Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Chain of Fools Is Lubed With Fred Intentions.

As a semi-professional bike blogger I lead a glamorous lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I don't still appreciate the simple pleasures in life: a hot beer on a cold day; using double negatives in sentences (see: "that doesn't mean I don't"); and of course watching news anchors speak incredulously about bicycles:



This particular report comes out of Cincinnati, but really it could be anywhere down here in Canada's scranus, because it's dripping with condescension.  The one on the left begins:


"There's a new superhighway being proposed..."

"Superhighway?!?," ejaculates the typical Cincinnatian.  (How's that for an awkward demonym?)  "I haven't heard anything about a new superhighway!"

Yep, they've got you right where they want you, and this is the one on the right's moment to shine:


"But it's not for vehicles..."

That's when the typical Cincinnatian is like, "Wait, WHAT?!?  A superhighway that's not for vehicles?"

Of course, as cyclists we know that this superhighway is indeed for vehicles.  It's just that those vehicles happen to have two wheels and run on leg power and smugness.  We're also used to people not considering our bicycles to be vehicles even though that's exactly what they are, but let's take a moment to check out the definition of "vehicle" anyway:
Yep, a bike's a vehicle all right.

Though in fairness to the news anchors maybe they meant the superhighway wasn't for syrup:


Anyway, after the news report reveals that the superhighway is in fact for bicycles (crazy, right?), we see various shots of how shitty it is to ride a bike in most of America, and they're depressing enough to make you want to kill yourself:


Though the typical viewer is probably just annoyed that some of the cyclists aren't wearing helmets.

Then the correspondent ends with the big question:


"One of the things we hope to find out is how they propose to pay for this pretty ambitious project."

It's a loaded question, because we know exactly how people are going to feel about it:


So does cycling have a future in America?  Well, judging strictly from local news reports the answer is clearly "No.  Is your toilet tissue slowly killing you?  More at 11."  But the media and real life are often at odds, and I had a bit of a spiritual moment on my Citi Bike ride this past Tuesday:


Specifically, as I alighted into Brooklyn from Manhattan I felt all warm and aglow, as if an angel were applying embrocation to my soul and/or scranus.  See, if years ago you had explained the concept of bike share to me, and then further explained that in 2015 I'd be riding one of these bikes over a renovated Manhattan Bridge bike path filled with other cyclists, I'd never have believed you.  In fact, my joy upon learning of a bike-friendly future would only have been outweighed by my profound disappointment that by 2015 I still hadn't managed to leave New York.

I mean seriously, what the fuck am I still doing here?

Well, I suppose I stick around because of all the celebrities.  For example, remember how Bono crashed his bike in Central Park?  Well, now he's daring you to ride with him, and he's even making light of his triathlete-level bike-handling skills:
What could go wrong indeed?  Plus, there will be ice cream:

RIDE BIKES WITH BONO AND GET ICE CREAM IN CENTRAL PARK
You and a friend will ride bikes through Central Park with Bono
Grab an ice cream, share stories, and take home plenty of signed merchandise
Be flown to New York City and stay in a 4-star hotel

Though the typical Fred only wants to know two things:

(Fred can't wait to do battle.)

I'll certainly consider entering for a chance to Cat 6 the hell out of Bono, just as long as I get to ride the ultimate commuting bike:

(Spoiler alert: No it isn't.)

Created by Volkswagon designer Xavier Lescourret, this bike has no shortage of clever features that might appeal to anyone riding to and from work. Most notable is the split top tube, which is designed to accommodate a tablet or laptop case, getting rid of the need to carry it on your back.



Ah yes, if only there were some existing way to carry a laptop computer on a bike without putting it in a backpack:


I'm glad the Volkswagen douche has finally unlocked this engineering mystery.

Also, there's an integrated...cable lock?

The bike has also been designed with integrated front and rear lights, while hidden away in the down tube is a cable lock (although we might suggest a more secure D-lock if you’re considering leaving this pretty eye-catching bike locked up against some railings for any length of time).

Street-savvy suggestion there, though if your bike gets stolen in Portland you don't have to worry because the police will put their best intern on it:


Not only are the Portland Police looking for an intern to fight bike theft, but they'll also make that intern do a shitload of stuff for free:

According to the official description, the PPB is looking for someone who can volunteer (it’s unpaid, sorry) for 10-30 hours per month. Here’s more about the position:

The ideal applicant will be interested in bikes and addressing bike theft, and will help to create theft solutions for the City of Portland. The intern will work closely with the Bike Theft Task Force (BTTF), which is largely community driven with Police oversight.
Work may include:

• Research internal reports to analyze trends/patterns
• Distribute tips to the community via creative channels
• Network with BTTF partners in the biking community to promote the mission/goals to reduce bike theft
• Research efforts of other police departments around the nation to develop best practices for a comprehensive approach to the problem
• Work with bicycle recovery to improve practices within the Bureau to locate victims and return seized bikes to owners
• Assist with community engagement events that would promote theft education and bicycle registration.

That's the sort of experience that will really bolster your resume.  Plus, "Bike Theft Task Force" sounds a lot more impressive than all the other jobs in Portland that don't pay anything, such as "freegan engineer" and "freelance pickling consultant."

And as for that bike, it's not the "ultimate commuting bike" unless it has this chain on it:
One of the company’s newest products are the Ultra Fast Optimized (UFO) chains. Ceramic Speed brings in stock chains from Campagnolo, Shimano, SRAM, and KMC and then selects, tunes, and treats them to reduce friction. Claimed savings: two to five watts, which means that riders could cover 40km six to 15 seconds faster.

By the way, if you're wondering what "selects, tunes, and treats them to reduce friction" involves, it means they lube a regular chain and charge you more than double the price:

The chains are priced from about $129 to $165, two to 2.5 times the price of the stock version of the chain. A package includes the chain, connecting link or pins, a pair of gloves to install the chain, and a bottle of Squirt Lube. Squirt, according to the Ceramic Speed press release, is, “the fastest drip lube ever tested.” The included lube is Squirt’s stock formulation.

"Stock formulation?"  This can only mean one thing, which is that in 2016 this company is going to start selling bottles of "tuned lube" for $100.

As for the chain, after only 200 miles it becomes a "training chain:"

After 200 miles (in dry conditions), the power savings of the UFO chain drops off. Ceramic Speed says that by, “using the Squirt Lube in the maintenance of the UFO Chain, the traces of optimization are stimulated even further, resulting in an upgraded and high-quality training chain.”

Yes, you read that right.

Just let those two words sink in:

TRAINING CHAIN

I think we've just reached Peak Fred.

102 comments:

Anonymous said...

podiation yo.

McFly said...

Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuube

Jasper said...

Early doors

weasel said...

Pop!

Ted K. said...

94. By “freedom” we mean the opportunity to go through the power process, with real goals not the artificial goals of surrogate activities, and without interference, manipulation or supervision from anyone, especially from any large organization. Freedom means being in control (either as an individual or as a member of a SMALL group) of the life-and-death issues of one’s existence; food, clothing, shelter and defense against whatever threats there may be in one’s environment. Freedom means having power; not the power to control other people but the power to control the circumstances of one’s own life. One does not have freedom if anyone else (especially a large organization) has power over one, no matter how benevolently, tolerantly and permissively that power may be exercised. It is important not to confuse freedom with mere permissiveness (see paragraph 72).

Anonymous said...

LUBE TUBE

Bryan said...

Early morning cruisin...

Anonymous said...

Too late for a Podi-Yo

Bromptonaut said...

Top Ten! Now for a new chain.

Anonymous said...

What happened to battle-fred's feet? Is he a troll?

Anonymous said...

WoooHoooHoooHooo!!!

Anonymous said...

Thought it said 'ultrafart' on the chain box for a moment there. My mistake.

N/A said...

Hey! I'm a Cincinnatian! And, well, you're pretty much spot on.

Anonymous said...

Friggin early! Expensive for a couple of extra watts when all you need for a huge boost is some EPO.

I'll keep running my regular off the shelf shimshamo chain.

Helton Moraes said...

How come don't you mention Cipolini in such a lubricous post? #unfollow

N/A said...

$165 chain that's only good for one or two weekends? Uh that is an ultrafart because that stinks. Also, hahahaha, "training chain". What a wank.

N/A said...

Tri-dorks can't service their own chains, so bike shops will have to lube up their UltraFart chains for them with the standard formulation.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Research internal reports to analize...?

bad boy of the north said...

U2 can ride with bono.......nothing to see here.move on.

BamaPhred said...

Damn, the VIP experience was sold out already, and I don't want to break this $75,000 bill Leroy's Dog traded me for my credit card. Sucker, it's only got a $400 dollar limit..........
My chains are personally, and I do mean personally, if you know what I mean, and I think you do, by Dorothy Rabinowitz. But they still make this awful scratchy sound.

Anonymous said...

My toilet tissue is slowly killing me?!?
I knew it!!
OhGodOhGodOhGod...

NHcycler said...

I'm glad to see Bono is up and going again. After reading about his mishap you'd'a thought he'd be paralyzed for life. And it's good to hear about the healing force applyin' to Leroy. How's your arm, McFly? And Babble, are you crankin' the pedals through all of that rain? I'm sure there're others, too, and I wish them all a quick healin' holiday.

And yeah, that Assos Guy has strange lookin' feet. Those tan lines make'em look like they'd been photoshopped on by a certain bike snob.

Pickling Consultant said...

the record-scratch gag makes me laugh every time.

ankit gupta said...

I am poor and needy help me by click and view 5 second ad if you can click here help me.

nahmean said...

A $200 "training chain"?

I wonder if we somehow combined a fred with an audiophile, would it result in a monetary black hole that would literally suck money from everyone around him?

janinedm said...

I think this would appeal to the dork I saw on 5th this morning. He was in the far right lane (technically bus only) and I was in the far left lane. I could hear his bike crying for help over 4 lanes of rush hour manhattan traffic. At one point the happenstance of filtering up, which sometimes has you going sideways, had me close enough to tell him his bike sounded angry. He said it's probably because he's "never greased the chain or whatever." I shit you not. Not relevant but important: he had aero bars. Anyway, he'd probably buy this chain and then treat it like garbage.

janinedm said...

What if we could convince Freds that the greatest factor in adding speed was artisanal, "tuned," road surfaces? We'd see more highways getting adopted like [insert Angelina Jolie joke].

Nasher said...

It's not peak fred till all our training chains have a bluetooth link relaying some sort of status data to your smartphone.

Anonymous said...

That training chain will go nicely with my training frame, training wheels, training saddle, training handlebars, and training derailleurs. I'm really saving up to get a training crankset with training pedals to complete my training bike set!

JB said...

I put 6-gauge Di2 wiring on my commuter. It shifts 0.0001 second faster, saving me .342 watts, and gets me to work 0.83 seconds faster.

I'm working on fiber optic cabling on my road bike, for the weight savings over the 6-gauge wiring.

Anonymous said...

@JB, but is it carbon fiber optic?

NHcycler said...

Nasher and JB:

DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Did we reach Peak Fred or Peak Jesus in today's post? Anyway it's a good send off, since tomorrow's (short) post will be announcing a two week sabbatical to let either Peak Fred or Peak Jesus sink in.

Bob Patterson said...

"I use lots of lube, but I charge double". More sexual allusion.

Dooth said...

And if you had told me--decades ago when I bought a U2 album--that I could some day ride bikes around Central Park with Bono AND have ice cream with Bono AND share stories with Bono...

CommieCanuck said...

After 200 miles it's a training chain, then 400 miles after that it's a junk miles chain, then 600 miles after that it's a chain for Flava Flav's clocks.
Frankly, it's almost 2016 and we don't yet have a single Bluetooth or 4K chain on the market, and we should have at least 5-6 standard chain sizes. I'm disappointed, America.
JB...nah dude, nah, fiber optic cable means you are limited by the speed of light and you are shit unless you are aren't shifting by quantum teleportation in 2016. Fred.
It's all pricey, which explains the cost of dental fillings these days.

babble on said...

NH Cycler - I'm out there on the Electra, but my sweet Lynskey is waiting on a new spoke (!!) because for some reason that isn't part of the inventory my favourite LBS carries. Never had one blow up before, and this wheel is all of about a year old!! Also, it looks like the whole wheel is pretty much done. THAT's what comes of putting on ten or twleve K in a year living in a rainforest, I suppose, but damned. That's a lot. Also, I put new brake pads on when I switched to the winter wheels mid to late October, and already they're GONE. And this is the OFF season. Nobody is even counting base miles yet. Oh dear. I've turned into a total Fredricka. We can't have reached peak Fred yet...

Heh heh. So cat videos are derigeur on the club's FB page. Every time a discussion about the latest power meter or the best wheels (haven't got round to training chains!) gets too intense, someone posts a cat video, or a classic snob post. Last week someone posted the first 2014 post, you know, the one about the guy on a dish wheel who demanded snobberdood help him pump up his tires. So there's still plenty mount Fred left before we reach the peak, or at least there is out here on the left coast, where we are running a little behind the times.

Vernal Magina said...

Maybe they'll put Pete Rose in charge of the finances for that Cincinnati bike lane loop thing.

But gee, can't even enter that Bono bike ride for free, wtf -- multiple-entry options for different prices??? How elitist and smugly is that?

jooknboolie said...

I'd be curious to cross-reference the Pista-dex at Peak Fred with the average watt-savings per dollar multiplied by the eternal constant(Fred "woo-hoo" speed). I wouldn't be surprised if this matches exactly the weight (in grams) of "unguent" residue on Cipo's sheets minus Dorothy Rabinowitz's published word count as of the solstice. Freaky coincidence, huh?

JB said...

I once rode for about a year on a mountain bike wheel that was missing a spoke. It broke at the J, and I just snipped it off near the nipple (ouch!).

"Cincinnati: we're halfway between Cleveland and St. Louis."

Anonymous said...

Volkswagon gets caught cheating on pollution tests and makes "the ultimate commuter bike" without fenders? They are run by the prince of darkness.

babble on said...

Yeah, but soon as the spoke broke the wheel developed such a wobble I had to release the brakes to "tire removal mode," something that is a bit of a stealth operation on a Campy setup.

Grump said...

Isn't VW designer Xavier Lescourret the same guy who designed those VW's that spew out poisonous fumes that are responsible for the deaths of 50 million Americans????
Would you trust such a mass murderer???

Anonymous said...

chain, chain, chain. chain of fools

Anonymous said...

"If you break one of 32, wheel misalignment is usually to bad to ride.
This is doubly so with "modern" frames that have no clearance anyway,
but tweaking a 32 or 28 spoke wheel after a break is not nearly as
easy as with 36. I days of yore I rode plenty of miles on 35 spokes
in the days before DT spokes and others that are competitive."

Jobst Brandt Palo Alto CA

Anonymous said...

Hey Babble,

Thanks for the cat video inspiration. Our club e-list just had a long discussion of GPS devices vs Smartphones. Who needs either one? I refrained from being the retro-grouch asking who was lost, and volunteering a paper map. A good cat video would have been a relief.

Anonymous said...

Clicked the link for ride-with-Bono and was happy to see it was for charity. The bottom of the page says "OTHER GREAT EXPERIENCES" and listed Kim Kardashian. You best believe I ain't clicking that link.

dop said...

Babble- is that one of those fancy wheels with fewer than 32 spokes? Losing one is a bigger deal than for us heifers on sturdy wheels.

Freddy Murcks said...

Regarding "training chain": I have a friend who used to be sponsored by a chain company (Taya - I think). He never lubed his chain. He would use one for a couple hundred miles and then put on a new chain. I think he gave the used ones to his non-sponsored friends. Peak Fred might have hit a long time ago.

Comment deleted said...

I always ride with training wheels.

chaining train said...

sounds like an ebay opportunity, training chains

Anonymous said...

Babble, Yesterday:

"I am STILL waiting on Jimmy Choo to design a heel with cleats!!" - That's great!

"I miss those hard, hot and sweaty rides." - Not touching that one with a ten foot pole.

Roille Figners said...

How bout an 8-inch pole?

Roille Figners said...

I like how they come right out and say it costs 2 to 2.5 times more, like it's a selling point (which, sadly, it probably is). Reminds me of drug commercials on TV. "You may experience dizziness, seizures, violent diarrhea and bouts of Tourette's when taking Drugulol." And it doesn't matter because LOOK AT THESE PRETTY PICTURES OF HAPPY PEOPLE BUSY NOT BEING UNHAPPY. None of whom are shown watching TV, it bears mentioning. But this doesn't matter either. People are fucking stupid. Kill 'em all. Make them ride the lightning, master their puppets, and give them justice for all.

Where Everything is Broken said...

CC@1120: "I'm disappointed, America.": It's an easy place to be disappointed in. Was the Nine Horsemen of the Apocalypse Debate on TV north of the NSA Border? They spent the entire time trying to outdo each other on how bad, terrible, horrible everything is here. And, lo and behold, this morning I saw a pothole while out riding (I took evasive action), but it showed me that the Nine Dwarfs of Politics were absolutely correct. Time to move to Vancouver and snuggle in under the covers with Babble.

ChamoisJuice said...

Babble,

You are a prime candidate for training wheels. Not like teach a kid how to ride a bike, training wheels, but don't kill your stupid expensive Campy Shamal race wheels putting in hella miles in the rain, training wheels. Something that has steel spokes, the normal kind, that bike shops stock, not the $18 proprietary aluminum Campy spokes, that leave you without a road bike for weeks at a time when they break.. If any shop in Van is likely to have those idiotic things in stock it's La Bicicletta over by MEC http://labiciclettaproshop.com/

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

A bikeist can now ride nearly all the way from Columbus to Cincy or over to Dayton mostly on dedicated bike paths. Maybe a couple city blocks here and there on surface streets to connect the trails. Slow but sure it's coming. Never thought I'd see it in my lifetime. Living out here in fly-over-ville does have some advantages.

Sure the trails can get a little crowded close in to the urban centers but once you're out of stroller range its usually wide open.

babble on said...

I have Campy training wheels for winter, not the shiny gold Shamals. I still wore the fuck out of them, and though they are heavier than the Shamals they have a different spoke which the shop doesn't stock.

ChamoisJuice said...

Roille, you might like this
Unedited Footage of a Bear | Infomercials | Adult Swim

stupid cat videos
cat thug life

babble on said...

dop - Yes, it does have less than 32 spokes... I think there are 16 of them.

balls™ said...

The average human has one testicle.


Driplube Virenque said...

Carbon Enve wheels on the Volks-douche commuter bike-- of course! We're all envious bro, next year in Jerusalem and with an uber-Fred fork of Envy to match.

dcee604 said...

A training chain? You're pulling my chain.

babble on said...

anon@ 1:00 heh, we are no where near peak fred in our club. Everyone is all chuffed about Zwift for their indoor winter training miles, and those conversations are always well punctuated with cat videos.

Speaking of which... the second would be well received, though the club tends toward the comical, but WTF was that first video you linked to, Mr Chamois Juice?? It seemed like the longest claradin commercial ever, but when I skipped through to find the mom bloodied and laying on the street I had to click away. I see enough blood on the streets as it stands, just from my own personal misadventures.

Cluless said...

"I mean seriously, what the fuck am I still doing here?"

NYC AREA really isn't bad for biking.
Madison: No drama, but almost no mass transit that carries bikes.
Chicago: hahahahaha
Portland: you hate it.
Davis: flat
Boulder: not as bad as Portland ,but pretty close.
Austin: yeehaw...
Berkeley: No
Moab: not your style, almost no one's long term style.

Actually there are a lot of small towns like Chico, Mammoth Lakes, Durango, Santa Fe, Silver City (and this is barely scratching the surface), which are great for bikers and writers

Anonymous said...

Clueless, duluth? Bike snob needs to get to Duluth

BikeSnobNYC said...

Clueless,

Oh, I wouldn't downgrade from New York, I'd just leave the country entirely.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

McFly said...

NH-6 weeks yesterday. Doing good. Did some real full on MTB at the Canal loop Sunday. No issues to speak of.....it's almost strong enough to put the pussy on the chain wax.

balls™ said...

Duluth?!?!? That is funny. I'd love to see a ride report of Snobby taking out his new fat bike on a frozen Lake Superior.

Do they make bike racks for snowmobiles?

I agree that moving from New Amsterdam to Old Amsterdam is a better move. WCRM already speaks Dutch-bike well enough to get around.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BamaPhred @9:16 AM --

My dog asked me to inform you that a $50 contribution to the Mario Cippolini Squirt Lube Foundation has been made in your name.

He also says thanks for the Omaha Steaks.


CommieCanuck said...

Oh, I wouldn't downgrade from New York, I'd just leave the country entirely.

Nah.. once President Trump builds the wall, his dream of "Escape from New York" will come true. Get your eye patch now Snob, I'll visit and announce, "Bike Snob NYC..I thought you were DEAD!".

ChamoisJuice said...

Bikesnob has already moved as far north as he can, while still being able to claim "real New Yorker" status, and escapes on bike rides to pastures greener further north at every available convenience.

I often have wondered what bikesnob will rename his blog once he finally divorces himself of the great cat 6 race of life that is NYC. I mean, he really hasn't been a bikesnob for quite some time.... he advertises State Bikes for Lob's sake.
ArtisanalOffspringCurationandHudsonRiverValley

girl in bib shorts

Babble, that video is satire.
"Some side effects effects may may occur. If side effects occur occur please form a second opinion. Your inside affects your outside side effects; Claridryl affects your insides effects on your outside. Please choose sides before consulting Claridryl. Claridryl is not responsible for switched sides, insides or out. What were you thinking? Claridryl is not related to that.
Claridryl opens doors and is not responsible donna for what lies inside. Consult your doctor before stopping, starting, continuing, or never taking Claridryl. You may be at risk of bloodening if you combine Claridryl with other selves. Claridryl is not for pregnant, nursing, expectant, waiting, bereaved, or sleeping mothers. What kind of person were you trying to be?
Claridryl will not guarantee that you will become that person, but a person or persons will result from sustained use of Claridryl.Appropriate dosage of Claridryl varies widely depending on (but not limited to) some of the following factors: eyes, medical history, blood volume, organ weight, presence or absence of bows, piano lessons, phone color, lawn color, number of children, zip code, myrrh, regrets, lessons learned, and diet."

Bill Crowder said...

Living here, about six feet from the mooses ass, I can assure you that a training chain seems just the ticket for sub-zero ice riding in the frozen waste. You should move here..... or not. You have too many kids and we have refugees that need our help. So stay there.

sliding in moose jaw

JB said...

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Anonymous said...

The population densities of all the world's great bicycle countries are too high for my taste, especially compared to the American West. And Iceland, Sweden, Norway don't exactly have the weather of the American Southwest.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

What a long, strange trip that was.

Old timer said...

Training Chains? In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I, too, have proprietary chains on all my bikes: ride-to-the-cafe-for-doughnuts-and-a-Coke, chains. The functional life span of these chains is quantified in YEARS, not miles. Thank goodness! I keep the chains clean ’n lubed; use one or another of ‘em every day. Simplicity. It works!

Lil Johnson said...

I never did need no training chain, I always just use my stavin' chain.

1904 Cadardi said...

Babble:

I'll give you my standard "Oh, you just broke a spoke?" spiel. Fair warning: I'm a slightly curmudgeonly retro grouch, but I'm also a former racer and still put on stretchy clothes and clicky shoes to hang with the fast boys as long as I can.

You want good sturdy wheels that would be at home in the olden days of Paris-Roubaix: 32 14-gauge DT spokes laced between a Mavic OpenPro rim and a Shimano or Campy Hub. Every few years when the rain and grit wears out the rim, relace a new rim onto the old hub. Replace and repack the bearing every couple of years. Wheel problems solved forever.

That's the advice I give everyone of my friends that recently bought a bike with TFSS(too few spokes syndrome) and not-surprisingly their wheel issues disappear like magic.

Now darn you kids got offa my lawn, I got spokes to tie and solder.

JuanOffhue said...

Artisanal chain? Pffft. For that kind of dough I can buy a Wipperman and several cans of T-9 and not have to worry about changing chains for years.

1904 Cadardi said...

I should add:

3 cross with brass nipples.

izdildos said...

That chain is great, it cuts about 48-120 seconds off of travel time within the recommended service interval, which you can spend leisurely burning C-Notes.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Technological advances are great, and my 15 lb. Fred Sled is truly a piece of engineering masterwork.

However, there are still some areas where old school will never be beat. Steel box rims with 36 spokes and Vittoria cotton-casing sew-ups, cx in the back and cg in the front. Sure, they were heavy, but they were bombproof, and you could lean so far into the turn that your elbow was practically touching the ground with absolute confidence that your wheels would not wash out. My mall parking lot criterium days are decades behind me now, but no modern wheel-tire set I have encountered has ever given me the kind of cornering confidence that those suckers did.

Vittoria still makes a cx/cg tubular, but they cannot hold a candle to the 80's version.

Roille Figners said...

CJ - why yes, I enjoyed that. Sooo fucked up

Flying Fuck said...

Most of my bikes are single speeds or internal hub multi-speeds. I also have some old school road and mountain bikes with six speed clusters. I use single speed chains on all my bikes, they're cheap and who gives a flying fuck about power loss when you're going to use up the time savings at one red light?

dop said...

Jazz at Lincoln Centrr Christmas Show with my family...Surprise guest...Aretha Franklin...sang 'Oh Tannenbaum'...dropped her fur coat on the stage before she sang....Guitar player retrieved it when she left... The Queen....

Watts Your Pitch said...

Did you know that the bush roller chain was first patented and manufactured by Hans Renold in 1879?

Anonymous said...

TRAN CHAN

Steve Jobs said...

I made the iPhone spellcheck autocorrect "Lardass" to "Kardashian"

David Pearce said...

"Peak Fred? Not on your life!!"

"Impossible anyway," he said with a snort, while wiping the residue of Squirt Lube from his hand, and casually wondering if his beach towel had captured all the "Traces of Optimization".

"There'll always be a way to pump more Fred! May have to frack him a little, a few tweaks here and there, whatever. Fred ain't going anywhere, so just hold yer horses & curb your freakin' enthusiasm, blog-boy!"

Anonymous said...

Snob, can I have a new chain in my stocking, please.

dop said...

Btw....the title of today's post was chain of fools

Anonymous said...

sticks and stones may brake my bauns but chains and whips excite me ... Rihanna (true story)

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

It's worth the extra dough for the speed chain so I can get a free pair of gloves to prevent my paws from getting dirty.

I knew a man with 5 penises..his condom fit like a glove.

Mussaddiq Husain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mussaddiq Husain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

Hey, when you link youtube videos in your blog, why is it they don't allow fast forwarding, rewinding, or even show the time? It makes me crazy.

Rip Rook said...

Hi, thanks for this very nice and interesting post. I like your writing style, it’s quite unique. Please visit http://goo.gl/TceKCi

Computertricksweb Blogspot said...

nice blog
How to Keyboard Typing Speed Increase
How Whatsapp Install on My Computer
How Delete Computer Temporary Files Window XP
How To Hide Computer Folder And Personal Documents

zell v said...

Nice post, thanks your article, thats very interesting

cara menghilangkan kerutan di wajah said...

Hey, nice to see this blog. I;m impressed

basith said...

terimakasih atas artikelnya kawan