Friday, July 8, 2016

Nobody Cares if You Live or Die Out There. Have a Great Weekend!

It was a short week, so I'm going to spare you the quiz, and instead remind you once again that when you're on a bike in New York City you're completely on your own:



I suspect pretty much every cyclist in New York City has a story like this.  (Really, I suspect pretty much every cyclist everywhere has a story like this, except maybe in Holland where the worst thing that happens is someone taking up too much space at the bike rack with a bakfiets.)  Hey, I was already on the receiving end of a little completely unwarranted road rage this morning, and it wasn't even 8:30am yet.

I also suspect you scoffed as heartily as I did when you read that the NYPD said there "was nothing they could do" because "the driver did not succeed in hitting them."  This is because we all know that even if the driver did hit them there's a pretty good chance the police response would be the same.

You bet your ass you'd better have a bell on your bike though, or else you'll be in big trouble:


So far this year, motorists have killed 12 cyclists on New York City streets, an increase from five at the same point last year, according to the New York Times.

Other than a one-week initiative in May to keep bike lanes clear of motor vehicles, the NYPD hasn’t updated its usual approach to “bike safety” — ticketing cyclists who break the letter of the law but don’t endanger anyone.

Even after a driver was shown on video deliberately running over von Ohlen, inflicting fatal injuries, the local precinct responded by ticketing cyclists and handing out flyers.

And with that, I'm going someplace where I'm free from both addled drivers and draconian cycling crackdowns, and that's a little place I like to call "mountain biking."  So I'll see you back here on Monday, but in the meantime I'm going to leave you with this:


Which, as far as I can tell, is the world's fastest "bum bar" bike:


It may have taken well over a hundred years, but I think we've finally dialed in the design of the safety bicycle.

67 comments:

Ted K. said...

149. Presumably, research will continue to increase the effectiveness of psychological techniques for controlling human behavior. But we think it is unlikely that psychological techniques alone will be sufficient to adjust human beings to the kind of society that technology is creating. Biological methods probably will have to be used. We have already mentioned the use of drugs in this connection. Neurology may provide other avenues for modifying the human mind. Genetic engineering of human beings is already beginning to occur in the form of “gene therapy,” and there is no reason to assume that such methods will not eventually be used to modify those aspects of the body that affect mental functioning.

Anonymous said...

dos

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Third but second discounting Fake Ted K. Scranus!

Kraig said...

Hey Snob,

If you're going to be serving a double dose of despair over the ice in my veins, topped with the frothy anger of vehicular manslaughter, I'd like a hug on the side to help wash it down.

Thanks,

Kraig.

marty said...

podcast snob
p o d c a s t
p. o. d. c. a. s. t.

just cause i havnt hit you doesnt mean im not trying

Anonymous said...

top ten.. blew up 50m from the finish trying to out run the cars

Anonymous said...

What, no crack about "20 inches of pure pedal stroke?" You're getting lazy.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Seems like LFN could have put that aluminum gearbox down where there isn't a bottom bracket, then if there are any actually built and sold, their users won't risk a chain tattoo all the way up the side of their leg. And the e-motor is front wheel drive, wonder how that will work going up hill as there is already less weight on the front wheel and then the weight all shifts backwards.

bad boy of the north said...

someone famous once said"can't we all get along?"apparently not,and that's too bad.how are we going to change?that's what i'd like to know.
i'm glad no one was hurt this time around.either you,snob,or those chased by the Honda odyssey.....it's a crazy batshit world out there.
oh,yeah...famous person..rodney king

Andrew Kent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bad boy of the north said...

now back to our regularly scheduled program.......

N/A said...

So the idiots that are outraged by the major disruption in their lives caused by waiting a few seconds to pass a person on a bike will all be settled when we all just say, "fuck it" and lease a Hyundai and drive everywhere. More importantly, take up parking spaces everywhere. Now the idiots have to park further away, or pay more for parking, and wait longer at intersections as more time for additional traffic to clear is needed. Good thinking, idiots!


Fuck it, I'm going to go threaten a Honda Odyssey, but not actually succeed in hitting it. Then, egg creams!

N/A said...

I've never really been interested in the "mountain" style of biekways, but it's becoming more and more attractive these days.

dnk said...

Wow. The NYPD said there "was nothing they could do" because "the driver did not succeed in hitting them."

Several years ago I flipped off a driver after she came up behind me, laid on the horn, and yelled "bike lane" at me before speeding off.

The context will be familiar to just about any cyclist: the bike lane was completely blocked by a car and in response I moved out into traffic where I offended this lady (I did not swerve out of the bike lane and into traffic without first looking --- I've been biking in NYC for 20 years and I'm not a moron --- what happened was that this lady was just driving way too fast).

To my utter astonishment, several minutes later I was stopped by NYPD. The lady was there, saying to two officers "that's him, that's him!" Indeed, it was me, the guy who had raised my middle finger at a rude and dangerous driver. One officer stood and consoled the lady, while the other accused me of behaving aggressively toward the woman and contemptuously told me that she "had children in the car." (Point being, the kiddos had to see my middle finger).

In the end, he let me go. But the whole encounter was tense and unpleasant to say the least.

No surprise though that the NYPD cannot be bothered to at least pull over and talk to an aggressive driver who threatens cyclists in the bike lane......

dancesonpedals said...

NYPD seems to be in hiding today. (understandable) At the 125th MNR station, there's usually 2-3 officers doing paperwork in a corner office, with their door open and no blinds on the window. Today it was door shut, blinds drawn. A block away there were no cops in the 125/Lex subway station.

On a lighter note, don't buy an egg cream from a stranger.

N/A said...

Wildcat, can you do another blog? Bike Snob Mountainside?


Fuck it, I'm getting a husky Marin. Possibly a filthy, husky Marin. Then I'm going to get gnar with my bros.

Wait, I'm going to need to get some bros. And learn how to get gnar. Possibly even learn what the hell "get gnar" means.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

smoking draconian crack

N/A said...

I wonder if Hyundai makes ebike motors?

leroy said...

Well of course I had large truck honking behind me as I rolled past Times Square last night even though there was no place to go in a truck.

These days I just wave. Mostly.

Swerved in and out of bike lane along Brooklyn/Queens waterfront to avoid cars & tractor trailers in bike lane this morning. No one in them to even wave to. But at least drivers behind me not actively trying to kill me... this morning. I think.

The world is bat shit crazy. But today, I'm trying not to contribute to the crazy.

Can't vouch for tomorrow. No one can. But I hope I'll do what I can.

It's a short trip no matter where you're going.

Ride safe all.

Simplex Simplicissimus said...

Last night a car pulled up behind me at the light to make a left turn and simply would not allow me to safely turn into the right lane where there happens to be a bike lane because the 30 seconds to accomplish this was simply too much to suffer.

Instead I had to make a left turn into the left lane, which is the designated fast lane iirc from those car classes we all had to take, and probably illegal to have turned into where I live since there was a brand new, Dutch-like bike lane waiting for me had I been allowed to properly turn by a motorist without 30 seconds to spare.

bieks said...

Bum bars, ha! There's a term I haven't heard in like 30 years.

dancesonpedals said...

If you hate riding with cars & haven't warmed to MTBs, there's always your local velodrome.

ubercurmudgeon said...

If you were an evil genius living a hundred years or so ago, and you wanted to create something that would warp civil society, foster selfishness, ravage the environment, dislocate communities, give ordinary people a sensation of power that turns them into the kind of megalomaniacs that previously were restricted to a few royal bloodlines, makes people chase down and kill other people for the sake of a few seconds, but is so damn convenient and conducive to commerce that the authorities will turn a blind eye - you couldn't have done any better than inventing the affordable, mass-produced, internal-combustion engine, private motorcar.

chris gist said...

Citizen Caller: There is a person waiving a handgun and pointing it cars as they drive by. He is threatening and throwing water bottles at them.
NYPD: Well, since he didn't actually hurt anyone, there is nothing we can do.

Sounds pretty f**ing stupid doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

I wonder when the Freds will start to pick up on "bum bars"? That extra leverage would work wonders on those extra steep climbs.

Dick Breaks said...

Where's the fucking quiz, dammit?

And I am renewing my call for fake Ted K. to be the victim of a road rage incident. Stupid fuckin' asshole.

Anonymous said...

The "LFN" bike is Looking For a Name. I imagine this group could help with that. I'll start with "Devolution".

wishiwasmerckx said...

Where will you be when your "1 KM to go" arch's viagra wears off?

Anonymous said...

Sad days here in Canada's lawless and scary underbelly. The common theme in the last couple days of violence is guns. Why the fuck is everyone here walking around with a fucking gun? Because our politicians are spineless and corrupt assholes. Fuck-it, I'm leasing a Hyundai and driving to Canada.

Bryan said...

I can't even...
Between that douche nozzle IN the bike lane and that bum bar bike (Really, don't they know you don't pedal like a piston??) I am at a loss.

CommieCanuck said...

Bum Bars, up here we call them DUI bars, or Who to Buy Weed From bars.

Something like that happened to me in Toronto, called cops, who charged the driver, but all the charges got reduced to some bullshit $100 fine for driving in wrong lane in court when the douchebag showed up with his lawyer. I complained to the judge, and was fined $100 contempt of court because I may have implied a potted plant could sit behind his desk with similar effect. Eat a bag of dicks, traffic court.

Some asshole tried to run you off road with a two ton douche canoe, cops do nothing. Hint a black man stared at you funny, or was driving with a broken tail light, and they show up guns a blazin'.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I don't understand the importance of a bell on a bicycle. It is such an insignificant sound, compared to the relative constant din of an urban environment. it is universlly ignored by motorists, plugged in skaters and pedestrians and even other cyclists. It is the single most useless piece of cycling componentry. i say Air Zound or nothing.

Did a mountainbicycle ride this warm, moist morning. i compare it to a low output lightbulb....low wattage and totally dull.

I hate this weather!

Anonymous said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AMERICA!
Watch your back. Don't escalate anything on the road with anyone ever. That pissed off little old lady is every bit as likely to shoot or run us over as anyone else. This is a deranged, segregated, armed to the teeth society, and we are some of the few who can move about freely. Bring respect, but don't expect it.

Anonymous said...

I got wrapped up in the 1 km to go balloon and came in last but then I was awarded 2nd or something like that....

Anyway, mtn bikes sound great but I am paranoid about the deer ticks. So I lay off them (the mountain biking not the deer ticks) until late fall. What to do? What to do?

Damn, everything is getting so complicated these days.

JLRB said...

I was reading the news about the cop killing in Dallas - some guy in the protest group had an AR15 holstered to his shoulder - which is oddly legal in Texas - he was smart enough to find a cop and turn over his gun - and then noted that he could have been shot. NO SHIT!

BATC RAZY

CommieCanuck said...

There are always idiots who show up to public gatherings with loaded assault rifles...because it's legal, totally, ya know. Gdamed gubmint.

In other countries, they think this is all pretty fucking stupid. True story.

babble on said...

Hardly surprising, is it then, that in 2015 the United Nations issued a scathing assesment of US human rights record, dominated by criticism of the police. Waaaay back in the dark ages, I used to think it might be cool to live down there in scranusville, but now? Nuh huh. America just scares the crap out of me.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Maybe the NYPD should call the cops in Kalamazoo MI. If I recall correctly, last month the Kalamazoo PD was out looking for that fucktard pickup driver due to reports of erratic and aggressive driving before he mowed down 9 cyclists killing 5 of them. The NYPD says nothing we can do about the Honda Odyssey since they didn't succeed in hitting you. But don't get in an off-duty NYC cop's face while he's driving like shit and don't ride a bike in NYC without a bell, that's asking for it.

Matt said...

We moved from Canada to Iowa in 1967. One of the first people my parents met was the guy who redid the kitchen floor before we moved in. His wife shot and killed him two weeks after we arrived.

On Wednesday Mr Castile was shot and killed a mile and a half from me, right by the bar our church choir often goes to after rehearsals.

This shit never stops.

Anonymous said...

um...that's not egg cream.

N/A said...

Why don't you people griping about egg creams just go and put an egg in your shoe and get outta' here!

Jason said...

Inflate the tires for the promotional video? Meh.

Spokey said...


it was pretty toasty out here in the hemorrhoids today. was so lazy riding uphill to home that i went down in to the granny gear. unless it was those two tomatoes in my handlebar bag. yeah that's it.


i jest don't get it. why isn't the honda driver arrested for assault with a deadly weapon? you don't even need to touch someone for it to be assault.



POC;

i have a bell on my comotion. rarely use it but i do along the paths in a local park. near as i can tell, pretty much no one can hear it.


Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Apathetic police means you gotta protect yourself and each other.
Rebar, big ball bearings, the trebuchet to launch these ball bearings, spiked gloves,... look for them in the Specialized catalog under Urban Cyclist.

There's too many criminals out there, oh but the jails are so full they should be emptied, we have the highest incarceration rate bla bla bla ... can't have it both ways. Pieces of shit who would do harm with their land yachts should be incarcerated, that means put in jail.
Cameras cameras cameras. Anyone know how to trace license plates? The cops don't seem to know or care.
Keep a few weight weenie sized rocks handy, or larger.
You never know who has a gun... Well if it's so frikkin easy to get one, arm yourself. I can't keep anything to protect myself in nanny state NY. Not even a 32 oz soda to fling at someone's paint job.
It's sad that it has come to this. But this is where it is.
What was the other word I was looking for - caltrops, those things that sliced my tires last year.

Disclaimer- no violence, love your 4 wheel brothers and sisters...

vsk

BamaPhred said...

"You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at your command"

O'4fuxake said...

It's everywhere, even here in bucolic semi-rural New England. You don't even have to be on a bike: I just got sworn at and flipped off by another motorist because I had the temerity to actually drive my car at the posted 30mph speed limit in a residential zone. Because I didn't speed up when they came roaring up my ass at 50mph, I guess (?)… well, I did have an empty bike rack on the roof, so maybe it was a pre-emptive strike.
It's way too easy to get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle - at least half of the drivers that are out on the road shouldn't be.

Anonymous said...

YEAP BIKE

JuanOffhue said...

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5484/11328882013_b05aa6f5fa_z.jpg

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

O'4,

It must have been some douchebag from 'The City".

Sicko Killer Boy said...

Mr. Sunshine came out to play today and smiled his sunny smile down on me and my bike.

babble on said...

Wow, that was quite a week in snobberland. Well done, you. Girls adore a solid post twice a day, dontcha know.

O'4fuxake said...

POC,

yeah, maybe… but here's the rest of the sad tale: after riding my bumper for a couple miles she split off on a side road only to converge another few miles down the road.

Her urgent destination?

a Burger King.

Spokey said...


O4

i get that shit for driving at the speed limit on a regular basis. it gets even worse if you drive say 5 below the limit. my response: "see that sign with numbers? it's an upper limit . . . idiot (sometimes spoken, sometimes not)".

Shammie Jewse said...

Well aren't we the road rager

Dave said...

A squadron of bike cops in every precinct would be a great thing from several aspects. A ray of hope(?) -

http://www.bikenyc.org/blog/brooklyn-bike-cops-ameri-vision-zero

I don't have any idea how many bike cops there are citywide at present, but I get the impression it is far too few to make any positive impact.

Sure would be nice, though, if there were some kind of universal standard for hiring, such that having incompetent trigger-happy morons in police uniforms would be less likely.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone tried a "Bike Lives Matter" approach or is that just playing with fire in the simmering race war that America is fast becoming?

Anonymous said...

too soon

Anonymous said...

though that would be cool

Anonymous said...

Well it is not too soon for tire pressure matters.

dancesonpedals said...

Anyone up for some component failure porn? While riding home on the Putnam Trail in Van Cortlandt Park last night, my seat post bracket failed. Last year, riding in, I cracked a frame on the same stretch of dirt.

This is the second time in 2 years I've had seat bracket break under me. Torque wrench time?

JLRB said...

DOP you need a dirt trail specific bracket. duh

And in honor of the food element to this week's multiple postings
#whatproteinyourunning

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Some are lamenting thr lack of a quiz this week. I am offering a paltry, inadequate replacement

On todays's ride, while appraching an intersection, where selecting the middle lane to proceed straight, which of the,following vehicles chose to lean on the horn, pass me on the left and shoot across,two lanes of traffic to get into the right turn lane, all within 100 feet of the red light.

A. A Smartcar;
B. A Gremlin
C. An Edsel
D. A behemoth Cadillac Escalade driven by a,self absorbed obese piece of shit

BamaPhred said...

Oh oh oh oh oh pick me pick me
That would be obese piece of shit in Escalade!
Except the one that tried to run me down was driven by a self absorbed, texting, donut totin, soccer mom.
Apparently the Hummer drivers upgraded to Escalades.

Anonymous said...

Is that what Froome was riding down the Peyresoured on Stage 8!!
Schwinn wants an option (possibly).Mega sales ensured (no doubt)

wishiwasmerckx said...

TdF TV highlights:

1) Froome pedals with his scranus on the toptube; saddle manufacturers lose their shit...

2) Commentator's audio feed lost for most of Sunday's stage; most viewers consider it to be an improvement...

ken e. said...

doug's homestead meats, outside hedley, on the crowsnest highway (3a), great blogulation people!

PEPR RONI

Noah Behnke said...

So about that Kickstarter bike- i didn't read through the comments to see if anyone already burst their bubble but- as always. It's been done.

Levocyclette

https://flic.kr/p/9sY5ce