Tuesday, June 20, 2017

I may need to Kickstart myself some dignity.

Further to yesterday's post on the subject of the Brompton World Championships, if you're the one (1) person who wanted actual details about the actual race, I'm pleased to report that I've received a press release from Brompton which includes photos of the starting lineup:


The pointy end of the race, which I was nowhere near, hence my lack of a blow-by-blow account:


The finishing sprint:


The women's podium:



And the names of the victors in both the men's:

With a number of previous Brompton World Championship USA winners participating in the event, it was always going to be an exciting race. The battle for the finish line was intense, with 2015 USA Brompton Champion, Dave Mackay, and Victor Gras, a talented New York cyclist who placed second in the recent Grand Fondo New York, going head-to-head in a sprint finish. Dave took the win with a late surge of power, gaining just over a bike length by the line.

And women's categories:

New contender, Kristin Negele, took the women’s title and the 2011 USA women’s champion, Julie Secor, came third. The female and male champions both win flights to the UK and entry to participate in the Brompton World Championship final in London. The team event, sponsored by Brooks England, was convincingly won by the Prospect Park Pelicans, with the Philadelphia Fliers coming second and the Brompton NYC team coming in third.

So there you go.

I knew if I didn't do my job Brompton would eventually do it for me.

Oh, and one amateur photographer was kind enough to forward along some action shots of your's truley.  Notice my face is extremely flushed from the heat:


Fortunately when the man with the ices cart came by moments before the start I joined my kids in yelling "PLEEEASE!!!" until my wife finally bought us all some, and if it wasn't for that pre-race cup of frosty rainbow goodness I'd almost certainly have left in an ambulance.

Also, while on the surface the Brompton race would appear to be something of a novelty, it was in many ways like any of the more "serious" races in which I've participated over the years.  For example, like any Fred, after a race I'd always spend lots of time scouring the Internet for pictures of myself only to be deeply embarrassed by the results.  Sure, I may have felt cool at the time, but the photos invariably reveal that I was more schmo than pro.  Similarly, in this case, while everyone else looked dapper and composed:


I looked like a total schlub:


Not only am I about to lose my shorts:


But I'm also perspiring profusely in my tramp stamp area:


And speaking of tattoos, yes, I do realize I have one on my leg, and yes, I also realize it looks like one you'd find on the sorts of people who wear jorts to the water park.

It is what it is.

But don't feel bad for me, feel bad for Brompton, because that sound you hear is a bunch of people folding theirs up and consigning them to the closet forever after seeing those photos.

On the plus side, I may be able to get a lucrative automotive endorsement deal after all of this:


In other news, here's one of the most grandiose Kickstarter videos I've ever seen, and it's for...a helmet mirror:



Mind you, I have nothing against helmet mirrors.  In fact, given what's been going on here in New York recently I'd say they're probably a hell of a lot more important than helmets:


Though perhaps not quite as important as brakes:


But that's another discussion.

I do confess I've never actually used a helmet mirror while cycling, probably because I suffer from the distorted sense of aesthetics that caused me to get a leg tattoo all those years back, but a shatter- and vibration-proof rear-view mirror that clips to pretty much anything seems like a good idea to me.

However, I'll defer to people who actually use them as to whether or not this is the case.  (But please don't then go on about your damn recumbent--though feel free to weigh in on whether or not a recumbent-specific mirror that attaches to a beard is a good idea.)

And in other Kickstarting news, here's someone who thinks triathletes can Go Fit Themselves:



Here's his motivation:


"Every day I'm contacted by triathletes from around the world who simply want to get comfortable on their bike."

Silly triathletes.  How can you ever be truly comfortable on this?


That's like a folding bike rider consulting an expert on how to look dignified.

It just ain't gonna happen.

But this particular bike fitter is also a prop comic:


"...she'd been assured by somebody that these aerobars were going to meet her needs.  Quite frankly..."

[Pushes red button]

BZZZZZ: That was bullshit!

Wow.  He should totally Kickstart an aerobar attachment for that button.

Of course, triathlon equipment arguably lends itself just as well to prop comedy as a novelty buzzer:


And while I'm not particularly moved by this project I would totally fund a triathlete intervention video series that consisted entirely of scenes like this:



And yes, I realize full well the irony of my making fun of triathletes:



Hey, I shattered my glass house years ago.  At this point what do I have left to lose?

50 comments:

Will Pipho said...

First scranus!

bad boy of the sooth said...

Mornin'y'all.

Anonymous said...

Brompton Men's Race Results

https://www.dropbox.com/s/lfv8itcxq0tv87t/Brompton%20Male%20Results-Laps.pdf?dl=0

bad boy of the sooth said...

No shame, wildcat.

Steely Danzig said...

I saw a guy on a beach cruiser yesterday. It had the huge, swept back handlebars with...bar ends. Epic. Makes me pine for the Cockpit of the Year Awards.
P.S. Rider was utilizing the bar ends.

Anonymous said...

farts

janinedm said...

...are neck ties compulsory? Because I think a bow tie would be the look for racing, the more I think about it.

dancesonpedals said...

No one under 70 is allowed to wear a bow tie.

N/A said...

You were wearing 1/2 a monkey suit while racing in the summer, no shame in sweating.



Those socks, though...

ken e. said...

present!

janinedm said...

@dop http://www.getkempt.com/media/article_content/image/1201jones2.jpg

John Michael Swartz said...

Wait, did anybody else notice this? http://photo.johnmichaelswartz.com/BSNYC_biketit.jpg

You're welcome.

Charles Young said...

Shocked Brompton didn't limit the contestants to flat pedals. I noticed the only guy in the lead pack with clipless was in third.

Joe said...

I can't find the results on USA Cycling.

Anonymous said...

That 1st place Lady Bromptonette is quite fetching...

"Fold here often?"

Chazu said...

USDA Grade A Blogging.

nahmean said...

WRM, if you look carefully at the pics of you vs the winners, you may notice one major difference besides your place in the race: you look like you're having fun.

Freddy Murcks said...

Snob - I believe it was you who inspired my attitude towards racing. Pass/Fail. Congratulations, you passed. 'Winning' would require too much effort and what's the point in that?

I am going to play hookey from the 'race' that I was supposed to do this evening and take my dogs for a walk instead. That is its own form of winning.

Seattle lone wolf said...

Helmet / eyeglass mirrors are awesome once you get used to them.

Seattle lone wolf said...

But yeah, they do look dorky.

dancesonpedals said...

Janine-

Harrison Ford is 74. I rest my case.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Agreed. Helment/ eyeglass mirrors are great. And yes it does take a little to get used to. I have used ones that are helment specific and the glasses clip on version. They all work fine on upright bikes.

However since you did ask about recumbent specific mirrors suitable for beard attachment may I offer some insight. I believe without using an overabundance of mustache wax I don't see how the beard hairs would be anywhere close to retaining the rigidity required to hold the mirror in alignment for use. That said I would recommend staying with the well established helment or eyeglass mounting systems to avoid problems.

One other consideration for recumbent use is to be sure the joint where the mirror meets the stem has enough adjustment to allow the mirror to be canted to more extreme angles required for clear rear viewing while positioned in the laid back posture of a typical recumbent cycling bike.

Scranus.

1904 Cadardi said...

#whatneckwearyourunning

Anonymous said...

JMS @ 1PM:

Yeah. I assumed it was intentional...

Anonymous said...


LEGG TATZ


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

26rd Scranus after reading it?

I noticed the biketit picture, glad I'm not the only one!

dnk said...

I have used one of those little mirrors! Way back in 1999 when I started cycling in NYC.

I went to Toga on the west side and bought four pieces of equipment that I considered essential for bicycle riding, to wit:

1. A bike.

2. A helmet.

3. A water bottle.

4. A little mirror that to attach to my eyeglasses.

Almost immediately I dropped the helmet mirror and accidentally stepped on it so I don't remember anything about it.

I also no longer use a water bottle.

This story is pointless and absolutely sucks. Sorry.



Grumpo said...

That suit jacket makes you look a bit like Ex-Primeminister David Cameron.

Sorry.

JuanOffhue said...

Well, good job WCRM. I just signed up for a Sehen, as I suppose scores of your readers did. They’ll no doubt start advertising in your sidebar shortly.

I’ve long been a user of CatEye bar-end mirrors, which also don’t vibrate. But a substantial portion of my fleet now has bar-end shifters, so a new mirror solution was needed. I tried one that attaches to glasses, but it proved to be virtually useless. Hope the Sehen works out.

janinedm said...

dop, Harrison Ford was a juicy 30-something in that picture.

Fnarf said...

I could never get used to the helment or eyeglass mirror. I couldn't find it with my eye, and trying to navigate traffic while wobbling your head and rolling your eyes around trying to find it is not so fun.

I use a bar mirror, and think it's fantastic. Make sure you get a good one, though -- the best are the D+D Oberlauda Ultralight (German accessories are always the best accessories) or one of the ones by Busch & Mueller, but the last time I got one stolen (along with the entire bike) I replaced it with a Mirrcycle and it works good enough. The key is (a) wide enough field of view and (b) easy to readjust when you knock it out of position. I've never had a problem with vibration. I wouldn't cycle without one now.

BamaPhred said...

What, I am being bow tie shamed?

Vince Lombardi said...

triathlete dismount video...

It's not how many times you fall down that matters, it's how many times you get back up.

Illinois Ralph said...

Janine, Would that film be Indiana Jones and the Temple of Jones?

Yesterdays News said...

Yesterday

Janine said "post-Trump" . I wish it was post Trump.

McFly - You left iphone off the list. Everyday will you call my iphone.

Dooth said...

That tattoo--It is what it is...I can't tell what in Sugar Hill it is. Looks a bit frightening, Wildcat.

bieks said...

Yesterday I would have said that, sadly, I've only ridden my Brompton once this year. Now, sadly, I realize it's once too many. Already folded. Now I need to free up a cubic foot of closet space.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Snob, Lighten up! I'ze in agreeance with Nahmean @1:20 'o th'cl'k: Youse is legimately smiling in those action Brompton-ographs. It's cool how bie-keen does that, eh?
Also, I like how even the most rudimentary biek-gear renders the user relatively ubiquitous/anonymous; I barely recognized you in those photogs! I 'member reading that Bootsy Collins gets all fredded up for his biek-cycle rides, and nobody can recognize him, either.

leroy said...

Wait, Bootsy Collins rides? He's like a God to my dog.

Blauer Reiter said...

I noticed a triangle tattooed on my coworker's forearm, with little circles and a wavy line. "Colleague," i said, "is that a tattoo of a slice of pepperoni pizza?" Without missing a beat she gushed,"omigod i know it's so stupid DID YOU GUYS KNOW TATTOOS ARE FOREVER?!?" Ha ha ha! That was months ago and it still makes me laugh; thanks for reminding me, Snob!

janinedm said...

I didn't look at the enlarged image of the leader group until just now. Hmm, what kind of tie is the leader wearing? Could it be... a bow tie!? Vindication!

Going Flat Out said...

Your rear tire looks a little bit soft.

N/A said...

Everybody knows that bow ties go with fancy bike attire. Would PeeWee Herman ever lead us astray?

janinedm said...

A seersucker suit with a jaunty bow tie and a Walz cap that coordinates with the tie sounds like the hotness to me.

Anonymous said...

Also here to notice the Biketit. Was gratified to see two prior observations.

McFly said...

Yes, the phone. We live on a loop and I highly recommend buying a house on a loop because 65% of the time we go back home after getting 200 yards from the house.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Late...

I always use the Third Eye Mirror. clips to glasses, adjusted properly it's great. Quick glance to the left gives you all the going on behind you stuff you need to know. On the fun side, great for wheel suckers.

vsk

Roman Indagloamin said...

You need a see ya, sucker suit to race in, though. An old guy I see on the trails near me has been using a tiny healment mirror for years. Claims to be a retired gynaecologist who likes to keep his hand in.

James said...

You could have moved up a couple places had you ridden in time trial position like the guy behind you.

bloxorz said...

I really like your blog! Continue to write more! Very interesting!