Friday, August 25, 2017

Hiatus Interruptus #3:

Hello!

I've been away so long I can hardley remmmember how to tipe or speal.  Nevertheless I'm going to attempt to hold it together for long enough to tell you that my new Outside column is up and available FOR FREE (!) on the World Wide Worldwideweb:


Not only is it a particularly good one*, but it's also based on actual firsthand experience:


So there you go.

Okay, that's enough outta me, now back to the grind:


Your's truley,


--Wildcat Rock Machine



*Oh, who am I kidding?  They're all good, because I am awesome.

76 comments:

Steely Danzig said...

Friday lighthouse porn.

Watch and Camera Guy said...

Podium?

ken e. said...

pode!

1904 Cadardi said...

Dropped in to see if there were any new comments, and what do I find but a whole new articleway.

Thanks Snob!

Seattle lone wolf said...

High5!

N/A said...

#teampasela
Good article in the Outside online magazine, WRM.

They're the best. Good price, last a long time*, look good**, and hold my preferred amount of pressure***. Tough to beat, that.

My bike shop**** doesn't ever carry them either. And I can't be the only retrogrouch in town that orders the damn things.


*unless you run a screw into them.
**must have tan sidewalls. That's key.
***not telling.
****a real LBS. Not just Amazon. I like to show my bike shop some merchandising love when I can.

Anonymous said...

By CHRIS HARNE, KENNETT SQUARE PA. Cycling Enthusiast. Van Dweller & all around good guy.
This year, I have given myself the goal of riding 6,000 miles or more (120 miles per week) and walking 600 miles (12 miles per week). I also decided to post my month results here to encourage others to bicycle and walk a lot of miles as well, as doing so is very good the health.

My results for the first 6 months are:

January, 440 miles bicycling, 58.5 miles walking.
February, 475 miles bicycling, 64.5 miles walking.
March, 609 miles bicycling, 69 miles walking.
April, 699 miles bicycling, 51 miles walking.
May, 1,813 miles bicycling, walking miles unknown.
June, 1,593 miles bicycling, walking miles unknown.
Maximum distance in one day bicycling: 105 miles, July 26.
Maximum distance in one day walking, 13 miles, June 27.

New Bicycling Advocacy Newslist Established

I felt that there was a need for a new Bicycling Advocacy Newslist, so I started one. The purpose is to discuss methods of promoting bicycle use and also to discuss the problems that discourage new cyclists. It's open to everyone, and our strongest policy is to be respectful of each other. Follow the above link if you are interested.

Bill said...

Yukyuk.

bieks said...

Pasellas are awesome. I've got the Tourguards and they were a huge improvement in ride quality over my old tires. Want to try the regular Pasellas next time for an even plusher ride.

bad boy of the south said...

Welcome back to the fold, temporarily.the new article was flat out tready.waiting for hiatus#4

dancesonpedals said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harrumph said...

What self-respecting cyclist would ever resort to: "...bikes with triple chainrings and bar-end shifters..."

Anonymous said...

An overlooked tire I feel:

http://www.nashbar.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/mProduct4_10052_10053_527050_-1_catNav

Lighter and faster than the Pasela, and on sale from currently. Very puncture - resistant. Only complaint is that it's a tight fit; Use soap to make installation easier.

If anybody is interested in learning how to easily manual any bicycle, here is the best technique and teacher I've found after some research:

https://youtu.be/D8a7ZOQSaDo

Or you can make a wooden manual machine... Google it. The trainer is the best way to learn because you learn not to rely on the back brake to keep from looping out. If more cyclists did manuals on the roads we wouldn't be so hated on those roads... think about it.

McFly said...

One certainly cannot beat that price.

Billy said...

Was the point of that post too be as boring as bicycle tires? Snzzzz...

Chief of Staff said...

Billy, Yes it was. The Bard of Gowanus simply can't be a articulate, and amusing, as Donald T all of the time.

Do the Packers and Movers of Bangalore use bicycles to move things?

Actually, anyone is more articulate than The D.

Anonymous said...

Thoughts.......
the first night!!!
I spent my first night in the van last night. it was a new feeling, have you ever felt something you've never felt before? or maybe it brings to mind a distant recognition? that's what it was like. the closest i can come to naming it is to say i felt like a kid in a fort i'd built, hunkered down for the night and my parents didn't know i was there,even though Im parked in their driveway. my cat, Freyja, is adapting well. she was a bit pissed last night when we were driving around, but once we parked she was purring and eating and acting like herself. i opened a bottle of wine i'd been saving for the occasion--a nice chianti, and settled in to read and write. i wrote a response letter to my ex-boyfriend who is doing some time. i guess all that sobriety and time has made him think of me and what we had as not so bad. not that he ever thought it was bad, it just got lost in the shuffle i guess. he's like a twin soul, born only 2 days apart, only a few miles from KENNETT SQUARE PA, both of us with classic aryan features--blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin. me with my punk style mohawk, usually a bright pink,we bring out the desperate romantic in each other, always a poem rather than a picture, a letter surpasses a phone call, and a graveyard the favored meeting place,we sneak in on our bicycles for some privte time. the park be damned!
i sealed the letter and picked up my book "Blue Highways" which i'd started reading last year and put down not due to disinterest, just to soak in it. i think it's a big part of my inspiration to be a van-dweller. it's the america i like to explore when i'm travelling. the slow route, the ghost towns, the forgotten paths.
i feel great today after the first night in the van. i went to bikram yoga, showered, slathered on the coconut oil and headed out for my day, refreshed. alive, arms extended skyward palms up, I shouted IM CHRIS HARNE & I LOVE YOU KENNETT SQUARE !!! ready for my new life.

Anonymous said...

WTF?

Anonymous said...

I need a break. Gotta get away. Escape, escape, escape.

The King of Park Slope said...

Does Outside have an editorial policy against humour?

BikeSnobNYC said...

The King of Park Slope,

Good one.

--Wildcat Etc.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Billy,

Good one.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

MORE BABE

dancesonpedals said...

FLYE SIXE

Schisthead said...

Best part: Paselas come in the 27 inch sizeway.
Every co-op wheel bin is now your oyster.

Check mate.

Rapha "a wholly owned subsidiary of the Walton family" Kramden said...

Anonymous @2:41 said "Only complaint is that it's a tight fit; Use soap to make installation easier."

Funny, Anon. That's pretty much the same advice I got from your mother last night.

The Braves Lose Again said...

Soap? Anon's mom said she preferred Polywater.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Aluminum rim brake tracks make a mess of gumwall tires if you ride in the rain, otherwise I like them.

Anonymous said...

This blog feels like the dog in a divorce. He comes to see us less and less...

N/A said...

Chris Harne: Get your own blog, please, it would make it easier for us to ignore you. Thanks.

Lady Love said...

This Chris Harne makes me miss Ted K. even more.

Anonymous said...

Ex-boyfriend, cat, wine, yoga, coconut oil slathering? Chris is a guy?

Anonymous said...

I still instinctively gravitate to this place, even though I do not think it is the best. I don’t even think it’s really all that great here,this "snob" thing. I just know a lot of people on here and I can kinda get comfortable for awhile. Then I need to go. This time I’m already planning to leave.So Boom !!! CHRIS HARNE from KENNETT SQUARE PA is moving on. I’ll have a lot more to say about that. Here, or somewhere, or something. Soon. Or some time. It’s on !

Anonymous said...

Huh?

Anonymous said...

coconut oil slathering ? awwww shit, my sides are hurting. hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

RE: Outside article

.... I could still see Alexander Hamilton staring smugly back at me through the gash...

Made me think of how one of those words is used colloquially - good reason to keep the lights off.

1904 Cadardi said...

While the Paselas sound nice, Continental is getting my tire dollars right now because they seem to be pretty durable, are easily available and have consistent quality (at least the German made tires). Boring is the true path to tire enlightenment.

At least you got your ride in!

BamaPhred said...

Damn. I'm gonna miss CHRIS HARNE about like I miss Shammy Juice.

McFly said...

I just pulled the trigger on not one but two Continental Ultrasport II 700 x 28C for the staggering price of $31.92.

The older I get the cheaper I get.

Louis Tully said...

... I could still see Alexander Hamilton staring smugly back at me through the gash.

Wait, They pay You now?

I need to get out more.

BikeSnobNYC said...

1904,

I'm also a fan of the Gatorskins, I use them on my pavement bike.

--Wildcat Etc.

Dooth said...

Sweetness, the Vittoria Open Pave CG 700 x 27C. No longer available, but I have four fresh folded ones in their boxes. When I wear them out, I'll write an ode and tears will fall on my pen. My Scranus will know they're gone.

Anonymous said...

Quite talking about Paselas (the unbelted ones anyway). They'll get trendy and then expensive. Soon, I'll have to buy them from some curated, bespoke bike shop cafe tapas bar.

Sebastian Gorka said...

Hello I must be going.

bad boy of the south said...

still no strava for me.

bad boy of the south said...

hang in there,texas .

Anonymous said...

Two wheels, a meandering pace, and a lot of sideways glances are the keys to open up a door and see a new place in a different light. It’s almostfall. The calendar didn’t decide this, but clear as anything, this is the first fall day I’ve seen this year. The sun is warm, and the air is cool. The night goes from cool to cold. The storm yesterday dropped a lot of leaves. The air has gone from soup to ice cream.

Ride your bicycle. If you have never experienced the satisfaction of rolling any distance on a bicycle, there can be only one reason. You must need a tune up. Send me pictures, and I’ll send ideas. I got a blanket for a dollar, and it is worth every single bit of a full, uncontested damn. Let’s all get rolling and fall down in the grass.

BamaPhred said...

I got the SRV Texas Flood feels.

leroy said...

My dog won't tell me what pressure he's running, but he had change for the air hose.

Anonymous said...

It's not my business to talk about, but that guy who was puking and yelling is dead. He was yelling a lot he was going to do it, but he got hit by a car instead. I mostly care how Jen feels about that. She is upset, but she has mixed feelings. She doesn't believe in being dead.

Bill said...

Go jump in a lake, ex blogger. I miss you.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back!

Anonymous said...

I just got finished spending a lot of my years drinking. I fully intend to be finished with that chapter. I started drinking late in high school, and got off to a roaring start without realizing exactly what I was doing. I had no regular supply, so I bought in bulk when possible. Jugs of liquor. Jugs of rum. I had no gauge for normal amounts to buy or drink. Over time, every situation and activity became a drinking occasion. Getting plastered felt something like taking a deep breath. I quit several times - once for over six months - but otherwise only had the odd days off here and there.
C. H.

Anonymous said...

The sun is going down. My windows are down. There’s a Nat song coming out of my speakers. On shuffle. A one-in-8,000-something chance. I’m daydreaming about piercings and face tattoos. My heart is beating happily, and I grin to be young and strong. School and bicycles.

About my CrunkCycle. Mechanically, it’s terrible. An awful bicycle. In terms of comfort: i has it. CrCy puts the rider in a very upright seating position. I stand nearly 7 feet tall, sometimes gliding at 20 miles per hour. In terms of a thick ridiculousness, I am riding a work in progress with irons in the fire. Aspects of folly revealed:

1) Frame pulls to the right. No hands = no fun
2) Front Bontrager “Hard Case” tire thumps when ridden, due to previous skidding (not by me).
3) Rear brake is set up poorly and is of mediocre quality.
4) Used and unlined housing causes poor shifting. Even friction shifting feels kludgy.
5) Rear rack does not have long enough stays to allow for milk crate attachment. As such, Laugh-a-Lot bear cannot ride with me to class.
6) Worn out high gear on the cassette.
7) Current saddle is of a design inappropriate for an upright riding position.
8) Cheap bottom bracket cannot be adjusted to my satisfaction, even with new grease.

Foremost, this bicycle is not nearly as flamboyantly silly as I would like.

Next on the adgenda is to strap a large light-up Easter bunny to the front. A lawn ornament with vacant eyes and a somewhat deranged toothy smile. If you know me personally, you might remember this bunny from the past.
Chris.

Nick Danger said...

It all came rushing back, like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist.

bad boy of the south said...

Say hi to the sandman while you're up there .just think what might have been.

JLRB said...

Supposed to ride the epic blah blah blah century with 11,000 feet of climb in two less than two weeks - instead of "training" this past weekend a took my son fishing. Fred No More.

Gary said...

must be nice to have your smallest bill as a 10

janinedm said...

Hmm. I don't usually come here a lot during hiatuses. Does it always become a weird poetry/diary thing in the comments with Leroy's dog trying to pretend things are normal?

Anyway, I'm staying with my square taper and a crank so standard that i don't think it was designed so much as it was the outcome of someone asked to draw a picture of a crank.

I'm now brave enough to share why I considered changing my crank to begin with. I wanted to re-paint the frame, and since I was taking the entire thing apart i could consider each part for possible replacement. Anyway, here's my paint job. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155587259812889&l=24f74e1172 This is my favorite bike in the winter when it's so cold that the hub on my Workcycle gets stiff, so i think it will cheer me up when everything is grey. I mean, it's not the most utilitarian thing I've ever done but whatever. The art project cost me $50 and the new bike parts + service look like they'll put me out ~$200 (with tax).

I know. Instead of putting $250 into a solid bike that i like, it would have been smarter to buy a whole new bike for a couple of grand. Save your wisdom.

N/A said...

Did you paint the frame yourself?

Any bike you like riding is worth spending money to make even more to your liking. BikeForum knowitalls can suck it.

1904 Cadardi said...

janinedm,

Nothing wrong with square taper cranks. It's a good, solid, reliable interface and gives you the freedom to run an unsealed ball bearing bottom bracket or a sealed cartridge unit, both of which can be long lasting and quite.

And your paint job: flowers! Pretty and cool.

But finally, spending $250 on a bike you like versus a couple of grand on a new one? Is that even an option? Save your money and keep the one you like. Someone said inanimate objects don't have souls, but by using and caring for them, you store some of yours there. If that bike is going to be vessel for a piece of your soul, why not make it look good and work well.

(and, yeah, I don't get the stream of unconsciousness either. I'm taking Leroy's dog's approach)

janinedm said...

Yeah. I found a powder coat made specifically for bikes called spray.bikes. $15 for the yellow. $15 for a clear top coat $20 on rose car decals. But man, this is why I wanted to try to do it myself. I knew replacing the crank on a 20+ year old bike would come somewhere between "when I feel like it" and "after I'm done with these dentist's Treks" in terms of priority. I mean they like me and they're good mechanics, but I'm not under the impression that I'm an economic priority.

N/A said...

Cool, the yellow is a good color.
It's always nice working on a clean/freshly painted bike.

Keep posting about your build, it gives us regulars something to read besides that clown's imaginary tales about his van or boat or whatever.

Anonymous said...

$60 Trike. Next Chapter Starts Now.

I thought I was walking into the ghetto to give repair advice or estimates for a trike. An adult tricycle. A customer at the shop asked if I would do this, and somehow it turned into a thing that was definitely happening. I'm not good weaseling out of things, but this time it was to my severe benefit.

It was his father's trike, and his father passed away last year. He wanted someone to take care of it. He wanted $100 for it.

I am the right man. I have wanted a trike for years. I've come close to ordering a brand new one, but decided it would be a cop out. I didn't want a brand new shiny trike. Clean new stuff isn't really my bag.

The trike is crunk. Everything is covered in rust. But everything moves, and the tires hold air. It's rideable. I offered him $60. He accepted the offer and reminded me that he really just wanted someone to take care of it in the memory of his father. I rode away with the agreement I'd give him the $60 later. He was a good guy, and he knows where I work.

My cup runeth over. Seldom have I been as happy as I was riding that trike around West Philly. Mi amor, baby. I can't believe I waited until now to own a big ridiculous tricycle. This was the last ingredient I needed to transform myself into the character I picture in my head. I am now a rolling caricature of myself. Silly has reached a fever pitch.
C. H.

PG Wodehouse said...

I enjoy a good time as much as the next fellow, but I think you make yourself conspicuous lobbing soft-boiled eggs at the electric fan,

Anonymous said...

Post boycott.

Anonymous said...

^= Paradox
C.H.

dancesonpedals said...

Janine-

Looking at that frame, I'd say you had 250 dollars worth of fun.

Days Gone Past said...

PG Wodehouse @ 1004 - Potato Salad works great.

One summer I attended a bachelor party held in a private room on the second floor of a bar. There was a big exhaust fan built into a wall and there was this big tub of potato salad. Boys being boys somewhere along the line someone flipped a forkful into the fan, which made a loud "zap" sound. In no time flat entire handfuls of potato salad were being heaved into the fan. When I left I discovered that cars were parked directly under where the fan was. They looked like they were covered in snow. Laughed so hard I was crying. Ah, the days of my youth.

The Ghost of Vincent Van Gogh said...

Janine - Banana yellow frame painter and two fisted drinker on the roof of the MET.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I ride a trike. Of course it's a recumbent one though. I have found in my experience that yes trikes are crunk.

Anonymous said...

Sold a Schwinn, baby!
I'm working a little bit late at the shop. I sold a used bicycle to a customer with a lot of questions. I'm in friendly mechanic mode. We're talking about how to ride and how awesome riding is. Bicycles are the best things ever, and I think it's obvious how enthusiastic I am about bicycles when I have conversations like this with a customer. I want everyone to get a decent bicycle and see how easy life can be. yes, a recumbent trike also fits the "crunk" lifestyle.

Posted by Chris Harne

JLRB said...

I normally don't give a sheet what anyone else rides or wears while riding but something about a dude on an e-bike in full Fred kit is just too much

Anonymous said...

Trike Life.
"Brother, I gotta tell you. That bike is extremely gangster."

Homeless guys in Clark Park love my trike. I was chilling out on the trike and watching Evan juggle. The usual gang was hanging out by the statue drinking morning beers. I've been cruising around on the trike, and I found Evan at the coffee shop a couple hours ago.

Life is complete now. Ever since I got the trike, everything is calm and perfect. I ride around wearing my party socks and any other colorful garments I choose to don. As I went through the intersection at 46th and Spruce, I got a great response to this. Explosive laughter from an open car window. That's what I'm talking about.

I've gotten many compliments on the trike. Trikes are silly and they have a lot of potential. Cargo capacity; ground effects. I have ideas on how to improve my ride. I want a stereo. I want a dubstep-blasting trike.

I convinced Kristin to come over. We didn't venture far. I took a ten-minute break to pick up Chinese food. I took the trike.

Trike life is good.
Chris.

عبده العمراوى said...

شركة تنظيف منازل بجازان
شركة عزل اسطح بالدمام

Anonymous said...

Who Knows? Soylent Green Might Be the Answer
Here we go now. Once again, a couple weeks ago I quit my job and dragged my ass back home. Even though I live in the crappiest trailer park in Florida, it is MY trailer park and the squirrels really missed me. Not due to my charming personality, but because of the raw peanuts in the shell that I get from the Winn Dixie. Even as I type here at a sublime sundown, they gather outside the door screaming out their demand for more peanuts, but I ran out of peanuts at the noon feeding and I really don't feel good about this. I'm too drunk to drive and that means I am WAY too drunk to ride my bicycle. But these are some scary squirrels. M. Night Shyamalan (an obviously made up name) could really do something with this scene.

Saurians
But on a groovier, more better Audubon note, there are two birds who have joined the fray. I think they are Steller's Jays but one looks like what we would call a red cardinal and the other one is the same thing but blue. Just beautiful birds but also pretty pissed about the lack of sundown peanuts. Birds are, after all, the last living relatives of the dinosaurs. I honestly don't know how I get into these jams.

Gathering of the Gloom
Listen: I spend a whole lot of time on the road, chewing on rolaids and and battling motel maids, as some poet once said. Plus there are prostitutes (the friendliest appellation I can apply to what they really are) and I have a disturbing habit of, when in my cups, as we say, engaging them and getting into grandfatherly conversations. Thirty years ago I wasn't a Grandpa but now I am and so I often find myself giving them money just to go away. I got a better deal thirty years ago.

And Yet...
All of my bicycles are done. Built and ready. And the money I give those lost girls ain't peanuts, but, having known the freedom and pain of having nothing, I like to hand out a little surprise once in awhile. The other day, just before I realized I was losing my mind and it was time to head out fast for the home fires, I went to the ATM and got out five twenty dollar bills. I roamed the neighborhood of the motel I was at in Sarasota, handing them out. You would think I had cured cancer, or brought back a dead relative when you saw the expressions that rewarded my gift of a lousy twenty dollar bill. I can't recommend it enough. I know my readers and I know that every one of you can afford to take out a hundred dollars every other month and hand out five random twenty dollar bills.

I don't make a ceremony of it. I just hand them the twenty and get away as fast as possible. But I almost always hear “God Bless You Sir!” as I pedal or stride or drive away. I hope that Fucker is listening. He better be, if he wants to get a twenty when we finally bump into each other.

It Helps If You Are Crazy
Feel the darkness dwelling in my soul? I am sorry for that. I have been home almost three weeks and the treasury is seriously depleted. I gotta go back out there. All three bicycles are built and I have not, in three weeks, pedaled a dozen miles. OK, maybe fifty. This bodes not well for the Trailer Park Cyclist.

But what of that? All three bicycles are built and ready. Little Miss Dangerous is ready to go. So whatever else happens, I at least have my righteous steed, hand built by me my ownself and with that knowledge I know it will all work out.


Plus, there is still enough daylight to pedal to the Winn Dixie for another pound of peanuts, and maybe a little rum. Hell