Friday, April 29, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Firstly, tomorrow's the big day!


The way it's going to go down is that we're going to meet at the clock in Grand Central at 11:00am.  We'll discuss routes, folding techniques, and vital issues of the day for a half-hour, then at 11:30am we'll roll on down to the Bike Expo New York:


Where I'll sign copies of my new book at Brompton's booth at 1:00pm, together with Redbeard Bikes:


Technically it's not available until May 3rd, so you'll be getting a jump on things.

Plus, play your cards right and you could get one of these, while supplies last:


AND I will probably scare up some more stuff to give away too.

So there you go.

And of course for those of you who prefer to attend bike book events west of the Hudson, we've got a ride/signing going on at Little City Books in Hoboken on Saturday, May 7th:


Amazing.

Secondly, the artisanal bicycle bell craze shows no signs of abating, and now someone's selling a cowbell for mountain bikers:


Don't put one on your genteel Brompton though or you might find yourself getting chased by butlers.

And now I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see Pachyderm "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and hope to see you tomorrow.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) The correct answer is:

--The helmet
--The banana
--The doll
--The smartphone






2) Helmets schmelmets, this is a clear violation of section 8-14 of the City of Phoenix municipal code concerning dogs and leashes.

--True
--False




3) Which is not among the reasons to ride a fixie according to a recent article in Bicycling magazine?

--"It’s an act of rebellion."
--"A fixed-gear has at least as much stopping power as a beach cruiser with a coaster brake."
--"Fixies can even go backward, so if a lane of traffic closes, just reverse and try a different path though a maze of stopped cars."
--"It's a zen thing, you're totally connected to the bike."








4) According to SRAM road PR manager Michael Zellmann, road bikes now need disc brakes because they have motors in them.

--True
--False




(In retrospect when her bike was dragging her up the hills it was pretty obvious.)

5) What is Femke van den Driessche's punishment for using a motorized bicycle?

--A six-year suspension and a fine of 20,000 Swiss francs
--A six-month suspension and a fine of 2,000 Swiss francs
--A lifetime ban and a fine of 2,000,000 Swiss francs
--A lucrative sponsorship deal with a chain of Belgian car washes and a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax






6) Apparently you can buy Tour de France champion Chris Froome's bike at the Peel Regional Police Bicycle Auction in Ontario, Canada.

--True
--False




(Another oversized smartphone case with wheels.)

7) Enough with the goddam "smart bikes" already!  Please feel free to cram your useless angular crabon hunk of crap:

--In your ear
--Down your throat
--Up your ass
--All of the above



***Special Groovy 1970s Propaganda-themed Bonus Video, Man!***



Have we learned nothing?

59 comments:

dnk said...

Top of the pops!

Top O' Heap said...

Top

Batteries Anyone? said...

Third Electric Banana

NYCHighwheeler said...

Five Boro Bike Tour on the P -Far!

Weather permitting anyway.

Also, the WMBA Fat Tire Fest at Blue Mountain Reservation in Peekskill NY is coming up June 12th!

http://wmba.org/?page_id=1012


Ga Gush said...

"Ga-Gush" sounds like it has to have something to do with Pineapples.

N/A said...

I can affirm that I have learned nothing.

Mr. Lund said...

Nice kit on David Byrne - WTF

Lund

N/A said...

There once was a lass in no rush
to have anything placed in her tush
All protests were in vain,
her suitor's intent was quite plain
As he slipped in the back with a "Ga-Gush"

dancesonpedals said...

number 9

The Donald will make Phoenix Great Again said...

N/A@1005 - Have you gone crazy? Posting such a thing where the helmet less children of Phoenix can see it? Why you should have your mouth washed out with Pineapple Juice.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

concerning question #7 I am available all weekend for "all of the above"

Spokey said...


<sniff>

i wish i cooda been a contender

Spokey said...


and a new low for me. just 2 right

i did notice that blue car in the video at :45 has what appears to be "i've already taken out a bike today" dent in his front right. and what the hell is that guy doing? adjust his front break while riding down the road? obviously he needs dik brakes.

DB said...

Have fun tomorrow, I won't be able to join you due to the large number of states between Illinois and New York, and I'd probably get behind a Ted Cruz bus in Indiana and get slowed down or beaten up at a Trump rally.
I'd really like one of those caps, though. Please give a spare to Leroy's Dog. I'll trade him wine and cheese for it.

Anonymous said...

Your ad for tomorrow's ride has the What, When, Where and How, but you conveniently seemed to have skipped the Why...

N/A said...

Why: To raise awareness of Devon's plight.

leroy said...

Someone, I'm not saying who, saw question 2 and protested "Oh sure blame the dog, like it's always the dog's fault."

All I know is if I were to show up at Grand Central tomorrow morning, I sure could use a free BSNYC sun bonnet with visor to protect me from the hazards of riding with a dog.

I mean, in addition to tomorrow morning's Blessing of the Bikes at 9:30 at the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine at 116th & Amsterdam.

Ride safe all!

bieks said...

Oh man, a cow bell. I thought it was a cup holder for your paper charbucks cup that plugged up the sippy hole in the lid so you don't dribble your triple-skinny lactose-free no foam 1/2 sweet peppermint 187 degree bacon infused horse-free venti mochacinno.

crosspalms said...

Haven't heard "Peace Train" in a while, that's quite a video. Hope the ride tomorrow is fun, sorry I can't make it. But we're supposed to get a new dishwasher, so the weekend won't be a complete loss...

Bromptonaut said...

Sorry not to be able to join you tomorrow due to the large expanse of water between here in Eric the Chamferer's hood and your place. I'll take the Brompton out for a non-butlered spin anyway.

balls™ said...

What the world *really* needs is a self-driving (riding?) bicycle.

What's that? I can't hear you, I have a smart-bike in my ear.

Yusuf Islam said...

I never did get any royalties from those guys.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Who sits on a pineapple instead of a seat?
Bike Snob New York
All surly and crusty, sarcastic is he
Bike Snob New York
If Vision Zero is something you wish
Bike Snob New York
Then ride in the street til a truck makes you squish

bad boy of the north said...

I received my copy at woo hoo hoo hoo speed.a keeper fersure...

N/A said...

POC @ 12:35
Ahahahaha, well done, dude!


Something is inspiring whimsical poetical form today, and I approve!

When the Bullet Hits the Bone said...

Cipo always yells "Ga-Gush" when the Pineapple hits the Uvula.

Left Coast Rider said...

Would love to meet under the clock, but there's 2,443 miles tween San Diego and the clock, and that's as a crow flies. And who am I kidding, riding a Brompt through Red States, no way all of the bullets would miss me.

Anonymous said...

So anyway, as instructed I pre-ordered your book on Amazon which I'm patiently waiting to receive. But now you're telling me that I could have gotten a signed copy instead?! So the jokes on me, I guess. Thanks very much Wildcat Jerk-machine.

70s cyclist said...

Fuck it, I'm leasing a Gremlin.

JLRB said...

Leroy - Do they offer Bike Confessions as well? ("Bless me Father for I have sinned - I've been secreting a motor in my seat tube for years")

JLRB said...

Anon @ 1:27 - don't worry - I'll sign your copy for you

JLRB said...

When were helments invented anyway? Only one in that 70's show ...

JLRB said...

I've got the place all too myself

wats7 said...

If I'm not mistaken, the first guy in that video is no doubt Robert Redford right before he got the Sundance Kid gig. Inspired Paul Newman to ride the bike in the movie.

1904 Cadardi said...

Quick survey: Who else has Cat Stevens stuck in their head and the urge to grow a porn-star mustache?

(robotest: Find all the bananas. And not one picture of a helmetless child.)

dancesonpedals said...

Mary drops her pants by the sand

Let a parson, come and take her hand

What the soul of nobody knows

Where does the parson go?

I can't get Longer Boats to stop.;

Anonymous said...

more like schlonger boats am i right

Bret, the TTTSWRFFTPTD said...

I used my time-traveling skills to go to the expo already. It was/will be baller. See you tomorrow! :)•

Bonnie Eetsjism said...

You have no idea what I had to put up wih in high school.

Chef Cipo said...

Are Pineapples one of the ingredients in a Fluffernutter Sandwich, or is it just the Fluff and nuts?

Alan Hale Jr said...

Devon may come by to say hello to my little buddy

JLRB said...

I'd love to join the BikeExpo or Hobo book signing, but I am holding out for a DC location.

And when you come here make it a book singing to keep things fresh.

Hamid Karzai said...

I'm missing a suitcase full of American Currency, if it is found at the Bike Expo, please return it to me at The Plaza Hotel. REWARD, need I say more capitalist dogs.

Gilligan said...

Alan Hale at 449: Devon's come and gone on to your address. PS I recommend you have Pineapple in the house.

P. Bateman said...

I really like that elephant.

Dave said...

Mississippi queen
you know what I mean


Actually I never figured that out - I have learned nothing

except

MORE COWBELL

Anonymous said...

Hey Snob: with early-onset Alzheimer's I neglected to note that your attendence at the Expo would only be Sunday, as I was told today at the Brompton booth on 'Coney Island Avenue'.
With your publishing duties there Sunday, you are probably limited in seeing what else is going on there, but if time permits, definitely swing by the 'Cycle Monkey' booth (on 'Mosholu Pkwy', the next 'avenue' east and a few doors south of you) to check out what has to be the most complex piece of bicycle machinery ever built: the 'Rohloff 14-speed internally geared hub'.
They have a 'cut-away' hub on view, and a swear it looks like a miniature GM automatic 'torqueflight' transmission.
Also featured at the table are: 'Schlumpf Innovations two-speed planetary gear crank-bottom bracket systems', also from Germany, home of the ultra-Fred?

Anonymous said...

Apologies: see the 'Rohloff Speed Hub Maintenance' page, which has a cutaway of the bicycle transmission, and an ultra-trippy vimeo:
http://www.cyclemonkey.com/rohloff-service.shtml

McFly said...

Devon = Ga Gush

K-Niner said...

I think the greater the diameter of your wheels, the larger the dog you can ride over without injury. However, I'm not sure if the psi should be adjusted according to the breed.

Lee said...

that movie is amazing. I can't believe it cuts off before the end! this seems to be the only version online and it's 8 min short. it's slow moving (!) but presents the hazards of bike/car mix really well-from both sides. very cool. I would love to see the rest of it (I'm serious)!
-Lee Ranaldo

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

We have learned nothing-certainly not since 1939 when Bobby signaled right to torn left.

Lob is smiling down on Snob and his fellow Bromptonauts, it will not rain today for his ride!

Anonymous said...

Forographia por favor

ken e. said...

B.R.A. related envy ensued! safe riding y'all!

@lee ranaldo, you're cool!!! why am i never really surprised by who is an avid biker?

Epic grooviness said...

Since the 70s, i've learned not to blow dry my hair, other than that, not much.

JLRB said...

According to a certain ragazine the Shut Up Legs line of clothing is in the same colorway as the WooHooHoo line of clothing

Anonymous said...

I like the new design of the cap! Are these also for sale?

dop said...

Podium!!!

oh, fucko...

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