Monday, May 22, 2017

From Smug to Single

As a semi-professional bike blogger and world-renowned author it is vital that I do not restrict myself to one form of cycling and instead partake in the entire spectrum of velocipeding--and if that means occasionally lowering myself by attempting bicycle polo:


Or trying out a recumbent:


(Via Rivendell)

Then so be it.

For I am nothing if not a Renaissance Fred.

(Also, when Grant Petersen tells you to ride a recumbent you don't argue about it, you just do it.  Unless you want to get stabbed with a lug.)

Anyway, it was in this ecumenical spirit that this past weekend I rode from one end of the cycling rainbow to the other:



It all began on Friday when I donned a suit, unfurled a Brompton, and waded waist-deep into smugness at the Transportation Alternatives Bike Home From Work Party:

Actually, now that you mention it, I think I very well may register:


After all, what better way to celebrate Father's Day than by totally humiliating myself?  Sure, by the looks of things I fall far short in both the sartorial and fitness departments:


But  some simple upgrades may be all I need to win the race, and to that end I'm trying to decide if I should go with the crabon trispokes:


Or else the paired 16-spoke setup:


Most likely I'll just bring both and make the final decision based on race day course conditions.

So if you go to the Harlem Crit and you see someone in a suit with a Brompton sticking a moistened thumb in the air be sure to come by and say hello.

(Though generally speaking I'd advise against approaching strangers wielding moistened thumbs.)

Yes, with the addition of some sweet, sweet crabon I can transform my Brompton from this genteel circus bike:


To this slightly less genteel circus bike:


And in the process forever consign my dignity to this:


Oh and speaking of today's Bike Forecast post, here's the uncensored version of the note I left on that SUV:


So if your money was on "fuckstick" as the censored word I'm afraid you lost the bet.

Then yesterday I went from smugness to singlespeed when I partook in the "Singlespeedapalooza" race for derailleur-challenged mountain bicycles at Stewart State Park:


("Weed Road."  Heh heh.)

According to my commemorative pint glass my last appearance at the start was in 2009:


And as you can imagine it wasn't pretty:


(From here)

Well, I'm only getting slower, but I do have a fancier bicycle:


And I also got a really good number:


As for the race itself, it was the most fun I've had on the bike in awhile, even though we had to share the park with these people:

There will be kennel club activity throughout the weekend using live and blank ammo.  We have contacted them, and there is a mutual understanding that we both have a permit to be in there and must respect each other's event.  If you are pre-riding, and during the race bump into one of the kennel participants, be courteous and cautious as they may be driving from one location to another.  This is just one of the many hurdles in dealing with Stewart.

Who were kind enough to remove some of the course markings, which as I understand it resulted in the lead riders getting totally waylaid.  (Fortunately I was nowhere near the lead riders and managed not to get lost.)

Assholes.

Then after the race I ate pork:


In all it was a thoroughly well-rounded weekend of making bike.

51 comments:

Unknown said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

My AA meeting finished early so I'm on the podium!

Seattle lone wolf said...

I have a case of the Mondays.

Anonymous said...

Hello!

I hate sharing the park, too. Never goes well.

Spent too much time reading to podio said...

I think you would of fit right in with the Bromptom Crowd...Probably would far exceed the sartorial "splendor" of pink-suit-guy.

"Sure, by the looks of things I fall far short in both the sartorial and fitness departments"

wishiwasmerckx said...

Cracking into the top ten is easier than it used to be.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

7th Scranus!

Beavis said...

Heheheh, sign sez "Weed Road Parking Area". So that's where the locals sit in their cars and toke. Probably also a kennel club activity.

It all really seems mostly bike-neutrality to me said...

I'm a pretty diverse bikist who played bike polo for a few years, went bike touring for more than 10 years, and have done club rides/charity rides, folding bike (not Brompton),alleycats, recumbent, BMX, Unicycle, and many many, other things; and have never considered myself to be "lowering" myself (O.K., bike polo maybe, somedays). I personally would have only felt like I was "lowering" myself if I would have tried cyclocross or triathalon, maybe.

Anonymous said...

coincidentally, 2009 was the last (and only) time I "raced" the singlespeed-a-palooza. Lots of fun as I recall

N/A said...

Wildcat is one handsome devil all suited up for circus-biek-riding.

Dirty dozen said...

Moistened thumbs and all.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I put my money on 'Douchebag'

wle said...

who's "Stewart"?

wle said...

Do bike poloists ("polists? " polioists?" "populists?") ever lower their saddles so their feet touch the ground more better?

Cat 404 e-Racer said...

Bravo Tom Dumoulin on grabbing the pink in the Giro.

The team name change must have something to do with your success.

Last year I always heard the announcers call you boys "team giant owl pissing".

leroy said...

My dog borrowed my bike yesterday for a different kennel club activity.

In Piermont, he poured out an iced cappuccino for a past peloton patron and then followed the Gran Fondo New York home.

He reports solving the Zen koan inquiry about the sound of one wag tailing.

It's "woo-hoo," something else, or nothing at all.

janinedm said...

@It all really seems mostly bike-neutrality to me

The recumbent was the low point. Recumbents are always the lowest point.

dancesonpedals said...

Cyclocross beneath you? Those guys rock! Roadies never kick spectators.

DB said...

You look good in a suit.

Anonymous said...

The license plate on the offending SUV was a Massachusetts plate

McFly said...

Well if I had a nickel every time I stuck a moistened thumb........

JLRB said...

Damn dogs - always messing with trail markers - they think its funny we can't smell our way around

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:59pm,

Thanks.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Frilly Chick said...

Andrew Talansky's win in the Amgen Tour of California queen stage breaks his Slipstream outfit's two-year WorldTour win drought. --VeloNews

It could always be worse Snobbie. xoxo

Chazu said...

I hope you ate the pork while wearing blended fabrics. That way, you're out of compliance with the Big Three.

Psycho-Cross said...

having fans who sling mud and beer at you the entire race sort of proves cyclocross is at the bottom of the barrel, bike riding wise....The fact that a "racer"* may kick back at their "fans" doesn't add to their reputation very much.

*more like a wallower

some random guy said...

My b-hole puckered at the mention of a moistened thumb.

Childhood trauma revisited?

Snob's Rabbi said...

Pork?

Eben, may I have a word with you, please?

Bill Crowder said...

Happy Victoria Day from Americas Royal Shower Cap.

David Pearce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lowering into the mud said...

Cyclocross is too similar to bog snorkeling to get me interested in participating or even spectating, even if there is beer and fries involved.

David Pearce said...

Dear Snob:

How you been? Good I hope! Long time no write for me. I must admit, now that I know what you look like, I'm less eager to read this blog. Sorry, that's Showbiz, Kid!

*******
I'm at the strange age of taking care of sick parents.

And no one ever gave me an instruction manual for how to do it, but when one's mother succumbs to terrible dementia and one's father eats himself into a quintuple bypass and subsequently into a wheelchair, it ain't pretty.

So, I include this obit. from the April 7 New York Times. My Mom, I'm proud to say. But I'm only linking it because she WAS a special, talented person, who used her great brain and the great schools of New York City to go from The Bronx to the White House, and after that, I lifetime in teaching world decorative & fine art history to the "ladies" (housewives) of Washington, D.C. in private classes.

She was one of the Greatest Generation, and I guess my Father is too, although he should have taken care of himself better.

Here's the link: Lorraine Waxman Pearce Obituary

She was a steam locomotive, a pile driver, a force of nature for 75+ years, even working as she was getting sick, and then her brain just deserted her. She ran out of gas. I'm trying to be some of the things she wanted me to be now. :-)

Nina Paley said...

Recumbents are great. Ride more recumbents please.

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

bieks said...

Impressed by the no hands riding on the BWC video. For a bike which feels rock solid riding 42 mph down hill (what was I thinking?), I barely like taking one hand off the bars for signalling, let alone two - and yes, I'm quite comfortable riding no hands on my other bikes.

Oh, and what's the deal with all the matching green helmets & orange vests on your other blog?

bad boy of the sooth said...

David,a very beautiful sentiment and very nice obituary from the New York Times.My Dad passed twelve days later than your mom's,and I became wistful.thanks.

bad boy of the sooth said...

Snob,you can use bikesmugnyc,too.

Anonymous said...

Three crabon spokes! What poufters. I'm already at 2 and hope to transition to one RealSoonNow&tm;! And yes, I have a bit of a problem with scrotal punctures, but that's the price of FredDom&tm;.

Anonymous said...

When are you going to try a DH bike? Go to a bike park!

JLRB said...

David - Thanks for sharing the beautiful obit. My sympathy for your loss - its never easy.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:03,

I've been to a bike park.

--Wildcat Etc.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice suit. You clean up pretty well.

I don't need Grant Peterson to tell me to get on a recumbent. I managed to get low down myself this weekend with no problem.

Hair Furor said...

In your Bike Forecast you posted a picture of a participant on a $8,000 SpeedVagen "Urban Racer" and DIDN'T make fun of it?! #MissedOpportunity

Anonymous said...

Should have eaten dog...

Arizona redneck said...

Fuck shal,
You're worse than that tiresome Canadian woman...

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