Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Investment Opportunities: A Fred And His Money Are Soon Parted

Firstly, Bicycling published my latest column the other day, and I'm putting it here because I happen to be fond of it:


What, I can't like something I wrote?  Well screw you then!

Just kidding, I love you.

Let's never fight again.


(BFFs 4-EVA)

Secondly, I believe more than anything that children are our future, and that we should teach them well and let them lead the way.  (I can't take credit for that last sentence, that's all Randy Watson.)  This is especially true with regard to bicycles, and if one particular Kickstarter is successful then soon parents will finally be able to teach their kids to ride on that smuggest of all materials--bamboo:



Yes, what better way to get your child started out on the Wretched Gran Fondo of Life than astride a balance bike made from a material that makes you feel good about yourself?  After all, as the video says, "Riding a bike is a skill children learn and never forget."


Uh, really?  Obviously they don't do much commuting by bicycle:

 

I figure that roughly 65% of the bicycle commuters I see have, somewhere between childhood and their move to the Big City, forgotten how to ride--assuming they even knew how to do it in the first place.

But maybe these rolling hobby horses will give the next generation the solid cycling foundation they need, because "GreenChamp bikes are the brainchild of Daniel and Sunny."


(That helment is huge.  Is the brainchild still inside of it?)

It's extremely important to wear a helment when working with, touching, or even standing close to bamboo--not because it's possible a stalk could fall on your head, but because you might get attacked by a hungry panda, and everyone knows those adorably furry bastards love to come at you with the piledriver.

As for the other guy, "Sunny went on a 6,123km journey around the world on his first handmade bamboo bicycle."


Incidentally, this was the longest journey ever undertaken on a bicycle with perfectly vertical bar ends, and if the whole balance bike thing doesn't pan out then I think Sunny should ditch the Great Gazoo up there and do a Kickstarter for that sweet bamboo bike cane:


The advantage of the bike cane is that it not only holds your bicycle up, but if you snap a chainstay you simply use it as a spare.

Then, flush with success, Sunny should branch out (get it?) and introduce a full line of bamboo cycling accessories, including a bamboo u-lock:


It's only vulnerable to every type of cutting tool, as well as bamboo mites:


Craig Calfee has nightmares about these little fuckers, I can assure you.  100 of them can eat an entire 56cm road frame in under 36 hours.  I saw it on the National Geographic Channel, or else I read it in Leonard Zinn's column.  I forget which.

Still, as long as you avoid hungry fauna when you're out on your bamboo bike, you're good:

"So through that journey I discovered that bamboo is a very strong alternative material for products."


So he didn't know that before he left?  He just lashed some bamboo together, figured "What the fuck?," and rolled out on a journey around the world?  Wow.  Sunny's got a pair of nads the size of Daniel's bamboo-handling helment!

But most kids aren't circumnavigating the globe on balance bikes, so strength isn't really a concern here.  Rather, it's mostly about making mommy and/or daddy feel like they're saving the world, so the most important thing is that "The GreenChamp bike is made from bamboo, one of nature's most-renewable materials."


(He's touching bamboo without a helment he's going to die!)

Which is why I'm pretty sure they're going to get funded and sell a fuckload of these, even though there's another competing bamboo bike also in the blowgun--and it costs $449:


Few things are more annoying than parents who judge other parents, but if you spend almost $500 on a pair of crotch casters for your kid then you are out of your fucking mind.

Meanwhile, in exciting news for the post-post-pubescent-and-beginning-to-bald set, some other would-be entrepreneurs are raising money to build fat bikes:



All right, it's enough with the fat bikes already.  Yes, I'm sure they're fun in the snow, but sometimes snowstorms are nature saying that you should take a few days off from riding and get a life.  And riding on the beach?  Really?  Few things are more annoying than cyclists who judge other cyclists (parents judging other parents being one of them), but if you can't enjoy a day at the beach without riding your stupid bike on it then you're an idiot:


Here's how it works: you ride your bike to the beach.  Then, you get off the damn bike, pull up a towel, and drink or surf or play Kadima or something.  If this guy rode past me doing a wheelie while I was attempting to relax in the sun I'd take him out with an off-brand dollar store "Frisbee" to the front wheel faster than you can say, "Eat sand, Beach Fred!"

Of course, if you do have a dedicated beach wheelie bike, be sure that your saddle is properly waterproofed:



Or else you could get something they call "bike butt:"


Yikes.  That guy has bigger problems than a damp saddle, and if he really wants to get rid of those wet spots he may want to go right to the source and take some Imodium.

I'm also 95% sure these are the puffins at the Central Park Zoo:


If you're wondering how I know, it's because I never forget a puffin crotch.

Nevertheless, I don't think a saddle waterproofing spray is a bad idea, though I was not convinced by this particular demonstration:


There's no way you need to bother waterproofing that saddle.  It's not even porous!  That's a single Starbucks napkin to dry off, tops.  What I want to know is if it works on an ass sponge like a Brooks, or if after you spray it down you'll come back to find only this:


If a wet saddle give you "bike butt," what does a pair of naked saddle rails give you?  "Scranal impalement?"

The most audacious Kickstarter I've seen in a long time though is this one, which isn't even for a product.  Rather, it's for an idea called the "Lift Propulsive Pedaling" technique:



Here's a chart, so you know it works:


(What the hell kind of half-assed cycling chart doesn't feature Bret as the model???)

Anyway, from what I can tell, the idea behind "Lift Propulsive Pedaling" is that you should pull up on the pedals to maximize efficiency.  This is hardly revolutionary, and indeed it's been Fred 101 since the very first Fred lashed his feet to the pedals of his safety bicycle (not to mention pretty convincingly debunked by America's Foremost Retrogrouch and Flat Pedal Advocate in his book, "Just Ride").  It's also the basis behind every annoying pedaling-through-the-dead-spot tip you've ever heard, like "Pretend you're scraping gum off your shoe!," thousands of Bicycling articles, and all those lopsided aftermarket chainrings:


Yet somehow the Fred behind Lift Propulsive Pedaling thinks he's the first person to come up with this, and he's got a demonstration to prove that it works.  Here's "Fred A" using the default Fred pedaling technique, or what's commonly known to the rest of the cycling universe as "pedaling squares:"


Now here's "Fred B" using the revolutionary new Lift Propulsive Pedaling technique, or what everyone else knows as "pedaling smoothly:"


Unfortunately, this is as far as the demonstration gets.

So what's the target market for a garden variety cycling tip a single isolated Fred thinks he invented, and which he intends to sell to people who don't know how to ride bicycles?  You guessed it: Triathletes!


And how much money does he need to tap this market?  Only eighty thousand dollars:


Hey, scoff if you will, but check out these testimonials:


"The biggest advantage I've seen using Lift Propulsive Pedaling is the substantial increase in my overall average speed. I have two routes I ride consistently, each one 25 miles in length with considerable climbing. My average speed on those routes has hovered around 14.5 mph. Once I started using this technique I began to see a substantial increase in overall speed going from 14.5 to 15.7 mph over the same course with my weight,   road bike and fitness level being the same. I can only attribute this improvement to one thing…Lift Propulsive Pedaling!" - Chip Fox, San Diego, CA.

Yeah, right.  I attribute any performance gains to that red bicycle trying to escape from that green and blue Liquigas kit.

Here's another one:


I'm the founder of Fixed Nation, an entity dedicated to promoting fixed gear cycling globally. Last spring, I asked Joe to train me to ride in the Rosarito-Ensenada Bike Ride a scant 12 weeks before the event. The challenge - I had done it two times in a ten speed bike and barely made it! This time I wanted to do it with my fixed gear bike and pull off an awesome performance on behalf of all of us that love to do single gear pedaling. After a quite intense training with Joe, including a full immersion into his Lift Propulsive Pedaling performed at tougher gear ratios than that of my fixie, at above average speeds and with close to three thousand feet of climbing per road session, I was ready. The results - I came over two minutes ahead of the nearest fixed gear rider and passed a large amount of ten speed cyclists too!!! Truly amazing thanks to Joe and his Lift Propulsive Pedaling technique! Robbie Anderson, Fixed Nation, San Diego, CA

How is it possible that Robbie Anderson, the founder of "an entity dedicated to promoting fixed gear cycling globally," has no idea that fixed gear cycling has not only already swept the entire world, but it's also gone completely out of style again?

That's even more unlikely than a Fred who thinks he's discovered the "dead spot."

By the way, if you're wondering how Fixed Nation is promoting fixed gear cycling globally, they're doing it by selling hoodies on the Internet:


("Dad, stop messing with my turntables!")

These are some seriously out-of-touch dudes.

Lastly, here's yet another Kickstarter which proves that Canadians shouldn't curse:



I felt like I was watching Mr. Rogers dropping the "F bomb."

He's also as out-of-touch as Propulsive Pedaling guy and his fixie friend:


How does he not know that there are tons of companies that have been making similarly bland and Banana Republic-like cycling-specific clothing for years, and that it's such an established niche that Levi's has already taken it over?

I have absolutely no idea.

137 comments:

Anonymous said...

Podium

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I like coffee early in the morning.

alpaca lips said...

Yowza. Oily Boids!

Anonymous said...

Orangutan scranus.

Anonymous said...

headlong in to the night

McFly said...

I am with RCT. Coffee's

Austin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

i would have slept through this morning's post, but my dog just came home singing "Wake me up before you go go."

Sometimes I wish he would just scratch at the door like a normal dog.

Read the post, now he's singing "Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey."

Dave said...

Hey, it's a beautiful day in the fuckin' neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

"I came over two minutes ahead of the nearest fixed gear rider and passed a large amount of ten speed cyclists too!!!"

Maybe next time he could use a bike with gears rather than dicking around with some pointless "technique" that everyone already knows.

whistler said...

To feel truly smug about the sustainability of your child's balance bike, it should be made with locally sourced lumber (within 100 miles, for full smugness), rather than bamboo with a large carbon footprint from traveling around the world. And while you're at it, have the child craft it, to ensure that it is really artisanal.

whistler said...

Nice locking of the bike article, by the way, Snob, glad you linked to it. It's almost like you are a semi-professional bicycle writer, or something.

James said...

missed the breack then I had a Froomeian slip off the back....

babble on said...

Oh maaaaaaan! All these drugs and I'm still mid-pack fodder. I guess we're still calling it medication...

babble on said...

What do you fucking MEAN I shouldn't Goddamn motherfucking cuntloving swear?

Buffalo Bill said...

Fucking canucks curse all the goddamn time.
Canadian folk music

babble on said...

Bill - right? That was practically our anthem in high school.

Bama Phred said...

After reading all this, I'm brim full of smugness.

Buffalo Bill said...

Babble, at our school we had to sing the bilingual version.

Bryan said...

TOp 20-ish! Early post today. Hope that means you are getting out on the cycle bike.

DB said...

Sleep-Working today. Thunderstorms all night. It doesn't just rain anymore. Now every storm has a tornado embedded in it and the power goes off and we get two inches of sideways rain and tree branches all over the place. End Of Times.
Babble: I thought I Hate Winnepeg was the national anthem.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I gotta tell you..

every time I run in for four seconds to get that 12 pack, when i come out to put it in my basket, i feel like an idiot for having locked my bike

Spokey said...

podium for the getting up disabled.

Don't trust any blogger who posts before 7AM!!



robot could ondisda but the rent's too damn high

Colleen S said...

Gentlemen: nice woodies.

Anonymous said...

Bamboo U-lock would work for permanent lockage in a civilization that has not discovered toolage.

JB said...

My alarm just went off. What happened?

Bryan said...

Here's a , fat bike for you...
And that guy doing a wheelie...it was a really shitty one until they put it in slow motion from the go pro on the bike.

Spokey said...

whistler

fucking bamboo grows all over the world. We have some here along the road just across the river in snobby's scranus. My neighbor has been at war for a long time with this weed. He may be finally winning.

Makes a nice privacy hedge though




isolaus now and enjoy the rest of the summer

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hydrophobic Puffin Spray? Maybe but I ain't buying any until they spray the bottom of a boat that has been cut out and replaced with a screen door with the stuff then the kickstarters paddle that bitch around the Puffin tank at the Central Park Zoo.

Spokey said...

Bought this for one of the grandkids last year http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000161RFU/ref=oh_details_o07_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1.

Not bamboo and not even close to $500. I'm so ashamed.


Spokey said...

snobby

I think you got the Lift Propulsive Pedaling wrong. It's not like every other system. In the Lift Propulsive Pedaling system you don't push down, only pull up.

Now that's truly innovatively stupid. My legs are hurting just thinking about it.

balls™ said...

Every morning when I get out of the shower, my scranus is soaking wet. But, there is a solution.

Please back my kickstarter project for development of a reusable textile with liquid absorptive properties. I probably need about $100,000 to develop a prototype.

This will revolutionize scranus wetness. I will be known as king of the wet scranus.

David G said...

Stay tuned for my Kickstarter for double-knotting your shoelaces. Ka-ching.

JB said...

Even more sustainable would be to buy a used Magna off of the CL.

Thanks for the Kickstarter review. My investment plan is coming along nicely.

Snob, are we (the readers) the coon dog or the orangutan?

We conveniently haven't heard about Sunny's previous global treks on his switch grass bike, dog bone scooter, or ice trike.

RoadQueen said...

Plethora of Kickstarter material today - I like it!

Cheered me right up after I "pulled a Babble" on the motorized of my beiks this morning on the way to work.

Now this phrase is echoing in my (un-helmented) head

*keeptherubbersidedown*keeptherubbersidedown*keeptherubbersidedown*

Everybody ride safe today, no matter what you're riding.

mikeweb said...

And here I was perusing yesterday's comments... Nice post for the hungry panda today.

gE said...

I was going to say that bamboo u-lock is impervious to nail clippers but one could nib away at the ends, so I'll venture that it would seriously impede the progress of a bike thief armed with nail clippers. It may even thwart a bike thief with a butter knife or dull scissors.

Mind you, without a locking mechanism, you'd have to be the bike thief every time you come back to your bike and then curate a new one at each stop.

Roille Figners said...

"You... You... COCK-A-DOODY!"
-- Annie Wilkes

Roille Figners said...

Headed over to Bicycling to say "Scranus" and stuff like that.

le Correcteur said...

"Eat sand, Beach Fred!"

A great line, WCRM. Now you just need a cheesy cartoon of you kicking sand in his face.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Q:What do you call it when you miss a phone call from a monkey?

A: A who-rang-u-tan.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Q:What do you call it when you miss a phone call from a monkey?

A: A who-rang-u-tan.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Q:What do you call it when you miss a phone call from a monkey?

A: A who-rang-u-tan.

Anonymous said...

repel projectile squirting?

Flyover BC said...

I'm a telling you helments are important for safety.

Just yesterday, a guy on a bike got run over by train, and the news and the newspaper insinuated that he wasn't wearing a helment, and you know what that means. He might have survived if had only worn a helment.

Anonymous said...

"I came over two minutes ahead of the nearest fixed gear rider and passed a large amount of ten speed cyclists too!!!"

What was he lifting and propulsing that got him to cum 2 minutes ahead of the rest of the circle jerk?

Jason said...

I saw someone wearing a helment while driving yesterday. Granted, it was a bike helment and they were leaving the parking lot of the local Fred city flat trail so he may have just forgotten to take it off. Still, it might be the start of something... (no photo--I had already ran over a few cyclists just from staring at him so I didn't want to really start driving dangerously)

crosspalms said...

I ride past a couple of beaches on my commute, and if there's one thing a bike likes it's getting sand on it. Drive train? Brakes? My eyeballs? Can't get enough sand. Gnats are a close second.

JLRB said...

better Pile Drivers about 1:52

Roille Figners said...

1) Sunny looks a bit like BSNYC.

2) "Is the brainchild still in it?" G,S,G!

Roille Figners said...

1) Sunny looks a bit like BSNYC.

2) "Is the brainchild still in it?" G,S,G!

Roille Figners said...

Hey what the fuck? Hey what the fuck?

Jason Clark said...

For All Latest Hot Current Affairs
www.hotcurrentaffairs.com

JB said...

I gotta go get the papers; get the papers.

Anonymous said...

I feel so much faster at any speed now.

Yo damm straight I'm gonna navigate away from this page.

... Only after some well wishing towards Ms. Babble !!



vsk

Spokey said...

and passed a large amount of ten speed cyclists too!!!


interesting. My old Centurion LeMans 12 is . . . . . . . . . . guess now . . . . . a 12 speed. I bought that in '83, maybe as late as '84.

I did have a 10 speed Sears bike in the mid 70's. A box turtle coulda lapped that tank.

So where are these Fredos who are all riding 10 speeds?




robot is laughing. Claims he remembers that Sears bike weighed 9887 pounds.

gE said...

Why's that monkey keep calling? Make it stop.

Blog Drafter said...

Snob has opened his handbasket of vitriol today.

Comment deleted said...

I was thinking the same thing Spokey. Is it really a thing now to call a road bike a ten-speed?

Damn kids these days. All those 7-, 8- and 9-geared cassettes are like, totally lame. Wouldn'tbecaughtdeadonone.

BotanyBot9000 said...

"Then, flush with success, Sunny should branch out (get it?)"

No. Bamboo does not branch.

Roille Figners said...

uh buh

Fred Nifacent said...

We all know aluminum is light weight and sustainable. I make lots of aluminum, thats what is left after I finish my beer. I like to think I am helping the childrens.

crosspalms said...

I rode behind a guy who was wearing Liquigas kit once. Not a word I'd want stenciled across my shorts, thanks. I kept my distance.

JLRB said...

Who wants to see pictures of Lance lying

grog said...

Feeling bamboozled.
Where's Recumbabe?

babble on said...

Heh heh pulled a babble... Oh! OMG I hope you're alright, dear girl? You're scaring me. You know you haven't really pulled a full babble unless you find yourself in a hospital bed at the end of an ambulance ride, right? Anything less is technically a half babble.

DB - that's more like the pledge of allegiance. Armpit of North America, n'all that.



Someone who has absolutely no idea said...

That potty-mouthed fellow promoting preppy clothes. Is he a Canadian hipster?

Anonymous said...

Hey Snob,

It's good that you remind us of your column in Bicycling.

You should do it everytime you have new stuff published there.

Mr Plow said...

I wish three (3) speeds would make a comeback. How come no one talks about them?

BamaPhred said...

In the tradition of "but wait, there's more!" I would like to offer a scranal flossing technique to go along with Balls Kickstarter scranal wetness absorption unit.

gE said...

Wow Spokey, flashbacks. Still haven't gotten over my mom sold my old Apollo 12 speed at a garage sale years ago. Had the Sears Free Spirit 10 speed and a Sears 5 speed before that.

Of course these days people when refer to 10 speeds, the number of chainrings isn't part of the equation. Had a 10 and a 12, but never had the Spinal Tap edition.

ken e. said...

"do you know how many time zones there are in the soviet union?"

"...eleven!"

JLRB said...

Kickstarter is the new Craigslist

Shoulder umbrella thinggie

JLRB said...

Kickstarter is the new Craigslist

Shoulder umbrella thinggie

JLRB said...

stop it. it. it. it. it.

Anonymous said...

OsymetricUSA!

Anonymous said...

OsymetricUSA!

A Dusty Cowpoke said...

That's a right fine set of bamboo stirrups you got there.

Spokey said...

gE

never had a 5. went from a J.C. Higgins internal 3 to the 10.

JB said...

Fred Nifacent @ 1:06pm: comment o' the day, so far.

Anonymous said...

Big echo today today today

CommieCanuck said...

I'm pretty sure the cause of "bike butt" is Liquigas.

Anonymous said...

I believe it's Marc de Storm's winsome companions on the couch that will need to "repel projectile squirting".

Stuart Rasmussen said...

i thought your "Bicycling" article was useful. I haven't had a bike stolen since i switched to beater bikes with an old school single speed conversion (chain wrapped around middle gear of freewheel). I've also never seen an old school single speed on a stolen bike alert. Bike thieves must have some aesthetic standards.....I also am a big user of bike share bikes, and despite the "other" false dire prediction (the main one being the blood running in the streets prediction)of people being dinged $1,000 on their credit card, i think even in the very rare cases of missing bikes, no one has been charged.....

Dooth said...

Coincidentally, my Lift Propulsive Thrusting technique is also a Breakthrough, changing the way fucking is approached.

1904 Cadardi said...

Why does pedaling squares guy appear to be catching and passing pull-up guy on the 3% climb?


After riding with a leaky water bottle filled with Brawndo, the thirst mutilator, my rear cluster only shifted through a few gears. Even though there were a total of twenty, only about 6 worked. Does that mean I invented the half-dozen speed?

RoadQueen said...

Never fear, Babble dear. I have to agree with your correction to my previous statement of 'pulling a Babble' as in fact, it could have only been a 1/2 Babble!

I was not traveling nearly as fast as you were, I was only going around 10-15 mph at the time of the splat, so there was no ambulance, nor hospital stay for me. :)

I did, however, go over the handlebar and quite soundly stove up my left elbow, shoulder, shoulder blade and left side of my neck.

BIKE BOMB

JLRB said...

I'd back into this kickstarter
c
o
m
m
a
n
d
o

David Olson said...

"Sunny went on a 6,123km journey around the world on his first handmade bamboo bicycle."

Sunny wouldn't have made it around the coast of India. But I guess it really is a small world after all.

McFly said...

LPP? I thought anything that went in a circle was revolutionary.

crosspalms...got gnats? PROZAP LD-44T.....get some. It werx.

DB said...

Dooth, 2:50 FTW.

1904 Cadardi said...

Also, Wildcat:

Trademark this quick, then sell me a t-shirt, title your next book and rename your blog:

"the Wretched Gran Fondo of Life"

Anonymous said...

wow
that guy invented clipless pedals
so he needs $80,000
(or maybe he invented 1960s style un-clip-less)

wle

gE said...

I'm pretty sure the cause of "bike butt" is Liquigas.

Commie Canuck won the internet today.

Bama Phred said...

I would like to point out going "round the world" is a lot less than 6,123 km. or am I dating myself?

gE said...

...proves that Canadians shouldn't curse:

Actually, it proves that guys who look even remotely like Clay Aiken shouldn't curse.

Oh right, Fixed Nation. Isn't that like Planned Parenthood?

Anonymous said...

Yabba dabba doo! I love the Flintstone bike, gonna get one for little BamBam.

DB said...

Leading WIWM out.

dancesonpedals said...

if you were far enough north/south...I mean at a sufficiently high latitude, you could go around the world many time in 6k kil

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Thank you, DB.

dancesonpedals said...

Hey. wildcat snob...the blog monitors at bicycling deleted my post...I am totally wobegone.

scranus

DB said...

You are most welcome, WIWM.

Roille Figners said...

It's true, not giving a crap makes you immune to a lot of stuff. Unfortunately for Bicycling magazine, that includes advertising. So I guess I'll be posting this observation here then.

Anonymous said...

speaking of unsightly wet spots, it is hot and muggy here in NYC. Swamp ass.

Anonymous said...

Nice article. I had my seat and post stolen a couple weeks ago while I was in the dentist office, middle of the day on park ave and 35th street, so it thought it would be okay. Not a quick release and a cheap bike and saddle. Didn't matter. not the first time either. some people never learn, but the idea of lugging 2-3 locks around so some scumbag asshole doesn't disassemble your bike sucks.

Anonymous said...

Raise your hand if you're a reader of this blog that DOESN'T want to lick babble's calves?

crosspalms said...

Good column over there at whatsit magazine, and thanks for the reminder about pumps [slowly closes barn door as horses gallop off]

erikbe said...

Marc De Storm pedals with his HEELS!!!

Flava Flav said...

Terminator X speaks with his hands, know I'm sayin, his hands.

babble on said...

DoP - what did you say?!

RQ - oh dear... that doesn't sound good. Are you ok? xo

Anonymous said...

I honestly thought I invented mastubation.

Anonymous said...

It never would've occurred to me to steal skewers.

Good tip. Thanks Snobby.

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

snobby

you owe me a beer! AM3802 that is model+serial+year. I'm too lazy to scan the bill of sale but I've got it.

I'll let you know what beer after I consult peaches. those portandiers know the most expensive kinds so I'm relying on her.


I'm hoping she comes up with a 349 dollar a bottle brand

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well, while not degenerating to the fetid, backed-up cesspool level of this comment section at least the cycling article garnered a few scranuses. Give it some time it's bound to happen.

Not alot of hand raisers so far.

ouabacher said...

Anon, I'm thinking a Kickstarter campaign titled "Your special purpose" would do nice.

Spokey said...

Anonymous balls™ @ 11:05


I will be known as king of the wet scranus.

Sorry you lose. I have a competing kickstarter to develop a reusable textile with liquid absorptive properties. I only need $99,998.24.

More important I will be known as king of the DRY scranus. You should have paid attention to your marketing advisers.




robot recommends using cattle verybri to curate the shiniest scranus.

DB said...

Serial RetroG:
Hope all is well.

BamaPhred said...

You can call the scranal wetness absorption unit the ScrannyShammy. I've already copyrighted the name and lawyered up.

McFly said...

June 17th. 6:02 a.m.-----went commando for the 1st time this year. De-underweared in the salary shitter and slinked back to my office hoping no one saw what I was carrying.

Calvery Rideher said...

I'm sure Babble's calves would taste slightly salty, combined with the subtle overtones of hemp and green tea. Yum!

Morose Mumbler said...

Raising Hand

Anonymous said...

"Sunny went on a 6,123km journey around the world on his first handmade bamboo bicycle."

He must have been in Antarctica.

Faheem Zia said...

For All Latest Hot Current Affairs
www.hotcurrentaffairs.com

Fred said...

Where's my money?

BamaPhred said...

Being forced to go commando officially puts an end to whatever pretense I have about commuting by bike. Traffic, no problem, flats, thunderstorms, etc. Swamp Azz all day, wait till temp drops 20 degrees.

I share your shame, or perhaps, lack of it. Whatever works.

Anonymous said...

Raises both hands.

PetClubIndia said...

Nice Post! Such a great information which is very helpful for us. Pet Club India is a online pet shop site in india which offers a wide variety of pet products as like dog toys, dog food, dog grooming products, pet training tolls, dog health supplies and all accessories.

Kerry said...

What the fuck is "pet training tolls"

Only thing worse then a spammer is a stupid spammer....

Spokey said...

I hate the cat that has been torturing me in my own home for 20 years now. If I gots to start paying tolls, he ain't making it to 21.


How long do these fucking things live anyway?




Help me almight LOB, robot sez a cat can live 422.

babble on said...

Spokey - someone loves it, or it really loves to torture you. Fifteen years, on average.

Dancesonpedals - your comment has re-appeared on Bicycling...

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Cat Abides said...

Meow

Inquiring Mind said...

A study I'd like to see:

Does bikeshare reduce bike theft

Lectrichead said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniel Ramirez said...

http://www.sportbeans.com/sports_sponsorships/Default.aspx

I put them up my nose as a kid.

Daniel

FRED said...

Mmmmmm…….Extremely thoughtful and inspiring comments from a snob that claims to know everything that has been developed and is yet to be developed about pedaling. Especially since he doesn't know anything about what this technique Lift Propulsive Pedaling technique is all about. Sooooooooooo…...

1- We don't sweep! WE LIFT!!!

2- You don't have a clue of what happens next because you are still in the sweeping to get past the dead spot garbage….Classic!!!!

3- Pushing on the pedals is done very, very inefficiently by the majority of cyclists that are considered average to above average…I don't needed to tell you why, you know it…or you think you do!

4- For the record before the Rosarito-Ensenada ride, Robbie Henderson was able to average 16 mph across 50 miles with over 2,700 feet of climbing at gear ratios no easier than a 53-20, on a 20 pound, hot rodded 1986 Schwinn Peloton frame (Steel) and he had amongst other things 7, 8 and 9 percent grades to tackle in the training course!

5- And yes, by all means, you are absolutely right, I'm not giving the LPP technique out for free. Why should I? Those who want to know about it can pass judgement over it once they have tried it. If I don't get the support of the project, so be it! Think what you want, say what you want, criticize what you want….. you and your cronies are the ones suffering on that bike and that is your prerogative…..by all means keep pushing on those pedals!!!!!!!!