Tuesday, October 3, 2017

This Just In: The Outside Is In!

Sorry for the delay, I was engaged in important and tedious business I can assure you was no fun whatsoever.


I did actually have business to attend to while I was out but I don't have to account for myself to you.



(Spoiler alert: no.)

I should say that it's been a number of years since I last threw my crotch over a cyclocross bike in anger, mostly because I got over driving three hours each way to suck for 45 minutes, but also because yes, it did get a little less hospitable to people like me who really don't give a shit.

In any case, the column is what it is, so make of it what you will.

While I'm plugging myself (gigglechortle), if you enjoy dipshit local news broadcasts about bikes you should check out today's Bike Forecast:


I daresay it's worth it.

And with that, I bid you a-doo for now, and I'll see you back here tomorrow.

I love you,


--Wildcat Rock Machine




26 comments:

Anonymous said...

yahh

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i can't believe it's not butter... i mean better.

Watch and Camera Guy said...

Podium?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Missed it by "that" much, SCRANUS!

Anonymous said...

That was fun to read but now I miss Tilford. I'm really sad now.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...one good thing that came out of all this xross is the abundance of rubber in all sizes. I mean, some of us want to use Magnum rubber... you know, for comfort.

...but joking aside, it's great to have so many options of rubber to chose from. Just 10 years ago, I only had one favorite tire... now I have, like, 2.

1904 Cadardi said...

"If you've never been in a breakaway, carry a sofa down six flights of stairs with a few strangers—it's exactly the same thing."

Brilliant Snob!

Anonymous said...

How many times a day can one shred the Lincoln Tunnel before dying of CO poisoning?

N/A said...

The best thing to come out of cyclocross is beer hand-ups. Before cyclocross, we just called it "stopping for a beer", but "beer hand up" seems way more legit.


The tire thing is pretty awesome though.

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

SLOW LEAK said...

Pffft!

SLOW LEAK said...

Pffft!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus.

BamaPhred said...

Nice read on the cyclo-x, Mr Snob.

janinedm said...

So, I apparently passed the wrong way last night. I had said something along the lines of, "Hi. Hi! Coming up to pass on your left. ...Yeah. Hey...On Your Left." Then I proceeded to shut up and pass, to which I got "YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING!" Then there was a convo with zero value in recounting or in having the first time. Anyway, I dropped her and had to pass her again. (I stop for pedestrians during rush hour because I rather do so as a default reaction rather than an individual judgement. You're not going to see me crying to the Post that there was no time to stop after I hit somebody's grandma.) and she rolled right through them. Because I'm the worst, when I passed I said "Dear madam, wouldst though mind if I should overtake you upon thine left hand side?" For some reason, she told me to go fuck myself. Go figure.

BikeSnobNYC said...

janinedm,

That is brilliant.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

Janinedm,

That's not gonna fit on a shirt. Awesome, though!

Freddy Murcks said...

I stopped 'racing' cyclocross several years ago because I finally came to the realization that I would rather ride my MTB and have fun than pay good money to ride my bike around in a city park with a bunch of flaming assholes and have little to no fun. The fact that I was training harder and doing worse every year in spite of it was sort of secondary, but I did like CX better when it was mostly a bunch of freaks and nobody bothered to take it very seriously. We Americans ruin everything we touch.

Anonymous said...

I would have yelled "Some crazy bitch is trying to pass you, WATCH OUT OR YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY IN A CRASH!"

Of course, when I see salmon I yell "Go back to England!", so there's that.

dancesonpedals said...

Janine-


She was just being a pedantic twat.



What does thou thee thy and thine mean?

The plural of Thou, Thee, Thy and Thine is Ye, You, Your and Yours. Ye, therefore, was always used as the subject. Thine was also used instead of Thy when a word begins with a vowel (as Mine used to be — “Mine eyes have seen the Glory…”).

Flyover bike commuter said...

Nothing speaks to the hearts of Outside readers like barriers to entry. It's only a matter of time 'til the page has links to advertiser'' $2000 entry level CX bikes, $60 dollar socks, $300 skin suits, and $15 a bottle Belgian ales. Mention a $35,000 Toyota SUV (or Subaru Outback) with bike carrier and you're golden.

fourhourerection said...

Man this comment moderation is a pain worse than run-on sentences and pour spelling not to mention i never know if it's worth my time to try for podio

JLRB said...

Here's one extremely meaningless problem with hidden bike motors being a thing. When I get passed I now have a little uncertainty as to whether I am just slow or the passer is moto-cat-6-ing. I know the answer is I am slow, but there is that little bit of doubt. But then the clock doesn't lie ...

Spell Checkr said...

Hey Snob,
Two typos inside that Outside article that I'm pretty sure aren't from your usual stable. "Rember those" and "infections spirit". Three if you count "make due with" but I'm not so sure about that one. I don't really care ... etc etc. I'm just someone whose critique of almost any document rarely gets past typos and grammos and into anything of substance. I see it as a gift. I'd offer to spell-check for you but I imagine there's little time left in those publishing schedules for any more to-ing and fro-ing, plus you can probably figure out I'm not in your time zone. Maybe the oldest offspring could be let out of the Apple factory early some days to help out at home? You're welcome.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

JanineDM for mayor!


vsk

bad boy of the south said...

Huzzah Janinedm! huzzah!
WCRM, I'll bystand at a cross, which I haven't done as of yet,'cause it's too late in scheme of things,to join the fray.