Let's hear it for America, Land of the Fee, Home of the Traffic!
And now, because you're cutting out of work early to go for a ride (or at least I am, if you're not that sucks for you) I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel really good about yourself, and if you're wrong you'll despair and also see an "oopsie."
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and remember to celebrate Memorial Day the American way--by idling in bumper-to-bumper beach traffic and burning cheap gas for hours!
See you Tuesday,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
--Pair of designer sunglasses
2) Retired cyclist and race promoter Eddy Merckx once tortured a dissident with a searing hot disc brake rotor.
--Not enough information at this time
3) Which law enforcement agency will now be riding Budnitz bicycles?
--The Burlington, VT Police Department
--The Boulder, CO Police Department
--The New York City Police Department, Special Gentrification Task Force
--The Bahrain National Security Apparatus
4) A "Velojackr" is:
--Someone who steals bikes
--An exhibitionist who exposes himself while riding a bicycle
--An integrated water bottle/bicycle stand
--All of the above
(Not a Nazi, just a casual fan of Reinhard Heydrich and the SS.)
5) Metal band Slayer's balance bike "collabo" is called:
--The Captor of Sin
--The Slayer Balance Bike
--The Li'l Goebbels
(Just another jack-tard)
6) Silicon Valley is turning us into a bunch of "connected" douchebags and it has to fucking stop already.
7) Connected douchebags rejoice! Google has patented:
--A self-driving bicycle
--An automaton who can drive a car
--A full-face bicycle helmet that uses an interactive LED display instead of a clear face shield
--An adhesive hood that pedestrians will stick to when they're hit by self-driving cars
***Special "You Know, This Bike Thing Just Might Catch On"-Themed Bonus Video!***