Tuesday, September 12, 2017

A brief dispatch today because of things and the doing of things that I have to do

Further to yesterday's post, in which I mentioned the Freds who went out for hurricane repeats:


A commenter commented thusly:

Bob said...

The bunny hopping Fred in Ukraine kit is apparently Lucas Brunelle.

September 12, 2017 at 6:47 AM

"Ha ha," I thought, until I looked into it, and guess what?



Oh for chrissakes.

Yes, it would appear Brunelle's attention-seeking disorder must have flared up, because prior to that he'd only been stirring up trouble in the suburbs:

A post shared by Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) on

After that I assume they headed over to the mall, where they drew askance glances from patrons for using naughty words while hanging out in the food court.

It's rare that I take the driver's point of view on this blog, but imagine for a moment you're taking the kids to soccer practice in the SUV or whatever it is suburbanites do, only to glance in your mirror and discover mischeivous manboy Lucas Brunelle clinging limpet-like to your Hyundai wearing that stupid camera helmet of his:


Objects in mirror may be dumber than they appear.

In other news, still no word on the wooden bicycle I'm waiting for, though one person on the Twitter had an interesting theory as to why that is:
Finally, a bike that answers the question #whatmaltyourunning?


“The American oak from which Glenmorangie makes its casks is a great wood,” said Renovo founder, Ken Wheeler. “Its engineering properties are ideal for bikes, as hard woods have a high stiffness.

“For us, the only aspect that was different was the shape of the staves, which have a curve to them, and the fact that they were a little damp, after spending years with whisky inside them… which, by the way, made them smell pretty good. Although, we have to admit to whisky fans, the scent has now diminished.”

Now Freds too can experience the pleasure of trying to explain to the arresting officer that they were not in fact drinking.

Finally, Lennard Zinn continues to answer those pressing questions:


Firstly, arguably they should have asked Mario Cipollini instead:


("You know what they say about riders with big shoes, don't you?")

Yes, Mario.  We get it.  They say they have large penises.  Okay?

Secondly, is the person who asked the question actually serious?

Dear Lennard,
I can’t help but notice that some of the taller riders, Chris Froome among them, seem to have unusually big/long feet and shoes. This is not limited to Froome or even riders tall in stature, and it appears to be disproportional. My question is, from a biomechanics and physics standpoint, does this offer riders greater leverage and power with the increased length? If so, would this encourage riders to wear larger shoes than they would off of the bike, given the improvements in stiffness and weight of carbon soles. Finally, should the UCI regulate shoe size “fudging?” (I know that last question might raise the ire of some readers.) Again, I am not signaling out Chris Froome; to me the phenomenon across the peloton raised the question in my head.
— Joe

No, Joe.  No they should not.



27 comments:

Colin NĂ©ber Wilson said...

Podi!?

wle said...

podium, hurricane survivor, atlanta, cat -99, wle.

Anonymous said...

podiating yo

Anonymous said...

pdiating? can't see it!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha. Go ahead and ride in shoes too big for and see how things go...

#whatmaltareyourunning? Ha ha ha - gold. There might be no end to the possibilities with this!

JLRB said...

I came, I laughed, I left

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Abuse of HGH leads to disproportionately large features - feet, jaw, etc... I wouldn't be surprised if whatever state of the art dope they are currently on has similar side effects.

bad boy of the south said...

Oh,stop clowning around.oh yeah,I forgot.ya got a folder.tee hee hee.

grog said...

Just don't do it. That's an arrestable offense.

bad boy of the south said...

What would the woo hoo hoo speed be in a hurricane like Irma?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...what, no mention of the double wood intenders?

“The American oak from which Glenmorangie makes its casks is a great wood,” and “hard woods have a high stiffness."

or

“...the shape of the staves, which have a curve to them" and "the fact that they were a little damp, after spending years with whisky inside them… which, by the way, made them smell pretty good."

Anonymous said...

Hey Lucas, tornados have a lot higher winds than a lousey hurricane, you should head out to tornado alley and see if you can catch one of those waves and make like Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz. Hopefully after that we'll never see you again.

Seattle lone wolf said...

I wish blogspot would show the number of comments pending approval, so we'd know if it's worth a lunge for the line.

BamaPhred said...

Would it be ok to "roll coal" on a skitching LB? Asking for a friend.

Pist Off said...

Lucas should get a helmet-mounted weather station and go storm chasing for the local TV weather teams. The human storm probe.
Probably his only chance to cash in on his brand of stupid.

Hee Haw the barista said...

BIGS HOES

Anonymous said...

seems to me the hurricane category rating system is all wrong, like cat6 does not even exist. i'm no lucas brunelle but find myself cat6 racing regularly.

Anonymous said...

Yawn. Walked the route and still got top 30.

leroy said...

My dog asked me to note that ace cyclist Pee Wee Herman wore huge shoes and his bike is not for sale, Lucas.

Brian said...

I had no idea there was still a "Velo News".

OldSlowGuy said...

According to the USDA Wood Handbook, hickory has a significantly higher elastic modulus and ultimate strength than oak. To quote Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven, "Nothing like a nice piece of hickory".

McFly said...

This is high-larious. Per Stevil per Bike Monkey.

McFly said...

Sorry. Maybe this is it.

John L said...

Great - prepare for shoe doping and the inevitable bevy of UCI regulations stipulating that the shoe size must not deviate more than 22.5% of the measured largest foot. There will also be an iPad based X-ray diffraction app so that commissars can measure athletes on the fly.

janinedm said...

Man, I hate everything when Lucas Brunelle does it. If he served food at a soup kitchen I'd probably be turned off by it. Granted, he'd probably mount a GoPro to the ladle.

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?