Friday, July 14, 2017

BSNY Friday Fun Self-Promotion!

Good morning!

You've had a long week, I've had a long week, so I'm going to spare you the quiz and dismiss you early.

But first, click on over to Outside and read my latest column, which is all about using your bike to do stuff:



Even the most "epic" Fondo, gravel-grinder, or bikepacking expedition isn't so much a feat as it is a vacation, and the true cycling accomplishment is Getting Shit Done.

And if you're not tired of me yet (as if), when you're done with that you can hop on over to the Bike Forecast and read all about how I nearly died of heatstroke in a botched attempt at day-drinking:


Notice the deer is wearing one of those performance-enhancing ear tags:


Speaking of the Turbine (as I was yesterday), do you notice anything?:

No?  Look closer:


Here's a pop quiz:

The Turbine nasal-dilating athletic performance system resembles:

--A penis
--A uterus and ovaries
--The Ebola virus
--All of the above

Small, medium, and large sizes indeed.

Okay, you're now free to go.  Enjoy the weekend, ride safe, and enjoy riding safely this weekend.

Yours and so forth,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay!

Bamaphred said...

Podiodio and read it!

Anonymous said...

podiddly and i read it too!

EricBikeCO said...

4th and I read THREE days of posts.

BamaPhred said...

Everyone must have wrecked at the start. Enjoyed the utility cycling piece in Outside, Bike Forecast was cool. Are the ear tags to denote neutered deer?
Although many days the NYC and Trumpland forecasts are the same, ours are always hot, with a side of hot. Enjoy the cool day.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Won't the Turbine nose expander stretch out your nostrils, leaving them saggy and droopy?

Who wants that?

boys on the hoods said...

Top Ten!!!

Seattle lone wolf said...

Getting ready for the big annual Seattle to Portland (STP) event ride this weekend. Just finished packing my briefcase of courage.

Kenny Banya said...

top ten, I'll take it.

The King of Park Slope said...

"... fighting the urge yell "Go fuck yourself!" ..."

How high up the Outside writer's hierarchy does one have to be before they assign you a copy editor?

N/A said...

Nice Outside article, Wildcat.
I'm now off to read about your day drinking, as a bike ride/beer drinking collabo is right in my wheelhouse.

bad boy of the south said...

I utilized my time and read your posts and article and still made it under twenteen.enjoy the suds!

sTONEdEADLAND said...

I think "Deer Face" could have been a possible answer to the question.

Steely Danzig said...

Is it possible to attach an Extra-Cycle to a Y-Bike? That would be beautiful. Still waiting for the return of the "Cockie" awards. Vive le bar ends!

Freedom Fries with Ketchup said...

Finished wading through War & Peace (Russian authors sure can pontificate), weeded the weed garden (each individual can have 12 plants here in Califunya), brushed the GF's teeth (I'm not saying with what), started watching the Bastille Day Stage (will a citizen of the nation that gave us Freedom Fries win?). And somehow I'm still in the top 20!!! Merde! Meanwhile, our Fearless Leader is over in Freedom Friesville and he says their President's wife is hot, or did he say "hot, hot" - maybe he'll enter her in one of his beauty pageants. So far no media reports of him grabbing her by a piece of anatomy, and if there were, it would be Fake News anyway. National holiday in France today, maybe The Donald can squeeze in a round of holiday golf.

Drock said...

Poka dots in my sleep, poka dots on the tv, poka dots on my kids face, damn what's with all the poka dots?

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but the last time I attended one of my dog's karaoke parties, I woke up with one of those performance enhancing ear tags.

My dog said I won it, but my memory of the evening is a little fuzzy.

Ride safe all!

dancesonpedals said...

Forget your nose getting baggy... if you're not careful, your whole face can turn baggy

Anonymous said...

Hey, that is the first Outside article I have ever read that didn't suck! You truly are making the world a better place.

grog said...

Recumbabe would look good in an ear tag.
RIDE NICE

Likes a Nice Rack said...

No ear tag for me! I'm going to buck the trend.

Steely Danzig said...

All those kids in the bucket of the cargo bike look big enough to be riding their own bikes. I guess they would be tough to wrangle and keep from riding into traffic, not to mention lost suburban street cred. I bet the kids all have last names for first names...and at least on named Liam.

Anonymous said...

Another benefit of rehabilitating that forgotten 26" hardtail for cargo and everyday work... really good tires can be had for like $9. It's going to be some time until 27.5+ tires are in that price range-- ie. when the norm becomes 36ers or maybe swings back to 26".

Barney said...

Actually looks more like a baboon's face

Spokey said...

finally

baker's 2 dozen podium


and after a long dry spell, got 100% on the quiz.

not sure this counts. sitting here watching tdf. but i did pedal to princess' house to babysit.

Greatest Commenter In Chief said...

So few comments. Fake blog. Sad.

wishiwasmerckx said...

What I learned from today's TdF:

Tony Martin and Dan Martin are NOT one and the same person. Tony used to ride for Quick-Step, Dan now rides for Quick-Step.

I am told that their grandfather, Martin Martin, was the best cyclist of them all...

Anonymous said...

jesus,this has become totalky shiite.

JLRB said...

It's a fine line between influencer and influenza

BamaPhred said...

Ha what a hoot. They really are riding around in pickups shooting doe deer in Hastings on Hudson. With a tranquilizer dart, that is. Then injecting it with a birth control compound and tagging it with the yellow ear tag. So now you know. News articles didn't say anything about slapping a Trump sticker on their hindquarters.

Anonymous said...

How high up the Outside writer's hierarchy does one have to be before they assign ONE a copy editor?

Anonymous said...

Looks like an IUD

Cat 404 e-Racer said...

Me predicting Knobby covers Urán, Urán's French tour today. Velowpneus actually commented on his hairstyle change today.
#whatpressureareyouexerting

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