Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Hey Brotard, Can You Spare A Meme?

You'll be [insert feeling here] to know that, further to yesterday's post, I've put a new (old) bottom bracket in the Brown Stallion and it rides like a dream (assuming that dream is about riding a perfectly serviceable bike):

As you can see in the picture above, fog has descended like a metaphor upon the city (I just used metaphor in a simile, what do I win?), and as I headed downtown this morning I felt as though I was disappearing into the mists of time.  See, whenever I find myself riding in the rain in Midtown on a weekday I'm immediately transported back to the 1990s, a glorious age when people danced the Macarena, AOL sent people us free discs in the mail, and I worked briefly as a bike messenger:

As the moisture crept into my shoes the nostalgia dampened my soul, and once again I was an adrift 20-something flitting about the city with a bag full of modeling portfolios, a heart full of awe, and a crotch full of tinea cruris.  Yes, there was a time when I knew all the skyscrapers by their addresses, and when I could navigate the warren-like service entrances like an industrious little bunny.  Alas, this information has since been pushed out of my tiny brain, supplanted the day-to-day considerations of child-rearing and blog curation and the pictures of Mario Cipollini that have been burned into my wetware and will no doubt haunt me until I die:

It's an occupational hazard.

Speaking of sexism, Wolf Tooth Components (makers of those wide-range cogs and narrow/wide chainrings that are so hot with the millennials nowadays) recently experienced a bit of a PR chain-drop and consequently squashed their nuts square on the top tube of ignominy:

American parts manufacturer Wolf Tooth Components has apologised for yesterday posting a sexist, homophobic image to its Instagram account. The image – seen by BikeBiz but later deleted by Wolf Tooth – adapted a disparaging meme to mock those who use SRAM and Shimano products.

Of course, the Internet never forgets (as I know too well) and here, apparently, is the image in question:
You see what they did there?  People who use SRAM are gay, because SRAM is gay.  And you don't want to be gay, because being gay is gay.

Anyway, obviously it's a stupid image, not just because of the sexist and homophobic implications, but also because anybody who cares about bike components that much is a complete dork who spends all their non-riding time sad and alone:

And that's true regardless of sexual preference or which restroom you use:

For their part, Wolf Tooth Components pushed the hot chicks off their laps for long enough to explain that it was the action of a rogue employee:

Stung by the growing criticism, an image of the company's logo was later posted to Instagram with the message: "We are so sorry for the inappropriate post put up this morning by one of our employees. It is a disgusting image and we are saddened that a picture of our product was used this way. This does NOT represent our company. A mistake was made, we are very sorry."

No word on whether or not this employee was censured, but presumably he drove home that evening in a tuned Honda Civic with one of those farty crabon exhaust pipes and spent the rest of the night playing video games and doing a lot of this:

He's wanking, by the way.  (Just in case you couldn't tell from my design department's sublime illustration.)

And of course none of this is surprising, given the cycling industry's strong "bro" culture--though it is kind of funny how bro-tastic cycling is given that it's really not that much different from hobbyhorse riding:

Customizing something and then putting it between your legs and prancing around in front of your peers is pretty much exactly what cycling is.

Lastly, speaking of cycling and bros, Peter Sagan kinda makes my skin crawl, although I do enjoy his cooking videos:

I'd suggest watching this highlight reel:

You're welcome.


dnk said...

Friends, gentle romans, countrymen, and Leroy's Dog.

We are gathered here today...


Unknown said...

227. Our discussion of leftism has a serious weakness. It is still far from clear what we mean by the word “leftist.” There doesn’t seem to be much we can do about this. Today leftism is fragmented into a whole spectrum of activist movements. Yet not all activist movements are leftist, and some activist movements (e.g., radical environmentalism) seem to include both personalities of the leftist type and personalities of thoroughly un-leftist types who ought to know better than to collaborate with leftists. Varieties of leftists fade out gradually into varieties of non-leftists and we ourselves would often be hard-pressed to decide whether a given individual is or is not a leftist. To the extent that it is defined at all, our conception of leftism is defined by the discussion of it that we have given in this article, and we can only advise the reader to use his own judgment in deciding who is a leftist.

boys on the hoods said...


Hee Haw the Barista's bleeding edge 12 year old sister said...


They used to call me Fred (really). said...

Sea buckthorn? Had to look that one up.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Slowly filling out the top ten.

Apparently, everybody has migrated over to the other blog who shall remain nameless...

Unknown said...

I thought Peter Sagan was Kid Rock in that first photo.

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

In the tennus, and without wheelbrows ...


N/A said...

I've been training hard over the winter, and I think I'm ready for some epic gravel hobby horsing.

Seattle lone wolf said...


N/A said...

You just know that there's some hobby horse Frederika that has a bumper sticker on her Lexus SUV that says "Horsin' Around".

N/A said...

What vehicle are we using disdainfully these days to show our contempt for the needless size and expense?

Schisthead said...

Is it only OK to make fun of the sexual habits of people via social media for the purpose of marketing who are making fun of other people's sexual habits via social media for the purposes of marketing, or can anyone do it?

Asking for a friend.

BikeSnobNYC said...


I think the rule of thumb is everybody gets to make fun of the sexual habits of heterosexual white males, but companies using social media for the purposes of marketing don't get to make fun of anybody.

I do love that the person with the keys to Wolf Tooth's social media accounts saw that image and thought, "I think I'll post that on the company Instagram, what could possibly go wrong?"

--Wildcat Etc.

Fnarf said...

Until you've wanked WITH a Wolf Tooth 40T cog you don't know how good it can be. Make sure those splines line up correctly, though.

Freddy Murcks said...

"A mistake was made." That is an excellent example of use of the passive voice to disown all responsibility and to make their non-apology really pop. Way to go, Wolf Tooth Components.

Freddy Murcks said...

By the way, I would tell Ted K. to go fuck himself but he has already had his own dick stuck up his ass for so long now that it is starting become a bit embarrASSing.

Anonymous said...

What? no mention of Cipo's 50th anniversary on this planet....

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...everybody knows that SRAM is gay because it is (was?) French... and the French are sissies who only know how to cook... make cheese... make wine... make love... kiss in French... and... really, that's all. So they are GAY.

Joe said...

I think the graphic is accurate to the degree that increasing the amount of money spent on fred gear is akin to trying to maintain multiple sexual relationships as once-- it sounds amazing in theory but in reality leaves everyone unsatisfied, exhausted and bitter. That's what Wolf Tooth was trying to say, right?

McFly said...

I've got the 105 and what I think is a hot woman sooooooooo the top line of the algorithm is accurate.

I also have a wolftooth narrow/wide, do I need to remove immediately or what?

Please advise.

1904 Cadardi said...


Your graphic is spot on! Brilliant!

Being a mountain beiking componeting company might the social marketing idiot have driven home in a jacked up truck with a giant "SaltLife" sticker in the back window?

ps. Congratulations on the new (used) BB. Nothing like cranks that turn without crunching to make a ride better.

N/A said...

Well here I was all happy with my Tiagra level components and now I see that I've been missing out. Damnit!

DB said...

Sorry I'm late but the Best Made catalogue was in my mailbox today and I've been trying to decide which axe I should order.

Anonymous said...

yikes that Sagan guy is skeevy

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

You can't spell "a lone wolf tooth employee" without onan


Sagan totally could have played Tony Alva in Lords of Dogtown!

HivemindX said...

Are they saying that how much money you can spend on bikes is directly related to how much money you can spend to get girls to come within 10' of you at the strip club?

Also, did Teddy K always copy and paste his, whatever the hell that that thing that he does is, from the sort of screed that feels the need to constantly use the term 'leftist'? I swear I don't read, but it's hard to miss that when it's, like, every fifth word. Also, does he have some sort of newsletter...a friend...could subscribe to.

Freddy Murcks said...

Headphones a scourge on the trail - and apparently some people who like to run with headphones are colossal assholes. Be careful out there, people. DrunkCyclist - stompd

Dooth said...

If I were to build a bike with those Shimano and Wolftooth parts, I'll have a basic orgy...I'd need to throw in some SRAM just to liven things up.

Schisthead said...

Dearest BSNYC:

Those people were all black.
Even the gay dudes.

Blowing Smoke said...

Might be of interest that that doper-turned-dope-dealer Floyd Landis is a lead sponsor of the Tour of Battenkill this year. Perhaps he'll be handing out free samples to prime the pump for the next generation of dopers. He'll have money to burn if he manages to collect his million dollar award for whistle-blowing on the Texan.

Arizona hillbilly said...

We all know who the "Leftists" are. They're the ones who can't laugh off an asshole joke...

babble on said...

Wait a minute... d'you mean to say that wanking is a bad thing?
Right up there with cocksucking??

I'm so confused.

Anonymous said...

Leaving out Microshift was totally inappropriate.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Bad Boy - My condolences for your loss. xo

Chazu - WRT Christianity and the center of the universe? Um, dunno that Jesus has anything to do with it, buty since the universe is infinite, the earth is at the center of it. And so are you. And so, come to think of it, am I. Infinity is funny that way.

Drock said...

I to rode in fog mist today, no mist jacket however it was nice. I use ultrrga I get it all, all the time I guess. Is peter the biggest and maybe coolest/oddest rider these days. I say yes cause the rest are bitches. Cry babies cry.

Frog´s legs said...

@ Serial Retrogrouch 3.17 PM

We also invented oral sex

samuel said...

Switching out my components seems like a lot to ask just to get a date.

Unknown said...

You know it is from the manifesto of Ted Kasinsky, AKA the Unabomber

Major VVald said...

Common know!edge that the troll on this blog known as "Ted" is just cutting and pasting from the Unabomber's manifesto. I mean, if your friend is into that kind of crap....

Olle Nilsson said...

I'd be offended by your use of "brotard" but I'm such an oldentard, not only do I enjoy political incorrectness, I've never even heard of wolf tooth.

Olle Nilsson said...

By the way, I was disappointed to find out the Kid Rock video was actually Peter Sagan, and I don't even like Kid Rock.

dancesonpedals said...

Ted K on a Backpack?

dancesonpedals said...


recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Leaving out Microshift was totally inappropriate."

-Good one Anon.

Unknown said...

I like Kid Rock, but the oily Cipollini pic was totally inappropriate.

leroy said...

No way am I investing in Wolf Tooth equipment.

I learned my lesson when my dog sold me an artisanal hounds-tooth cycling jacket.

Turned out to be an old Bike Nashbar rain jacket in which he'd chewed a few holes.

Canine tooth themed consumer items are not high on that bridle registry he curated for us. Not even sure why we're using my credit card for that. He's the one flouting local leash laws.

Chazu said...


Yes, and; each place, everywhere in the universe, is also the center of the universe.

Those Earth-like planets recently discovered to be in orbit around Proxima Centuri? They're at the center of the universe. If intelligent life is, was, or will be on those planets; will they consider themselves to be at the center of the universe? I hope not. Just as I hope that they don't/won't teach their children about "Original Sin" and similar myths.

Anonymous said...

Coming up: Interplanetary warfare over which planet Jesus (and/or Mohammed) loves more.

Hill Slayer said...


As a queer person who also loves SRAM, I think they're really onto something, here.

Also, as someone who not only bikes to work but gets paid to bike while at work... I never get flats. (kinahora.) In Chicago, the city of potholes. So...not sure if that means I'm simply superior to everyone else here, or ...

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dog meme's said...

I like the bike!