Friday, November 3, 2017

How Much Wood Would A Fredchuck Fred If A Fredchuck Could Ride Wood?

Sorry for the late post!  It's been an exciting morning.  Firstly, my latest Outside column is up and it explores the question of whether or not drop bars are obsolete:


Spoiler alert: no, they're not, but since the Freds don't know how to use them they might as well be.

Secondly, I was traipsing out of my building this morning when I bumped into the UPS guy who had a giant package (gigglechortle) for me:


Was it...could it be...?


Oh yeah:


I will say one thing, which is that it was most fastidiously-packed bicycle I've ever taken delivery of, and I've received my share.  Seriously, they're not messing around.  However, it is equipped with an electronic transmission, which is something I've never owned, and while plugging the battery in was easy enough I have no goddamn idea how to charge the thing:


Finally I gave up and decided to get back to it later, and that's when I found this:


That's why you should always take an extra thirty seconds to actually see what's inside the box.

Anyway, now I have to decide whether to bring this bike down to the Philly Bike Expo this weekend and do some kinda road ride, or stick to my original plan and do the dirt ride.  (The Renovo has 23mm tires, which apparently still exist, and I doubt it has the clearance for much more than that.)

Finally, a number of commenters have asked me why I haven't mentioned what happened on the West Side Greenway bike path on Tuesday, and in case you missed it I did in fact write about it for The Washington Post:
Based on my previous experience writing for them I know all too well not to read the comments.

And with that, I release you into the weekend.  Ride safe and enjoy, and if you find yourself at the Philly Bike Expo be sure to say hello.

XOXO,


--Wildcat Rock Machine



46 comments:

Pist Off said...

Pumping into the UPS guy and his huge package?
Chortle

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Podio on a Friday? Scranus!

Got Wood?

Pist Off said...

Also, the WaPo column was excellent. What cycling commuter would be surprised if that truck attack was just road rage?

bad boy of the south said...

Pumped into the UPS guy?tire pumped I hope.

Anonymous said...

Woohoo!! P_odium?!?!

Anonymous said...

i would like a wooden podium

bieks said...

I rarely put my bike on the back of the car, but I now realize the drops get in the way of my wife's bike more often than I make use of them. Plus, a dorky mirror on bullhorn bar might have got my bike some notoriety on this blog back in '07.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice,
You got alot on your plate. New H-bar and now the long-awaited-for wood bike. Have fun.

bad boy of the south said...

Good luck with your new electric wooden bicycle. don't ride in puddles.the frame will swell and you'll get shocked.

N/A said...

A wood bike that requires batteries. Seems kinda' fucky, to me. And maxing out at 23mm makes a bike a no-go, regardless of its shiftways.

I'm not a Fredly weight weenie, but I'm curious about how much a woody bike weighs.



And reading the comments on any bike-related article, particularly if the words "road" or "helmet" appear, is just a horrible idea. You're better off slamming your chamois-tackle in the door of your leased Hyundai.

Fred McFredly said...

"Time to Drop the Drops?"

Aaah, employing the well used Betteridge's law of headlines

Spokey said...

well golly gee sarge

this is just like a yummy mid-afternoon snack

livingjetlag said...

You know, you can increase the tire clearance with a bit of sandpaper in about fifteen minutes.

N/A said...

Oh man, a thought occurs to me: You know that affectation the Freds have, wherein any time they aren't pedaling their bike, they're draping a leg/squatting across the top tube? On a woody bike, you have to be careful doing that or you may catch a splinter in your scranus.

Anonymous said...

They say you learn something new everyday. Today, I learned chamois-tackle. Today is a good day.

Grump said...

Snobby, after you received your package, did you yell to your wife (so that all your neighbors could hear)...."Honey, look at this, I finally got some wood".

Anonymous said...

I'd be interested in hearing about the metal to wood connections on the Renovo. I have piles of old bike frames that I intend to incorporate into some new chairs.

In addition to your Post piece, Yonah Freemark's op-ed in the Times was pretty good as well... for those who might have missed it:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/03/opinion/terrorism-transportation-infrastructure.html

Anonymous said...

Re the Washington Compost piece:

Granted the greenway terror victims would have been just as dead at the hands of some goober in a lifted F-Shitfifty. But if the aforementioned goobers have been beheading the unfaithful and otherwise wholesale slaughtering them, committing so-called "honor killings" of women suspected of whatever, throwing folks off tall buildings, stoning those who have garnered their disapproval, denying women the right to drive, leave the home unescorted or vote, or any number of behaviors endorsed by the greenway terrorist, it hasn't been reported by the media at large. And make no mistake-The terrorist and his comrades in jihad want desperately to visit these atrocities upon We the People.

JLRB said...

However, this is cycling we're talking about, and in practice here's the fact of the matter: the only thing more underutilized than the drop bar is the "off" button on Donald Trump's phone.

So good!

I think you are on to something with the integrated shift/brakes being part of the downfall of better use of the curvey bits on drop bars....

mike w. said...

Eben, do you think you could repost your piece from the Washington Post "Don’t make bicyclists more visible. Make drivers stop hitting them." somewhere that isn't behind a paywall? Thanks!

Blunchbelly said...

Trans alt.,Washington Post,Outside and blog! Kick your feet up and take a break.

Anonymous said...

Hey Snobby … as for the WaPo comments subsequent to your scribbling , not as bad as one might expect.
Sure , many miss the overall point - mostly invoking the all-to-common false equivalency between cars and bikes - but the thread maintains a surprising discipline , perhaps akin to a gran fondo paceline.
Anyways, all I’m sayin’ is thanks for sayin’.
Regards,
Seattle

leroy said...

Well this explains why my dog was doing his Beavis and Butt Head impersonation: "He said morning wood delivery. Heh, heh-heh-heh-heh, heh."

Ride safe all!

And BSNYC - tell WAPO I finally subscribed because they published you. You should get an emolument or something. Heh, heh-heh-heh... oh, never mind. My dog does it better.

bad boy of the south said...

Still have my curly barred bike but it's never been to France,so,no tour this year.

Schisthead said...

Fredchuck Fred sounds like the bad movie hero we need.

American Bike Ninja: Fredchucks of Fury, Scranus of Splinters


NYCHighwheeler said...

Drop bars generally suck for wheelieing, unless you are doing artistic cycling, fixed -gear no brakes style wheelieing.

I think Jones bars might be amazing for wheelies, as well as most other types of riding. I think I might have to hit him up for a pair of barz for the P-far...

Thanks for the many writings Snob. It is a much needed break from, (as well as insight into) the many troubling events of the last few days and years.

Thanks!

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

George Krpan said...

The drop bar is a holy icon and criticizing it is blasphemy and you are a heretic. ; )

Spokey said...

you completely missed one of the more important reasons to use drop bars vs say straight bars.

barcons work much better with drops. i can't imagine trying to shift barcons with a straight bar. probably some idiot would ride up and flip me in to the large chain ring while i'm struggling up a hill. then i'd fall over trying shift back.

Anonymous said...

It seems about that time- married with children, cruising along lifes rutted trail- youre bound to start looking for some new adventure. Whats more adventerous than assembling, mounting, and riding WOOD? We're not here to judge you while you explore new ways to spice up life- it happens to everyone eventually. Just remember: take it slow and breathe deeply

boston's inferiority complex said...

Bike snob has a wood e-bike?

I'll check back again in 3 years and he'll be unironically writing about his weekly George Plimpton memorial rides with David Byrne on a tandem recumbent y-foil.

Nathan Johnson said...

Sweet bike, can’t wait for your thoughts about how it rides, is it durable, fun, etc.
I made the mistake of reading the WaPo comments. I’ll listen next time, Sifu.

mander said...

Eben, thanks for that WaPo piece. You've really been doing great work communicating with people outside the bike nerd bubble... your Outside columns count too.

Accessorize Oneself for Maximum Effect said...

The real question is: does a handcrafed mahagony/oak frame have more or less horizontal stiffness and vertical compliance than say,a fiberboard/plywood-Ikea-quality frame? And do you need to park it near a humidifier?

Batteries or no batteries, this bike needs artisnal hand-carved hardwood derailleur pullies for me to take it seriously.

Saskatchewan Speed Wrench said...

As a Canadian, I wonder if a Renovo is safe to ride not only near water, but in the vicinity of aggressive beaver.

Nicolas Garcia said...

Damn they've actually sent you a 12k USD bike!

N/A said...

I remember an aggressive beaver that I knew back in the 80s. She really appreciated riding a wooden frame.

Beaver Cleaver said...

Jimmy Carter was in a wooden rowboat and was attacked by an aggressive beaver. AGGRESSIVE BEAVER - BEWARE!

BamaPhred said...

They could have named it “The Wynona”

Herschel Raney said...

Well I screwed up and read the comments at WAPO. And now I am punching my sheetrock.

Anonymous said...

Lob, give me the strength to never own a bike that is made of plastic, nor one that needs to be plugged in periodically to function properly.

Stop Me If You Heard This One said...

Q:What did Christ say before coming down from the Cross?

A: DAMN BEAVERS!!!

PUMP STUD said...

You have a pattern of doing the pumping for other men.

Chazu said...

Hey my wife's been riding wood for a while now.

Anonymous said...

This is not all bad; now we can discourage big-gulp throwing, two-ton-truck-driving, horn-blasting dicks by equating them with terrorists. Finally, it's UnAmerican(TM) to harass cyclists! Too soon? I mean, you said it more eloquently, but whatever.

Anonymous said...

This is not all bad; now we can discourage big-gulp throwing, two-ton-truck-driving, horn-blasting dicks by equating them with terrorists. Finally, it's UnAmerican(TM) to harass cyclists! Too soon? I mean, you said it more eloquently, but whatever.