Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Hello! And Goodbye!

Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement and the holiest day of the year in Judaism.

I don't really care about any of that.  (I have nothing to atone for, I am a Perfect Being.)

What I do care about is that school is closed today, so if you need me I'll be off parenting.  Oh, and on this holiest of holy days, I already almost completely lost my shit on some asshole washing his Escalade in the bike lane:
Sweet Jesus give me strength.

Oh, wait, wrong religion.  Sorry.  Though if you think about it the Judeo-Christian faiths are basically like the various drivetrain manufacturers in that while you push slightly different buttons they all do more or less the same thing.

Think about it.

And happy fasting!


--Tan Tenovo


23 comments:

Skidmark said...

Fast and happy.

pbateman is being annoyed by his biz partner that should be off atoning said...

if yummy kapur is like the Campagnolo Super record of judaism, why don't you have like more trees and lights and things to bling it up some?

Is christmas or easter the Dura Ace of christianity? tough call there.

frankly, i prefer to celebrate the opening of college football season. its the new old stock C-record of events in my book.

The Beeb said...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3cswh0j

"Why are Chinese bike-share companies struggling to replicate their success abroad? Ed Butler hears from Nick Hubble, a cycling campaigner in Manchester - the UK city where Chinese firm Mobike has just scrapped its bike-share scheme. Mobike's head of growth in Europe Steve Milton describes the challenges of global expansion. Julian Scriven from rival German firm Nextbike explains why the Chinese model doesn't necessarily work in other countries, and Dana Yanocha, Senior Research Associate at the Institute for Transportation and Development Policy in Washington DC, describes the challenges faced by US cities swamped by shared bikes."

HDEB said...

You exercised great control by not swerving to avoid the HD buckets and accidentally crashing into the power washer that was inconsiderately left in the bike lane. Absolutely agree about the juxtaposition of emotions while bicycle riding with ones children!

Anonymous said...

Bhuddism = fixed

Judeism = coaster brake

Islam = 3 speed internal

catholicism = campy

protestant = shimano

mormons= microshift

dancesonpedals said...

If it's any concession, the cop who gave me a ticket for my South-Philly Slide through a red light chastised me for standing in the bike lane while I waited for my copy.

Al said...

This is America and the biggest religion in this country is the worship of the automobile. It is God. And it is the most important commodity of corporate capitalism. It is a God that demands blood and child sacrifice. On the average, every year in this country, 500 children between the ages of infant and 5 years old die in traffic violence. Nobody cares except the grieving family and other parents just think...Oh well, wasn't my kid. This God strips us of our humanity, our empathy when we climb inside our 4 wheeled shitbox and we've learned indifference toward anything seen through God's windshield. But hey, what do I know.

Anonymous said...

Give Mister Escalade a ticket.

Still, the venerable "2-bucket" method is the way to go when contact washing your vehicle. And, even with those extending floorboards, the car washer probably has a step ladder or work platform on the traffic side of the SUV [how tall is that thing, really?!]. So, the washer is an equal-opportunity jerk.

Anonymous said...

pbateman - Easter is Dura-Ace but Christmas is Dura-Ace with Di2. (Because it's expensive and involves electronics.)

pbateman likes sslipery ssnakes said...

we forgot Satanism.

I reckon that is the Mavic SSC given that much of it was anodized in black and the double SS's of SSC sound like how a serpent would say something.

Olle Nilsson said...

Finding a considerate Escalade driver would be a true Yom Kippur miracle. We'd all have to start caring about that holiday if that was the case.

Kevin said...

I was going to write a 300 page book on God in America. It would have a picture of a 6000 lb single passenger STD,er SUV, and a picture of a $20.00 bill.

Anonymous said...

Easter is the dura-ace of christians but has long been overtaken by Christmas in the popularity contest.

Anonymous said...

You need that car wash setup for cross now that the whole family is into it.

Die free said...

There is a special edition Mavic wheel, black with 1 red spoke and red hubs...

They ride like the devil, I can't get enough

Pist Off said...

Great comments today on the collective automobile worship. IMO bicycle Buddhism would be any drivetrain option, but only shifted by friction, with flat pedals, and belt driven by some reclusive sects.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I so wish we had a 'Stop A Douchebag' campaign in NYC. The Russians have figured out how to punish Xam (Douchebag in Russian), posting their good deeds on youtube, and laughing all the way to the bank. That's a Yummy Kapur miracle. This Xam washing his mobile home would get a giant sticker on his windshield.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Die free, that is the Mavic Ksyrium Helium 20th anniversary edition, and that is what is on my bike as well.

Schisthead said...

Works as an address too:

God: I hate people.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oops, dixieme is tenth. I was inadvertently off by a decade.

JLRB said...

I'm sorry

Drock said...

Wrong religion, sweet Jesus, various drivetrains. Snob you are the most funny when saying little.

The Russian Bike Dude said...

This Xamgression will not stand, man.