Friday, July 22, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

If you're anything like me, every time you go for a ride you think to yourself, "I sure wish some Silicon Valley start-up would rethink the bicycle!"  Well good news!  Here comes the Volata, which is the combination TV/VCR of road bikes:

So how are they rethinking the hopelessly retrograde bicycles we've all been riding?

Instead of buying a bike and then buying lights and a GPS computer, the founders of Volata Cycles think the whole thing should come as an integrated package. Volata Cycles is launching this summer with an electronic, internal-hub shifting, hydraulic-braking, slick commuter bike that has an app-based computer and front and rear lights all built right in and powered by the front hub.

Brilliant.  A bicycle is a machine that can last you for decades that you can accessorize as needed, whereas electronic gadgets are fickle, disposable items with a shelf life measured in months.  Naturally then you'd want to integrate them instead of changing your accessories as they age or wear out.

Volata Cycles is selling the bike for $3,499 at www.volatacycles.com, asking for a reservation fee of $299 with the remaining balance due upon delivery beginning in July 2017.

I was convinced, so I headed over to Volata's site to configure my new dork sled:


I was able to choose from two colors, four sizes, three saddles...and that was it.

Sure, I would have also liked to specify some other details such as stem length, but when you spend $3,499 for a Volata you have to hope they eventually get around to offering them in different sizes:


Thank you, Silicon Valley, for "disrupting" the versatility and adaptability right out of the bicycle.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then great, and if you're wrong you'll see Cat 3s.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and may we soon be liberated from the heat dome.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) Which "Entourage" star recently doored a cyclist?

--Jeremy Piven
--Kevin Dillon
--Steve Buscemi
--Daniel Day Lewis






2) From July 25th through July 29th, the NYPD will crack down on:

--Drivers who endanger bicyclists
--Bicyclists who endanger drivers
--Officers who block bike lanes
--Bicycles with tires exhibiting excessive tread wear






3) Who is Graham?

--An "interactive lifelike sculpture demonstrating human vulnerability"
--A test subject for New South Wales's experimental helmet implant
--Yet another lame new "Star Wars" character
--A Masters cyclist who took too many PEDs






4) Silca's new T-Ratchet portable torque wrench is yet more proof that carbon fiber is a stupid material for bicycle components.

--True
--False




5) How much for an old wooden baby block at the Brooklyn Flea?

--$.60
--$6.00
--$60.00
--$600.00





6) A person who points to his or her head as you ride by and mouths the word "Helmet!" is called:

--A Helmet Nazi
--A Helmet Mime
--A Safety Kippah Enforcement Agent
--A typical Australian




("What, no helmet?!?")

7) Basically nobody really knows shit about why bikes work.

--True
--False


***Special PSA-Themed Bonus PSA!***



Okay, two things: 1) Seems like more of an anti-bullying PSA than a bike safety PSA; and B) How does a helmet help if you take a 2x4 to the face?

58 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoa, so early!

dana said...

What? 2nd?

TedK said...

Podium

bad boy of the north said...

early to bed early to rise ....what?healmet boy didn't stop and help pick up the bully's face?what are we teaching our kids?

dana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
N/A said...

Graham is a bro that don't need no stinkin' helment!

Bryan said...

Why go for an aero stem and then a totally non aero dick break setup (and, hydro or mech?) Bike commuters are least caring about a bike that is aero. I do want a drop bar bike with an IGH, a la the old school British Club bikes for something different in my stable. They can keep the belt drive. Lame. Overall, not impressed.

Is this how yu make America great again?

BamaPhred said...

Volata - KMN - Enjoy your weekend, brought to you by your local Heat Dome.

Andy said...

Top ten!

JLRB said...

Does the Volata come in Betamax? Laserdisc?

Sax Huret said...

The frame of that dork cycle seems familiar... the current LOOK aero frame I think?

dancesonpedals said...

So, I should be using castor oil to lube my bike?

janinedm said...

About time someone invented generator lights. (Also the CAPTCHA wanted me to click on images of candy but macarons are cookies and not candy)

Eric the Infrequent said...

If your reason for modifying a bicycle involves a comparison to cars you should not do it. Bicycles are not cars.

Anonymous said...

The silca products are ridiculous, but I bet their waxed leather apron reward looks damn sexy on bike mechanics.

dnk said...

Subsequent versions of Volata will no doubt "integrate" shitty bluetooth speakers that crank out distorted noise and are the latest bike accessory fad.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Like the girl in the commercial said:

I SEE you CAR !!!!


vsk

Very Slim Pickens said...

Janinedm @ 1038 once the captcha wanted me to click on motorcycles, dear Captcha Geeks, a Vespa is not a motorcycle.

Heat Dome Beyond Thunder Dome said...

What about a pedal powered air conditioner that pumps AC into a plastic dome surrounding the upper body of the rider. Kicstarter coming up.

janinedm said...

Real talk. If you could invent an inflatable suit like the sumo suit but less huge that circulated cooled air I might be willing to buy one, depending on the size of the battery pack.

Freddy Murcks said...

Bike math: TLDR, but potentially an interesting cure for insomnia.

Slica ShitStarter: Silca is an established company with an R&D budget and a marketing department, right? Why the fuck do established companies think that they need to use KickStarter and who are the dipshits who back these fucking projects> If Silca wants to put out a new, overpriced torquey wrench set for stupid freds, let them make it, market it, and sell it to said stupid freds. I have never backed a KickStarter and I am unlikely to ever do so, but I sure as hell am not going to back a KickStarter for an established company. There ought to be a law! FUCK!

Freddy Murcks said...

Oh, and the Volata is not a bike. It's an example of bad PhotoShop. Although, that probably won't stop a few road freds from concluding that the Volata is THE bike that they need.

crosspalms said...

If they put the computer atop the stem of the Volata, where are they going to put the generator-powered cigarette lighter? Not very well thought through.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Specialized is already selling a bike called the AWOL that has a generator hub, lights and a micro-usb port built into the stem. Maybe Skinyard will sue Volata out of business before they even make a single bike.

If Recumbabe rode a Volata, would she expose her Voltatas?

N/A said...

I am going to Kickstart an e-bike with a generator hub and a USB port in the stem. Then I'll charge the battery for the motor from the generator hub, and it'll run forever! Man, I'll be making mad money!

Heat Dome is Getting Smaller said...

Jeremy Piven turned out to be allright! That's good. Made my day, cuz that PSA was all about bullying and how not to ride a bike - helments had nothing to do with the injuries caused as a result of not even looking at the road.

By the time all the wankers out there are finished with their "improvements" to the bicycle, they will have created a ....Harley Davidson , with A/C, wide screen tv, and a fridge for the cold ones.

Lob have mercy on us all!

And bon weekend 'a tous!

Dooth said...

The Volata would be a perfect bike for Mr Roboto.

Anonymous said...

Two bits passed along from the 1890s:

Not castor oil. Only use the best sperm oil on you bike.

Good to start out the day with an eggnog. Don't forget the rum.

Spokey said...

new quiz record here. got one right.

in other weird science news: a ped stepped off the curb to cross the street right in front of me today. as i swerved, he backed up and "sorry". i did look all around but didn't see either serling or hitchcock.


oh and graham is old hat. just a dr who character from 1985

dancesonpedals said...

Sperm Oil?

Some guy from upstate said...


So I read the blurb from Volata, and immediately thought "yup, because I'd be so happy with the lights and GPS available when I purchased Primary Commuting Bicycle in 1986". Then I read Snob's comments in the next paragraph. Sweet validation!

And sorry to admit it, but I laughed out loud when PSA bully kid catches the 2x4 in the face. Physical comedy always works.

Jefe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jefe said...

The Brain Injury Association? Is membership limited to Republicans?

Anonymous said...

only republicans for clinton

JLRB said...

So Google's self-driving cars learned to read cyclists hand signals .

The article says the car "uses machine learning to remember signals from previous riders so it can better anticipate a biker’s turn down the road." So after it gets flipped the bird it will learn to honk its horn at the next cyclist...

Academie Francais said...

"bon weekend 'a tous!"

Te faire foutre avec le "weekend!"

wishiwasmerckx said...

Janinedm, they tried these cooling vests in NASCAR, but they kept breaking, bathing the drivers in hot water instead of cold.

Anonymous said...

"Use only the best sperm" would be oil from whales.

dop said...

Not the actual sperm them?

DB said...

Heat dome. Need to wash sweat and salt off bike before it dissolves.

Anonymous said...

Wipe off the excess sperm.

It's very important.

dop said...

DB! I had a swim in the Hudson 4 weeks ago. Time for another Sunday.

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

Especially if a dog asks "what's your sign"?

ThaDonald said...

Ba-Leave-Me

Spokey said...

only have about 100 miles on the new bike but i'm thinking of giving up biekeen and take up ice skating.

Anonymous said...

Google: cooling vest

DB said...

dop:
Sorry I didn't get back to you Friday. The Hudson is a fun swim.
Hardest part is jumping 6' from a pier or water taxi into the water.

janinedm said...

Guess I'll have to break down and buy some Hot Girls Pearls. They're or women with menopause apparently. They're basically a necklace where the beads look like pearls, but they're filled with the re-freezable gel they put in ice packs. I fantasized about them this weekend. The Velominati-hter in my loves the idea of wearing a full kit with an inexplicable string of pearls. So win-win.

janinedm said...

Velominati-hater in me

Porn Queen said...

Oh dear, are you going to explain the concept of a pearl necklace to this poor girl, or should I?

JLRB said...

This comment was not plagiarized from a comment 8 years ago

dop said...

DB-

The jump was fine. Swimming with the tide & current behind me was great. The only thing that sucked was the last 30 feet, when my hands went into soft muck as I approached the exit ramp.

please get your hand out of my ass said...

That wasn't soft muck

Mike M. said...

Lieutenant obvious,
Why dis Skinyard?
Mike from Seattle

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I like to ware this Motorcycle jackets and this jackets are so sustainable.

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