(Click here for some city-sanctioned victim-blaming.)
Oh, sorry, did I type "pedestrians?" Because I meant drivers, like this homicidal moron who crashed into the Go Anus Anal after doing his best to rub out a mother and her baby:
Well yeah, technically it's the "Gowanus Canal," but only tourists call it that. If you want to sound like a real local, be sure to call it the "Go Anus Anal," especially when asking for directions:
Anyway, so this guy hits a woman as she's loading her baby into her Toyota Camry:
Murphy allegedly struck a 41-year-old woman at Degraw and Court Street as she was putting her 1-year-old baby into her Toyota Camry, police sources said.
Then he flees at high speed, at which point he drives his Audi right into the drink:
Murphy then fled three blocks down Degraw but ran out of room on the icy, dead-end street. The car plummeted into the water around 11:15 a.m., sources said.
“What caught my attention was the speed of the car. It was going around 70, 80 mph,” said Maurice Deas, 36, who works on the set for the TV show “The Americans.”
And is ultimately rescued by a couple of bystanders:
Murphy was able to open the door – even as the car started to sink – and managed to escape, with Deas and another man helping him out of the freezing water.
Deas said Murphy, who was wet up to the ankles, was visibly shaken up.
“He was a little out of it. He kept saying he was an Iraqi war veteran,” said Deas. “He was a little delirious. He kept saying the ice made him slip. He was trying to stop.”
Wow, there's no way I would have helped that guy. "Thank you for your service," I've had said while saluting as I watched the icy, gonorrhea-ridden "waters" (to the extent you can call that water) of the Go Anus claim him.
A captain should always go down with his Audi.
The smuggies claim bike lanes help make streets safer, but it's becoming increasingly clear that the most effective solution is probably more streets that dead-end at canals. Consider Amsterdam, for example. Notice anything?
I'll gladly trade all New York City's bike infrastructure for a vast series of canals with no guardrails or warning signs. See, bike lanes are mostly just more police parking, whereas unexpected canals would probably weed out the city's reckless drivers through natural selection within a couple months.
Moving on to more bikey-type stuff, I still have the Marin Pine Mountain 1:
And after spending most of my precious recreational riding time on it this past week I'm officially adding Marin to my "blocked callers" list because I don't want to give it back.
Here is why I am an unabashed fan of this bike:
--It has no bouncy parts to futz with, nor does it need them
--It has quick release axles, "standard" spacing, and a threaded bottom bracket
--It's only about $1,000, you don't need to change anything to make it better, and you can ride anywhere with it.
Regarding that last point, the bike's versatility is due to the "27.5+" wheel and tire size. Basically you get all the obvious benefits of tires with more volume (lots of traction, the ability to smoothly roll over small animals and children), yet they're not so fat that they feel sluggish or are onerous on smooth terrain if you find yourself riding to the trails as I often do. (I mean, no more onerous than a "regular" mountain bike anyway.) And who needs suspension when you can accomplish the same thing with your tires?
And by all means, go ahead call me a sellout, because I'm pretty comfortable with praising a "cheap" bike that's extremely fun to ride. I am a bike blogger, you know. Selling out would be if I said, "Fuck it, I'm getting a real estate broker's license" and started hawking condos.
(Which I haven't ruled out, mind you.)
Speaking of selling, a reader informed me that this vintage Rapha garment can now be yours for only £300 (which is like US$25,000):
The Original Rapha Stowaway Rain Jacket size medium, pre Sky and big time days, original and unique.
Made from 2.5 ply Polyamide material which is tough yet remarkably waterproof multi-layer fabric, it's thin and nicely soft to the touch.
I bought this from Rapha in 2007 but have never worn it.
Please ask if you have any questions.
Ah yes, who can forget the humble days before Rapha hit the big time?
And let the record show I was a sellout as far back as 2009:
Rapha has managed to impress even the toughest of bike-world critics, including the anonymous blogger Bike Snob NYC, whose pointed critiques of cycling style have drawn a wide audience in the riding community (Mr. Armstrong was photographed not long ago wearing a Bike Snob “Seal of Disapproval” T-shirt.)
In an e-mail message, Bike Snob NYC said he was impressed with a “Fixed Jacket” that Rapha sent him to try. “It’s excellent,” he wrote. “It’s durable, the fit is good, and the pockets are in the right places.” The blogger added, “They’ve done a great job of not only evoking cycling history but also capturing a ‘soulful’ aesthetic that appeals to certain riders.” Still, he admitted: “As a cyclist, I understand it, but personally I sometimes find it off-putting. It’s a little rarefied for me ... I don’t want to feel like I need to be worthy of my clothes.”
By the way, here's the "Fixed Jacket:"
That is emphatically not me, and is in fact from the 2008 series "30 Days of Rapha," which was the Bike Internet at its very best and most unintentionally hilarious:
Today's commute promised a cloudy cool trip to the office and rain on the way home. Scott from Australia, who blogs about his training and racing at SEVere Motivation was asking in yesterday's comments about jacket choices. Was I more concerned about temperature or precipitation when figuring out which to go with?
Well, today I chose the Rapha Stowaway over the Classic Softshell for two reasons. First with temps in the low 60s the heavier Classic would definitely have been too hot for the ride in. I calculated that even if the afternoon forecast for blowing rain materialized, the 50 minute trip home wouldn't soak me through and I'd be warm enough with base layer and cross jersey underneath. I paired the Stowaway with the Black Fixed Shorts giving the latter a racier edge.
If you think commuting by bike San Francisco Bay Area is so hard that it requires a walk-in wardrobe full of Rapha, then the people of Copenhagen would like to have a word with you:
And yes, if you're wondering, I still have the jacket:
I'm also working on my eBay description:
The Original Rapha Fixed Jacket size medium, pre Sky and big time days, original and unique.
Made from something.
Worn by a world-famous semi-professional bike blogger who got it for free and then mentioned it in the New York Times.
Please ask if you have any questions.
Bidding starts at £1,000.
Lastly, speaking of the heady days of the urban cycling trend, remember bike polo? Well now's your chance to fund a documentary about it:
In case you're unfamiliar with bike polo, first it was a "culture:"
Then it was an "identity:"
Nice tattoo by the way. He must forget how to disassemble his hub. What's on his other calf, a grocery shopping list?
Someone should really do a documentary about cyclists and their bike-themed calf tattoos:
When you tattoo "Fuck Taxis" on your calves you pretty much tempt fate and guarantee that one day you'll need to seek work as a taxi driver--though if he does at least he can easily alter the tattoo:
interestingly tattooed calves on london bike messenger. pic.twitter.com/PXHSdTW6IV— Marcel Theroux (@Therouvian) August 21, 2013
Now that's a sentiment you never outgrow.
Anyway, as for bike polo, it went from "game" to "sport:"
And then from "sport" to "cliché:"
Though obviously it was already a "sport" back in 1902:
And here's the filmmaker:
Now to break it down to the nitty-gritty, in the last couple years I've seen, I've seen blood, I've seen broken teeth, I've seen friends fight with friends, I've seen friendships come to an end, I've seen people pick up and throw thousand-dollar bikes across the court when their team loses, I've seen people pick up and throw their bike across the court when their team wins. I've seen something that I want to call the fire and the passion of competitive sport.
So basically road racing with less Rapha.
Bros will be bros.