This Wednesday Post Is Full of Important Information.

All right, enough messing around already.  Let's get down to business.  I've got a book out, goddamn it:

(Buy ten copies get one smug sense of satisfaction free!)

That means from time to time I crawl out of my hidey-hole and engage with the world, as I did yesterday when I appeared on Wall Street Journal sports columnist and accomplished author Jason Gay's "Free For All" podcast:

Bike Snobbery With Eben Weiss and David Trimble

Jason Gay deep dives into all things cycling with Eben Weiss, the "Bike Snob," and author of "The Ultimate Bicycle Owner's Manual." Then, David Trimble, the man behind the hugely popular bike race, the "Red Hook Criterium," talks international cycling and the latest viral bike-crashes making headlines.

As it happens, this podcast was the perfect length for my evening commute yesterday, and there's nothing like riding through the scintillating streets of Manhattan on a warm spring evening while listening to the sounds of your own voice.  It was inspiring, and I felt like a balder Mary Tyler Moore:

Indeed I may have to start my own damn podcast so I can revel in this sort of aural onanism more often.  Only problem is I'd probably have to have guests, and it's probably difficult to fast-forward over them while riding.

By the way, long-time readers of this blog (all two of you) will recall that Jason Gay is the journalist who officially revealed my identity way back in 2010:

(RIP Scattante)

I owe him a debt of gratitude for that, if only because when my kids get older I'll have something to wave drunkenly in their faces while ranting about how the world once cared about me.

Anyway, it's a good podcast, and for the vinyl enthusiasts out there I'm working on an app that will overlay the sound of crackling and popping over whatever audio track you're listening to, so that's two (2) reasons to listen right there.

And while I'm taking care of business, I'm now officially announcing a date for The BSNYC Gran Fondon't!

My initial intent (and the whole concept behind the Gran Fondon't in the first place) was to do it on the same day as the Gran Fondo New York, which takes place on May 15th.  Alas, that date's no good for me this year (I'm studying for my Bar Mitzvah), so I've finally decided to bump it to the following weekend.

As for the details, I'll provide more details in due course, but figure it will look something like this:

--Early morning start in the far northern reaches of the city;
--50-ish miles of mixed terrain;
--Finish at a convenient point where beer and food will be available for purchase and consumption.

If you were there last year you more or less know the drill, only this year it will be better because you've all been training since then.

Most importantly, let's not make a whole big thing about it.  It's just a Saturday ride.  If you travel any further than, say, New Jersey for this you're crazy.

Meanwhile, in entrepreneurial news, this may very well be the greatest Kickstarter ever kickstarted:

(Via @000panther)

Yeah, that's right, now you can rig your fixie with an exploding charge under the pretense of thwarting thieves:

When tripped by a thief, BIKE MINE detonates a 150db blast of sound; more than enough to startle a thief and raise the alarm. It's a simple, low-tech idea that protects your bicycle, motorbike, boat or jet ski - or anything else that's stored on your property.

This may very well be the first bicycle theft-prevention device inspired by an episode of "The Young Ones:"


And while I'm somewhat skeptical of its efficacy, it certainly is a refreshing (if deafening) alternative to all these smart locks and GPS theft-trackers.

Here's some background on the inventor:

Risks and challenges

If you Google my name you'll see some of the other things I've invented. I already have two Guinness World Records to my name for previous designs. One of them is for the world's loudest bicycle horn. If nothing else, be reassured that I know how to see a project through to completion. I'm a competent engineer and this initial run of BIKE MINES will be assembled by me personally. Although this approach is more labour intensive than farming the job out to a third party, it means I'm not in the hands of suppliers thousands of miles away. The successful funding of this project will pay for the tools required for batch production.

Oh sure, selling homemade explosive devices on the Internet sounds like a very sound business model.  I'm sure this will be a tremendous success.  Though I did run his name through a popular search engine as he suggested, and it turns out he also did the pyrotechnics for Letle Viride's 1978 world tour:

If you were there you know how awesome they were, though unless you were wearing safety gear and a flame-retardant suit you're also probably disfigured somehow.

Anyway, you should seriously consider funding this project, if for no other reason than if this thing takes off and he's serious about making them all himself he'll probably need the money for some prosthetic digits.

Lastly, speaking of safety gear, apparently the most prestigious accolade in Delaware is the Golden Bicycle Helmet:

At the annual Walkable Bikeable Delaware Summit on Thursday, Delaware’s highest award for service to cycling – only awarded twice before – went to Governor Jack Markell.

Presumably it will take pride of place on his mantle, right beside his Bronze Pie Plate.