Pefrection is Overated.

Last week we took an in-depth look at the Visp Whatever-This-Thing-Is:

And subsequently WorkCyles informed me there's also a version with sweet three-spoke wind-cheating, squirrel-slicing mags:

Hey @bikesnobnyc you seen this awesome deal on a 14sp aero road bike? http://t.co/SxdxjiV0J9
— WorkCycles (@WorkCycles) February 23, 2015

Here's a closer look:

If nothing else, the design team at Visp clearly have their fingers on the pulse of the high-end bicycle market.  Unfortunately, they're wearing oven mitts and can't feel anything, so this bike is basically them yelling "Clear!" and zapping us with the defibrillator paddles.  Actually "The Defribrillator" would have been a good model name, but they went with "Machete" instead, which is even better:

It's especially fitting on the tri-spoke version since, should you attempt to adjust the rear derailleur, the rotor, the kickstand brace, and the wheel will conspire to slice your forearm like a Boar's Head bologna.

By the way, if you're regretting having already bought the other version, you can always buy those Accrue wheels separately and "upgrade:"

Company Overview

ACCRUE is originated from U.S.A.,a famous auto wheel manufacturer.Mr Mike brought its technology into one piece bicycle wheel industry,it created a new concept of one piece wheel in bicycle industry by making the first set magnesium wheel in China in 2008.
Ningbo ACCURE SPORTS EQUIPMENT CO.,LTD. is located in Ningbo,the beautiful Delta area of Changjiang river.All our products were designed by a specialist team in U.S.A.,equipments come from Germany.Our company are subject to Mr.JACK’s administration policy of Humanization,standardization and specialization,were cooperated with  some famous  brand  such as ACCRUE(America),SORUN(Italy),CREATE(UK) worldwide.
Ningbo ACCURE SPORTS EQUIPMENT CO.,LTD. Is very expecting your visit and cooperation

You don't want to cross Mr. Jack.

In other hot bicycle product news, Leroy's Dog spotted this bike at the Brooklyn Museum:

It is by artist Ai Weiwei, and it can be yours for only $27,500:

Ai Weiwei, one of China’s most famous and prolific contemporary artists, created this limited-edition artwork to support the Brooklyn Museum’s recent presentation of his major survey exhibition, Ai Weiwei: According to What? The bicycle, the main mode of transportation for much of China’s population, is a recurring theme in Ai’s work. This limited-edition artwork is stamped on the head tube with a signature and edition number, includes an imprint of an image of the artist’s face on the seat, and is accompanied by two signed wrenches and a certificate of authenticity.

Wow, looks like Ai Weiwei is looking to out-Budnitz Old Man Budnitz himself.  I especially like how this bike is a less practical version of a $500 mail order bike from State Bicycle--though as a cyclist I can certainly appreciate the attention to detail, right down to the half-a-fender:

Plus, you get to sit on his face:

Of course, if you want a more Fredly bike for your twenty grand, you could always buy a Specialized-McLaren Venge-Schmenge, which is just what someone in Portland did:

BP: Can you tell us anything about the lucky owner (is he/she local)?
RCB: The McLaren is for a customer who is local. He’s a very dedicated rider who works in the automotive industry and appreciates the reputation, quality and precision of McLaren’s work. He’s also a big fan of Specialized and the geometry of the Tarmac model works very well for him.

BikePortland posed that question very diplomatically, because I would have phrased it thusly:

"You live in in the bespoke artisanal handmade bicycle capital of the world, yet you paid $20,000 for a plastic Specialized.  Isn't that like living in Tokyo and having pre-packaged sushi rolls flown in from a Safeway in Phoenix?"

BP: Specialized says it’s “most technically advanced bike ever”… But what does that translate to a non-techy bike lovers?
RCB: This bike is the most technically advanced bike ever because of the McLaren influence. McLaren is mostly known for its work with Formula One racing cars and has vast experience in carbon lay up, design and aerodynamics. So, while the tube shapes and geometry are fully Specialized engineered, the collaboration with McLaren offered a new level of carbon design and manipulation that will result in reduced weight and drag, improved ride quality and durability. Similarly, the frame was painted at McLaren so the weight and durability of the paint is above and beyond what Specialized normally uses. All of the chrome accents on the frame are made from chrome metal paint rather than chrome colored paint. They were able to use significantly different bearings in the bottom bracket than normal, vastly improving the durability and reducing friction. The rather large price tag is not necessarily the result of the “limited edition” status but from the technological and performance upgrades such a price can allow.

The only "technically advanced" aspect of the bike is the electronic shifting, which has nothing to do with Specialized or McLaren.  As for the "vastly improved" bottom bracket, before all these stupid press-fit interfaces a bottom bracket was quiet and lasted and spun roughly forever, so perhaps in 20 years the McSchmenge will use revolutionary new one-piece sealed cartridge technology as well as a proprietary press-fit crank arm interface:

($99?)

BP: Any other comments?
RCB: This bike is a great example of the passion Portland area cyclists have and the commitment to performance and innovation Specialized has. We’re excited to be a part of the whole process. I’ve been told that this was the only McLaren sold north of San Francisco and east of Boulder. Not sure if that’s entirely true but it’s safe to say that there won’t be many riding around this area.

Is it really a great example of cycling passion?  Or is it just further proof that Boulder, San Francisco, and Portland now form an area known as the "Fred Triangle?"

Anyway, I thought it rather ironic that a post about the sale of a $20,000 bicycle included this message:

Though perhaps this is a subtle attempt on BikePortland's part to guilt the owner into kicking in a few bucks.

Speaking of the Fred Triangle, an informant informs me that someone in Boulder can't handle "The Lance Package" anymore:

The Lance Package - Good Stuff - $150 (Boulder)

So now that Lance keeps doing boneheaded shit, I am selling some of my collectables. Did you hear about his latest ruckus in Aspen, hitting those parked cars? JEEZ!!!! What a guy.

So........I just can't hold onto my Lance crap anymore, but surely there's someone out there who loves him more than I do. For sale is a vintage USPS jersey (size XL), hardbound copy of "Lance" (author: John Wilcockson), and a SIGNED copy of Comeback 2.0 (signed by him, and Liz Kreutz). I got the signed copy of Comeback 2.0 when I was at Mellow Johnny's in 2009. All are in near mint condition, and the jersey is like new (never wore it, too large for me). All are being sold "as is", as one package, and will sell on one condition, that the future owner proudly display items on his or her coffee table, or pinned up in the shop wall, for all to see!!

Oh, and even if you aren't interested in The Lance Package, here's a link to Sheryl Crow's song, "If It Makes You Happy". Enjoy.

Evidently it was the drunk driving incident of all things that pushed the seller over the edge, though I'm not sure how you can call it "The Lance Package" if it doesn't include a lone Neuticle:

I mean come on.

Meanwhile, Bernard Hinault says the whitest sporting event this side of the caber toss isn't going to stay that way for much longer:

"These guys have perhaps got something else on their side, and that's their hunger to succeed! They really want to get out of the difficulties they find themselves in, just as we did 60 or 70 years ago. If you become a high-level athlete, that gives you the chance to better yourself, to make a better life for yourself."

Actually, they're more than ready to win the Tour, they're just waiting for Phil Liggett to retire first:



Oh, Phil:



And let's not even address his psycho-sexual wheel-changing narration, or his predilection for making gentle love to wombats:

(Via a reader.)

He's the Bill Cosby of marsupials.

Lastly, yesterday I mentioned "Vision Zero," and here's a fun article:

Police have arrested 17 drivers — including six MTA bus operators — under the controversial Vision Zero law that raises the stakes for motorists who hit pedestrians or bicyclists.

Yes, a law that means you can get in trouble for hitting pedestrians and cyclists with your car is considered "controversial,"  which goes to show you just how fucking stupid people are.  "Gee, I dunno if somebuddy who runs me over should get in trubble," opines your typical idiot.

Anyway (and I can't take credit for this idea, I think some commenter on Streetsblog pointed it out), it's worth noting that in the relatively rare instances when the NYPD have applied the law, they've done so disproportionately to city bus drivers--which, if you're the cynical type, might lead you to suspect that maybe the police are trying to generate negative publicity for the law and undermine De Blasio and his whole "Vision Zero" program.  If so, it's certainly working:

But transit union officials and some City Council members argue that MTA bus drivers are unfairly being treated like criminals for accidents that happen even when they are not driving recklessly.

And not only has the transit union attempted to use this as the basis for a class war, but they also want to be exempt from the law altogether:

The union, Transport Workers Union Local 100, says the arrest on Friday of the driver, Francisco DeJesus, a veteran with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, was uncalled-for; it has supported a proposed amendment in the City Council to exclude bus drivers from the law. The union created a hashtag — #LetsBePerfect — for its 10,000 bus operators, protesting that the mayor’s policy, Vision Zero, unreasonably demanded perfection.

DeJesus does make a good point, because nothing is more un-American than demanding perfection.  In fact, it's the driving force (pun intended) behind our automotive industry--just ask Bob Dylan!

No, here in America it's only acceptable to demand perfection from pedestrians and cyclists, because everything's always their fault:




Oh well, I'm off to watch some reckless bus driver porn.

Prefection is for commonists.