This simple bike will prevent you from bashing your fingers on your gears pic.twitter.com/tPxUA18HIX— Bicycling Magazine (@BicyclingMag) May 21, 2018
Evidently this is enough of a problem that they went through the trouble of making a video about it, and the solution apparently is to harness the awesome power of opposable thumbs:
Next up from Bicycling: How to lube your chain without getting your tongue caught in your drivetrain.
Of course I realize that as an old fuddy-duddy my insistence that impaling yourself on your cassette is a non-existent problem could be entirely due to the fact that I am totally out of touch. See, now that everyone's riding gravel bikes with 10-52 cassettes and deep-section cray-bone rims there's now only like two millimeters of clearance between the valve stem and the low gear so maybe it is a real issue. Also, one can't be expected to pay attention to proper valve orientation during inflation when one is so preoccupied with making sure the #whatpressureyourunning is accurate to the .000000th PSI. It's not like the old days where you had a 19-tooth low gear and a rim with the depth of a fingernail and you just kept inflating your 21mm tire until the pump head blew off by iteslf.
Speaking of being out of it, despite a biblical streak of rainy weather I attempted to participate in a bicycle race on Saturday morning. Since it was already raining when I woke up at an hour so grotesquely early I won't even share it I decided to spare the Renovo the indignity of getting dirty and instead rode my Milwaukee, even though it is outfitted for leisurely mixed-terrain rambling and not high-speed park-Fredding:
As I rolled down to the park in the rain I couldn't shake the feeling that my heart simply wasn't in it, and as the race began it became immediately clear that my legs weren't either, and I became detached from the pack as quickly and expeditiously as a bicycle pump head being flicked off the valve by a pair of thumbs in a Bicycling magazine instructional video.
Then I went to retrieve my bag, only to find it had been befouled from above by a bird:
By way of penance (and because it was still barely 6am) I figured I'd head over the GWB for some Fred mileage, but by the time I reached 125th Street I was more or less soaked through and the idea of heading anywhere but home was profoundly unsavory. So I limped home wet and defeated, and in a way I suppose it was punishment from the Great Lobster On High for so flippantly writing about quitting bike races last week:
Though in fairness to myself at no point did I consider pulling a Siskevicius and riding eight laps in Central Park by myself.
Then on Sunday I did decide to head over the GWB to River Road, which turned out to be an incredibly stupid idea since it was the day of the Gran Fondo New York, aka "Attack of the Freds":
As the curator of a local cycling blog I should have known that, but those green jerseys have become so ubiquitous I now seem to automatically tune them out. Therefore, I only realized it was going on when I was already on River Road and I saw signs informing me it was closed for a bicycle race. Naturally I ignored these signs, but then a police officer fired up the ol' megaphone and told me the road was closed "unless you're in the race:"
For a moment I considered telling him I was in the race, but it seemed silly to run afoul of the law just for the sake of riding a road I've traveled roughly eleventy billion times before. So I turned around and made my way back home via the High Bridge, thus capping off a weekend of extremely poor cycling decisions.
Finally, as you may or may not have seen, Outside got lots of ridicule for this tweet:
Marianne Vos is the greatest cyclist you've never heard of. https://t.co/hGx3LDj5e4 pic.twitter.com/3pUfcW5V9A— Outside Magazine (@outsidemagazine) May 21, 2018
Naturally people were indignant over the notion that nobody's heard of Marianne Vos, but the fact is that most people haven't heard of Marianne Vos...or Peter Sagan, or really any current top-level cyclist for that matter. Maybe they've heard of Chris Froome because he won the Tour de France and he's been in the news a lot for the salbutamol or the somnambulism or whatever, but that's about it.
So it doesn't seem so ridiculous to me, but what do I know, apart from everything?
41 comments:
You are doing the podium comments all wrong.
I'm waiting for our first hurricane. Might as well drink V8 shandies. Watch the rain.
Goddamn millenials, hack your life and your bike. Podium?
If you don't have a problem, they'll come up with one for you. And sell you the solution too
Now, how do I fix my bent valve stem?
Beryl Bainbridge, too. hey nonny mouse
What if someone wants to insert their tongue into a drivetrain? Is there a video for that?
Unless you have some fat-wallet sponsor dictating your bikecycling comings-and-goings, it is silly to be miserable on a ride. There's other ways to exercise and unless you're commuting to work, what's the point?
Does the Renovo have a problem with getting soaking wet? Does it need re-varnished every spring? Do you need to put a coaster under your water bottles?
I have always put my valve stem at 12-o-clock-ish, but I do it so I don't have to bend over as far to mount/dismount the pump head.
Bicycling: for cyclists not clever enough to realize their wheels rotate so they can spin it around so they don't have to bend over to attach the pump in the first place.
Next week: how to spin your crank backwards so you can start with your crank arms horizontally instead of scootering along to get enough speed to get going.
I lube my chain with my tongue
N/A,
Sometimes you think the ride's gonna be fun and it ends up not being fun. That's part of the fun of it.
RE: Renovo, I'm sure it would be fine in the rain, I'm just lazy and like to keep one bike clean-ish.
--Wildcat Etc.
@jane, ask yourself if you feel lucky, and bend it very gently back.
considered replying to the bieksickling video when i saw it in a tweet. but i'm still too insecure to embarrass myself like that.
i do use the two thumb method of removing the pump head but that's not to keep my knuckles out of my cassette. i figure pushing straight off like that keeps the stem from breaking, getting a tear or something else i wouldn't like.
it might also help if the bicycling babe used a tube with a stem that was shorter than 3 or 4 feet long.
Getting caught in the rain* is one thing, but starting out in the suck tain't for me anymore. I know some people love all varieties of self-flagellation on their rides. S'all good by me, I'll talk bikes with anybody. I recognize I'm mostly a woosie these days.
Also, I was being about 50% silly with my Renovo questions, as I mostly wanted to work that coaster "joke" in there. I really was curious about any care issues, though.
*Yes, I like Pina Coladas.
My dog informs me he tweeted about keeping track of the Gran Fondo signs.
I asked him how he tweeted without opposable thumbs.
Apparently, he dictates.
We accidentally went up River Road during last year's Gran Fondo and got turned back. We picked our way through Fort Lee to 9W and rode up to Piermont before turning around and catching the tail of the Fondo down 9W and River Road before bailing where the Fondo riders split off River Road to head back up to 9W.
You have to be polite when you're only 45 miles into a ride where everyone else has already ridden 90 miles. But I must say getting buzzed by a moto-scooter with a camera person on the back made us feel very pro.
Also....
At the risk of stating the obvious, if you inflate your tires while holding a piece of avocado toast in each hand, you'll never scrape your knuckles.
I know, I know.
I told my dog he was crazy when he suggested it.
But it works.
It really works.
And it's only obvious in houndsight.
Nobody has heard of Chris Froome either. Lance could maybe crack 30% (and only because it is a popular derogatory term for cyclists) and only Peewee Herman would crack 50%.
N/A
I liked the coaster joke.
Leroy@152p.
Groan,but in a good way.
dear mr leroy
just out of curiosity (which must mean something i suppose), without opposable thumbs just how does your dog remove his pump head?
oh, and a second question if i may. does he use a tube with a nice reasonable stem? say about a 1/2 to 3/4 inch long? or does he use one like that video requiring a 10 lb weight on the opposite side for balance?
attack of the killer green jerseys.
Is Grand Fondo New York a cycling team with its own kit? Is one allowed to race in the Grand Fondo with a different kit?
Will anyone be wearing that limish-green kit next year?
And, the variety of socks on the GFNY team memebrs totally klls the vibe.
GOod for you, Snobby, to take another path!
I don’t always rotate my valve stem to the top position, but when I do, I always paint my nails Cherry Red.
Are you sure a bird befowled your package? There were rumors of a Cipollino sighting in NYC for the big race. Also high levels of synthetic T kills your baby cells making it chalky white.
19 tooth low gear?...…….HaHaHaHa…….That was funny because I still have an old 12-19 7 speed DA freewheel that I used to race on, back in the dark ages. (That was back when men were men.....(and so were women))……...PS. I use tubes with two valve stems, and I just use the one farthest away from the cassette.
At the risk of being the noob, yeah I've cracked my fingers like that (including this weekend), and honestly, I'm happy for this "hack" even though I hate the term "hack".
Dear Mr. Spokey -
My dog removes the pump head without opposable by telling me to do it - much like the New Year's Day Ride GWB Gran Fondo Fred encounter Mr. BSNYC had a while back.
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2014/01/2014-year-of-fred.html
My dog says I'm kind of like his Shabbos Goy, but for bike maintenance.
As for stems, I think he uses all different sizes. At least that's what I surmise from the stems he leaves around the house in little baggies with a bunch of seeds.
I'm not sure why he does that, but he claims it all works out because I patch our tubes using glue products in a poorly ventilated area.
Of course I've heard of Marriane Vos ... she did a bitchin cover of White Punks on Dope.
They need to keep in mind that the tire pressure will be slightly* higher at the top of the tire than the bottom. Hopefully there's a table to compensate for that, for each tire size.
*about 0.001 PSI
With these wooden bykes how do you deal with woodworm? Do you just use regular wood filler or is it best to use a synthetic resin filler for added compliance?
Shouldn't we all be changing our tires by Bluetooth (TM) or something? I can't keep up with the tech.
Andy; is the tire pressure higher or just lower atmospheric pressure.
Snobby; your writing is close to par with that of mary karr, and you share similar opinions on "do not go gently" according to a recent tweet.
That's a pretty piss weak hack. And the music is crap too.
I confess: I found that video informative. (Slaps forehead)
21mm? Back in the day it was 19 for sewups and 20 for clinchers. Nobody broke out anything anything as fat as 21 was for ripping single track like Jobst Brandt. Narrow is aero.
Dear Snob,
After reading your "Dignity of Quitting" article, which I enjoyed, I finally realized that you mis-named yourself. I have never found you to be much of a snob, but more a (likable) curmudgeon (or the yiddish equivalent). Bike Curmudgeon NYC.
As to the pump 'hack', it does not matter. With my arthritic thumbs there is no painless way to fill tires.
I thought "everybody" used a screw on pump head. Seems a whole lot easier anyway...
The Bicycling video is about 8 years too late as I have hit the back on my hand on the cassette many times. I blamed the old pump, but mostly it was due to me being (a) weak enough to require a large cassette (b) nevertheless vain enough to remove the pie plate. Luckily I'm also too cheap for deep-section carbon wheels, otherwise I would have ended up seriously injured.
When Leroy speaks, I listen.
I thought Marianne Martin was the greatest cyclist no one ever heard of.
(Before her, it was Beryl Burton.)
Post a Comment