Thursday, January 19, 2017

I'm NOT HERE, I just popped back in for a minute to tell you something.

While I'm still technically away from this blog until Monday, January 23rd, I just wanted to inform you, my loyal readers, that I've written an op-ed on every cyclist's favorite subject for Gothamist:


As a long-time Gothamist reader I was grateful for the opportunity to write this, and I'm uncharacteristically pleased with the results.  Furthermore, as someone who's been writing about bikes on the Internet for 10 years now, believe me when I tell you that last week I typed up what I thought the comments on this post would be, mailed them to myself, and when I opened the envelope just now the contents matched the actual comments on the post word-for-word.

Helmet commentary that predictable.

[I should also point out that my oft-used intentional misspelling of helmet as "helment" indeed has its origins in a Gothamist post, so my blogging career has come full circle yet again, which would explain why I never feel like I'm getting anywhere.]

And now back to your regularly-scheduled hiatus.  See you back here on Monday, January 23rd!

Ride safe,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


PS:  Notice I didn't even mention once how the inauguration is tomorrow and we're all doomed.


77 comments:

dop said...

Podioooooo!

Ted K. said...

202. It would be hopeless for revolutionaries to try to attack the system without using SOME modern technology. If nothing else they must use the communications media to spread their message. But they should use modern technology for only ONE purpose: to attack the technological system.

Perry said...

Helment Schmelment!

And go fuck a dead dog, Ted K.

geoff_tewierik said...

Top 5, nice.

And FTR, that pic of you has #smuglord written all over it.

Anonymous said...

whoo-hoo, already rode too!

-illegitimate ken e.

Bluezurich said...

Does your barber approve of that beard neckline?

Old Timer said...

I AM here....

N/A said...

Nice, Wildcat.

Anonymous said...

I predict an increase in mortality, nothing to do with helments, as the US population gives up the will to live through the Trump Tranny. You poor sods...

Hell, I do not care, T-1000

Victor Kaminski said...

Vsk said...

I came here via Ms. Babble's twitter bird wings.

Vsk

Anonymous said...

My Lob, Ted got top 3. How many podiums has got his ass on to? Speaking of the ass. I can't help but wonder if the Donald gets the greatest hemorrhoids.

Dooth said...

Butt the Richard Gere gerbil wore a helment.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Turd-teeth on the last day of Obama-dom!

fourhourerection said...

Top Twenty, Trumpets! WTF, Ted. Don't you have anything better to do? Well, I guess you USED to.

Anonymous said...

Ted K will want to know how long the dog has been dead.

Die free said...

Top twenty! I should retire now.

Agent Orange said...

Sunny days are ahead for all the citizens of the U.S.A.

babble on said...

There is no sun in a nuclear winter. Um, and I thought Terd Was the DEad DoG.

bad boyof the north said...

snuck this one in,eh?

McFly said...

We're not your crazy ex-girlfriend. You can't just show back up for a quick BJ and expect everything to be the same. OK.....just this once. BUT WE AIN'T GONNA SWAL.....

dnk said...

Nice one on Gothamist, Snob.

Comments predictable yes, but give them a gold star for highlighting "Alex's" comment in form of PSA that automobile drivers should be helmeted. (They do that in NASCAR, right?)

Speaking of helments ---- a True Story from the Streets of Brooklyn, circa last week: I got doored riding down Lexington in Bed Stuy. For those of you who know that street, it's one-way & fairly wide, so there was nobody more surprised than me to find myself at the receiving end of a box truck door, careening toward the pavement.

I hit my head. I was wearing my fucking styrofoam beanie. I was completely okay.

Now maybe I would have been completely okay hitting my head without the helmet. Can't (nor do I want to) re-run that experiment sans plastic hat.

I am glad I had it on.

ALSO: I do still plan to ride from time to time without the helmet.

AND: I pretty much agree with you all the way on this one, Snob.

Finally to the Fake Ted K --- what they said above. Go fuck a dead dog. Just stop flogging the dead horse.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, shit ton of comments on G., but there's only two, actually, used over and over. Personally, I'm putting on my Trumpnet today and I'm not taking it off for four years at least, so, yeah, I'm on the WHERE THE HELMNENT side of the argument for now.

Drock said...

Who is that in the picture? Do you have their permission to post such up close head shot? Oh wait the first of your 37 children is all grown up, I see now.

bbotn said...

maybe ted k. is uh,uh...dj..oh never mind.

CommieCanuck said...

FAKE NEWS..that knit cap he's wearing is high modulus crabon fiber. Horizontally compliant for large egos.

CommieCanuck said...

Donald Trump gets the nuclear launch code today. Fuck me.

So, by sunday, we all know the pass code will be "passcode".

BikeSnobNYC said...

CommieCanuck,

My guess is 12345, a la "Spaceballs."

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Lob help us all!

Anonymous said...

No!
If I was handy with the hyperlinky I would. But I'm not so you'll have to google this if you think it's fake news.
United States patent number 1,294,863, filed Sept 4, 1918 entitled "Soldier's Headwear" says, on the text page, right column, lines 48-49 "the outer portion of the helment is comprised of a concavo-convex element."

Groundhog Day said...

Agent Orange @ 1050 "Sunny days are ahead for all the citizens of the U.S.A."

1945, Berlin, the Thousand Year Reich was days from concluding it's 12 year run. Down in Hitler's Bunker Joseph Goebbels had this to say on the fate of the German People: "I don't pity them. I repeat, I don't pity them. The people called this upon themselves. We didn't force the people. They gave us a mandate. And now their paying for it."

dancesonpedals said...

"I'm not here..I just popped in"

That's what one's wife usually says when she needs to get something out of the bathroom while you're on the crapper.

The Wall said...

Johnnyflame 1:30 Yesterday

Did Martin Amis write that for you?

MacNews of the World said...

CC @ 11:37 The President gets to change the passcode to something it's easy for him to remember. In this case it could be Trump Tower, or Billion Dollar Loss, or Pussy, or Fake News, or Millions of Illegal Voters, or Vladimir, or (I could go on and on like this)...

BamaPhred said...

Get a grip, people, the Chief Cheeto's password is MAGA

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Snobby, what happened? You look happy, daresay positively radiant!

CommieCanuck said...

Snob, you vastly overestimate the IQ of world leaders.

CommieCanuck said...

My guess is 12345, a la "Spaceballs."

Wait, lemme try that, ...let me know if anything happens in the next 20 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for pushing back on the helmet freaks. American's have grown so soft. I support common sense - which, for me, translates into, don't ride above the level of what your head can absorb should you wipe out.

CommieCanuck said...

Ok, protestor was gassed carrying a sign, "YUGE MISTAKE". That was funny (the sign, not the gas, I have concerns about a populist right-wing leader who wants to round up one ethnicity from house-to-house searches, and now uses gas).


WERE FCKD

CommieCanuck said...

Snobby, what happened? You look happy, daresay positively radiant!

You been under a rock? America is Grate again.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Groundhog Day, I think even Joseph Goebbels said they're paying for it. We are the ones about which someone in the future will say their paying four it.

johnnyflame said...

speaking of hitler & goebbels, the 'protesters' rampage today in DC was kind of Kristallnacht-ish. oh wait, those are the inclusive ones.

BamaPhred said...

I would worry less about Trump pushing the nuclear button than one of the rogue stateless peoples.
Watching Dr Strangelove, again, trying to nap. Peter Sellers, his dysfunctional arm giving the salute, and Mein Furher I can walk always crack me up. Wondering who is Trumps' Dr Strangelove?
I survived the Cold War, living next to the Fulda Gap when Kennedy was assassinated, Vietnam, and all the other BS this country has dished out since then. I can't remember any of that helping me or you.
I think I'm gonna survive Trump too.
Yeah, I'm helmented. Its a habit I can't break. But I do wear a Snob hat under my healment. Keeps the chromedome from getting sunburned.
Carry on. It's always entertaining in here.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus.

Spokey said...


actually bama i'm surprised that trump derangement syndrome is as light here as it is. it's worse here in snobbie's hemorrhoids and from the relatives in brooklyn, it appears to be getting hysterical as you nearer to the trumpeting towers.

frankly i'm thinking this is highly entertaining and will be crestfallen if it falls away in a day or two.

N/A said...

Wildcat is keeping all hush-hush about the Trumpster because he doesn't want to spill the beans that he's been appointed by His Prezidente to a newly-developed role as Director of Velocipedical Transportational Logistics in the department of Suburban Conveyance Relations And National Usage of Streets.

bad boy of the north said...

what kind of speech was that that djt gave?

bad boy of the north said...

oh yeah,before I forget...snob,really nice article in the "gothamist".

Fred Mercury said...

johhnyflame=troll,
Don't think that just because someone thinks trump is a bloated pile of narcissistic turd that they support the democraps. I think that anybody who believes trump is looking out for them is a rube, just like those that bought Hillary's line of bullshit. "Snowflake" is played out and pithy. I know a lot of old punks who can see trump for what he is and used to fight the skinheads regularly. I don't think anybody would have called Joe Strummer a snowflake and walked away. Well, maybe if they were safely behind a keyboard.

By the way, I'm both repulsed and awed by Cipo. He seems like a tool, but I kind of wish I was him.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

what kind of speech was that that djt gave?

- It was great, it was yuuuge, it was terrific, not overrated.

No one's going to be going around rounding up anyone.
But your papers expired 2 weeks ago ...

vsk

The King of Park Slope said...

Are you seriously suggesting theRichard Gere gerbil incident never happened?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hee Haw the Barista said...

Any of you been raped by a Mexican today?

Huh?

I thought not.

You've got Trump to thank for that one my friend.

Clarkey said...

Wow, You really are Inspector Gadget!

LittleCipo said...

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming of dick pics, onanism, and Scranal unguents

Ryan Kelley said...

Just when I was "losing hope", you "come back"... with "controversy to stir". Well done, Bike Snob.

Doc Sarvis said...

It's still timely advice

Anonymous said...

They're YUuuuuuge!

Dreaming said...

National network of protected bike lanes! Woo hoo! Yay infrastructure spending!

Ronald T. King said...

Great man! Keep it up!

Scentient Being said...

That grinning mug of a picture of our Wildcat is not an expression of happiness but, like in a newborn baby, a sign of excessive gas.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Well I rode outdoors yesterday and today and was disappointed to see that all the bad roads haven't been fixed yet!

JLRB said...

What ever happened to the Air Force vet who got the helment ticket? We need a where are they now follow up...

Spokey said...

i'm just anxious and excited to see what pearls snobbie has in store for us on the morrow. i guess i could finally click over and reed the column he is hawking.

'course i know snobs will wait until i'm out at the grocery store before posting so there's no chance of garnering a jersey tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Do we start feeding the crops Gatorade now?

Anonymous said...

Bike jailed for 10 years?
https://twitter.com/adamjohnsonNYC/status/822525478116478977

Beleeb Me said...

Please post alt-facts about alt-facts to bring the circle to close

Regular Guy said...

I am not here. I just pooped.

Richard Spencer said...

I should have worn a full downhill helment

N/A said...

I just wanted to pop in and say that I am here. I'm all atwitter with anticipation for Wildcat's triumphant return from the Mall parking lot.

Spokey said...


sneaked out to the grocery store early to avoid rain-magedon and pleasantly surprised to find i actually have a prayer of losing the podi today.

Spokey said...


props to N/A on garnering the prized '69' comment slot

N/A said...

What does that jersey look like, I wonder?

bad boy of the north said...

Orwell,just another alternative day in Orangeman's alternative world.

Grump said...

WTF?....Were you giving us "alternative facts" when you said that you wouldn't be back here until today?......Do you have a position under our new fearless leader????

Rapha Kramden said...

Dick Pound.

Die free said...

Glad you're back wildcat...

Cat 404 Racer said...

I would have thought the Soofa was a solar-powered parts degreasing station if you hadn't told us.