Monday, January 8, 2018

Detoxing from Fred-dom

Firstly, late on Friday, Outside published my latest column which is all about that idiot Amy Alkon and how she thinks carrying kids on your bike is child engangerment:


Comments on their Facebook page range from claims that children should wear helmets while being carried slowly in box bikes to whatever the hell this is:

Aaron Daney It's ironic that Outside Magazine promotes unrelated liberal agendas while at the same time writing on topic pieces poo pooing the types of agendas that liberals promote. It's like the stripper that knows she's crazy but will put a 4" heel through your skull if you actually call her crazy.

That's not even a word salad.  That's a word purée.

Secondly, you'll be pleased to know I finished throwing together some "road" wheels for Ol' Piney and the results are, well, rather unattractive:


In fact it looks very much like a New York City food delivery bike:


Rest assured I do not mean that as an affront to New York City food delivery riders, who work harder on the bike than just about anybody.  Still, that doesn't mean I have to find their bikes attractive, nor is it in any way at odds with my respect for them.  Sure, I'll never understand the high fender thing, but presumably they have their reasons:


Anyway, back to Ol' Piney, I'm afraid I didn't have time to put in a proper ride on it in that configuration.  Also, it was like 15 degrees and there's still a ton of snow on the ground, so I'd be lying if I said I was inclined to make time.  However, a quick spin around the neighborhood reveals that, aesthetic configurations aside, it feels quite comfy and nimble with the "skinny" tires on it:


At some point I'll try to work out a better fender solution--preferably one that provides for full coverage yet isn't too onerous to install and remove--but for the time being it is what it is.

In any case, my hope is that between the two pairs of wheels I'll be covered for everything from full-on offroad rides to longer mixed-terrain rambles with a fair amount of pavement.  Will I look terminally uncool when the bike is in jacked-up hybrid mode?  Absolutely.  But part of the one-bike-for-a-year* experiment is about attempting to cure myself of those concerns once and for all.

*[With plenty of convenient exceptions, of course.]

Finally, by way of a teaser, this past weekend this guy I know who used to race bikes invited me to a screening of this:


Tomorrow I'll tell you all about both it and the "epic" Citi Bike ride I undertook to get there.


53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anonymous podio, suckas!!!

Anonymous said...

Helllllo?

dnk said...

There is so much I would like to say right now on the subject of bikes and children and why kiddies should not be allowed upon "streets" (or even near the curb) unless they are tucked into the backseats of "cars" playing on the iPad.

But I'm afraid that at this juncture there is a stripper putting her 4" heel through my skull because I have poo-poohed her liberal agenda by calling her crazy. Some people.

Please call my publicist for further comment.

Bryan said...

I think Piney looks pretty good with skinny tyres.

Billy said...

Why not just put a regular set of fenders on there?

Some regular SKS plastic fenders should do fine, even offroad. Just use the little clips so it can come off instead of throwing you over the bars if you get a stick in there: https://www.rivbike.com/products/sks-secu-clips-pair-27009

You could even gin up a little springaling to make it easier to get wheels in and out.

Though I kind of like your bike as-is. It's good for your soul to channel your inner food delivery rider.

theEel said...

WEED!

Olle Nilsson said...

Nice filth prophylactic. Oh wait, that's your bike. For a minute there, I thought you reposted an old blog from 2009.

Pist Off said...

Using transportation other than automobiles for your offspring is child endangerment. Let’s just reduce this utterly stupid argument to its simplest form.

Doper said...

What the fuck does "it is what it is" mean? Reminds me of that "this is this" scene from The Deer Hunter.

HDEB said...

Muscles not motors : )

BikeSnobNYC said...

Doper,

It means what it means.

Billy,

I don't know of full fenders that will accommodate 3" knobby tires, and I'm not crazy about installing and removing full fenders over and over again. Plus, even with the safety tabs full-on MTBing with full fenders seems like a bad idea.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

Great Outside article, Mr BikeSnob. As to the continuing slaughter of children in traffic violence, on average every year, about 500 children between the ages of infant and 5 years old, are killed in car crashes. If anything else was killing children like that, we would all be wearing those little ribbons on our lapels.

leroy said...

Mr. Daney writes as though he speaks from personal experience.

I don't mean to brag, but my dog assures me that even I know better than to question the sanity of someone wielding a 4" heel as a weapon regardless of their profession.

I guess I'm just never going to be one of those write what you know authors.



Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Turdteenth? Mondays are generally a recovery day for me.

Anonymous said...

The nice thing about agendas is that they're transparent and obvious, so you can take them or leave them. It's those critical thinkers that worry me, though. You never know who's side they're on.

Anonymous said...

Is the Milwaukee a test/loan as well?
Care to sell if you won't be needing it?
(Minus saddle and the long stem of course)

Boywonder said...

Ol piney is now an over curated mutant. I suggest you take the freak behind the barn and kill it with an axe.
Looking forward to your next blog of wonder.
Regards

Joe said...

I look forward to updates on your one bike commitment. I'll be curious to know if you find swapping wheels somewhat regularly easier than just riding a second bike for road rides or if using only 1 bike makes you any more motivated to maintain a regular maintenance schedule. Seems crazy enough to work, but I'm skeptical it will actually be less work.

blunchbelly said...

Wouldn’t flats have more versatility for the one and only?

Hee Haw the barista said...

4" stilettos through the skull costs extra.

Anonymous said...

Why do people believe schlepping children via bike is dangerous or more precisely more dangerous then just riding a bicycle solo? These same people don't seem to be jumping up and down about people endangering themselves by riding bicycles!? But, isn't this just another form of "Victim Shaming"? which is politically incorrect now!
Question is not that it's dangerous, but why?

Why is it dangerous? Cars! Plane & simple! If they want our children to be safe they should stop driving their cars!!!

I totally admit that I am a brain washed car user, but I am not totally clear about what to do about it! I mean for 100ish years society in this country has rotated around the all mighty automobile & as much as I recognize that an alternative method is in order, I am not entirely sure if a bicycle is it!? Or, maybe even part of the solution? Totally open to sugestions though! -masmojo

BikeSnobNYC said...

Joe,

My suspicion is that spreading wear over more than one bike is probably less work in the long run. In my one-bike days I recall wearing out cassettes with regularity, now with multiple bikes and wheels I don't remember the last time that was an issue. Then again maybe I just don't ride as much...

Anonymous 3:23pm,

Milwaukee is not a loan. However of all my bikes it's extremely unlikely I'd get rid of that one.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

Great column about schlepping kids. However, Ol' Piney looks like stool. Zip-tie some cheap fenders on the poor gal.

janined said...

These fenders are easy on and easy off: https://www.biketiresdirect.com/product/sks-raceblade-pro-fenders.

BikeSnobNYC said...

janined,

Yes, I use fenders like that on another bike, but they're way too narrow for this one.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

that wheel brow hurts my eyeballs. Please make it stop. also the geriatric bars are an affront. what's with the orange fork? Screams Walmart. other than that...

McFly said...

Hey if anybody's putting 4 inches of something into something else involving a stripper it should not be a stiletto through a skull.

Ze Cherman said...

Wildcat, that Piney bike of yours is the ugliest bike I have ever seen. I know that because anything uglier is not a bike. Good on ya. Mine's only slightly less revolting. But it's mine so it can't be more hideous than yours.

Skidmark said...

@Anonymous 5:20pm Those are some astutepid observations.

Unknown said...

Time to call Peter White Cycles and order some Nokian studded tires for Old Piney. The tires seem expensive until you find yourself sliding down the road waiting to stop.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Actually someone in the bike industry should curate a custom set of fenders for your one bike that will accomodate both wheelsets. I'd do it for you if I had the time, skills and tools, but alas I don't.

Anonymous said...

Duh! You could have stayed home and watched it ages ago on Flexnut TV...

Pistil Pete said...

Dood
Good Outside column.
Keep up the good fight, you're on the side of History

Blaue Reiter said...

Sieg CYCLES UBER ALLES!
Nice commentary on safety, and you are right about the aesthetic appeal of your bike with those wheels... Maybe the rat rod crew could suggest something?

Anonymous said...

Ol' Piney needs a longer fork. And ape hanger handle bars. You are almost to a (real) Schwinn Stingray.

I love the one bike project. Back in the day, it wasn't a project but reality. We rode road, dirt, everything on whatever was in the stable - Stingray or Varsity.

E-bike Zen Master said...

Glad to see you back for the New Year! But I must say, I find your "one bike for a year" commitment non-convincing, because you allow yourself to change wheels. That might be TECHNICALLY one bicycle frame, but it's not in the spirit of one bike. Most people (i.e. non-Freds) just use one bike to get around, and they DON'T change the wheels (or even tires) all the time. The only time I ever remove the wheels from my bikes is when I get a flat; and then I put the same one back on. Is it not possible to find one set of wheels that can go everywhere? Or do you need "road wheels," "gravel wheels," "cyclocross wheels," etc? Outside of Fred-dom, I think that one set of wheels will suffice.

So... I would encourage you to amend your pledge. Find a set of wheels and tires you can live with, and commit to that set, along with the rest of your "one bike," for the whole year.

I try to keep it simple myself. I have an Arrow e-bike, which I use for most purposes. I have a Brompton, when I want to take a bike on a rush-hour train. And that's about it. Oh yes... I did the Tour de Bronx on my Bianchi touring bike; because why use a motor in the rare case when I'm actually riding for FUN? But had I made a ONE BIKE commitment (well, two-bike commitment), I would have used my Brompton instead.

E-bike Zen Master said...

For anyone who thinks that schlepping children on bicycles is particularly dangerous, please understand that it is perfectly legal to carry your 6-year-old child on your Harley at 65mph on the NY State Thruway. According to the DMV, crash statistics show that this is not a problem:

https://nysdmv.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/830/~/child-passengers-on-motorcycles

And yet, recent proposed e-bike laws would have prohibited carrying children under the age of 16 on an e-bike. Increasingly, cargo bikes are made to carry children, and small motors are added so users can pedal them at normal bicycle speeds. There is no rational reason to prohibit this, and yet allow children as passengers on motorcycles in traffic.

WWj said...

Nice job with new wheel set. You'll love the 29er version, It get's a while to get use to but the speed and feel is great (and the cost of comfort surprisingly isn't so big).

Anonymous said...

Typical. You commit to one and only one bike, and then that bike let's itself go and ends up looking like crap.

janinedm said...

See the great thing about an experienced cyclist on an ugly bike is that most people in the "match your bar tape to your chamois pad" set only ever have to see the ugly bike as it passes them.

Artie Lange's Mom said...

Artie, you're a piece of SHIT ! get your fat ass on the plane and go to rehab, tou looser.
love
Mommy.

dancesonpedals said...

Anonymous-

Are you saying your bike quit her job and gained 20 pounds?

Anonymous said...

You might like: https://youtu.be/SptLllHvVQM

- masmojo

BamaPhred said...

My bike quit it’s job, and I gained 20 pounds. Now that’s just not fair.

cdinvb said...

I thought this looked familiar. Oh. Yeah. Today is Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

MK Fat Bike fenders. Aint cheap, but they’d add a touch of yur renovo to yur marin.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Back in the day when this blog was edgy I used to enjoy it while eating my lunch. Now I enjoy it with supper.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Tuesday Podio rodeo?


vsk

dancesonpedals said...

No Tuesday post, or my safe word isn't scranus.

Fourhourerection said...

In the process of installing some Jones Bars. Can't wait to give the grand kid a ride on them. Highway to the danger zone.

bad boy of the south said...

ah,a day "off",huh?

Anonymous said...

Why not throw one of those slabs o'plastic on the downtube to go with your rear fender gizmo? They keep a lot of crap thrown up from the front wheel off you and your shoes..at least as effective as what you have out back, dontcha think?

Dooth said...

Isn't today tomorrow? Where's that epic Citibike ride?