BSNYC Friady Fun Qiuz!

Firstly, if you own a human child this balance bike recall may pertain to you:

Wishbone Design Studio is recalling about 400 balance bikes in the U.S. because the handlebar can pinch fingers at the frame. The firm company reports of four incidents, including two injuries. One required stitches and one required restorative surgery

Yikes!  They should have called it the Snapping Turtle.

Poor kids.

No mention whether or not they were waering healme(n)ts, though.

Speaking of parenting, further to yesterday's post, I'm afraid I owe impassioned anti-bike lane ranter Darby Monger an apology:

And Darby Monger crafted an analogy to describe the addition of bike lanes to her beloved city.

“It’s very similar to personally taking all three of my daughters to a tattoo parlor and having them completely body tattooed,” she said.

See, it turns out poor Darby Monger is delusional.  The truth is that she doesn't have any children, and for the past 20 years she's been pretending three school crossing signs are her daughters:

It's all very sad.  She dresses them in pretty bows and stuff:

And she's hoping to marry the oldest one off to a nice doctor:

So now you know why she takes painting lines on the local infrastructure so seriously.

In her mind, it is tattooing.

Finally, here's an eminently sensible analysis of elite women's time trial World Champion Linda Villumsen's decision not to ride her sponsor's bicycle:

Sadly, it took an audacious act of courage on her part to face her team, put her foot down, and decide, team be damned, she would ride her Trek and win the World Championship. No woman makes enough money to sacrifice a chance at rainbow bands in favour of her sponsor. And while Tom Boonen might be able to command Specialized to make a bike to fit his specifications, Linda Villumsen before the rainbow bands was no Tom Boonen.

Now, rather than asking who was right and who was wrong, maybe what we should be asking is will Wilier invest in women cyclists now that they are sponsoring the World Champion, and perhaps create a bike for her to win the Olympic Games on? 

Well said.

Ironically, I'm sure the sponsors would rather the athletes just dope.  That way at least they get to use the victory photos for a few weeks before the test results come back.

And at least she didn't ride this:

Is that a hamster maze mounted on those bars or a bong @yourbikehatesyo @bikesnobnyc pic.twitter.com/0UC6vWCZaz

— Cat 6 Racer (@Cat6racer) September 25, 2015

It's both aerodynamic and watertight.

And now I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then whoop-dee-doo, and if you're wrong you'll see a tall bike on the highway.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and don't look down at the bike lane lest you fall victim to a dizzying type of vertigo.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

(Tank Man ain't got nothin' on the brave homeowners of Coronado, CA.)

1) Which is not an actual reason residents of Coronado, CA objected to new bike lanes?

--“You are covering Coronado with paint stripe pollution,” said resident Gerry Lounsbury
--The lanes “bring to mind a visual cacophony that if you look there long enough it will induce a dizzying type of vertigo,” said Carolyn Rogerson.
--Gerry MacCartee asked if the community couldn't think of a better option than “these black streets with these brilliant white lines everywhere because believe me, it takes away from your home, from your outlook on life.”

--"Please stop this madness, you are creating a situation like the one in Syria, you are driving us from our homes," implored Valerie Dunwoodie.

(He's gonna get some pap-al smears on that pretty white dress if he's not careful.)

2) When Pope Francis visits Philadelphia this weekend, he will be given:

--A laurel, and hearty handshake

--An unlimited key to the city's bike share system

--A custom Breezer bicycle

--A cheese steak "wit wiz" and a kick in the ass

(The suspect.)

3) A bike thief in Manhattan successfully gnawed his way through a bike lock.

--True

--False

4) New York City now has 1,000 miles of bike lanes.

--True

--False

5) What is this rider doing?

--Reporting poor road conditions

--Mapping out an alleycat course

--Earmarking certain streets for gentrification

--Attempting to ward off rival males and attract a mate

6) Which group has the biggest problem with drinking?

--Bike messengers

--Singlespeeders

--Cyclocrossers

--Triathletes

7) This guy's going to revolutionize:

--Helmets

--Helments

--Hamlets

--All of the above

***Special Canadian Speed Sperm-Themed Bonus Video!***

They deserve a standing ovulation.