Monday, November 13, 2017

Oh my goodness, is that the time?!?

Well, I've done no rides on the wooden bike subsequent to the Outside column I shared on Friday, mostly because it was bitter cold and that's not when I want to be riding an aero bike with skinny tires.  Instead, I sought shelter in the woods and took a ride on Ol' Piney:


Subsequent to my thwarted attempt last Thursday I still hope to have the bike Jones-ified by the end of this week, though when it comes to failing to meet the goals I've set for myself I often exceed my expectations.

Also, you can be sure the ride was no fun whatsoever, because not only was I on a rigid bicycle but also my "local trails suck."

Moving on, the UCI is going to investigate Fabian Cancellara after Phil Gaimon, in his latest book, accüsed him of motördoping:


"What I would say regarding the case you are speaking about is that I will try to have more information and we will investigate. We will investigate because we need to know exactly what is behind this. Of course, I heard all the rumours, like everybody, and I just want to know exactly. So we will investigate, that is our job," Lappartient said.

"At this level, I cannot say more than this, but I hope that this never happened in professional cycling. If this was the case, it would be a disaster for the image of cycling and that's why we have to fight. I want the people and the fans on the road to be able to trust the result, trust the UCI and trust the controls from our institutions."

Translation: we will go through the motions and then and conclude there's no evidence that he cheated so that you can safely continue to enjoy pro cycling.

Of course this is where people in the media start saying they've known all along:
Funny how that works.

But yeah, I mean come on, look at this this fucking guy:



He should be delivering Chinese food on that thing:


Yes, the only organization that hates ebikes more than the UCI is the City of New York, so if David Lappartient doesn't nail Cancellara then I'm sure Mayor de Blasio will.

Speaking of tech, here's the sick-ass titatium hop-up kit of your dreams, and it's perfect for those Brompton beach rides:


Internal hub and disc brakes?



That's a folding Fred's fantasy right there.

Finally, in Sarasota, FL, police are ticketing cyclists and pedestrians in order to save them:


Oh sure.  Looking at that intersection behind him, my first thought was "Someone really needs to do something about all those unruly pedestrians and cyclists."

37 comments:

Atherton said...

podium. unemployment looks good on me

Atherton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serial Retrogrouch said...

...So the police respond to an employee of Just Trucks of America complaint by ticket cyclists and pedestrians. The police chief was quoted as saying, 'There's NO COLLUSION here'. When asked if he meant 'no collusion', he said, 'yeah, yeah... that's what I meant.'

Leadout man said...

Podium?

That is one large truck behind the "more patrols, less crime" woman, and we know that cyclists are the criminals.

N/A said...

Ol' Piney is going to be one handsome devil with a set of Jonesy bars. IF THEY EVER GET INSTALLED.

Anonymous said...

On the birthday card I found this month...

I used to just crastinate. Then I became a pro.

Anonymous said...

How are 2.8" Ranger's on typical East Coast trails that suck?

bad boy of the south said...

Motorin' on.

1904 Cadardi said...

"Educate pedestrians and bicyclists". Translation: You aren't welcome here, so please go elsewhere with your scofflaw ways!

Pist Off said...

I saw a pedestrian walking down the sidewalk wearing a bike helmet today. No bicycle, a long way between major streets. I think he may have been a time traveler from 2022, because soon all non-car traffic will be required to wear the helmet for its own safety.

JLRB said...

E-Doping is so tempting. As messed up as it is for the pros to have done it I cannot blame them. They ride in a shit show of doped up freaks, up hills that would bring me to a crawl, at best.

It is tempting for a slovenly commuter like me. That Copenhagen wheel had me thinking about giving it a try. I've mulled it over and decided I cannot go down that rabbit hole. Yes, it might keep me from giving in to the motor vehicle commute temptation a few times a year, and there are those days when I really don't want to ride home, etc. But one of the main reasons for me riding a bike to commute is for the workout (the abuse from drivers is just a bonus). I know I'd use the e-bike more than I should...

But ultimately, for the sake of my lazy-ass human-child I cannot give in - if I roll an e-bike into the garage he will: (1) take it when I am not around; and either (a) wrap it around a tree, or (b)never want to ride a non-e-bike again. Once I'm an empty-nester maybe I'll give in ...

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

Manlicher said...

I read what Gaimon wrote: it's not an accusation. Why all the muffsplatter?

Grump said...

Just stop motorists from giving cyclists "right hooks", or from turning left in front of them.

HDEB said...

Cops in dense urban areas can't catch me ; ) I am a robot.

Anonymous said...

My motor vehicle commute was typically around a hundred miles American. If I left my mountain rural home for the city, rent would have been three times my gas money plus the mortgage payment on the house I now own since the bank has been paid off. One does what one must for one's family.

And granted, I do not have 17, or 22, or however many kids catpeerockmachine says that he does. I only have my one beautiful brainy daughter. "Quality over quantity", says I.

Oh, and the bike-hating DiBlasio (not his real name) is a Democrat. Just thought you should know.

Anonymous said...

In addition to the gratuitous F250 truck advertising, I love that the news crew got the Citgo $2.69/gal gas sign in too. It's the little cinematographic touches that make award winners.

I can't say climate change motivates my transportation choices either, but Serasotta is apparently at 16' of altitude, at least in the hills.

dancesonpedals said...

The shit will really hit the fan when Roy Moore's cousins are deposed.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:05pm,

What if you'd bought in the city?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

JRLB... my e-bike has a KEY, makes it hard for the kid to take it for a joy ride. But don't do the Copenhagen wheel thing, go get a real e-bike.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Nothing to see here, folks, just a 19% grade Cancellara shot up like it was pointed downhill.

janinedm said...

A hundred miles a day? Can that be right? Well, the city isn't for everyone to be sure, but I can't imagine the kind of square footage it would take to make a hundred mile commute something I'd be willing to undertake.

A sip Keurig Coffee said...

Lucky Hannity wasn't sponsored by a bike maker or the morons would be running over cyclists with their SUV's and posting the videos.

Saskatchewan Speed Wrench said...

We all have our reasons for our decisions, but a 100 mile-a-day-commute is a lot of one's time on earth spent sitting in a depreciating, gas/oil/tire consuming car, and seems part of the problem, not the solution.

Hee Haw the barista said...

"Anonymous Anonymous said...
My motor vehicle commute was typically around a hundred miles American"

I'm thinking you spend a few hours a day in traffic.

I'll pass.

Flyover bike commuter said...

I recently saw the undercarriage on a WWI SE-5. It was beautiful and convinced me that wood could make a viable bike frame as well as an airplane.

James said...

I'm holding out until I can get a Brompton fat tire bike.

leroy said...

Well today's post is certainly a revelation.

Now I know why all day long my dog has been belting out a repurposed version of The Knack's classic lyric: "Oooo you make my motor run, you make my motor run. In Girona."

I can barely hear myself think.

My dog insists that isn't due to the volume of his singing. It's due to the low volume of my thoughts.

Not sure what he means by that or that my thoughts don't go to 11.

BamaPhred said...

DOP
Roy Moore. Bwwwwwwwaaaaaaaa
Are you sure they are not his cousins?
This is the same neck of the woods that gave us RUNEMINADEETCH


Anonymous said...

guessing the motorized bb's have a freewheel or we'ed be seeing the cranks turning as well. the most blatant still looks like the cyclocross race with the rear wheel out of control. the mud should be acting more like a brake and not an accelerator.

JLRB said...

"If this was the case, it would be a disaster for the image of cycling and that's why we have to fight."

And yes, that fox is guarding the chicken coop.

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:05... if you drove 50 miles to a city, you didn't live in a "rural mountain home", you lived in a suburb.

It's fair to point out that the transportation issues are different in the densest urban and truly rural areas and different goals and different solutions are appropriate. But your thinking is really just trying to have your cake and eat it too. Congrats for doing a disservice to both communities you dabble in. Your kids will also no doubt be stuck in the same diaspora--you having never bought into the city and never made a real, sustainable go of the country.

McFly said...

Femke can use my worm gear any time she wants.

JLRB said...

Hey at least the report about the yellow sports car said the driver jumped the curb and called it a crash - not an oopsie

BIKE LANE

Anonymous said...

https://www.theonion.com/study-90-of-bike-accidents-preventable-by-buying-car-1820403123

The onion has a parody of how people look at those on bikes

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Late to the party, I had a very busy day yesterday.

So the Sarasota cop interviewed has the title "Pedestrian Homicide Investigator." And he's going to ticket cyclists and pedestrians thanks to a new government grant. The police always say "no criminality suspected" as long as the driver doesn't flee the scene of the crime and isn't drunk or high. I thought maybe I always misunderstood the definition of "homicide," so I looked it up-

"The deliberate and unlawful killing of one person by another; murder."

Just goes to show how screwed up the world is. Seems like the grant money should be used to make the street safer and the homicide investigator should be investigating homicides.

dancesonpedals said...

When a cyclist goes down, the cops consider it pesticide.