(I told everyone I know, but I mumbled the "in bike repair" part.)
This is even more impressive when you consider the book's not even really about bike repair.
Anyway, if you still haven't pre-ordered or you missed yesterday's post and didn't realize I had a new book coming then here's everything you need to know.
Moving on, are you into light metal?
No, I'm not talking about the musical styling of bands like Stryper:
(Their look could give you a seizure, but their music just put you to sleep.)
I'm talking about a revolutionary new high-performance bicycle made from a space-aged material called "aluminum:"
Pretty sure Manaia opened for Queensrÿche on the "Grätüitöüs Umläüts" tour in 1988:
Anyway, the Manaia is "redesigned:"
By which I assume they mean they put cheesy tribal tattoo graphics at crucial stress points:
(That's called a "douche gusset")
It's also a dream...
Best of all, it's even strain gauge tested:
Which means they hooked the rider up to a Scranulator 2000 and measured the g-force on his perineum:
So there you go.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's great, and if you're wrong you'll hear an angry Australian*.
*(Warning: contains a naughty word beginning with "F" so don't get the wrong answer at work.)
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and avoid any bicycle that hasn't been strain gauge tested.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
("It's like a rocket ship!")
1) In addition to Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, and Trump Shuttle, there was also a short-lived company called Trump Bikes.
2) Why is this cyclist covering his mouth?
--He's just become one of the first cyclists to get hit with New South Wales's $319 no-helmet fine
--He is vomiting
--The officer has just insulted his bow tie and he is aghast
--He's swallowing his stash
3) Which is not punishable by fine in New South Wales, Australia?
--"ride bicycle furiously"
--"not sit astride bicycle rider's seat"
--"ride bicycle in incorrect position"
--"ride recumbent style bicycle without beard"
--A free helmet giveaway on the day the system opens
--A kiosk that dispenses inflatable helmets
--A basket containing a helmet with a disposable liner
--A 50% increase in fines
("The tape dispenser"?)
5) Knog's new bell is called the:
--"Da fukout da way"
6) What is the purpose of this canister?
--It contains biodiesel
--It contains compressed air
--It contains craft beer
--It contains patchouli
7) A mountain biker on a London-bound train offended his fellow passengers by:
--Taking up too many seats
--Using obscene language while making a "vlog" about his ride with his phone
--Running inappropriate tire pressure for the trail conditions
--Wanking and farting
***Special Historical Bonus Video!***
Amphetamine is a hell of a drug.