Monday, July 9, 2018

Who Are You Calling A Litist?

Wow, I have so much exciting stuff to share I don't know where to begin!

Okay, fine, let's begin with my latest Outside column:


Which is like super topical now thanks to this tweet:

I'm surprised Twitter's algorithms didn't auto-reply with a GIF of someone eagerly eating popcorn after that one, because whoa.

Anyway, I highly recommend perusing the thread, because what's more ironic than a smug celebrity bike activist from Scandinavia calling out other people for their white privile(d)ge?

And yes, this is totally white privilege in action:


In more exciting news, I've taken delivery of a brand new testcycle!


Alas, I can't yet reveal the identity of the testcycle, but I can tell you the following:

  • It will be reasonably priced;
  • It is not made of wood.
Rest assured that I'll share all the details as soon as I have permission to do so, and that in the meantime I'll be using the bicycle extensively because this is the kind of bicycle you want to use extensively.

Finally, this past weekend I wound up in Brooklyn and came across a sign that said "free kayaking:"


I hadn't even gotten past the word "free" (is there a sweeter assembly of letters in the English language?) when next thing I knew my progeny and I were adrift in the fetid brine of New York Harbor:


It was all rather delightful.

Kayaks truly are the Fixies of the Sea.

55 comments:

N/A said...

WHAT IS THE TESTCYCLE? TELL US, TELL US, TELL US!


Looks like a biggish wheel/ knobbly-ish tire curation. Rivendell is talking mountainish bike in an affordable priceway coming up... and as a sponsor, that would be my first guess. But I also see a sliver of a dick break, so who knows. I guess the only thing to do is to post stupid guesses relentlessly until we find out for sure.

MolassesChamois said...

Wheels and balls and scranus

Hee Haw the barista said...

Paddle form critique in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

bad boy of the south said...

I know,i know.it's something with a maxxis tire on it.

Anonymous said...

Your sentence "And nothing arouses more suspicion than happiness." reminds me of Palahniuk:
"That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life."

What a sad commentary.

Anonymous said...

"Kayaks truly are the Fixies of the Sea." - this makes me sad.

HDEB said...

Motor vehicles create more economic activity than bicycles, private motor vehicles are King of the USA.

Cars stink -- ride a bike : )

BikeSnobNYC said...

HDEB,

The US city with the greatest amount of economic activity happens to have the lowest rate of car ownership.

--Wildcat Etc.

bad boy of the south said...

Time to kayak in nyack

rural 14 said...

Top ten for old times sake! I tried to gnaw the paddle.

janinedm said...

I think HDEB is talking about the economic activity of the object itself: insurance, car loans, gas, diabetes drugs, tolls, registration, etc. In other words, it funnels money out of the community into the pockets of corporations and the government.

Also, I just want to be sure that none of you wore a Wisconsin jersey and stretchy clothes to ride in Central Park this morning. If that was anyone here, I just want to say that I'm not sorry for saying you ride like a little bitch. Don't get out of your saddle to get in front of someone; odds are that you can't stay in front and then the other person has to brake. (I'm always low-key worried on the occasions I've yelled at a fellow cyclist that they're a commenter. I usually assure myself that we're an erudite group with good manners.

pbateman says get of my obstacle said...

six. five. zero. B.

full metal rims.

the most elite of wheel sizes for certain.

i was looking forward to maybe riding a new-to-me bike set up with similar sized wheels this month too, but alas i apparently commissioned michelangelo (the laziest of all the ninja turtles) and so its still waiting to be painted.

Anonymous said...

I've had few encounters with electric bicycles (maybe a dozen) while I was out riding my conventional bicycle. I don't remember race, or gender. I don't remember any of them carrying any kind of load. They've all been in Florida and on flat ground. None of the riders were pedaling (which certainly seems like a privilege on a hot day). One of them told me I was holding up traffic on a bike path. It could be jealousy I supposed to be passed so easily by someone not even pedaling. Handicapped riders aside, as far as I'm concerned, they're motorcycles, need to be treated as such, and kept off bike paths and bike lanes.

Some german bikestore slave said...

I think there might be a misunderstanding with Colville-Andersens tweet, I read it not as a global statement on Ebikes, but as a local one, i.e. Ebike riders in Copenhagen.

I work in my citys biggest bike store (it´s huge..), and that city is Munich, which is like Copenhagen very white, very rich, and flat.
My colleagues and I have observed a new phenomenon this year: young (under 40), fit - if not fairly fit like twice a week in a fitness studio -, well off people spending 4000$ in 15 min on Ebikes, only to ride to the Biergarten on sunday, 2 or miles, and flat as a pancake. Those very same customers are the ones that hop into some fucking monstruous SUV on monday morning to drive to work, max 4 miles away. And these people behave with their Ebikes just as bad and dumb as they do on the streets with their fucked up monsters.

That is why, in the local context, I quite agree with "whitepriviledge gadgets for a middle-class with elitist aspirations - probably the laziest demographic in the history of homo sapiens".

I reckon his tweet would have needed some nuances though, would have been better sounding less generalizing. But speaking from a rich, west european city, and in that context, he is partly right.

Anonymous said...

Now I want to get a bakfiets and put Truck Nutz on it.

Anonymous said...

I know other riders can be annoying. And it wasn't me, I live on the other coast. If I were you I would save the vitriol for the drivers that attempt to kill you.

Anonymous said...

Free is my second favorite four letter F word.

Spokey said...

i'm not i want to be part of an erudite group.

however, i sure does wanna be in with the corbomite group

in other news, i was using google street to check how i was going to get around in new brunswick this coming weekend. it shows a usps trcuk blocking the bike lane on albany street. shouldn't that be prima facie evidence of something bad?

Doug English said...

"Fixies of the sea" is just plain good word keyboard tapping stuff. I hope to remember it next time I use my (river) kayak on the ocean, because "fixies of the river" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Ebikes can be annoyingish on trails, but they're here to stay, so whatevs. They have, however, single-handedly ruined this year's NBCSports Tour de France challenge since the main prize is an ebike. It's really ugly and I do not want, even free.

Anonymous said...

I'm going with a Bilenky or Jones bike surprise.

Chazu said...

I'm still not over the fact that you use a dishwashing machine. Only degenerates use dishwashing machines.

DE said...

Ebikes suck on the trail, but whatevs, they're here to stay. My main gripe right now is that they've single-handedly ruined the NBCSports Tour de France prize this year, which is a horridly hideous eBike that I cannot imagine anyone watching the tour wanting.

[If slightly similar post eventually shows up, blame it on user error.]

Out of it said...

Anonymous Some german bikestore slave at 12:11...

Haven't been to Munich since the Cold War, but they drive SUVs there, too? That sticks. Why do Europoeans want to be like us here in the US of A? GO back ot the small ars! I drive a german small car, fer crissakes, and I can tell you the road has way too many giant SUVs (escalades, Range Rovers that never see any dirt, etc.)

Bummer all around.

JLRB said...

"They are generally healthier and more productive at work. "

... until they start spending half their day reading and making stupid comments on BikeSnobNYC, and its various spin-offs.

JLRB said...

And on the eBikes are evil front - twice last week I had pleasant experiences with eBikecyclists - they slowed and tucked in behind me, waiting to make sure they could safely pass before zipping along past me. Polite elitists?

I am still tempted to get one but know that will be the end of non-eBikes for my commutes - Too EZ

janinedm said...

Buddy, I live on the East Coast. I've got enough vitriol to go around. And honestly, I don't expect as much from drivers even if I believe they should be held to a higher standard on account of their deadliness. If they were smart they wouldn't be driving a single occupancy vehicle in Manhattan and many of them haven't been on a bike in years so they don't understand my struggle. Fellow cyclists should not be out there making it harder for one another. I mean, shoot, microwaving fish in the office doesn't kill anybody so I guess I should look at that kindly based solely on it being non-lethal. This is not to let people who are driving cars off of the hook and I would never air such grievances in mixed (non-cyclist) company for it would be a shanda fur di car goyim.

On a sort of related note, I've never been around an e-bike delivery guy who did anything but mind his own business and his manners, so...

Also, I've been thinking about the unrealistic perception of cyclists. I think you hit on a lot of the dynamics, but I think another one is which cyclists get highlighted. When we're shown utility cyclists, it's often is a kind of elitist image. I'm thinking of the sort of people you see in "Cycle Style" and "Cycle Chic." So many blogs out there think promoting utility cycling is to make it seem glamorous rather than filled with the schlubs who make up the majority of the people out there on a daily basis.

Lance said...

I got kicked in the testcycle once while playing soccer

NourskSiklist said...

Colville-Andersen is first and foremost a world famous fetishist. Of shoes,obviously, but feet and legs too. That's ok, but doesn't make him the doyen of biek culture. The cycling stuff was just an accessory. He's also the wrong sort of snob. I do not value his opinion on anything.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Spokey,

...New Brunswick is sparsely populated... maybe UPS trucker was doing a pee break.

...I have not been there though. I've only been there through the googlie maps because I'm planning a 10-day cyclotour there this summer.

...If you go and you advise against it because of hoards (hordes) of UPS trux, let me know.

Some german bikestore slave said...

@ Out of it at 1:56

We´re being drowned by SUVs, it´s a fucking nightmare, they´re everywhere, it´s a normal car here.

Munich - where BMW has its HQ - is the most polluted and congested city in Germany.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Being a boating fred, drone fred, and camera fred, I tried to summon all my powers to figure out where you were yakking. And I came to the idea of the Valentino Pier in Red Hook. Then I noticed the little hook painted in a red color on the sign. Not a place one usually would just happen across. But very cool.

The trees on the ceeement pier at right obstruct what would be great pix of downtown NYC. Passing by with a boat, you don't notice it much because it is set in a bit from regular traffic. The LV pier makes for a nerve wracking drone (e-kite?) trip to the famous icon directly west... if one were to try.

Ahh, priviledge...

vsk

BamaPhred said...

I would leave a worthwhile comment, but it’s hot, I’m full of golden fried deliciousness, so I think I’ll just go take a nap.

Pist Off said...

Really, misspelling “privilege” should nullify the rest of the tweet. E-bikes can be a work tool for poor delivery folks, a packhorse for urbanites, or a fashionable pseudo-green accessory for the rich. Still a lot better than another car. I'm just as conflicted as the rest of us- analog cyclists? Acoustic cyclists? But the motorbicycles are here and everyone has to get used to it.

Seattle lone wolf said...

E-bike is a perfectly cromulent type of bicycle.

Spokey said...

Serial Retrogrouch @ 2:54 PM


...New Brunswick is sparsely populated... maybe UPS trucker was doing a pee break.

it was a USPS truck. One of those cushman like things they drive at least around here.

NB will probably be fine. This was on the main drag (Albany St). RU is out so I would expect you'll be fine. Where are you heading? I can probably give suggestions (as worthy as free suggestions are). For ex. If you were heading to the Trenton area, you can get there almost completely off road by taking the D&R towpath from New Brunswick to the Trenton. Probably cross the roads only 8-10 times.


Backpfeifengesicht said...

M.K-A
"Putting the fuck you back into urban design since 2007"

Where can I give the fuck you back to Mikael Colville-Wankersen??
It has garnered some interest since 2007.

George Washington said...

I had a wooden testcycle that matched my teeth

JLRB said...


Fuck - Our Vision Zero Sucks, Too - I go through that intersection just about every day ...RIP JHL

Cyclist Dies After Being Struck By Truck On M Street NW
by Rachel Sadon in News on Jul 9, 2018 4:31 pm


A 36-year-old cyclist was killed after being hit by a truck in the 2100 block of M Street NW on Saturday afternoon, according to the Metropolitan Police Department.

Jeffrey Hammond Long, of Northwest, D.C., was biking west when a truck traveling in the same direction attempted to make a right turn onto New Hampshire Avenue NW at 2:15 p.m., according to MPD. As they collided, the cyclist fell under the truck.

Hammond was taken to a hospital for treatment. He succumbed to his injuries the following day.

The crash remains under investigation.

The District Department of Transportation installed a protected bike lane on M Street NW from Thomas Circle to 28th St. NW in 2014.

Two years ago, the city has launched an ambitious effort, Vision Zero, to eliminate all traffic fatalities by 2024.

Hammond was the second bicyclist killed in less than a month. 19-year-old Malik Habib died two weeks ago after his wheel got stuck in a streetcar rail on H Street NE and he fell in the path of a charter bus.

Some guy from upstate said...

My 17-foot aluminum Grumman canoe is the bakfeits of the sea ...

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC -

My dog wants to know if you noticed the free hot dogs as part of an art exhibit at the south end of Brooklyn Bridge Park.

If not, a return trip may be in order.

Free Hot Dog Exhibit

Anonymous said...

I must try the one bike only policy it looks really fun...

Bill Crowder said...

This skandi of which you speak is actually a Canadian!

Anonymous said...

Agreed

Persia said...

e-bikes are the processed cheese of cycling

DR said...

I see the mystery bike is a 27.5 plus. The obvious choice would be a jones short wheel base. But this is not a cheap bike (I have a Jones LWB) and the generic seat post on the Twitter picture post would never be on a jones. Maybe a surly with maxxis tires?

dop said...

wrm- Congrats on a new testcycle under your testicles

vsk-

The bike/boat/camera/drone freds have nothing on the tool & shaving freds. (Searching google for product reviews brings one to odd blogs and forums)(I should just go to a store and buy things)

New features on the mikita with the 18 volt power pack...

For my third shave with the Derby blade I used my Parker with the butterfly opening

Without these forums, all of these guys would be talking to theirs wives about their drills.

Honkylips said...

It’s probably a Cervelo

Honkylips said...

Yes I believe Mr Tenevo and Sir Vroomen we’re discussing the next prototype as they were paddling their kayaks out into the bay.

N/A said...

dop @ 7:31 AM: Derby blades suck. Hey, wanna' see a pic of my Timeless razors?




My next guess for the Testcycle is: A Mongoose from Walmart. The tires double the value of the bike!

dancesonpedals said...

N/A-

Call me gob smacked. Those are the BMC tri-bikes of shaving.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

dop - I just use a Norelco during the week now. Gilette Mach 3 for special occasions. I am all obsessioned out. Gonna take my 600mmf4 lens for a tune up / overhaul tomorrow.

Even worse than the neglect of all my machines, is the neglect of all my semi rusted tools. Specially the salt water soaked ones on the yacht.

vsk

Maria said...

Another bike? You are setting yourself up to run a marathon by the end of the year...
PS Well done on the Outside Online article - agreed!

1904 Cadardi said...

@janinedm

"Microwaving fish in the office doesn't kill anybody", maybe not kill, but when the Laotian guy in my office heated up his lunch the entire floor had to be evacuated and HazMat called in to decontaminate the place. The sweet rice was good though.

bad boy of the south said...

Sharp observation,dancesonpedals.

Anonymous said...

Kayak's are also the original Time Machines:

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kayak.png