BSNYC Friday Fun! (Quiz Not Included)

There's nothing like a snowstorm to bring out the best in humanity.  "Once more unto the breach!," cry the motorists as they place unwavering faith in their stupid cars and drive heedlessly towards disaster.  Inevitably the wind up stuck on the highway, crying "Why hast thous forsaken me?" into the dashboards of their Freedom Machines.  But it all works out fine, because here comes Governor Cuomo to the rescue:

Cuomo, in pictures his office posted on Twitter, is seen helping to hook up a tow cable to a Chevrolet Malibu that was stuck in the snow.

The governor came across the stuck vehicle at around 3 p.m. on the northbound Sprain Brook Parkway near the Hawthorne exit as he was surveying road conditions, Cuomo spokesman Richard Azzopardi said.

So why not escort an elderly person down some slippery subway stairs or across a slush-covered intersection?  Simple: that kind of photo-op doesn't occur to politicians who travel everywhere via chauffeur-driven SUV.  But you can be sure that when they come across some schmuck in a Malibu who ignored every warning for the past 24 hours and made the stupid decision to drive in a snowstorm they'll fall all over themselves extricate said driver from his or her self-dug hole.

Speaking of asking for it, as I mentioned yesterday, I got some new tires for my portly bike:

Which I plan to use all year round even though they're only rated for "Summer Fatbiking:"

I mean sure, I guess I can also use them for "bikepacking," "cross country," "trail," and "enduro"--though it doesn't specify what season, plus apart from "cross country" I don't really know what any of those other things are, so now I'm totally confused.

Even more confusing was that when I finally got a chance to mount them (onto the bike, that is) yesterday evening I noticed that I'm only allowed to ride these tires between 30-45psi, or else presumably I will die:

If you're unfamiliar with today's portly tires, even 30psi is stupendously high #whatpressureyourunning, and a more appropriate #whatpressureyourunning would be roughly half that.  Of course, I could probably just assume that this is some vestigial text from the days of primitive 26x1.8 mountain bike tires, and that WTB has forgotten to instruct the factory in Ghina to update it.  However, I think the more prudent course of action is to pen a neurotic screed to Lennard Zinn at VeloNews and wait for his reply:

Dear Lennard,

I recently purchased a set of 27.5 x 3.0 WTB Bridger tires.  What is the failure mode if I attempt to use them for any other purpose besides summer fatbiking and run them at a lower #whatpressureyourunning than 30psi?  Should I expect explosion or implosion?

Sincerely,

--Concerned Mountain Fred

PS: These are not fat bike tires, so how can I use them for "summer fatbiking?"  Isn't that like saying I can use a beef patty for a "winter vegan barbecue?"

Until I hear back rest assured I've surrounded the bike with yellow caution tape and don't plan to go anywhere near it.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep hitting refresh over at VeloNews, where the technical question du jour is this:

I’ve never quite understood how fork angle, fork offset, and the resulting trail affect the way a road bike feels and steers. In my life, I’ve had three racing bikes with these three very different front ends, and I thought if you could tell me what the numbers mean to you, it might help me and your other readers understand bike geometry a little better.

1. 73-degree fork angle with a 40mm offset and a 110mm stem.

2. 74-degree fork angle with a 45mm offset and a 90mm stem.

3. 72.5-degree fork angle with a 49mm offset and a 90mm stem.

All three felt solid at speed. No. 1 felt good until I got No. 2. With No. 2, I felt like I could just lean the bike and it would turn itself, which No. 1 did not. No. 3, my latest bike, doesn’t feel quite as intuitive going into the turns, but once in the turn, it feels the most rock-solid of them all. (It’s laterally the stiffest by far, which may be factor.) The only other comment I have is that the steering for No. 3, which is rock-solid at high speed, feels surprisingly loose at low speeds. I can’t recall feeling that with my first two bikes.

Zinn gives a lengthy reply which I couldn't read, since the obvious answer is that the rider is experiencing the effects of aging.  Consider:

--The first bike "felt good."

--The second bike felt like "could just lean the bike and it would turn itself;"

--The third bike "doesn’t feel quite as intuitive going into the turns, but once in the turn, it feels the most rock-solid of them all."

Right, so over the course of three bikes he went from awkward to overconfident to prudent.  Pretty simple really.  You're just getting old.  This is like asking a sex columnist, "Why does my penis handle differently?"

All three felt solid at speed.  No. 1 felt good but it was twitchy and over too quick.  No. 2 I felt like I could just lean in and it would go by itself.  No. 3 doesn't feel quite as intuitive, but once in the turn it feels the most rock-solid of them all.

You can even use the same diagram:

In other aging Fred news, Johan Bruyneel thinks people still give a shit what he thinks:

"I don't know what it is that's up with LeMond. It's not normal to be so obsessed with Armstrong," said Bruyneel, who is currently serving a 10-year ban for his involvement in doping.

"He has realised that people are less and less outraged by Lance, because it has become clear that he was only one of many who were doping, and that's why LeMond is now looking for something new with which to tarnish his name. But he's not going to manage it. They can keep trying until the year 3000 – they're not going to find mechanical doping.

I dunno, I don't think people are less and less outraged so much as they are less and less interested.  It's all really just this century's equivalent of the Tonya Harding scandal.  I'd also categorize both Bruyneel and LeMond as people from whom the world could quite contentedly never, ever hear from again.

Anyway, we all know Lance Armstrong was mötödöping after his comeback.  Remember how he kept crashing all over the place for no apparent reason?  It was because he wasn't used to all that power.  Also, he rode for RadioShack, a company that specialized in tiny motors, so he probably had some really glitchy piece of crap Tandy job in his seat tube that was retrofitted from a remote control car:

(There was nothing more exciting than getting a remote control car for Christmas...until you noticed it was from Radio Shack.)

And if you don't think disc brakes and the new wide-tires--and-suspension-on-road-bikes trend is all about needing more traction because of the motor then you're kidding yourself:

One of the biggest benefits about hydraulic discs on road bikes has nothing to do with braking. By eliminating the constraints of a caliper wrapping around the rim, it’s now game on for fun tire options.

It’s funny to think that 25mm tires used to be absurdly large. No one went larger than a 23 for a road bike. Now we’re a bit more open minded — or maybe we’re just older and appreciate the extra cushioning.  

In any event, being able to run fat tires opens up your route as well as your traction and suspension capabilities. No, you don’t have to put monster-truck tires on your aero bike — but it’s great to have options.

1) When were 25mm tires "absurdly large?"  2) Someone should tell Fred that 28mm tires work perfectly fine on most old-timey road bikes with short-reach rim brakes.

On second thought, don't tell them, because then we can have their bikes when they throw them in the trash.