Thursday, April 30, 2015

The Future: Car-Free Paradise or Dystopia of Smugness?

What day is it, Thursday?

Right.

I know I keep repeating myself, but it is recumbent upon me to remind you once again I'll be at the Bike Expo New York and leading a ride to the Bike Expo New York and an early morning ride before the Bike Expo New York and Bike Expo New York:


(Bike Expo New York.)

Here's the abridged version of my schedule:

Friday, May 1st:

Walz booth at Bike Expo from 12-2pm (free caps!)

Saturday, May 2nd:

1) Early morning sub-epic two-hour road ride with token dirt sections, 7:30am extreme uptown start, email me at bikesnobnyc [at] yahoo [dot] com with the subject line "I WANT TO GO ON THE SUPER-SECRET EARLY MORNING RIDE!!!" and I'll give you the details (free caps!);

2) Mid-morning ride to Bike Expo, meet at Indian Road Cafe in Inwood at 10am (free caps!), no emailing necessary, just show up;

3) Walz booth at Bike Expo from 12-2pm (free caps!).

4) 2:01pm, I start drinking.

For those of you who have already emailed to RSVP for the early morning ride, you should have received details from me by now, so if you haven't let me know.

[Oh, and as for the BSNYC Gran Fondon't on May 17th, figure it will be about double the early morning sub-epic, and it will finish up someplace where they have beer.]

Thanks for bearing with me during all this plugging.

In other news, recently I discussed my feelings regarding the Automotive Industrial Complex's conspiracy to crush the soul of America's youth through excessive helme(n)ting:


("This magic hat is the only thing that can keep you from dying.")

Well, for some reason I'm on the Hatzolah mailing list.  I don't know if it's because I've booked passage to Israel in my lifetime, or because I used to live adjacent to Boro Park, or simply because my wife had a baby inside a hospital recently and when that happens you get solicitations from everybody because they know there's now a new consumer on the planet.  Whatever the reason, I'm pleased to announce that recently I received this lavish and exclusive catalog for their upcoming auction event:


By the way, if you don't know what Hatzolah is, it's basically the Jewish volunteer ambulance service, and they're the ones who will burst into your dining room if you plotz at the dinner table:


("Jew down, Jew down!!!")

Anyway, I only mention all of this because this awesome door prize for kids caught my eye and it made me think of the Helmetization of America:


I will now make all of my 18 (eighteen) children wear a helment and carry the complete Hatzolah emergency bicycling kit at all times.

You never know when junior's going to need a stethoscope in order to diagnose a rear hub pawl issue or a congenital heart defect.

Then again, now that I think about it, I'll probably withhold the megaphone.  The last think you want to give a kid is anything that amplifies sound.  I'd sooner give a kid a box of strike anywhere matches than a megaphone.

Moving on to international matters, here's an interesting article in the Guardian about how cars are like totally over:


Are you familiar with GG Allin?  If not, he was a "musician" of sorts, and he was basically the Jimi Hendrix of making doody on the stage and then attacking the audience with it.  Anyway, regarding his act--which was not exactly crowd-pleasing--GG Allin had this to say:

"With GG, you don't get what you expect—you get what you deserve."

Whenever getting around in New York City feels like a giant shitshow to me (which is a good portion of the time), this quote always pops into my head.  After all, whether you're walking, or cycling, or using public transportation, or even driving, are there not many, many occasions when you feel like you just took a fistful of GG Allin's feces to the face?  And is this not because millions and millions of people a day are making lousy, selfish decisions?

So when it comes to getting around in New York City, I always think to myself, "We don't get the city we expect--we get what we deserve."

This is why I was pleasantly surprised to read the following quote in the article:

I suggest to her that not all cyclists behave well – I am thinking of the ones I see in London who whizz along pavements and go in the wrong direction down one-way streets – but she has a good answer. “Cities get the cyclists they deserve. If you have good infrastructure, you will get good cyclists. It’s the same with drivers and pedestrians.”

I suspect she didn't have GG Allin in mind, but it was validating to know there's a city official in Helsinki who feels the same way as I do.

On balance, I found the entire article really interesting, though I could have done without the very last sentence, which sort of cheapened it.

Speaking of a smug, car-free future, here's a Kickstarter from Sweden for a "child bike seat and stroller in one:"



I have to say this is a pretty good idea, though I'm not sure about the Hannibal-Lecter-on-a-handtruck child position:


See?


("What, no helment?!?")

By the way, if you get the special director's cut edition of "Silence of the Lambs," you'll notice some subtle differences.  To wit:


I want to thank Brian K. for sendingthat easily cutted-and-pasted version of Nonplussed Bib Short Guy.

It's about time someone started pulling their weight around here.

Anyway, as someone who has been known to get multi-modal, I applaud the bike seat-cum-stroller (oh, grow up), Lecteresque position notwitstanding:


("What, no helment?!?")

And while we're looking at Kickstarters, here's a "video based warning system for cyclists:"


The inventor is an aerospace engineer, and here's a picture of him next to a diagram of a thingy so you know he's serious:


(A thingy.)

Basically, the way it works is that the Fred or Frederica mounts his or her smartphone onto his or her Fred(erica) Chariot:


The "app" locks onto the target:


And then relays the coordinates to the nearest submarine or battleship which then launches a Tomahawk missile at it:



Note that there is no collateral damage, because the missile merely roughens the road surface in order to discourage the driver from following too closely.

Just kidding.  It doesn't fire a missile.  It records a video that the police will subsequently ignore.

Still, could be useful if it works--though it does raise the following question:

"What if you get overtaken by a Cat 6 Attack Fred, will it record him too?"


Causing a fellow cyclist to crash and then riding away?

Now that's what I call "vehicular cycling."

112 comments:

Ted K said...

4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.

Anonymous said...

Top Ten from SF!

Anonymous said...

Brommie owners unite!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Lost out in the sprint again! My lead-out man needs some better dope.

cervicalgia said...

You *finally* answered my question about what to call a female Fred - "Frederica"! I like it. Better than Wilma for sure

Anonymous said...

Top ten scranus!

Anonymous said...

Ant1st blows goats.

Anonymous said...

The Hatzollah are what my boy used to call the "Jew Police" (Cheap Trick reference).
I first learned about 9/11 because all their sirens In Williamsburg were going nuts that morning.

Anonymous said...

Could have taken Ted K's spot on the podium today, but I chose to read. You don't want to piss off Ted K.

benDE said...

TEN!

benDE said...

Does Ted really have internet access? Actually that is a great punishment: Sentence ideological zealots to populate BikeSnob's comments sections for 5 hours each day. . .

Er, wait. . . do they already?

dop said...

scranus

benDE said...

That's why I keep coming back Snob: Once every couple of years you really hit it out of the park

'Cities get the cyclists they deserve'

Ok, you didn't say it. But you did notice it and put it in the context of fecal flinging.

You haven't had anything this good since, about 4 years ago you made a comparison . . . wait, it was about . .. shit, it's gone.

Old-timer said...

I was going to box up one of my bikes, book a flight from Central California to NYC on Friday, and ride the SNOB rides. (And personally apologize to all Commentariati present for my heartless gloating about benign California weather over the past Winter.) Acquisition of a FREE BSNYC cap would have more than sufficiently offset my travel expenses!!! But then I thought - na - I’m too old. NYC? I’ll never be able to find it. So, I’d better just stay home and ride my usual forty-mile doughnut ride on Saturday. However, I WILL eat an additional doughnut for you all, and raise my Coke can HIGH, in tribute to you lucky participants! (Photographs, please!)

Anonymous said...

Afternoon!

cycle

dop said...

Hatzollah*...the word strikes fear in the hearts of former Beth Israel medical residents...Haredi ambulance staff with an unerring ability to make up excuses after driving past half a dozen ER's with their Haredi patient unable to breath & turning blue...just to get them from deepest Brooklyn to the promised land...Beth Israel Medical center

* aka Hazmat or Hot Matzos

Anonymous said...

Holy shit Snob, you just called out the entire human race on this one: "millions and millions of people a day are making lousy, selfish decisions." Right on!

Nanook said...

When did Nonplussed Bib Short Guy start wearing mukluks?

jodphoto said...

Was she wearing a helment?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

"I suggest to her that not all cyclists behave well – I am thinking of the ones I see in London who whizz along pavements and go in the wrong direction down one-way streets – but she has a good answer. “Cities get the cyclists they deserve. If you have good infrastructure, you will get good cyclists. It’s the same with drivers and pedestrians.”

Don't cyclists also get the infrastructure they deserve?

babble on said...

Spot. On.

Yes yes yes every city gets the cyclists it deserves. But how is it that there are so many dangerous asshole texting drivers everywhere all across the planet? They are absolutely ubiquitous. In the end we'll have no choice but to join Ted in his post-industrial revolution. The overthrow of corporate governance is crucial to human survival, and the only way to win that particular war is to Stop Buying In to all of that car-centric bullshit. Of course Snobi Wan is our de facto leader, both spiritual and practical, and even though it isn't plain to see, this revolution is already underway. We will bring about the dawn of a whole new world. It will be a saner, if somewhat snarky, place.

So that kidlet bike seat cum stroller does look like a great idea, fer sure, though it seems rather short and thus backache inspiring for those of us without hobbit genes.

And I'm sorry, Snobbers, but where are the boobies, hmmmmm?

Charlie said...

I read that Ted King will be retiring from pro cycling in 2015 in "greatest way possible".

By which he presumably means "spending the year posting inane comments on some little-read cycling blog".

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/ted-king-will-retire-after-2015-season

jodphoto said...

NYC already has the drivers, pedestrians and police they deserve.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Craig Richards said...

Yesterday I saw sidewalk salmon that were damn near tight rope walking right at the edge of the curb.

My city is crushing it when it comes to bike infrastructure and I often see several thousand dollars in bicycles riding on the sidewalks.

Which is annoying, but not nearly as annoying as the Fred who wanted to play chicken with me because my half of the bike path was a better line for his time.

Sidewalk salmon > Kamikaze Salmon Freds

Ooh, and then there was the lady wearing her helmet like a bonnet, which isn't too bad, while riding a fat bike, which is hilarious .

On second thought.. My trails are great.

P. Bateman said...

hey Snob, maybe you've answered this at some point, but does the Mrs. Snobly ride much? or is she more into knitting and running hedge fund stuff?

just curious.

babble on said...

Daddeo One, Esteemed Commentator version- Wouldn't that be nice? I don't think that many of us do, in fact, get the infrastructure we deserve. As the members of the population working hardest to overthrow our corporate overlords, we ought to be given protection in all circumstances, along with pedestrians, and yet instead we are at the greatest risk.

Old Timer - if you do decide to box a bike and do to the Fondon't, please consider stopping by Vancouver to pick me up along the way. I will do my utmost best to convince MikeWeb to join us on the ride, cause he is fast enough and strong enough to pull the lot of us...

McFly said...

I have never seen the words Jewish and volunteer beside one another. It looks funny.

dop said...

Those who ask where the boobies are should look in the mirror for their answer.

JRB said...

Do bloggers get the commentators they deserve?

JLRB said...

I lost an L - anyone seen it lying about?

dop said...

McFly...you're making me feel guilty..I trained with a doctor who volunteered with Hot Matzos...er Hatzollah...he never travels anywhere without his paramedic gear in the trunk...somewhere in the catskills the hotel staff zipped him out to his car and back on a golf cart so he could successfully rescusitate a friend of his parents whom he'd known from childhood.

pulmonary practice in West Palm beach. I refer all my snowbirds to him & they love him.

But Hatzollah still makes me shiver.

Magen David Adom said...

Who is this Hatzola of which you speak?

Grump said...

Dammit, for a minute there I thought that "cyclesafe" provided a small jet engine to provide that needed 800 extra watts for use on the bell lap. Another thing I noticed was that the rider in the video had leg warmers and bare arms. Jeeze...That violates 12 different fashion laws.

Anonymous said...

But do you get the yarn bombs you deserve?
http://www.missionmission.org/2015/04/30/200th-bike-rack-bombed/

dop said...

And is it just me, or does anybody else think Western Union is leaving a ton of money on the table by not promoting the Mammogram...\


this robot wasn't fooled by the coffee & beer...it knows wine

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

That GG Allin entry was an interesting read.

In a similar vein did you know there actually is a cleaning business in Cleveland called Cleveland Steamer,LLC?

janinedm said...

So I've been thinking about this episode that happened earlier this week. I went out to dinner in the East Village and was biking my way up to Washington Heights (just South of Lob's Country). For the record, I had lights as I was on a Workcycle. Anyway, the night was gorgeous. It was about 70 degrees, and my first jacketless night ride of the year and I was filled with snails and butter and bread and all types of french goodness so I'm keeping a respectable non-frustrating clip but mostly moseying because I'm in no rush for the ride to be over (~12mph). So here's the event: I reached a red light at a quiet intersection (near the New School). I could have run it. I saw a ped who was about to cross, but he was obviously used to getting buzzed by bikes so he stepped back, but I came to a stop and let him know he had the right of way and was almost immediately rear-ended by another cyclist who expected me run the light. It being a workcycle, nothing happened to me or mine, but I wonder if I was at fault. On one hand, I don't feel responsible for someone following me too closely to be able to brake. But I know that local customs just about dictated that I run that light rather than brake for the ped, so I was arguably being unpredictable in traffic. Don't get me wrong. I called the guy a dummy, because that's what I do, but was I wrong? (Also: he was not riding a track bike, but my take on track cyclists and their various braking issues can be summed up as "grow up. buy some breaks. you've made a personal choice that was criminally easy to avoid")

bad boy of the north said...

Please...no rioting during the snob rides and five boro.

Anonymous said...

So it's not going to be a political revolution but an ecological one? Why bother at this point? It's too late to reverse global warming and the ocean is acidified. I think you would be better off enjoying the simple pleasures of bicycle riding rather than thinking of such plots.

Boots said...

If all the time well-intentioned people spent developing such technological devices (for something as simple as riding a bicycle) went to simply changing urban design, road deaths would be eliminated from cities within 25 years.

It is such a reflection of our society that the onus of safety lies on the weak, forcing them to compete with and protect themselves from the strong.

Ted K. said...

”I think you would be better off enjoying the simple pleasures of bicycle riding rather than thinking of such plots.”

I used to enjoy the simple pleasures of walking in the woods, but there are no woods nor much room to walk at my present location, let alone ride a bicycle. And even though the bicycle is “good” technology, there is no separating good from bad technology. It all has to, and will, go.

Carrie and Fred said...

Indian Road Cafe, is that the place where they name the chickens and you can select your soon-to-be headless chicken by name?

Anonymous said...

Are the secret morning rides part of Ted's plot? Is that what you guys are talking about?

Herschel Raney said...

"You should learn to not be afraid while biking..." is my favorite comment on the Wash Bridge story. It was tempting to answer with a blitz of excessively filthy rebuttal.

Of course it was the girls fault. She had not steeled herself to imminent death well enough. She needs to get out there and ride in some high speed traffic. Jostle with some 18 wheelers. Get those testicles up to size.

What the hell.

Vernal Magina said...

Funny, missiles actually make that whooosh-ing, whistling sound as their about to it. It's not just in the movies.

Vernal Magina said...

*theyre.

Vernal Magina said...

*they're

Anonymous said...

Slap a "one less car" sticker on that Ukrainian car zapped by the missile.

JB said...

I want a bumper sticker for my car (that I own, since it is >5 yrs old) that says

"If I were a bike, you could go around me."

dop said...

MY OTHER CAR IS ALSO A PIECE OF SHIT

Dooth said...

“Cities get the cyclists they deserve. If you have good infrastructure, you will get good cyclists"...shitty infrastructure and you get the SCRANUS you deserve.

Spokey said...

JB

I have never, ever put a sticker on any car. Not even "My is a honor student"*

But I think I'd break down for that bumper sticker.



* Fortunately not all the urchins presented that dilemma.

Comment deleted said...

There are so many cum strollers on the streets these days, that it's very frustrating to be a pedestrian.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Janine Janine Janine DM ...
How dare you practice common sense, common courtesy, and other goodness and not expect to suffer some punishment.

You were right in all aspects- yield to peds, stop at the red, and curse out the sumbitch who almost unfixed yer wagon.
I too stop at red lights when it looks scary at the intersection or when there are people there (who have a green light).
Nothing wrong with promoting a little good will.

I get grazed sometimes when jackasses fly past the red and do a zig zag through moving traffic. Like who gives a rats arse? Especially when it's nice out. Sometimes I catch up to them, catch their draft for a while or just annoyingly shoal them at the next corner.
Worksman? I am going to put some toe clips on my 1956 red Schwinn Corvette and ride that once in a while for fun. Rear enders can impale themselves on my crutch tip rear rack.

The Williburg!!!

The descents on that path really have some nutjobs on crappy machinery with brakage of dubious function. I feel like someone is going to knock one of those garbage cans in my path then it's ALL OVA. Some kid's skateboard got caught under my front wheel. I have no idea how I remained upright.
[it's cause I'm slow as shit!]

The end result, end of the day thing is, I try to avoid everyone. I use a 3rd eye rear view mirror. If there's someone out there slower than me sucking on my wheel, I'll know it.

vsk

babble on said...

dop - That wouldn't really help. And besides, he TEASED us with maple leaf recumbabe! Free the boobie!

Spokey said...

finally watched today's videos

as a grandparent i protest.

1 - no pojo on my bike. never

2 - if you think one of my rotten progeny is going to dump their urchins off here and expect me to take them to the zoo while they flit around some bar guzzling beer, guess again.

Anonymous said...

Save a cap for me at the expo, plan on skipping the rides. too early for me on a Saturday and I'm a lone wolf and don't run in packs. Although the fondon't sounds enticing.

as far as who are bigger assholes drivers or cyclists. Generally, we are both and therefore both are.

Anonymous said...

I was doing a ride this morning and was passed by a friggin dude on a folding clown bike, I started pumping hard to keep up with thinking to myself "have I really gotten that slow?" and then I realized the had an electrical motor but was soft pedaling nonetheless probably just to fuck with me. I respected him for that.

Anonymous said...

"The overthrow of corporate governance is crucial to human survival, and the only way to win that particular war is to Stop Buying In to all of that car-centric bullshit" how about all of that bike centric bullshit, or is that not made by corporations? Actually not, by under-aged kids in China, employed by big corporations. Glass houses.

Dave said...

I love 'coming out of nowhere', causing panic, and then disappearing back into it. Just a perk of getting to Double Secret Clear. You also get a special ring, and the police have to call you Milord.

Dave said...

That Ted K is a real dolt, ain't he. The basis of the present society goes back to the invention of the hand axe, known then as the sharp stone. As for me I prefer not to scrabble in the dirt with my bare hands for a living. So advocate away, Ted, you wanker.

Anonymous said...

What's all the guff for TedK about? His tone is a bit arch but if you think about it at all, you know that he's right. The society we have is taking us to the brink or already has. Do you really love all the junk and death and wars and lies so much you can't look up?
People value capital and things over people and the natural.
They should bring back the guillotine but I'm open to other ideas. TedK?

dop said...

What's the big deal about TedK?

Anonymous said...

In the end It's all about the natural because that is what sustains our existence. Harmony with it would be nice, but we are a species that got where we are by being aggressive not reflective. So we lack the skills to be here for a longer term like most other species. It's been a crazy fun run, the last big circus on the planet. But the sun is dying so this will be the sixth and final extinction of the circus.

I actually like the position the Pahoj puts the child inwhile in strolling mode. it's as if you're showing off your entire baby to the whole world wherever you take it.

the best part of the video was when they simulated the baby pooping his diapers and then having the worst gas in the history of the world.

Spokey said...

with all this organic intellectual talk i may have to go back out on my custom made biek with its lovely giant corporation components.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. benDE@12:09 PM --

Oh great. Now my dog is doing his Freddy Mercury homage at top volume:

"I've paid my dues,
Time after time,
I've done my sentence,
but committed no crime."

He's going to be insufferable at karaoke night this week.

the Jimboner said...

68

the Jimboner said...

69

the Jimboner said...

oh yeah!

JB said...

I remember being embarrassed that I agreed with a bunch of Ted Kazinski's (sp?) "manifesto." I guess I'll be OK though, since it's been 15-20 years and mailing bombs has never crossed my mind. I have thought about moving to remote cabin, but it'll be in Colorado, not Montana.

Anonymous said...

Why embarrassed? Society needs to check itself.

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

Don't be embarassed. Not to go Godwin, but if there was a delicious strudel recipe in "Mein Kampf" I'd use it.

--Wildcat Erc.

Ted K. said...

"I have thought about moving to remote cabin, but it'll be in Colorado, not Montana."

I liked the place I had in Montana a lot better than my current abode in Colorado.

DB said...

Wait a minute.......
Does this mean no post tomorrow or will there be live streaming of the festivities?

DB said...

Oh, and I thought it was Ted Koppel.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Is a yarmulke worn under or on top of a helment?

leroy said...

Dear Mr. McFly @12:44 PM --

Well that's odd. My dog says that, at least to him, the words Tennessee next to Volunteer looks funny.

I've no idea what he's talking about.

The Greater Washington Chamber of Commerce said...

True fact: they disassembled Ted K's cabin and reassembled it board-by-board inside the Newseum in Washington, D.C.

Dr Green said...

Had I know Snobs was going to show up at the Big Deal Bike Showing(i missed the 15 times he mentioned it), I would have ridden into town on my Serotta wearing my sexy Dentist getup (white smock, no shorts) and joined the festivities. Damn, give me some notice next time.The yabbies are yearning for fresh air.

benDE said...

Snob, there is a crack team of skinheads in Oberammergau at this very moment 'bible coding' the shit out of Mein Kampf. Would have been done by now but they had to get it into Hebrew first (no small task for skinheads)

I'm personally holding out for a solid kaiserschwarm recipe

Spokey said...

benDE

let us all know if they find a good strudel recipe

Paul Kirby said...

"Frederica"? I thought females of the Fredly-persuasion were called "Wilmas".

Anonymous said...

By 'free caps!', do you mean free all-caps?

wishiwasmerckx said...

FREE CAPS

Freddy Murcks said...

I cat6ed a fixie rider on the Williamsburg Bridge while I was astride my marginally functional citibike. I was actually quite proud of myself.

babble on said...

anon @ 3:49 Oh for fucksake. Wake up. Bike centric cities are far and few between, and they are killing neither humans nor the environment the way that car-centric cities are. And in case you hadn't noticed, you can count the number of bike-centric cities in this world on half of one hand.

And our corporate overlords, with their worship of the almighty "shareholder return" is exactly and precicely the problem with the world today. It is the very root of the bullshit, car-centric, consume-at-all-costs-till-there-is-nothing-left world we have created. What does Snobi Wan call it? The Automotive Industrial complex? A world where bikes reign supreme would be a far cry from the mess we live in today, no matter where those bikes were built.

babble on said...

lol!n That's few and far between. Thought dyslexia.

babble on said...

And are. They are what's wrong... Sigh. One day I will learn to proofread.

Anonymous said...

Thank you babble. It's gross when ppl choose teams based on nitpicks. It's either Di2 or a rock chisel, no alternatives! Proud robotic defenders of the state. smh

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." Abraham Lincoln

BamaPhred said...

Scranus.
This is some epic commentating.
I've been "volunteered" for enough stuff to last a lifetime.

John Lennon said...

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're all doing what we can

Anonymous said...

John Lennon, Abe kicked your ass

Zodiac said...

Sexy Dentist Outfit!
FREE WILLIE!
i don't always ride with a free willie, but when I do, I make sure the spokes are not bladed.
On the sub epic ride, will we form up a peloton, or more likely as a Pee-La-Ton. What with all the coffee you know.
Will we ride by Untermeyer's?

Anonymous said...

Abe, and all these years I thought it was that Chapman loon. You mean his wife did it?

Holy Roller said...

I smeared some Cheeze Whiz on my toast today and the image of The Shroud of Turin was created by the power of The Holy Spirit! Praise the Lord!

Arizona hillbilly said...

All good points. We'll try to be kinder in our thoughts about a certain "Canadian hussy"...

Anonymous said...

"You mean his wife did it?".

HA! I see what you did there!

The Commentists here know their psycho killers...

(David B, that's your cue....)

wishiwasmerckx said...

99th...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Anonymous said...

Biggest damn megaphone I ever did see...or are Jewish kids just naturally puny?

Old-timer said...

Babble @ 12:42,

Lordy, I only wish I COULD stop by Vancouver and collect you for participation in SNOB’s “FonDon’t”! Wouldn’t that be a blast! (I even feel a friendly familiarity with Vancouver, thanks to all your really fine posts.) // Anyhow, I ain’t goin’ nowhere. No “real” money - or more accurately - just enough money to support my cycling - doughnuts and Coke habit. NYC? May as well be on the Moon. The only consolation regarding me missing SNOB’s very attractive rides, is that YOU, Babble, won’t be “there”. You’ll be “here”!

Kerry said...

Snob,

Serious call for advice here.

Two things I have learned on this blog. #1. I Suck. #2. Bike should live in their natural habitat. Since moving my bike back outside to nature (by nature, I mean under my carport) they now behave like a free range bike should...a few mor creaks and dust, but they seem much happier (as does my wife).

Since you often croon about your Brooks Cambium saddles, I wonder how you feel they would do living outside? The bikes stay generally dry but do get direct sun every day. I wouldn't want to shame the bike by putting a shower cap on the seat.

Bonus question, my scranous is shaped like a Shar-Pei...do you use the cutout version?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Kerry, in Japan

ce said...

Ted K., I just got a telepathic message sent to the cybernetic technology embedded in my head from Ray Kurzweil. He is asking me to pass on his greetings, and asks how you're finding the food. Does the GMO leave an aftertaste? Ray says not to worry about things, well, the internet of things. Nature will be just fine, it is just currently in a transition phase, making adjustments for the entry of a 6th kingdom of life. There will even be room for humans, immortal hyper-intelligent transhumans, in this new ecology, and they won't suffer from any of the indignities you are concerned about. Infact, it might be right up your alley. Once the techno ecology has matured and a large human population is no longer required for production of prosperity for the elite few, the masses can be decommissioned in one way or another, whichever is most profitable, and the elite few can go on living a peaceful, dignified life in harmony with the new nature. Biologically engineered and robotic organisms will provide for their needs as they explore and create. You'd love it! Best off all is if you get the upgrades now, your 8 lifetime sentences will fly by and soon seem but a distant memory as you enjoy the future techno paradise! So anyway, Mr Kurzweil askes if you will please consider.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Kerry,

No idea how the Cambium would fare outside, but really, what's the worst that could happen? If it starts getting funky stop leaving it outside.

I'm frightened of cutout saddles.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Kerry,

No idea how the Cambium would fare outside, but really, what's the worst that could happen? If it starts getting funky stop leaving it outside.

I'm frightened of cutout saddles.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Kerry said...

Good point WCRM,

Cambium it is then!

Anonymous said...

instigate
masturbate
exacerbate

bieks said...

Spokey 3:00 - ditto. JB - sticker for me too. Bulk discount?

bieks said...

Shit, better get on that redeye to JFK. Oh wait, gets in around 7am. Don't think I'll make it to the Bronx by 7:30 tho. Aw fergetit. Oh hey, I've got spending money for the weekend now. Woohoo!

babble on said...

Microsoft's new How Old Do I Look app pegged me at twenty. It's having trouble distinguishing between age and maturity.

Anonymous said...

Quick as you can. Hatzolah. Hezbollah. Hatzolah. Hezbollah. Hatzolah. Hezbollah. Hatzolah. Hezbollah