Monday, August 4, 2014

Life Is Like a River: Long, Wet, and Full of Sewage

I'm a loner, Dotty.  A rebel.  I don't buy into that "Voluminati" nonsense.  I photograph my bikes in the little ring from the non-drive side--and poorly!  I go out of my way to wear mismatched shorts and jerseys.  And I only wash my bikes when they reach the point at which I am unable to tell them apart.  (There is no greater let-down than to hose down a bike in anticipation of a ride, only to discover it's the Specialized.)

This is not to say I don't have my own sense of propriety, because I most certainly do, and there are certain "rules" to which I do adhere.  For example, in New York City, everybody knows that it is extremely gauche to be seen on a road bike on a summer weekend after 12:00pm.  There are only two exceptions to this rule, and they are:

--You are returning from a bicycle race;
--You are returning from a pre-arranged and highly contrived "epic."

Otherwise, to be Fredding about with all the other Freds at the unseemly hour of 12:30pm, 1:00pm, or [gasp] 1:30pm is, well, unseemly.  It's like wearing shorts and flip-flops to the theater.  Part of the reason for this is that you want to be home before it gets too hot, but there's also a much more pressing concern.  See, the discerning cyclist knows that the Team Sky kits and the aerobars start appearing at about 10:00 or 11:00am, and by noon the parks, bridges and greenways are thick with them, which is why you want to start your ride as early as possible, and by mid-day you want to be off the road, cleaned up, and transitioning to some other more urbane pursuit, lest any onlookers associate you with the rest of the Lycra-clad rabble, and lest any of these detestable Freds and tridorks start waylaying you by asking you for tools.

Sure, on a weekday it's acceptable to sneak in an afternoon ride, and in the winter it's fine to go out later owing to the late sunrise and crisp early morning temperatures (not to mention the fact that 95% of detestable Freds and tridorks hang up their wheels once the mercury plunges below 60 degrees American), but on these summer weekends you want to be off the bike before the mimosas go to Fred's head during brunch and he decides to head up to Central Park afterwards for hot laps on his CervĂ©lo at the ungodly hour of two freaking thirty in the afternoon.

Having said all that, yesterday I broke my own rule, because it was raining in the morning and I decided to go "full woosie" and wait until it stopped.  Moreover, family was headed to Brooklyn that afternoon, so I figured I'd Fred about on the roads north of the city for awhile and then head down through town to meet them, which would take me through a number of Fred hot zones, not to mention pretty much every pocket of brunch-addled douchebaggery in Manhattan.

Certainly one of the most concentrated spots in trouble spots is Central Park.  Should you ever find yourself on a bicycle in Central Park on a summer afternoon, be advised the park road will be full of pedestrians, tourists on rental bikes, children taking their first triumphant pedal strokes after the training wheels have been removed by a building superintendent for a $50 tip, runners, pedicabs, and even horses, assuming DeBlasio hasn't sent them all to the glue factory yet.  Therefore, you need to take a deep breath.  You need to be patient.  You need to ride slowly and considerately.  You need to treat it as an opportunity to "spin down" after your Fredly exploits on the other side of the bridge.

Nevertheless, there are always some overzealous Freds (yes, I realize this is redundant as Freds are by definition overzealous) tearing around the park as fast as their little legs will carry them and yelling "on your left" at small children--or, in the case of the rider below, squeezing between me and some rent-a-bike tourist and nearly chopping my front wheel in the process:


Who knows what invisible hand guides these Freds, though I imagine it's emblazoned with the word "Strava," and that it is also lubricated and ready for wanking.

[Even worse, there's always some fat bike blogger riding around with no hands while taking crappy pictures of people with his smartphone.]

Then, further downtown, I encountered this:


Notice how the ice cream truck sidles right up to the bike lane, transforming it from cyclist thoroughfare to pre-diabetic waiting area:


This is really good thinking on the driver's part, because when your child hears that delightful jingle and goes running for the ice cream truck, you want him or her darting right into bicycle traffic.

I thought about saying something to the driver, but it was Sunday afternoon, I was trying to enjoy myself, and I didn't particularly relish the idea of getting into an argument with an ice cream vendor, for it seemed the very antithesis of a pleasant summer day.  In fact, I was already breaking another of my own rules by taking pictures of the whole thing, because I loosely adhere to a no-photo policy on my recreational weekend rides.  (Fumbling with electronics takes me out of my Fredly reverie.)

I do think I might start carrying vinyl letters with me though, and next time this happens here's what I'm doing:


He won't realize why nobody will get near his truck until he goes to wash it.

Meanwhile, as I was cowering inside waiting for the rain to stop, hordes of intrepid triathletes were diving into a river of shit:


They call it the Hudson Mustache, the thick band of silty debris that clings to a swimmer’s upper lip after a nearly mile-long paddle down the Hudson River in the New York City Triathlon. The race is one of the few times a New Yorker will voluntarily plunge into the sometimes unsanitary waterway. So on Sunday morning at dawn, under a light veil of rain, 4,000 wet-suited athletes gamely leapt off the dock at 99th Street to swim, bob or, in some cases, back-float downstream, carried by the river’s swift current.

"Hudson Mustache?"  Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's already got a name, and it's "Dirty Sanchez."

By the way, did you know this?

Casey Neistat, a filmmaker and triathlete...

Cue needle-dragging-across-record sound.

I had no idea he was a tridork.  Guess that's why he's so good at crashing.

Anyway, when I woke up early yesterday to ride and discovered it was raining, I was pretty annoyed, but I did feel a little better knowing that when I flushed to toilet I was delivering sewage directly to a triathlon:

Experts said the weekend’s rain could have been enough to stress the city’s sewage treatment system, much of which was built long ago, so that a stream of untreated and partly treated sewage, mixed with street water, flowed directly into the river.

Eeeew.

So what is the difference between doing the New York City Triathlon and doing a regular triathlon and letting someone shit on face afterwards afterwards?  As it turns out, very little:

“Last year, when I got out I had a chunk of sludge stuck on my cheek; it took a bottle of water to get it off,” she said, standing in the corral Sunday morning awaiting her next foray into the river. “It’s strange to do a swim where you’re wearing goggles and you still can’t see your hand in front of you.”

It's like GG Allin came back as a sporting event.

Lastly, here's the winner of that Oregon Manifest "Ultimate Urban Utility Bike" contest:


It's the Seattle bike, and basically the handlebars are the lock:



And instead of fenders it uses brushes:


If you'll excuse me, I'm now off to fasten a toothbrush to my chainstays.

127 comments:

Flyover BC said...

podium

Anonymous said...

hey!

cycle

Adam Titley said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

pack fodder

Anonymous said...

SQNYC pODiumsm!?

BamaPhred said...

Begrimed

JB said...

FOTO SFER

dnk said...

"ON YOUR LEFT!"

babble on said...

Oh yeah? Well, I am a loner, a rebel, and just plain old dotty.

Anonymous said...

Toppus Tennish?

Anonymous said...

Casey is awesome with the bail and roll crash simulation.

babble on said...

OMG. I am really good at crashing. Does that mean I am actually a tri-dork in disguise?

Went for a ride with Bill on Saturday... just past the bridge to fred heaven in Richmond, we ran into a stretch of road which is about to be paved, and found ourselves on a 1/2 km of packed sand. I found myself on the unpacked edge of the road and fell to the right, onto my broken shoulder. But I didn't put my hand out to brace my fall, and I rolled on impact, so no damage done.

Cept it seems more and more likely that I am a born triathlete.

Anonymous said...

NYC Triathlon:
Shit swim, dork ride, the runs

PotbellyJoe said...

“Last year, when I got out I had a chunk of sludge stuck on my cheek; it took a bottle of water to get it off,”

Talk to John Boy Walton. His required surgery afterwards.

Anonymous said...

my scrotia swells disproportionately in the warmer months.

Sandman said...

What's 13:00?? Is that metric time?

grog said...

Flush twice, it's a long way to the Hudson. Thanks.

trama said...

I'm confused about the bike contest dealio. It's confusing. If they put some old touring bike in there, you know, something like the $140 Univega with racks and fenders and a kickstand, would it win? WTF is going on?


"topipap from", indeed

Anonymous said...

Glad the Portlandia team won the douche bike contest. Hotter chicks on the team.

David said...

I checked at CafePress and no one's created the Registered Sex Offender decal yet. Where's the entrepreneurship?

Flyover BC said...

Leave early and avoid the traffic and the heat.

Get home early and avoid the drunks.

Lots of noon, and later, Fred sightings the last few weeks.

But otherwise empty roads before 9:00 am(erican)

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I'm trying to eat my lunch

Anonymous said...

diabetic waiting area, good one.

I beg to differ on the best time to ride on the weekends. I took off for a ride on Saturday at the very civil hour of 11AM. It's the weekend and I'm not getting up before 9AM for anything. I was surprised (pleasantly) how few cyclists were out given I did the fredtasticly popular Riverside, GWB, 9W, Nyack out and back route. I was even more shocked to find only one other cyclist in the Runcible Spoon. One. I guess it was because there was a chance of rain even though there was not a drop during my three hour ride. The lack of other cyclists reminded me of the winter. I loved it.

Freddy Murcks said...

HELLO, BROOKLYN!!!

Freddy Murcks said...

I got up at 6:00 yesterday so I could go for a mountain bicycling ride. I didn't see any freds, barneys, or tri weenies. I did, however, see quite a few squirrels and two deer. I hate getting out of bed, but I never regret going for an MTB ride. And if you prefer seeing wildlife to seeing people, it's best to go early in the morning.




2021




The Robot Engineer said...

Those bristle fenders intrigued me. I wonder how well they work.
Your toothbrush comment made me recall the CRUD Roadracer Mk2 fenders that are made to fit road racing bikes with tight clearance around the tires. They use a bristley (is that a word?) device to maintain clearance by spacing themselves off the brake track.
http://www.crudproducts.com/roadracer-mk2/

The Robot Engineer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
samh said...

Fat-bike blogger or fat bike-blogger?

Roille Figners said...

I feel like the brushes might keep bits o'glass from embedding themselves. No idea how well they'd work as fenders.

McFly said...

Shitathlon? Somewhat related. My 13 yr old son has decided flushing his doody and soiled TP down is no longer part of the #2 process.

1. One Warning was given

2. Didn't work. XBOX controllers were confiscated.

3. Next action (not there yet),said controllers go in with the marinading crap stew.

Anonymous said...

is that chic at the ice cream truck waiting for a "Nutty-Buddy"?

and are those gals swimming over to the Island de Lesbos?

crosspalms said...

Things I saw on a fairly short, slow ride with some friends along Chicago's Lakefront path Sunday:

-- hundreds of people ambling northward as part of the Biggest Loser run/walk, whose organizers had helpfully posted no advance notice, but placed traffic cones down the middle of the path to make both lanes narrower.

-- four Freds racing in a pace line in the opposite direction, yelling "yo, yo, yo!" to make people get out of their way. There were other Freds, but these were the most egregious.

-- a guy swerving off the bike path toward a sledding hill and wiping out (nice roll, though) on the wet grass. When I stopped, he said he was OK, that he'd landed on his shoulder but he'd done it before and his experience was he should just lie there till he felt better. Another guy offered to make a call, but again wipe-out guy said no thanks.

-- cyclist on his hands and knees next to 2 upended bikes. Small crowd around him, fire truck was there and an ambulance was half a block away. Don't know what happened, but it was right next to a bad patch of the path: potholes on both sides, fairly deep gravel on one side. Lots of ways to go flying.

This morning's commute was peaceful by comparison.

GG Allin said...

When I penned the immortal "Suck It You Scum" I had the Hudson in mind.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wishing you all an easy fast on Tisha Ba'av.

Roille Figners said...

So you're saying the Fredden Hordes are out swarming the streets by 1pm or thereabouts. What time do they go back into their caves? Dinnertime? No later than sundown for sure, because otherwise they would have to go through the embarrassment & horror of mounting front & rear lights, which is like, many grams and sooo non-aerodynamic. So after dark the road is open to you for fredding.

NITE FRED

Anonymous said...

Talk to a frendamine yesterday this morning who did the athlon. He said the Hudson water was so disgusting he really didn't want to think about it. You always swallow some !!

Last Thursday? Getting on the Williburg to go home at about 7:00pm when, upon entering the protected part just after the lower stone wall where there's lots of pedestrians, some guy on an old mountain bike crashes into the stainless(?) steel fence that juts out into the protected area at street level. He hits it and flips over the fence and the bike follows him and lands on top of him. I thought he was DONE. I mean, cops even stopped their car to offer assistance. Guy was OK, he lost both his brakes. I saw both cables snapped (or at least the one still functioning let go. He knew he was going to eat it.
I guess mountain biking is dangerous.
Sidling and idling ice cream truck. Awesome.

Most importantly . . . Holy Crap Ms. Babble! Be more careful with your hot self! I hope all stays ok on the mend!

vsk

DB said...

Crosspalms:
It was also Lollapoloza Weekend in Chicago which could have had something to do with it.
Probably not, though.

flank_streak_commentatorbot said...

Wait a minute. some number near 4000 people had no second thoughts about swimming in a waste-filled (the bad kind) body of water? 4000 people!

Nice to see the tire sweeper making a comeback. Snobby may recall the little wire tire sweeper that fit underneath the brake caliper and swept the tire. Light and useful wherever it rains frequently!! Specialized warned you your biek is not suitable to be used as a biek, so you can't use them on modern biek.

Any of you rocket scientists bought those biek with the rear brake under the bottom bracket? It was an endless source of frustration 20 years ago and will be for the suckers buying it now.

JB said...

Freddy Murcks @ 1:13pm: Early mtn biking: good; earliest mtn biking: bad. You know you're first o' the day when you get to clear the spiderwebs (and spiders) that were constructed overnight. You'll know early on, but what are you going to do, stop?

McFly said...

JB I had a spider go IN MY PIE HOLE yesterday at the LBL and it got crunchy and I freaked out for a few seconds and yeah....what'r ya gonna do? I could not stop cause we had a guy with a bad Vodka hangover and we were makin' him pay.

flank_streak_commentatorbot said...

Robot Engineer,

Tire sweepers have a long, long history in the bike industry. Like so many things having to do with Freds, bieks and tires, it could be good, could be bad.

I loved them and rode lots of tires much further than without. But, you'll have disconcerting cuts to the top layer of rubber on the tire.

They are most useful where it rains frequently as the water is the lubricant that gives one more flat tires.

Robot is sentient. The captcha includes HUDSON. Not kidding.

Aggregate said...

Ms. Babble needs a dedicated sand bike. Though riding while still shedding gravel from old wounds shows true grit.

nusie666 said...

buying a thousand dollar utility bike seems a little silly if the only advantages are retractable racks for six packs and a handlebar/bike lock combo.
I'd like to blow these peoples minds by introducing them to the world of bags. with a five dollar bag you can carry a six pack and a bike lock. amirite??

1904 Cadardi said...

Babs (any one else seeing fit to crash your bikecycle),

Next time you've been a tumble-nerd and are getting scrubbed out, ask for TAC (Tetracaine, Adrenalin, Cocaine). As topical anesthetics go, it is as good as they get.

babble on said...

Lol! :D
All is well, thanks. My recovery wasn't hampered in any way. And I expect I will shed said rocks well into the next decade...

Freddy Murcks said...

You are most correct, JB. I had more cobwebs across my face than I could count. However, I enjoyed the sunrise, the trail, the wildlife sightings, and the lack of other people so much that I had forgotten all about the cobwebs.




377

babble on said...

Cadardi - yeah, I get all the good drugs. Last doctor I saw was a partner and friend of my MD, who is on holiday. After taking a thorough history, he said "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. You're very interesting. What would you like?"


dancesonpedals said...

my concern was for #2187 in that picture...as you can see, she's wearing a bathing suit..instead of a trisuit, which has an abbreviated bike short at the southern tip...we old guys started first, so i was passed by quite a few young women...who seemed unaware that a perfectly modest bathing suit becomes lululemonlike up on the brooks..aerobars? rain, gravel, potholes & crowds of hyper bikers...i stayed in the drops

Roille Figners said...

TAC - that stuff makes it feel like they're scraping road rash off a 2-inch-thick polar exploration jumpsuit that you're wearing. Or like they're petting you. "Hey are you guys doing something?"

Jimmy Cliff said...

Al naharot bovel...

…and you too, WIWM.

1904 Cadardi said...

Roille,

That's what I'm looking for during the ol'roadrash scrubdown, it should feel like they're working on someone else.

Once I learned about TAC I asked for it by name and was eyed suspiciously. Apparently quite a few drug seekers like to score TAC if they can. Me? I'm just not a fan of pain and generally avoid it. Probably why I stopped racing.

Herschel Raney said...

4000? Mother of God. Thrashing up poopy foam? I am speechless.

The local deer now have their horns back. This is bad news. Crazy 8 point tried to ram my car this morning.

Miss Babble, please, stay off the shoulder. Yours and the roads.

Flyover BC said...

Did anyone notice that the try-athlete on right has a cap that says FOX. That's a misnomer if ever I saw one.

nusie666 said...

waiting for the ultimate utility saddle. built in scranus vibrating massager. retractable butt plug.

dancesonpedals said...

anonymous at 1:08...

riding on 9W? that reminds me of what Ludwig Wittgenstein answered to JFK's question: (insert boston accent)

Mr. Wittgenstein, do you spell your name with 'V'?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I am guessing that it is a little early to start winding up for the 100th comment race...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ludwig Wittgenstein, you say?

David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

dop said...

there's nothing nature couldn't teach yer bout the bending of the wrist...


apologies to #2187 .. she rode & ran with shorts over her bathing suit

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks the winning bike is, like... kinda, you know... sort of, not too bad?

I understand Snobby could never express admiration for it, having made the practice of mocking these bikes a guiding principle on his blog, but I reckon the handlebar/lock is pretty snazzy. The automatic gears are intriguing and the power assist with such a small battery might strike the right balance between weight and efficiency. Admittedly, the brush fenders with those rather baroque "holders" might be considered a little too artisanal, but what do I know? They could be the best "fender" ever. And it's my understanding it rains 400 days a year in Seattle, so maybe they know what they're doing.

Of course, it might be un-rideable and those lights are a little too Christmas tree, but overall it's not without its charms.

McFly said...

Never see a century. This post was a shitty one.

Spokey said...

nusie666 @ 2:41 PM

no bag needed for a six pack.

Jannd Extreme Front Rack. A six pack fits on that platform perfectly. If you have a smooth road, you don't even need a bungee.

Spokey said...

oh yeah!

62

Spokey said...

funny

I mostly ride in the mid-afternoon.

for one thing, like whoever posted it above, I ain't getting up before 9AM. Oh as far as I'm concerned, that is for both weekdays and weekends.

second; the Freds around here all ride in the early to mid morning (that's 9-11:30 in Spokey time). Maybe some ride even earlier but if it's before 9, I don't see 'em. Morristown FreeWheelers (wheelpersons?) used to have a standard ride past my house. Haven't noticed such a large group in a while so either they are leaving me in peace or they go before 9AM. Or maybe the increase in traffic over the years with all the McMansions around here have discouraged them

Spokey said...

64

1904 Cadardi said...

Anon @6:04

The Seattle does seem to be the best of all the bikes. If the "fenders" work, that would be nice, especially in Seattle where it drizzles continuously for about 9 months a year. The rack is decoupled from the steering which is good. The dick-breaks also seem like a good idea for Seattle's steep ass hills during the wet season. And the lock is actually beefy enough that it might work.

It needs a rear rack in addition to or in place of the front, replace the stupid brake light with a regular tail light, lose the pointless turn signals, and a switch for the front light would be nice. Automatic shifting seems prone to failure and the electric assist cannot escape the laws of physics: a small battery means little power.

All of those things can be done on a normal diamond framed bike (rack, lights, fenders) so maybe they should just sell the integrated lock/bars. I agree, that's kind of cool.


semi serious cyclist said...

...integrated handlebar lock and laptop cradle.

Maybe the brushes are set up to generate electricity with Continental tires' Black Chili high carbon compounds.

Need a new handlebar? New Bottom Bracket? new BRUSHES FOR YOUR FENDERS? Gak- it's custom everything.

The cycling industry, regurgitating the market proliferation that led to the boom and bust of the bicycle glut of 1895.

Tulio, save us!

Herschel Raney said...

If you are a reader, and have never read Wittgenstein's Mistress by David Markson, then consider it my gift to you to find this book. It has nothing to do with cycling, but fuck it, it is one of the ten greatest books of my intense reading life. Do it. Find it.

Herschel Raney said...

And I am currently in the first ever endeavor to replace my bottom bracket. Holy shit. I will likely use a Chris King Steel bearing and not ceramic but still. Holy shit at the complexity of just the subject of bottom brackets.

Fuck off world.

leroy said...

Caught between the longing for love and the struggle for the legal tender,

Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring ...

And the children solemnly wait for the ice cream vendor.

Out into the bike lane parks sex offender.

...

What, too derivative?

McFly said...

What kind of BB config Hersh?

dancesonpedals said...

WRM Saith:

Anyway, when I woke up early yesterday to ride and discovered it was raining, I was pretty annoyed, but I did feel a little better knowing that when I flushed to toilet I was delivering sewage directly to a triathlon:

That explains the verbal exchange I had with another swimmer:
(cue french canadien accents:

Jacque: Look at theese, floating ing zee river!

Pierre: Looks like Wildcat Rock Machine poop!

Jacque: Better smell it!

Pierre: Smells like WRM poop!

Jacque: What does eet taste like!

Pierre: Taste like WRM Poop!

Jacque: Must be WRM poop!

Pierre: Good zing we did not sweem in it!

pio7ytliuhliydrei64so8f said...

72,,,,,,,,,,

oyrfliuyoij said...

73

bandersnatch said...

74kjhg

cumberbunds said...

75

loose women said...

76

photosphere don't fail me now said...

77

spokey, 24 just came on, set uo your dvr said...

78

snatch said...

79

what said...

what

a said...

81

happy said...

happy








pubecau 1853

sound said...

sound

ya gotta have snatch said...

84

to make the world go round said...

85

SHIT FLINGING MONKEY said...

'droiuqeriurtcbfw34pirexuywe;oxduiywepo8y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

ILEANAG TINCTIVELY

edward kennedy ellingtron said...

it don't mean athing, if it ain't got that fling

billy strayhorn said...

I wrote that & don't you forget it

chirp chirp said...

crickets

elmer fudd said...

be vewy vewy quiet

elmer fudd said...

I'm a hunter

ef said...

I'm hunting centuries

ef said...

heh heh heh

what's up doc said...

ehhhhhh

sylvestor said...

sufferin succatash

daffy said...

who was the bigger genius? mel blanc for asking the writer, "give this character something to say with a lot ofv esses, so I can spit when he's angry....or the anonymous arner brothers writer who wrote, "You're despicable"

anon said...

ineep ineep ineep

bollocks said...

bollocks

Anonymous said...

Spokey will be along presently

dop said...

bollocks 2

dop said...

100

Anonymous said...

Or maybe not

dop said...

got it on the 2nd bollocks!

Anonymous said...

Dop wins with "bollock 2" then dishonours the win by posting "100" in the 101st post.

And what the fuck is dop?

You can't congratulate someone called dop.

Spokey said...

congrats DoP

totally missed it tonight. Guess there's something to be said for swimming in shit. and having scores of lead out men (persons? chinese? gravel shoulders? Leroy's dog?)


we will have revenge

at least McFly has been proven wrong.

Spokey said...

and missing the actual count is a time honored practice. I commend you sir for your respect of tradition.

McO'Spokey said...

well the scotch is finished. call it an early night

darbas anglijoje said...

very good :)

McFly said...

That foursome swimcap image is a real morningwood killer. I'm talkin' flared up-to-flaccid in 2.3 seconds.

semi serious cyclist said...

That abomination of a bicycle from the oregon manifest show?

Not just a handlebar laptop holder and tire brushes...... The "Denny" includes features like automatic gear shifting, electronic hill assist, and intelligent auto-adjusting lights....

add a couple of gyros, and it's the Segway of bicycles.

add some crash avoidance technologies, and it becomes a potential tri-dork lifesaver.

Could be the next, perfect blogger/photography platform.

David Pearce said...

I like me a good bike blog that informs about the "Hudson mustache", but I like me even better a bike blog that uses the word "sidles".

I like me a bike blog that sidles up to me and tells me some cool stuff!

Thanks, WCRM

David Pearce said...

I think the Denny looks pretty cool, pretty good, integrated thinking, design, turn signals, brake light. Not a fan of the "toothbrush-fenders"--too cute for their own good.

My main complaint is that we're all getting so good (except for me) at making our own movies these days, with sound, and good editing, that it's getting kind of self-referential and effete. It's almost a pleasure to photograph something amateurishly, just because we can all be perfect film makers now.

You mentioned twee the other day. I think that is beginning to apply to all these retro black & white photos of hipsters standing around in every major metropolitan area, each group looking pretty much like the other group.

David Pearce said...

Lastly, you say,

" No offense meant to the critiqued."

But you know and we know that some things NEED to have offense heaped on them, and you do it with verve and humor, and I'm glad you do.

I APPROVE

Spokey said...

forget the flare up -> flaccid.

I'm still trying to determine the genders. went over to the babs-o-blog for succor but she hasn't posted in almost 2 weeks.

McFly said...

Her posting shoulder is blowed out and rejecting foreign matter.

dancesonpedals said...

hudson mustache

hey, bamaphred...why swim in old man river when you've got a nice race in mobile bay? damn torpedo

www.thegrandman.com/

Dave said...

Comment of the day - Leroy at 9:36. Lyrical, yet impudent.

As for me, already Tuesday is weird: ran over a large snake (no time to swerve) then later got a flat. While fixing it, many cyclists passed by, and 90% of them asked me if I was OK. Now a universal custom, and I do it too, but also an old lady walking by said her house was nearby if I needed anything. Maybe I just project the image of an aging, helpless lycra-douche. But, I do not use my powers for evil.

JB said...

Dave, bunny-hop the snake next time and the old lady was propositioning you.

Spokey said...

dave

next time wait for snobbie. He'll fix the flat for you.

BamaPhred said...

Yes DOP, Orange Beach is like floating in your favorite spa, but in true HardMan tradition, the trifecta of East River, then Hudson, and the queen of all pollution, the Mississippi, seems like a natural.

Spokey said...

Dave

I'll stop for a motorist. usually can't help. i carry a cell phone but so does everyone else.

Actually have helped twice. Once my little alien tool came to the rescue. the other time i rode home got my car and went back. Can't remember whether the car provided a jump or jack or what.

Both of those were a couple years ago. I the same road (US 206) a couple times a week but haven't run in to any problems recently.

dancesonpedals said...

Bamaphred- I'm from upstae NY, and I've fished & gone swimming in the hudson river in the adirondacks

2 seconds after it leaves the protected region, it gets the chemicals from the paper mills, followed by the pcbs c/o the general electric company...(they're in the silt on the bottom)

It's nice that Tom & Huck got to raft & fish & swim...but I'm skeered of the lower miss...i'm willing swim with the turds in the mighty hudson, but not with all those petro chemicals pouring in from La

BamaPhred said...

Here's the usual after-party at Orange Beach
I'm envious of your upstate adventures.

babble on said...

Spokey - I was contemplating. Certain members of my family told me that they don't like it, and said that I should quit writing it.

Anonymous said...

The Denny looks exactly like this: http://i.imgur.com/4kzw0IL.jpg - though I have absolutely no clue about what it is, I just see these from time to time.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that ice cream truck is one of the former bootleg "Master Softee" trucks that has had it's logos stickered over after legal action from Mister Softee

Steve said...

You had me at the headline...