:
(I told everyone I know, but I mumbled the "in bike repair" part.)
This is even more impressive when you consider the book's not even really about bike repair.
Anyway, if you still haven't pre-ordered or you missed yesterday's post and didn't realize I had a new book coming then here's everything you need to know.
Moving on, are you into light metal?
No, I'm not talking about the musical styling of bands like Stryper:
(Their look could give you a seizure, but their music just put you to sleep.)
I'm talking about a revolutionary new high-performance bicycle made from a space-aged material called "aluminum:"
Pretty sure Manaia opened for Queensrÿche on the "Grätüitöüs Umläüts" tour in 1988:
Anyway, the Manaia is "redesigned:"
By which I assume they mean they put cheesy tribal tattoo graphics at crucial stress points:
(That's called a "douche gusset")
It's also a dream...
Made for...
Gigantic Freds:
With visors:
Best of all, it's even strain gauge tested:
Which means they hooked the rider up to a Scranulator 2000 and measured the g-force on his perineum:
So there you go.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's great, and if you're wrong you'll hear an angry Australian*.
*(Warning: contains a naughty word beginning with "F" so don't get the wrong answer at work.)
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and avoid any bicycle that hasn't been strain gauge tested.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
("It's like a rocket ship!")
1) In addition to Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, and Trump Shuttle, there was also a short-lived company called Trump Bikes.
--True
--False
2) Why is this cyclist covering his mouth?
--He's just become one of the first cyclists to get hit with New South Wales's $319 no-helmet fine
--He is vomiting
--The officer has just insulted his bow tie and he is aghast
--He's swallowing his stash
3) Which is not punishable by fine in New South Wales, Australia?
--"ride bicycle furiously"
--"not sit astride bicycle rider's seat"
--"ride bicycle in incorrect position"
--"ride recumbent style bicycle without beard"
--A free helmet giveaway on the day the system opens
--A kiosk that dispenses inflatable helmets
--A basket containing a helmet with a disposable liner
--A 50% increase in fines
("The tape dispenser"?)
5) Knog's new bell is called the:
--"Oi"
--"Oy"
--"Goy"
--"Da fukout da way"
6) What is the purpose of this canister?
--It contains biodiesel
--It contains compressed air
--It contains craft beer
--It contains patchouli
7) A mountain biker on a London-bound train offended his fellow passengers by:
--Taking up too many seats
--Using obscene language while making a "vlog" about his ride with his phone
--Running inappropriate tire pressure for the trail conditions
--Wanking and farting
***Special Historical Bonus Video!***
Amphetamine is a hell of a drug.
83 comments:
Good morning, peeps!
One more lap?
Rounding out the podium, and I read it!
Note 20. (Paragraph 124) For a further example of undesirable consequences of medical progress, suppose a reliable cure for cancer is discovered. Even if the treatment is too expensive to be available to any but the elite, it will greatly reduce their incentive to stop the escape of carcinogens into the environment.
top ten again for the win
I couldn't quite read all of the new Aussie cycling prohibitions. Did the NSW law forbid riding a bike regularly"? or was it negligently? I would believe either one...
And does being negligent include forgoing your drivetrain maintenance until you sound like a pillow case full of mice?
almost aced it.
trump hates bicyclists or maybe just john Kerry.
scrapped in. respect
Huh? What?
Can't wait to get my new book!
Love the stickers.
HAPY FRDY
MORE BABE
Loved the Nazi flag at the beginning of the Six Day video.
Was Trump a sponsor?
The Manaia Kickstarter was at $39.33 when today's BSNYC post dropped. We will see the same thing happens to aluminum bikes as happen to the aluminum ring bike bell Kickstarter Mr. Snob mentioned in Wednesday's blog.
vsk said ...
Epic snow dusting ...
vsk
Good morning! Have a nice weekend!
17th, Scranus!
The squatty potty ad before the six day race was the best part!
The Scranulator 2000 looks much more user friendly than the older and now obsolete Scranulator 750 w/Anal Locating Probe and Nut Clamps.
So the Tired Bikes Mañana is also a drift bike, but I had to watch the whole video to learn that. Drift bikes could be a whole new phenomenon like gravel bikes. Right now they've raised $39 from two backers on kickstarter.
The little engine compressed air bike is pretty cool. I got the answer right even though I had to guess. One thing I didn't see in that. Do you fill up the compressed air tank by pedaling, from an air compressor, or both? If it's both, when filled up from pedaling it's almost a perpetual motion machine. Cory Little needs to get one of those bikes from the '70s or '80s where the bottom bracket had a freewheel mechanism. Then you could keep your feet on the pedals while using the compressed air for forward motion without having to pedal.
The kickstarter bike says "The lack of a traditional seat post allows for more honking and greater comfort when cycling over longer distances. "
Honking? I can't work out what they actually meant there.
It may lead to fame and fortune, but it's darned hard work!
Congrats on the new book snob. Probably much less effort expended than one of those 6 day guys put out and (hopefully) more rewarding.
" Cory Little needs to get one of those bikes from the '70s or '80s where the bottom bracket had a freewheel mechanism. Then you could keep your feet on the pedals while using the compressed air for forward motion without having to pedal.
Or use a system like this kickstarter, that the Snob linked to about a year and a half ago.
Motion of the crank opens and closes the air valves from the tank, so the compressed air power assist is always in sync with your feet pushing the pedals, not fighting you.
Was that a swastika at about 5 seconds into the special historical theme video?
Or the logo for Trump Bikes?
"historical *bonus* video"
swastika-themed
None of the riders in the bonus video were wearing helmets. I bet they are all dead now!
Ha! Aced the quiz again!
To celebrate, I logged into Amazon, and "down-voted" everyone who gave Snob's newest book 3-stars-or-less. Take that, you ungrateful bicycle poseurs!
Grätüitöüs Umläüts
awesome
Fake side-boob tease at 0:28 of the light metal vid. It reminds me that I haven't seen recumbabe 'round these parts lately.
"Do you fill up the compressed air tank by pedaling, from an air compressor, or both? If it's both, when filled up from pedaling it's almost a perpetual motion machine."
Or rig it so you can run the air pump backwards when coasting down a steep hill, applying braking and re-filling the tank. Like the regenerative braking on a Prius.
top 31 ninjas. suck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
happy friday.
One Way Ticket to Side Boob City
Well if I did market a bike, I promise you it would be better than any other bike out there and better looking, too! All of the current bike companies are owned by losers! Eddy Merckx for example; everyone thinks he's so great, but no one talks about the fact that he LOST most of the races he entered. LOSER!
umm, nazi party was officially called the National Socialist German Workers' Party.
note the word Socialist
"nazi party was officially called the National Socialist German Workers' Party.
note the word Socialist"
The Nazis were (are) noted lairs. Among the many things they lied about was the word Socialist in their name. When they got in power they established a fascist government and economy , not Socialist.
The Nazi party was pretty lame. They didn't dance, and their punch didn't have a block of sherbet floating in it. Also, their cole slaw gave everybody food poisoning. Also, and you didn't hear this from me, they put generic potato chips in those Lays bags.
Air propulsion is not a bad idea. $0.50 at an urban gas station to turn on the compressor. Free air at a bieking shop. Not a difficult thing to source and cheap.
Is it lighter than a battery setup? Is it cartoon style whhhooooosh!!! turbo power? Or, can you make it predictable like a throttle?
C'mon mechanical engineers!! Tell me!!
The Oi! seems like it might be a fucking ripoff. And why does Knog, which is an established company, need to use KickStarter to finance introduction of a new product? That seems like a shit ton of bullshit to me.
My version of the historical video didn't have any nazi flags, blessed be. Just a British guy commenting on an American race. But the link to facist government and economy explained it this way:
Profit is private and individual. Loss is public and social.
Exactly like the prime mortgage debacle the American taxpayers paid for in 2008. Chris Hedges says that the US is a protofascist state, that Americans are the victims of a slow motion corporate coup, and that y'all remain largely unaware of the dangers you face. Wake up, my peeps. The world needs you to hold your government accountable. Mind you, the same bullshit story is playing out here...
Sigh. I need a bike ride.
Yes, I just reviewed the old timey bicycle race from MSG and that IS a Nazi flag! Must have been some German team from the early 30's.
No podium today.
N/A 146 "The Nazi party was pretty lame. They didn't dance, and their punch didn't have a block of sherbet floating in it. Also, their cole slaw gave everybody food poisoning. Also, and you didn't hear this from me, they put generic potato chips in those Lays bags."
They also secretly ate potato latkes; loved them, wolfed down as many as a stomach could hold. When the Nazi Checkout Cashier would inquire as to why their customers bought so many potatoes, customers would reply "for the Sauerbraten". Salutes would be exchanged and everyone would go about their business.
...ahh, those Nazis. Such a bunch of jokers.
Kinda makes you pine for simpler days gone by.
Relax, those times will be back before you know it, courtesy of president Trump.
Yeah, read "In the Garden of Beasts" by Kirk Lawson about Berlin 1933-34 and you will get the creeps. What a lovely bunch those SS guys were.
I need a ride to get last night's "debate" out of my mind.
Both of my Knog lights would only work in Seizure Mode.
I hope the bell is not the same way.
BRNGGGG BRNGGGG BRNGGGG BRNGGGG BRNGGGG BRNGGGG
Well of course I ordered a bell to put me in touch with my spirit animal.
On an unrelated note, amphetamine is a hell of a drug, but as I've admonished my dog on more than one occasion, controlled substances are no excuse for destroying a perfectly good couch while instructing its owner to have carnal knowledge of said couch.
And swallowing someone else's stash for them is not what I meant by "ride safe all."
Anon @2:25 - In the Garden of Beasts is by Erik Larson. I agree that it is a chilling depiction of life in Germany in the early 1930s, however. There was hardly a Nazi officer that Martha Dodd wouldn't fuck.
Maybe if the book were titled Scranus and the Art of Bicycle Maintenance, readers would expect more than lessons on bike repair
Mr. Brunel - The article does mention a "regenerative" system under development, presumably like what you describe. I think that's a neat idea, I don't know if any E-bikes use regenerative braking or store energy while you pedal on the flats to use uphill, etc, but it makes obvious sense. Nice bridges, by the way.
Also we should note that if the tank is filled from a compressor, the bike is actually powered by sun or wind or nuclear fission or dead dinosaurs depending on where the electricity comes from.
Finally, I worry a bit about a tank stout enough to hold the planned 3400 psi and light enough to be practical on a bike. Back in the late 19th century, the Journal of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers had a regular feature called "Fatal Boiler Explosions This Week". At least in this case the shrapnel would not be hot.
"Finally, I worry a bit about a tank stout enough to hold the planned 3400 psi and light enough to be practical on a bike. Back in the late 19th century, the Journal of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers had a regular feature called "Fatal Boiler Explosions This Week"
Scuba tank explosions might be a better analogy for a misshap with a tank on a compressed air bicycle. I think Myth Busters did a segment on this where they broke the valve off a scuba tank and created the missile that busted through several block walls. I can't find that video; these are the closet I found:
Broken Cylinder Valves
But of course all of this pales in comparison to the worst case scenario of a car with a full tank of gas.
Ted summarizes why he is a brain dead moron near end of his contradictory musings:
231. Throughout this article we’ve made imprecise statements and statements that ought to have had all sorts of qualifications and reservations attached to them; and some of our statements may be flatly false. Lack of sufficient information and the NEED FOR BREVITY (ROTFLMAO) made it impossible for us to formulate our assertions more precisely or add all the necessary qualifications (yeah, like how all of this should be qualified as Bullshit).
But today's pathetic drooling is particularly moronic even by his standards, standards so low he was totally rejected by the "anarchist (zine-like) press":
"Even if the treatment is too expensive to be available to any but the elite, it will greatly reduce their incentive to stop the escape of carcinogens into the environment."
Really Blowjob Ted, the industrialists are currently stopping the escape of carcinogens into the environment????
Snobby, you left out Trump University of Higher learning (where you can learn how to fake a heel spur to keep you from getting drafted in our next glorious war)
PS....Sorry, I couldn't help myself)
EW, Does writing a book take "tons of beef steak"?
Just saw on Twitter, Trump and his KKK goons will go after the big handed bike bloggers first.
People are joking about Trump and the Nazis - the swastika in the old-timey video - but lemme take you full circle. Look at question 1, there's a German flag behind him. CONSPIRACY! IT MEANS SOMETHING! etc.
I put my Canadian citizenship app in the mail today. Or rather, handed it to my wife who will presumably mail it soon. Not because of Trump mind you. Because A) he ain't all that and B) it's not like being in Canada protects you from America anymore. Shit I bet Trump makes all Canadians start paying US taxes. You want to be protected from America you gotta run all the way to Putin. Ed Snowden knows this.
I heard on the radio that gargle searches for something like "How do I move to Canada" went up %1,500 after the latest Republican debate. And that the Canadian immigration website crashed that day from too much traffic...
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that all of those people leaving the country are Trump supporters... Sorry (not sorry!) Canada.
Here's a graph of the spike in searches for "How to Move to Canada":
google trends
Here's a link to the story: NPR
I knew this girl, years ago, at school, who thought that Stryper were amazing. SHE WAS WRONG.
Scranus
I am told that the Canadian citizenship test consists entirely of consuming a healthy-sized serving of poutine whilst downing a couple of Molsons. Could have been a couple of Labatts, I'm not really sure.
wishiwasmerckx,
Proper Canadian grammar is tested as well, e.g. using Eh? as both interrogative and declarative in the same sentence.
Fine Art - Cinelli Campagnolo 50th Gruppo - $12000
I can see Canada on my Bike ride to work. It looks like only a dump Trump would love to build a tower on. Oh rats. He already did. https://www.trumphotelcollection.com/toronto/
Hey Frickus - how hilarious is it that (according to Goggle's map) Vermonters showed the most interest in the topic?
The RCMP tend to shoot less non-caucasiods their Southern counterparts.
than
What better way to glorify the lord than with a shitty band?
The LORD works in mysterious ways and who are we as SINNERS to question HIM and his choice of music and/or bands that praises HIM and the righteousness that HE bestows upon us. Amen.
Fat bikes are slow but if one was to deny it food then one could make it fast.
Squire, bring me my Road Blade
Visit Vancouver. You can get ELEVEN $29 helment tickets for the price one one Sydney ticket!
"The RCMP tend to shoot less non-caucasiods their Southern counterparts."
Fewer not less
Also caucasoids not caucasiods.
Life has brought me to Florida for the weekend.
I saw some Redneck Freds
Dear Grammar Grandma,
Sorry about that, I must have been drunk.
dop,liked the "redneck feds" vid.
perhaps,most everyone have seen or heard about the tucson,az bicycle incident.deaths and injuries involved and this time,criminality suspected.sympathies to those on the unfortunate receiving end.
I used to think Seattle was cool. But their bike share program might be the 1st bike share to close in the u.s.a. due to their fucking helmet law. Mexico city and even Dallas have changed their fucking helmet laws. So Seattle is not as cool as Dallas (Washington is still cooler than Texas), and Dallas isn't all that cool (though they do have kick-ass mass transit which is way fast)
"THE ULTIMATE CRIMEFIGHTER'S MANUAL
The Universal Guide to Criminals, Fighting, and Everything for Beginner and Seasoned Costumed Vigilantes"
'by Batman himself' OR 'Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. the Batman"
And 'Manuel', he is Vito's cousin? Are these publishers noobs or pros?
Thanks, Putnam. I just hope Bamaphred, McFly & PB are cool with it.
Vancouver's bike share program will be the envy of all bike share programs, it will not fail. The helmet wearing aspects of this fair city will be embraced by one and all. I weep with joy at the thought of happy bike share cyclists filling the streets of Lotusland with legally appropriate headgear.
You can't wear a NSW approved bicycle helmet in Vancouver or a Vancouver approved bicycle helmet in NSW - just sayin.
The people who hate the Industry Society and its Future posts, who say it should not be read, are reading ahead and are posting future paragraphs here.
Oh the irony.
dop.....i'm sure they'll be.
NON-CYCLING NEWS FLASH ALERT!
Did anyone happen to catch the U.S. Womens versus the French Mademoistelles soccer match yesterday? Did you see Alex Morgan score with like .000002 seconds left FTW?
I was there. I WAS FOOKIN THAR.
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