Monday, March 30, 2015

On your marks, get set...read!

Good morning!

Aren't Monday's the best?!?

This past Friday I wrote about how stupid mandatory helment laws are, and naturally anybody who wasn't a total idiot agreed with me.  Further to that post, I should point out that yet another reason helment laws suck is that they are terrible for bike share programs.  Here in New York City our bike share program has been a tremendous success (well, except for financially, but that's typical of public transit).  When using bike Citi Bike, some people wear helments and others do not, and (knock on wood) to date the streets have not run red with the blood of hapless bike sharers.

I did, however, receive this email on Friday:


"Dear God no!," I cried, and then I realized I live like ten miles from the nearest Citi Bike station and that I had no plans to go to Manhattan at any point during the weekend.  So instead I headed out on my half-assed budget approximation of a Rivendell (I call it the "Rivendon't") with the frame that's too small for me:


As cyclists we spend a lot of time fussing over every single bicycle component, but it's pretty hard to go wrong with a bike that has a leather saddle and 32mm tires.  It's an extremely comfy combo.  As far as ride quality goes, most of the rest of this stuff is incidental--including a frame that's on the small size.

That's why The Lord Our God created spacers.

Also, as I rode, I thought about this passage from that moronic Red Kite Prayer post and laughed repeatedly:

Maybe for the enthusiast it’s just obvious. Maybe because we do things that others simply can’t, we see no other option. We dive for corners, sprint for city limits, aggressively descend a local mountain. So it goes without question that some level of head protection is needed. 

It may be hard for some people to believe, but Freds really do take themselves that seriously.

(By the way, even with 32mm tires and a saddle made from a cow I totally won the city line sprint, though I guess I should disclose that I was riding by myself.)

Anyway, after everything Citi Bike came back on line sooner than expected:


Prompting the New York Times to ask the following question:

Which in turn prompted this guy to answer it:

If in 2015 you still don't think social media has revolutionized news delivery then I direct you to the exchange above.

How we lived without this sort of interaction for centuries I have no idea.

Speaking of that dumbass California helment law, did you know that in addition to helments you'd also have to wear reflective clothing?

This bill would require every person, regardless of age, to wear a bicycle helmet when operating a bicycle, riding on a bicycle as a passenger, or riding in a trailer towed by a bicycle. The bill would also require a person engaged in these activities in the darkness to wear retroreflective high-visibility safety apparel, as specified. Because a violation of this requirement would be a crime, the bill would impose a state-mandated local program.

Worst case scenario you'll have to dress like a member of a roadwork crew, and best case scenario you'll be wearing something like this:


Unless your name is Gary Fisher I doubt you'll be very pleased.

People make a big deal about how stupid Lycra get-ups look off the bike (and, arguably, on the bike), though unless you work at a Gatsby-era golf course I'm not sure how walking into the office dressed like this is any better:


Plus, you'll still need the helment, and the only thing that goes with those goofy suits are those helment hats they're always trying to foist on the "cycle chic" crowd:

I have to confess I sort of hope they pass this law, only because I've often dreamed of living in California, and if this goes through I can be thankful that I don't and move on with my life.

In other news, the Astana pro doping team denies that their license has been revoked, and since Astana lies about everything we can safely assume that it has:


“We’ve met all the obligations, we received the licence in December with the condition that we undergo an audit and that we serve as a demonstration team for the audit that all teams will go through at the beginning of 2017,” the team said. “And that we would implement the recommendations made by the audit, in order to serve as a model team. There was never any mention in the December licence issuance that the audit would determine whether or not we would keep the licence.”

Oh save it.

Now if the UCI revokes the license of every other WorldTour team as well they'll finally be getting somewhere.

Finally, if you're a terminal tridork or time-trial weenie, you should know that Specialized has recalled 8,300 aerobars:


Specialized dealers have been notified that the fix requires mechanics to swap to low-stack aero extension, which use two bolts, rather than a single bolt. This swap, Specialized claims, should put riders in a similar position, but if not, they can contact Specialized Rider Care.

I assume that the engineers failed to take into account the fact that the average recreational triathlete weighs something like four times as much as a professional, hence the single bolt design.  Someone really should swap the "Specialized Rider Care" number with the Rivendell phone number, because anybody riding an S-Works Shiv is undoubtedly a wealthy aging person in a heavy state of denial, and maybe Grant Petersen can talk them onto a Rivendell where they belong.

I've heard of talking somebody down, but at Rivendell they talk you up instead:


87 comments:

Anonymous said...

Première!

Anonymous said...

Helmet: ON! Teeth and fists: CLENCHED. Eyes: NARROWED! Va VOOM!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

oh yeah baby


robot says arrke

dnk said...

Holy shit, strapping my helment on and missed the podium....

Anonymous said...

First

Theodore said...

Top ten ahhhh!

P. Bateman said...

top tan! because its sunny in florida and my tan is bangin.

Theodore said...

I also used to shit talk all the "podium!" dorks and top-tenners until I actually had a chance to be one myself. Also, I read the whole post first.

Spokey said...

top tennitus?

John Smith said...

Top 10?

John Smith said...

Arghh not bad for my first try

Mike O. said...

Top 20 maybe and proud owner of a 1998 Riv Road bike.

Jonh smith said...

Top twenni!!

ken e. said...

gc schlub

Craig Richards said...

Its gonna be unfortunate when a cyclist in helmet and reflective gear gets hit by a car and killed and the politicians of California realize that cyclists weren't (always) the reason for cars hitting cyclists.

Its kind of like making everyone wear bullet proof vests all the time so reckless gun owners can't shoot them.

reCUM and reCum Babe said...

Snuck in some ta ta's I see.

Craig Richards said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red Kite Player said...

Maybe for the enthusiast it’s just obvious. Maybe because we do things that others simply can’t, we see no other option. We dive for muffs, sprint for titty limits, aggressively ascend a local mountin'. So it goes without question that some level of head is needed.

Craig Richards said...

"Motorists keep killing cyclists, what do we do?"
"Well obviously we need to do something...so...let's put helmets on them!"
"Right! So when they do get hit they don't die!"
"Yeah, and we'll make them wear bright clothes, so they're more visible. That way when the driver looks up from their cell phone they'll see the cyclist and have time to lay on their horn."
"I think we've fixed that pesky problem. Oh! We can ticket them too!"
"The motorists or the cyclists?"
"The cyclists! We ticket them for not taking the necessary precautions to prevent themselves from being hit by motorists!"
"Yup, this is definitely the last we'll hear of that problem"

Bike4pizza said...

Where's ex gonerner Arnold, we all know he doesn't approve of helmets

Arnold? ARNOLLLLD!

And as for illuminated cycle suits? Well, hey maybe we have a standing chance against those bratty teens that are always texting and driving and crashing

streepo said...

I'm a total idiot, and yet, I agree with you.

leroy said...

My dog informs me that there really are times one has to sprint for the city limits.

He assures me, however, they have nothing to do with bicycle racing.

TelevisionWriter said...

8300 Shiv's sold. Merida is laughing all the way to the bank.

Sinyard will find someone in the bike industry to sue.

You know what activities Ahhnold approves?

[he] does things that others simply can’t, [he] sees no other option. [he] dives for muffs, sprint for titty limits, aggressively ascend a local mountin'. So it goes without question that some level of head is needed.

leroy said...

And for the record, my dog enjoyed his trip last week to California.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i have always asked my partners to first talk me up, and then work me down.

Spencer said...

As the snow melts and the sand n salt is cleared from the roads I start to encounter the weekend Freds out in full matching kit.
Hunched over the aero bars, skinny, rock hard tires, it is a good thing that they have those helmets on...one pot hole or gritty corner and they are going down.

Anonymous said...

I took a ride by my self on a biek with 32mm tires and a cow hide saddle as well. Won the city limit sprint against myself and everything. Then at mile 45 i bonked. Turns out i had been so busy diving into corners and descending the local mountains (here in florida) that i had forgotten to eat all day. So i did as any good fred would do and i called my girlfriend to come get me in her pickup truck. ~ Fin

Spokey said...

last time i raced for the limits by myselfie, i lost. didn't even come in second.

crosspalms said...

Well if it's not helment laws, it's licenses.

Meanwhile, my wife called me after I got to work to say she'd heard an enormous crash in our basement. Turns out the rack I mounted on the wall 5 years ago to hold a couple of bikes fell off, dropping those 2 bikes on top of her bike. Not looking forward to the cleanup/repair jobs ahead...

Similar Position said...

"...Specialized claims, should put riders in a similar position, but if not, they can contact Specialized Rider Care."

"similar position"

One could argue that man on top versus man on bottom are similar positions.

Endo-King said...

Okay, back to the helmet shit.

The big Summer cultural event in New Haven (that's in CT, which is even farther out there than Queens) is the Arts & Ideas Festival, which features theater, music, Kumbayah sing-a-longs, and the like. Also, Elm City Cyclists organize bike tours. This all sounds well and good, right?

The problem being, in promoting such bike tours - and great stuff, too, local farms, the Canal Trail, various cemetaries, (and a bike tour featuring the 1779 British Invasion of New Haven! Who knew? Wasn't that, like, way before the first monoaural issues of the Kinks?), the bike tours state 'Helmets Required.'

So, the question being, if one shows for whatever tour without a helmet, or with a stereo-mix Kinks, or, goodJesusChrist, an eight-track of the Pretty Things, is one open to Prosecution by the Helmet Thugs?

This is not a small matter, for the Connecticut types. After all, Pierre Lallement invented the bike in Ansonia, Henry Pope made buckets of money in Hartford manufacturing the same, and in New Haven, we can skip Kumbayah (check sp?), and we know we're not on the Guest List for the next Pretty Things gig.

I'm not like everybody else, . . .

PotbellyJoe said...

Proving once again that the true difference between hardcore freds and hardcore tridorks is that one will drown and the other will wear a helmet while drowning.

Name said...

Snob,

You need a Rivendell. You know you do. You can't get them out of your head. You've mentioned them every day lasrt week (or so it seems).

Make us happy and buy one already. We can't wait for the reviews.

Although, based on your criteria for evaluating a bike, with Rivs we would need to wait 20 years.

babble on said...

Oh. My. God. They want to legislate what you WEAR when you're riding a bicycle? Hello facist assholes. Mind you, it's really no different here. The government is pushing for an LNG plant in Howe Sound. They have offered a 30% tax break, and are willing to invest $25,000,000 in return for -get this- one hundred jobs. One hundred. The profits from this enterprise? Headed entirely offshore. The risks to our home and native land? Entirely ours. It's absolute bullshit, and all of the parties but the Green party are backing it, but our facist dictator Stephen Harper is proof positive that a vote for Green is a vote for Conservative. We're hooped, the lot of us. Unfuckingbelievable.

But bikes. Yes, it's true that as long as I am racing, Lazer Helmets remains a sound investment. I was a little surprised at the paramedics this weekend who insinuated that I might die if I refused to accompany them to the hospital for some more radiation. Thank goodness I didn't take their advice, though, because after all, it really is just a Big-Ass Bruise.

I forgot what I just said...

Will pedicab passengers have to wear helmets, too?

And if you are on private property and not on public roads or public property, I imagine you can go helment-free?


Pope-a-Dope said...

Hey, Endo-King.

It's Albert Pope, not Henry Pope.

Hoghopper said...

Awesome.

K-Bo said...

Julia's cleavage needs a helment.

babble on said...

Julia's cleavage needs its freedom. :)

David Olson said...

Snob,
Goofy tiller effect explained

The 3rd Splooge said...

Uma. Do you perform rapid inflation/deflation services to citibyke pilots?

balls™ said...

Babble,

Sorry to hear you hit the road again. I guess that Tyler Farrar racing camp wasn't such a good investment after all.


When I ride alone, I always come first.

Free Body Diagram said...

”Goofy tiller effect explained”

No. The article you link explains next to nothing correctly.
As always, Sheldon does it
best.

And to begin to understand bicycle handling in general, study this.

Francisco said...

What happened to Almighty Lob?

crosspalms said...

Those Gatsby golf course suits are painful, but I like the socks.

slow on the uptake said...

Is your use of "Monday's" for the plural intended to be ironic?

Jimi Olsen said...

Snob,

Is it true as reported by the Portland Press Herald that lob won the Scarborough, Maine, lobster singing/oral recitation competition? Press Herald reported "the great lob performed a stunning rendition of 'in a gadda da vida' playing all instruments simultaneously including a spot on drum solo, then threw in an amazing performance of 'like virgin' putting Madonna to shame.'

babble on said...

Thanks Balls...I'm ok -just a big pain in the ass. SNAFU. But yikes. Tyler's 2012 made my 2014 look like a walk in the park.

Schisthead said...

I thought it was an entertaining read, but I would have called it 'Goofy random incomplete thoughts about stem length quoted and regurgitated in no particular order'.

Not as funny as some 'cycling tip' sites, but still funny.

grog said...

Recumbabe, Superstar! Do you think you're what they say you are!
Thank Lob and Snob.

McFly said...

Can you get credit towards a set of those sweet ass flex bars? That Shiv would look baller with a set and some 4" bar ends.

S&M to Babble's Rescue said...

Babble had another interaction with Socialized Medicine over the weekend (or at least talked to paramedics in the employ of Socialized Medicine). Without S&M where would she be?

bieks said...

Great post Dickbag/Fuckwit/CitiBike User.

RTMS
WCRM
DBFW (gonna need 4 more knuckles)

just the facts said...

Babble,

I enjoy your posts but respectfully think you are entirely wrong on the LNG stuff. The 30% "tax break" just puts the depreciation rate on an even keel with other manufacturing facilities in the country. As for jobs, there will be a lot more than that, and many billions in tax revenue for citizens of BC and Canada. Economic activity is not a bad thing, and gas is a heckuva lot better carbon-wise and safety-wise than all the coal mines BC currently operates.

Cheers

P. Bateman said...

dang! that is one big ass bruise. ouch. good luck recovering and ...sitting, walking, twerking and most any other activity because that looks painful.

JLRB said...

Sprinting with myself, uh oh oh oh

JLRB said...

If you like your dystopian future you can keep your dystopian future

Spokey said...

i put my dystopian future inna da deetch

without a healment

Anonymous said...

I ask. Is the 'Uncurated Life' worth living?

bad boy of the north said...

Ninety nine point nine percent of the time,i don't wear a helment.today was one of those rare times.part of my route took me on route 9w in orange county ny.as anyone familiar with that road can attest,it can be akin to traveling the governor thomas e dewey thruway..

babble on said...

Mr Facts: Thank you. Seriously. I do very much appreciate that you read my work. I am honoured. Humbled.

So with all due respect, I beg to differ. There was an interview on the CBC's Early Edition this morning with John Weston the conservative MP for West Vancouver, Sea to Sky, and the Sunshine Coast, and he emphasised again and again that there would be precicely 100 jobs generated by this project, with an additional 30 jobs created in Squamish as a spin off of the increased spending in town. I kid you not. Twenty five million dollars (never mind the tax breaks) for one hundred jobs. These are his numbers, not something I pulled out of a hat. I was not the only person whose jaw hit the floor. How can anybody still believe this is a good investment?!

The drop in oil prices might be a boon to Canadians in the long run, as it will make the development of the Tar Sands along with innumerable LNG projects untenable for at least another ten or fifteen years, by which time alternative (yes, read sustainable) forms of energy will be more acceptable to the political climate of the day. Why? Because the Me generation, the baby boomers, will begin dying off and today's youth, who don't even want to drive cars, will finally have their say. Sorry. Harsh, but true.

Natural gas extraction is ridiculously short term thinking, because the truth is that our fresh water is by far and away the most valuable resource we have, and not only does LNG use hideous quantities of it for extraction, but it poisons aquifers, literally risking the wellbeing of generations to come. Never mind the disruption to the mantle -nobody round here wants to see that dreaded subduction quake happen - specially not before all of our schools have seismic upgrades. I object to LNG, and to Tar Sands extraction, with my eyes wide open, having worked for Total in the UK, and for some first rate, award winning geologists here, too.

If my governmnent is going to give tax breaks to anybody, I want to see them go to companies planning for a sustainable future, (I want grandchildren!) and not for more petrochemicals today. Harper's plan to put all of our economic eggs in the oil and gas basket was very misguided, and we will collectively pay for his narrow minded mistake for the next full economic cycle. Years.

But that's a high enough price to pay. We really do need to leave the dinosaurs in the ground now; it's well past time to let them rest in peace.

Sincerely, and with all due respect... xx

babble on said...

Master Bateman - yes, it so surely is. And it's ever so much more colourful today. It instantly swole up to a remarkably Kim KardASShian-esque shape when I tumbled, which is why the paramedics wanted me to go with them.

Mr Facts...ps - I wholeheartedly agree about coal. That's even worse than LNG, and it, too, needs to stay in the ground. Also, I can accept being wrong - it happens often enough. I readily acknowledge my mistakes so as to learn from them and move on. But when it comes to LNG development... nope. It just ain't so.

Anonymous said...

Re RKP Far from the "Soul of Cycling" that they tout themselves to be, they might better call themselves the "Pasha's of Pretension". Good writing and all that, but if they represent our collective cycling soul then all is lost

Anonymous said...

World wide car sales and energy use didn't even go down during the Recession: China and India had dramatic increases that more than offset the West. And they will continue to do so; along with Indonesia, Thailand, Korea, Turkey, Slovakia, maybe even potentially huge Russia, and they are not all old people....

Anonymous said...

Babs those medics just wanted to get you in the ambulance to apply a series of salves to your bum. CLEAR!

Crocodile Kahfukkski said...

In a world ruled by the great lob there is no hate, no boiling or steaming death, no butter and no lemon. There is awesome shrimp scamp, wicked T-Bone steaks, an awesome array of hard and soft recreational beverages plus an ostentatious* array of medicinal herbs.

*austentatious down undah

Spokey said...

donna know bouts that babs

maybees we're dis-usual but in this straw chewin family, its the younger gen that runs around in gas guzzlers. lil sis does have a ford escape, but the rest are driving prius' cheap toyoters etc. over in the spokey house spousy and i each get gas about once a month. that's about 13 gal us.

kids are driving rav4s, outbacks, ford explorers, v6 accords, v6 maximas, etc.

grandkids ain't behind the wheel yet.

oh, and the urchins aren't very good at recycling either.

hope the butt is getting better

JCB said...

Biggest Riven"don't" is ugly clamp-on stem rather than tall & taller quill. I shudder.

JCB said...

Sorry, babble on, this is delusional self righteous horseshit: Because the Me generation, the baby boomers, will begin dying off and today's youth, who don't even want to drive cars, will finally have their say. Sorry. Harsh, but true.

S and M the BABBLE Way said...

Babble is really into the S & M, with frequent visits to the S & M house of pain aka Sociallized Medicine .

BamaPhred said...

Helmented Day-Glo reflective jacket of dystopian authority scranus.

bieks said...

Haha Spokey, reminds me of a Baby Boomer coworker who rides everywhere, to meetings, etc. His son started working with us and drives to work. Looked at me in my rain gear & helment with this smirk like "oh, you're a weirdo like my dad".

NucUlar Rocks! said...

heh-heh-heh

Old-timer said...

All in all, a pretty nice Monday here in Central California. Greatly enjoyed reading BSNYC this morning, as always! Went for an easy bike ride. No “diving into corners”. Wore the helmet: not stylin’, not proselytizing, just do. Went for a walk later. Wore shoes. It’s not a law to wear shoes here. Don’t care if you do or don’t. It’s just, you know, for my foot protection. // Was nonplussed to hear about Babble’s recent “crash ’n Burn”. That girl, she has more intrepidity than Leroy’s dog has fleas. Not to mention her gorgeous legs! // Onward…

babble on said...

Ah Spokey... sorry. Guess I should have specified: present enlightened members aside. Sigh. Stripping me of my last remnant hopes for humanity, are you? We're well and truly hooped, then.

There's no hope. :'(

Anonymous said...

Babble, because of YOU, and people like you…there will always be hope. Never quit the fight.

McFly said...

I would acquire a Black Brooks leather-way saddle for my Rivendon't but it's cool factor would be lost on the rednex of the TN population. Guess I will stick with my Selle Italia SLR so I can say "It's made in Italy...." to which they reply "Does your pa know your a gay?"

Anonymous said...

insert selfie of your azz here

Whatever sukse... said...

What's with the Indonesian advertising?

Endo-King said...

Re: Pope-A-Dope

Thanks for the correction. Then again, I wasn't named in his Last Will & Testament, so have little interest in his legacy. Besides, there's a Henry Pope, somewhere . . . Google, Facebook, NSA . . .

I WAS astounded to learn (I spent a bit of time in upstate CT over the past few indictments), that Albert Pope's (ck sp?) bicycles cost the equivalent of one YEAR'S paycheck for the average American worker.

Can you imagine anyone, ANYONE?, spending their entire year's income on a bicycle nowadays? And people that do, we don't talk to them anyway.

Endo-King said...

Re: LNG Facilities in CN

I'm following Babble on this one. Sounds much like the Keystone XL charlie-foxtrot. Direct action is under-rated.

Besides, I'm betting that Babble wears a hell of a suicide-vest.

David G said...

"Because a violation of this requirement would be a crime, the bill would impose a state-mandated local program."

I don't understand the second half of this sentence, but the first half is extremely disturbing. They're saying violation of the helmet and reflective gear law would be a crime, not just a violation like a parking, or even speeding, ticket. And since the quote is from an official source, it's not a mistake.

So being on the road, or a suburban cul de sac for that matter, after whatever the cop thinks is "dark" without your highway-worker vest on could give you a criminal record.

Cara gacor said...

Why when cycling makes me a little knee pain?

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موقع عاجل - محرك بحث اخباري عربي (اخر الاخبار من جميع المصادر) موقع عاجل - محرك بحث اخباري عربي (اخر الاخبار من جميع المصادر)
عاجل اليمن (اخر الاخبار والاحداث في اليمن) عاجل اليمن (اخر الاخبار والاحداث في اليمن)
عاجل السعودية (خبر عاجل اخر التطورات والاحداث بالسعودية) عاجل السعودية (خبر عاجل اخر التطورات والاحداث بالسعودية)
عاجل مصر (عاجل ام الدنيا كل ما يحدث بمصر اولا بأول) عاجل مصر (عاجل ام الدنيا كل ما يحدث بمصر اولا بأول)
عاجل موبايل (لا تبحث عن الخبر مع عاجل انت في قلب الحدث ) عاجل موبايل (لا تبحث عن الخبر مع عاجل انت في قلب الحدث )