On your marks, get set...read!

Good morning!

Aren't Monday's the best?!?

This past Friday I wrote about how stupid mandatory helment laws are, and naturally anybody who wasn't a total idiot agreed with me.  Further to that post, I should point out that yet another reason helment laws suck is that they are terrible for bike share programs.  Here in New York City our bike share program has been a tremendous success (well, except for financially, but that's typical of public transit).  When using bike Citi Bike, some people wear helments and others do not, and (knock on wood) to date the streets have not run red with the blood of hapless bike sharers.

I did, however, receive this email on Friday:

"Dear God no!," I cried, and then I realized I live like ten miles from the nearest Citi Bike station and that I had no plans to go to Manhattan at any point during the weekend.  So instead I headed out on my half-assed budget approximation of a Rivendell (I call it the "Rivendon't") with the frame that's too small for me:

As cyclists we spend a lot of time fussing over every single bicycle component, but it's pretty hard to go wrong with a bike that has a leather saddle and 32mm tires.  It's an extremely comfy combo.  As far as ride quality goes, most of the rest of this stuff is incidental--including a frame that's on the small size.

That's why The Lord Our God created spacers.

Also, as I rode, I thought about this passage from that moronic Red Kite Prayer post and laughed repeatedly:

Maybe for the enthusiast it’s just obvious. Maybe because we do things that others simply can’t, we see no other option. We dive for corners, sprint for city limits, aggressively descend a local mountain. So it goes without question that some level of head protection is needed. 

It may be hard for some people to believe, but Freds really do take themselves that seriously.

(By the way, even with 32mm tires and a saddle made from a cow I totally won the city line sprint, though I guess I should disclose that I was riding by myself.)

Anyway, after everything Citi Bike came back on line sooner than expected:

Prompting the New York Times to ask the following question:

After it abruptly shut down this weekend, @CitiBikeNYC is up and running. Did the shutdown affect you? Reply below: http://t.co/2QtpjS0mZ8
— NYT Metro Desk (@NYTMetro) March 29, 2015

Which in turn prompted this guy to answer it:

@NYTMetro @nytimes @CitiBikeNYC No, it did not.
— Ryan Walls (@RyanWallsTweets) March 29, 2015

If in 2015 you still don't think social media has revolutionized news delivery then I direct you to the exchange above.

How we lived without this sort of interaction for centuries I have no idea.

Speaking of that dumbass California helment law, did you know that in addition to helments you'd also have to wear reflective clothing?

This bill would require every person, regardless of age, to wear a bicycle helmet when operating a bicycle, riding on a bicycle as a passenger, or riding in a trailer towed by a bicycle. The bill would also require a person engaged in these activities in the darkness to wear retroreflective high-visibility safety apparel, as specified. Because a violation of this requirement would be a crime, the bill would impose a state-mandated local program.

Worst case scenario you'll have to dress like a member of a roadwork crew, and best case scenario you'll be wearing something like this:

Unless your name is Gary Fisher I doubt you'll be very pleased.

People make a big deal about how stupid Lycra get-ups look off the bike (and, arguably, on the bike), though unless you work at a Gatsby-era golf course I'm not sure how walking into the office dressed like this is any better:

Plus, you'll still need the helment, and the only thing that goes with those goofy suits are those helment hats they're always trying to foist on the "cycle chic" crowd:

I have to confess I sort of hope they pass this law, only because I've often dreamed of living in California, and if this goes through I can be thankful that I don't and move on with my life.

In other news, the Astana pro doping team denies that their license has been revoked, and since Astana lies about everything we can safely assume that it has:

“We’ve met all the obligations, we received the licence in December with the condition that we undergo an audit and that we serve as a demonstration team for the audit that all teams will go through at the beginning of 2017,” the team said. “And that we would implement the recommendations made by the audit, in order to serve as a model team. There was never any mention in the December licence issuance that the audit would determine whether or not we would keep the licence.”

Oh save it.

Now if the UCI revokes the license of every other WorldTour team as well they'll finally be getting somewhere.

Finally, if you're a terminal tridork or time-trial weenie, you should know that Specialized has recalled 8,300 aerobars:

Specialized dealers have been notified that the fix requires mechanics to swap to low-stack aero extension, which use two bolts, rather than a single bolt. This swap, Specialized claims, should put riders in a similar position, but if not, they can contact Specialized Rider Care.

I assume that the engineers failed to take into account the fact that the average recreational triathlete weighs something like four times as much as a professional, hence the single bolt design.  Someone really should swap the "Specialized Rider Care" number with the Rivendell phone number, because anybody riding an S-Works Shiv is undoubtedly a wealthy aging person in a heavy state of denial, and maybe Grant Petersen can talk them onto a Rivendell where they belong.

I've heard of talking somebody down, but at Rivendell they talk you up instead: