Wait, is it really Thursday already?

Sorry I'm late, but you have no idea what I'm dealing with.

I'm not saying I'm dealing with a lot, because I'm not, I'm just saying you actually have no idea because you never think to ask:

Here's what he's writing, by the way:

Hey, therapy's expensive, but it's worth it.

Anyway, I doubt you even miss me at this point, since: 1) you take me for granted; and B) I have a whole other blog now.

And that's not even counting my weekly column at Outside, the next installment of which should materialize imminently.

Speaking of bullshit, remember how Andrew Talansky (currently 41st on the CG) was training with a for the Tour de France with a brain-zapper?

(I am a hyperlink, click on me for the article.)

Well now Chris Froome is wearing a performance-enhancing septum ring:

Chris Froome is wearing a special 'nose ring' to gain an edge over his rivals https://t.co/2U1fEwF3O1 pic.twitter.com/9r1QgopXu3

— Business Insider (@businessinsider) July 13, 2017

At this year's Tour, Froome has been seen wearing a nasal dilator called the Turbine. The three-time race winner has been using it for a while. Riders are allowed to wear it in competition, according to the UCI, but we've seen Froome use it only after racing during his cooldown.

The company says on its website that the Turbine is "proven in a clinical trial to increase air flow through the nose by an average of 38%." 

Here are some of the research notes taken during that clinical trial:

Thinking of trying a Turbine for yourself?  The "starter kit" is only $19.95:

On one hand, twenty bucks isn't a lot of money in the context of Fredly performance-enhancement.  On the other hand, it's a piece of fucking plastic you stick up your nose.  Also, in a stroke of pure genius, you have to keep buying new ones.  Just read the FAQ:

HOW LONG DOES EACH TURBINE LAST?

Each device is recommended for use up to 10 times. A single pack comes with three devices.

Amazing.

And why do you have to replace it?  Because accumulating bacteria could make you die:

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE TURBINE AFTER 10 USES?

Testing has shown that to optimise the performance of the device, comfort and fit, Turbine should be replaced after 10 uses.
While Turbine may appear fit for use beyond 10 uses, optimal device performance cannot be guaranteed because:
1. Of the risk of bacteria accumulation and the maintenance of hygiene standards.
2. The device may discolour or the ultra-soft polymer may begin to stiffen affecting comfort.
3. The dilation mechanism will wear and may not hold its dilation effectively.

That's why I'm getting in on the act and selling an aftermarket system to keep your Turbine running longer:

Just keep in mind if the ultra-soft polymer gets too stiff it could snap and you could inhale the Turbine during competition, resulting in death--or worse, a diminished placing in the Gran Fondo or other targeted event.

I'm just waiting for Mario Cipollini to officially enter the performance-enhancing insertable market:

("Mine is similar, but for the butt.")

Lastly, you'll no doubt be delighted to learn the fixie and/or singlespeed as branding exercise refuses to die, and the "L Train Commuter" is proof:

(Via @snacksmoncayo)

Brilliant was inspired to build this bicycle after hearing news that the NYC Subway's notoriously unreliable L-Train is going down for 15 months of service, leaving many Brooklynites without their main artery into the city. With this limited edition bike, they set out to create the ultimate commuter bicycle for a seamless borough-to-borough, city ride. Even the paint options have a Brooklyn story to tell; a subway grey in tribute to the train, or a rich dark blue inspired by the Hudson river crossing. 

That's right: it's the first-ever dedicated subway service change bike.

Just don't try to use it in conjunction with any other subway line outage our you'll void the warranty.

Also, once L train service resumes you should discard the bike immediately, just like a Turbine schnoz ring after the 10th use.

See you tomorrow, and more punctually I hope.