Friday, July 27, 2018

New Outside Column About Old Parts

As I gird myself for a solid round of Jones testing today, I leave you with my latest column for Outside:


The inspiration for this particular treatise came when I passed my eleventy millionth rider with a subtly-hued and tastefully-patterned jersey, canvas handlebar bag, 32mm skinwall tires, and disc brakes.  Of course I like all these things, but being a dedicated contrarian, now that it's how you're supposed to do bikes it just doesn't have the same appeal.  Does this mean I suffer from the "indie syndrome" whereby I'm into something until it attains a certain degree of popularity at which point I announce contemptuously that I'm "over it"?  You're goddamn right it does!  Come on, the fact that I'm one of those assholes is the whole reason I started this blog in the first place!

So look for me in a vintage Primal jersey riding a bike with 23mm tires in a painstakingly contrived attempt to be different.


With that, I now grant you permission to leave work early and scamper off into the horizon on the bicycle of your choosing, and I will do the same.  See you next week, suckers.

Until then, I remain,

Yours and so forth,


--Tan Tenovo




34 comments:

pbateman likes the number 1 said...

podi-yummy chumps

pbateman read the article now said...

So, your pitch for skinny tires sound a lot like ads for Lifestyle Skyn condoms back in the day: "feel more of whats beneath you", "more thrumming"

I'm sure the disc brakes have their use, but for those of us that still consider snobby aesthetic as a very important factor into their bike builds, then i do hope the lovely little sculptures that are calipers never go away.

although i don't think i'll need to worry about this since i'm pretty sure my freaking frame is never getting painted.

SNOOBER, do you watch the TdF on the ad free option with the 2 dudes who aren't Phil, Paul and Bob, or do you put up with the ads to hear the soothing tones of Phil, Paul and Bob?

either way, its not been the most exciting TdF ....

Schisthead said...

Any intentional and serious bike critique merits the response "Go fuck yourself", then one merrily rides off into the colorful sunset.

Oh, and hate to break it to you bates, but disc brakes have calipers too...

Dooth said...

I'm thinking of putting a quality set of permanent fenders on my vintage beauty. But in order for the fenders to fit over 32mm tires I'll need to switch the calipers to Paul Components centerpulls, which go for about $400. Total cost with fenders will be around $500. Retro ouch.

Chazu said...

I'm in the midst of planning my next bike. It's been nearly years since I made an addition to my small collection, unless you count bikes for children and their mother.

So I have bikes with rim brakes, 9 speeds, and straight 1" head tubes. Not to mention forks with 1" steerer tubes.

While I'm fine with wider, tapered head tubes and 11 (12, soon?) speed cassettes, I'm torn on the brakes. Yes, I want the latest tech. No, I don't want to maintain hydraulic brakes or deal with obsolete fork-mount bike racks. I don't want two, incompatible collections of wheels. The latest Ultegra calipers seem fine, but then so does the finely-modulated stopping power of disk brakes.

My next road bike is going to carry me into old-age, and I'm somewhat resigned to the notion of the bike having the inescapable, sloping top tube. But the damned brake choice is like an ancient parable. What would King Solomon do? He'd have a caliper on the front wheel, and a disk on the back.

dancesonpedals said...

Great to see the discs and calipers ready to rumble (which is the Shark, which the Jet?)

I was just saying to my wife that I never see anthropomorphic renderings of bike components anymore. I must have said it after intercourse; If I had said it before, there wouldn't have been any.

bad boy currently in the midlantic. said...

Another hot and steamy day in the DC area.t-storms are a-comin'.

Anonymous said...

Wildcat, 32mm tires are so yesterday, 47mm Horizons are all the rage!

Just built up my new Lilac, VO Polyvalent and it has most of the newest Chi-Chi bits; 650B, WTB Horizons, Dick Brakes, Albastache bars, Wald basket and in the fall . . . . . wait for it . . . . . . FENDERS!!!

It's crushing the 14 mile commute!

How's that for Smug Commuter bike shaming?? ;-)

-masmojo

bike tube guy said...

OK, consider me leaving work early and scampering off on the indie fredmobile bike of my choosing (before the fire and brimstone storm scheduled for NYC this afternoon).

Just curious said...

Was Roglic drafting behind the motorbike or not?

Bon weekend 'a tous!

Pist Off said...

Pbateman with the velo you want to be jaune, aren’t there other painter options in the area? I’m following along for updates daily. Love me some RB-1.
Also, did I miss any mention of the TdF peloton getting partially teargassed? Aggro cops are all over I guess.

Some guy from upstate said...


Have fun Jones testing. I'm still struggling with the "fun to ride to the trail" concept. I ride my mountain bike to the trails if they are the trails that are close to my house or the trails near work that I can combine with a bus ride home. It feels horribly abusive to the knobby tires and ridiculously slow every time. This seems to mainly be a function of the tires, and I am riding a hardtail XC 29er with "skinny" 2.1 tires . It seems going to 27.5 Plus would only make matters worse. A rigid MTB with skinny(er) bald tires, on the other hand, is fairly pleasant to ride on streets. Maybe your reviews will help me understand what I am missing.

huskerdont said...

Have several different bikes, but I'm starting to feel like bikes with disc brakes actually look more attractive.

That may change, but one thing that won't change is my belief that the aesthetics of road bikes are wrong unless they're 58s. So if you're too tall or short for a 58, your bike just looks wrong in proportion to the wheel size. Okay, maybe a 56 might be okay. In a pinch.

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

bad boy currently in the midlantic. said...

Ride fast.ride slow. either way,just ride.but, do it so that we can all be back here monday.

No pain = a lot of gain said...

I concur.

Yeah the weather is perfect and I'm having a perfectly pleasant day and night, because i'm not going bikepacking.

HDEB said...

My NEWEST bicycle is a circa 2000 Handmade in California 24" wheel GT cruiser : )

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

If you ain't got screaming M.A.F.A.C.s, you ain't got shit.


I miss TrackStarNYC
Brakes, ... oh you still use those?

vsk

Al said...

Since it's the last Friday of the month, I would love to do a Critical Mass ride. But there is no Critical Mass ride where I live. So I will ride my bike in traffic, drink beer and smoke weed pretending that I am on a Critical Mass ride. See you all on the flip flop.

Madtowner said...

I used to run wider tires so I had a mental excuse when someone passed me "look at those skinny tires, they're so much faster"

Now I'm going to have to change to skinny tires so I can mentally excuse myself as another rider passes me "look at those wide tires, much better rolling resistance"

Done

Brian said...

I'm going to break out my old Cannondale Criterium with 20mm tires.

InstantPam said...

Huskerdont@1:23pm- I would agree but, most riders of 58cm bikes are slightly too short for my tastes.

Microcord said...

Chazu (July 27, 11:48), it's pretty easy to find bikes with horizontal top tubes, if you look beyond the most heavily advertised brands. (And even some of the latter make them.)

I don't see anything inferior about the modulation or whatever of my 105 caliper brakes.

"Eleven-speed" is more finicky than ten, and requires a weaker chain.

Di2 is reputedly wonderful, until it starts to go wrong. And when that happens: Good luck!

Anonymous said...

as a reminder from a previous comment, there are rim brakes and disc brakes. both use calipers (and brake pads).

Dooth said...

Hell yeah to 23mm tyres (y not?) on my track bike which I run on my own private quasi velodrome for high intensity interval training...phew.

Wesley Bellairs said...

A disc brake stops the hub, not the bike. It's up to the spokes, rim, and tire to stop said bike. As such, the hub, rim, and spokes must be overbuilt along with a weighty rotor, mounting bolts, and the brake itself.
All in all this is yet another ploy by the goobs at Interbike to con you into paying for their new Range Rover and tuition for their sprogs.
A set of Yokozuna salmon pads will make any bike perform like the best disc brake. Cost. $35.

Anonymous said...

A rim break stops the rim. Surely the tyre, spikes and hub still need to transfer this force to the bike?

dop said...

I don't see how calipers could stop a bike, unless they got caught in the spokes.

McFly said...

I just can't miss the finish on the Chomps Ulysses.

After dropping my gig of 15 years for a new INDUSTRIAL TOOLING ENGINEER position (suck it bitchez) I was going to reward myself with a new road frame but am going with 2009 Suzuki V Strom instead. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY CURRENT ROAD FRAME Y'ALL.

JLRB said...

#whatwidththongyouwearing

JLRB said...

Wasn't it Grant Petersen who extolled the virtues of the overnight ride into the woods in Just Ride?

Soon the little mini-snobs will be joining you on overnight bike-packing trips to Times Square.

Chazu said...

I enjoyed the feeling of asphalt thrumming beneath my 23mm tires inflated to 100 psi last Saturday. I rode in a National Park. Many thanks to all of the American taxpayers out there.

G Cajala said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G Cajala said...

Dang, you need to quit hanging with all those uppity spandex jocks Snob! Just ditch the latest and greatest and Cordura fanbrics and restore an old Strandie! Hang with the 4130 Chromies and pop wheelies down the avenue en mass to scare the gentrifiers out of the inner city! Do us working people some justice!