Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Wednesday awoke before dawn, he put his Sidis on. He took a bike from the ancient gallery. And he trackstanded in the hall.

Guess what?

That's not a rhetorical question, you're supposed to say, "What?"

Well, IMBA is having a World Smit in Steamboat Springs, CO from August 20th to the 24th!


Not only that, but I'm going to be there as a guest!


(Visualize World Smit!)

So why does IMBA want someone whose mountain bike exploits consist mostly of falling down on the trails behind the mall to be a guest at their World Smit?  I'm not entirely sure, but the words "human piƱata" have been bandied about in the context of shuttling me up a mountain, sending me down on a full suspension bicycle with no brakes, and letting people take swings at me with pool noodles on the way down.

Hey, don't ask me, I'm not up on this laid-back Colorado mountain bike duder jargon.

In any case, perhaps this video will help clear things up:


Get Yourself There from IMBA on Vimeo.

Or perhaps it won't.

Either way, I'm going to the IMBA World Smit, I'm excited about it, and I hope you're going too--and that you're also excited about it.


In other news, further to yesterday's post, I posted this picture:


Which prompted a commenter to express dismay that the chain is in the little ring.


Obviously as a semi-professional bike blogger I am aware of the "rule" that you're supposed to photograph your bicycle with the chain in the big ring.  However, as an accomplished photographer, urban sophisticate, and noted aesthete who is a card-carrying member of the itelligentsia (sp?), I'm also aware that this rule is stupid.  Sure, if you're photographing a plastic bike for "manufacturer" website or catalog, put it in the biggest gear.  However, this is a bicycle in its natural habitat, and the approach to wildlife photography should be completely different.  If you're photographing the bicycle you're riding in the wild, you should do so in the gear that it's in at that moment, for this communicates to the viewer the nature of the surrounding terrain.  In short, the bicycle should be in harmony with its surroundings, not in some gear combo you use three times a year when you're attempting to reach Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo" speed.

Amateurs.

Then someone went ahead and cited something called "Rule 26:"

Rule #26 // Make your bike photogenic.

When photographing your bike, gussy her up properly for the camera. Some parameters are firm: valve stems at 6 o’clock. Cranks never at 90 or 180 degrees. Others are at your discretion, though the accepted practices are include putting the chain on the big dog, and no bidons in the cages.

Oh please.  Firstly, I don't use "bidons," I use bottles.  "Bidon" sounds like something you might do on eBay, or like one of those things they have in fancy hotels next to the toilet so you can wash out your vagina.  Secondly, the only reason my BOTTLE was not in its cage was because I was drinking from it at that moment, because photographing bicycles is thirsty work.  (Also, I may have taken a moment to use my bottle to wash out my vagina.)  Thirdly, how do you put your chain on the "big dog?"  Is that a UK Fredism or a typo?  I'm not up on this sphincter-clenching roadie jargon.

Anyway, as a semi-professional bike blogger, I've obviously seen these Voluminati rules before, but I've never been able read them all without succumbing to severe douche chills.  Also, if I see the phrase "old school" written anywhere I switch off immediately, and if somehow that doesn't trigger my emergency reading shut-off valve then the phrase "slam that stem" certainly will.  I do think cataloguing these "rules" is a useful exercise though, because it proves conclusively that "cool" and "dorky" are close relatives, and the only difference between them is that the latter is the attempt to articulate the former.

Or, to put it in more Velominonymous terms:

D=C+A (Dork=Cool plus Articulation)

In other words, if you try to describe why something's cool it automatically ain't no more.

(Basically, anal retentiveness and cool are natural enemies, and this is why cycling is one of the dorkiest subcultures in the known universe.)

Speaking of "rules," one rider who has no use for them is
the time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet TridorkBret, and did you know that in 1996 Bret set a record with his aerodynamic bike?  Apparently so:


By the way, if a TED Talk is like watching someone masturbate for 18 minutes (which it is), then a picture of Bret suddenly appearing during a TED Talk is like if, at a particularly intense lip-biting moment, the masturbator ejaculated one of those magician bouquets:



Lastly, some duders in Colorado who are obviously high on legal marijuana have invented something that actually seems kinda useful:


Not bad.  I could see keeping a pair of these in my commuting bag.  (That is, if I had a real job.)

133 comments:

cervicalgia said...

Podium - early today!

Anonymous said...

No I will never show my pus Never ask

Anonymous said...

I would dung to seehugehung,eatblowun

Anonymous said...

Wow, top 10?

Anonymous said...

Sorry Bike Snob I drank a whole Bottle Of Gt's xxx Trilogy classic Kombucha synergy. It just hit like H After about twentyThree mintues i want to wear my Sidis and take a ride, stuck to the chain of LETOITLE

Anonymous said...

Yarrr

Anonymous said...

How cold was the Stelvio stage of the Giro?

"That was colder then the time I stared Chuck Norris in the eyes." - Nathan Haas

Anonymous said...

Damn, lost the podium again. Need to train more...

Anonymous said...

anal retentiveness [ I will never clean out my rectom with a bidon; it is already empty(well just a tad bit of blood). It high time to fuck mysecondbackhole]
I wish you cycling, I hate this loop.
If this isn't rad then what is coolness I never want to be
The loop closes..

Jasper said...

Early doors again, sheesh.
Stop messing with us man

Duder said...

Always put the chain on a big dog, though of course it is the little yappers that will bit your ankles.

Anonymous said...

From Japan with Hello Kitty Luv

mikeweb said...

It's not the size of the chainring, it's how you pedal it.

Anonymous said...

I am thinking that IMBA should have hired the flypedal chaps for their video.

Anonymous said...

ten inch nails TIN ]Oman[ omen crankusedpushsuckhackmech

Anonymous said...

Never grab my 40KG backside in a TIN mosh pit! I didn't want to be heckled ,groped or while climbing a small hil is a 112 mile road race it is not there for you to grab at or actually grab fuckers. I mash my pedals faster to get further away from your grabby claws see yeh in Antwerp,Belgium PIGSY

Buffalo Bill said...

Up early for a ride? Good on ya.
For me it's going to be riders on the storm, just to keep the doors motif going.

Slow Joe Crow said...

I'm surprised you weren't all over those Flypedals guys for simply reinventing the Winwood Deckster http://www.amazon.com/Winwood-Decksters-Platform-Clip-Ons-without/dp/B001C6BJGK
Also, thank you for your cogent of explanation of why the "rules" are actually a code of douchiness. The one true rule, is get out and ride you gorram bike.

The Robot Engineer said...

Although those Fly pedal adapters look useful, the Winwood (now Problem Solvers) Decksters have been around for 10 or 15 years. The only significant difference that I see is that the Fly can also take 3-bolt cleats ... although, 3-bolt cleats are curved, so I'm not sure how that works. Also, the Winwood have stabilizing blocks alongside the 2-bolt cleat.
https://www.google.com/search?q=winwood+decksters&safe=off&rlz=1C1LDJZ_enUS554US554&es_sm=93&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=7OyFU_S_L6G_8QGuioDoCA&ved=0CE0QsAQ&biw=950&bih=931

BikeSnobNYC said...

Slow Joe Crow,

Don't those only work with mountain bike pedals?

I had those or something very much like them a long time ago, and I was never, ever able to successfully engage them with the pedals. Not once.

Using the actual cleat for the pedal seems like a good idea to me.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

wishiwasmerckx said...

The vagina is a wonderful self-cleaning device. Do not continue to perpetuate the myth that it is shameful and dirty and must be washed a lot.

The Robot Engineer said...

The Fly appear to be curved on the cleat-mounting side, which is how they can work with road cleats.
I'm no metallurgist, but I don't think that "aircraft grade" applies to just any aluminum, particularly the cast aluminum they're using for these. I suppose it's just being used as a throw-away cool-sounding term.

leroy said...

Okay. Non-rhetorical "what"?

The Robot Engineer said...

Although "The vagina is a wonderful self-cleaning device.", that only applies to the interior. The outside can build up some mighty stank. That's why we wash any part of our body.

BamaPhred said...

Can I go with a non-rhetorical "Huh?"

Brandon Holgersen said...

I've got a product. A device that converts your fly pedals into retro toe clips.

McFly said...

I rode am IMBA trial of the Ben Hawes colorway in Owensboro, KY yesterday while you schmucks did the work. It's the most fun I ever did have on a bike unless you subtract my 8th grade summer when I rode all the way across town to Jenny Lynn Rafferty's house. And when I say house I mean single-wide.

Dave said...

I'd favor "trackstood" because it scans better - as in, "I should of trackstood in bed."

As for the cleat/no cleat problem, we Look users usually slip on cheap and effective rubbers, preventing the awkward slip-and-full-split, among other undesirable outcomes.

Father, I want to kill you. Mother, I want to trackstand next to your bed.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Robot engineer, with reasonable diet and hygiene, it should not smell bad.

We shame and control women by propagating the myth that their vaginae stink.

Anonymous said...

18 minutes? man, that's something which to aspire.

Anonymous said...

someone was up at the crack of Dawn. hope she made pancakes after.

Anonymous said...

"...We shame and control women by propagating the myth that their vaginae stink."

no; we can do it other ways, too. gotta play to the audience.

DB said...

I thought the license plate read World Smut, but that's just me.

Dooth said...

Wildcat, you're a thought leader...congrats!

DUMB DOWN said...

I'm of the counterintelligentsia.


Anonymous said...

Why would a design for a world bike summit use an auto license plate? Oh yeah, America the beiutiufull.

Eponymous said...

Merriam sez of dog: 3a : any of various usually simple mechanical devices for holding, gripping, or fastening that consist of a spike, bar, or hook
So maybe it should be "the big dogs" to mean the teeth on the outside of a chainring aka chainwheel.

Kenny Banya said...

"itelligentsia (sp?)"

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

dancesonpedals said...

i'm so horny the crack of dawn had better be careful

Comment deleted said...

Since the Rules are stupid, uncool, etc., I guess we can dispense with the sunglasses-over-the-helment-straps one, right?

FlyClip might just liberate me from my bad compromise (and fucking clicky) Shimano A530s.

The King of Park Slope said...

I'm interested in your enticing fly paper offer. However, my funds are currently tied up in a long term Nigerian potassium mining fund. In order to free up the needed capital for your fly paper enterprise, I would need you to lend me the needed $3,302 in fees to free up my Nigerian potassium fortune.

I look forward to your reply.

McFly said...

You sure its not We Really Love Discussing Scranus Massaging Techniques?

grog said...

How is a bidon like a crampon?
Both are used at the crack of Dawn.
BEIK SNOB you crack me up.
and down.

Anonymous said...

I wasn’t dismayed at seeing the chain on the little ring, I was chagrined. And I’m not sure you can reach Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo speed on a compact crankset so that lame argument is moot snobby. If you’re only using the “big” ring 3 times a year it just shows how the soft semi-pro bike blogging life has turned you into a big woosy.
Are you and Fatty (you know, the other semi-pro bike blogger) ever going to do anything. I’m mentioning this because it seems you’ll be practically in his back yard at IMBA.

Anonymous said...

At ~3:25 the Flypedal guys state that if the pedals break they will "replace them for free at no additional cost." Thats great. I would think that they would replace them for free WITH an additional cost.

Comment deleted said...

Incomprehensible Anon -- thank you for keeping your pus to yourself. Also, nobody needs to see your gleet.

db said...

I've had Wellgo platform adapters for years. A bike shop just gave them to me -- they had used them when folks with street shoes wanted to test ride bikes already equipped with SPD's.

The Robot Engineer said...

The Wellgo adapters are a lot like the Crank Brothers Platform Adapters. The cleat is molded out of the same piece of plastic as the platform, giving them a short lifespan for clipping in and out. I have a set on the Crank Brothers Candy pedals on my tandem and they work quite well if you just leave them in place, providing a usable clipless location on the top side of the pedal at all times.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else at first think that the muffled-in-helmet-voiced woman in the video was pantsless? I kept expecting her mom to ask why she was going to Colorado without pants.

Buffalo Bill said...

Hey CD, I too have a pair of those A530s on my new commuter, and they have totally fucked me up. I can't seem to clip into any of my pedals on any of my bikes now without looking down (and often requiring 3 attempts). It used to be so easy, but my confidence is totally gone.

I find I trackstand a lot more now.

The Robot Engineer said...

I watched it in the small window and hadn't noticed the potential pantslessness. I was distracted by the goggles that were riding up on her eyes.

Comment deleted said...

Buffalo Bill, yeah, they aren't the easiest to clip into. But what drives me crazy about them is that no matter how much I repack them with grease, they eventually develop a click/creak in hot weather. You notice that?

samuel said...

I'm going to stick with my ol' timey pedals with clips into which any shoe clad foot may slide. They work with any shoe, except of course those fancy shoes with the thing on the bottom made to clip into fancy pedals designed to hold fancy shoes. They may or may not work with my flip flops, but even I'm not that stupid.

leroy said...

I am informed by a canine who shall remain nameless that in Brooklyn, photogenic bicycle picture means big dog put chain on you.

I have to admit he does a good Yakov Smirnoff imitation.

But I'm not buying into that whole "pictures or it didn't happen" thing.

Anonymous said...

I don't see how the FlyPedals fix the problem? They just seem to create a different sort of problem. With the FlyPedals you don't need to swap clipless and platform pedals on the bike, but you will need a separate set of clipless cleats for your bike shoes, because the other set will be bolted into the FlyPedal (and it would be annoying to swap those). But I'm also an idiot, so I'm probably missing something obvious.

In other words, rather than needing a separate set of clipless pedals, you'll need a separate set of cleats.

The Robot Engineer said...

You're correct in that a second set of cleats is needed to make the Flys operational. Is that a big deal? i don't think so. Try riding on Egg Beaters without compatible clipless shoes. That's a fun exercise.

BamaPhred said...

I dunno, but that full face helment/goggle look freaks me out and gives me nightmares. Its the look of immediate Apocalypse. Like some of that 80's record sleeve art Snob shares.

The robot killer says "stepfather slopotr"

DB said...

You can't imagine how surprised I am that the commentary today has swung towards pedals and not vaginal cleanliness.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:37pm,

I can't be the only bike dork who has spare cleats lying around. Or do you actually throw out the worn ones?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Fred of the Sea said...

I predict those platform things will cause your pedals to go desired side down at every stop, unlike the spd hermaphrodite pedals on my commuter, which only do that 50% of the time.

How do I detest people who misuse the term "parameter"? Let me count the ways.

Gotta run; the blue bus is calling.

Anonymous said...

Also: pedaldabs. http://www.bikedabs.com/shop/shimano-spd-sl/

P. Bateman said...

@ wishiwasmerckx - no, we shame and control women because that is what they want. they love it.

i have look style pedals and find them completely compatible with boat shoes, vans etc...never tried in high heels or with cowboy boots, but with most any normal-ish shoe they work just fine for casual riding to the bar or whatever.

still, a not too bad video as far as kickstarter goes. dude looks like and sounds like jim from the office.

Daddo said...

business cards at a mountain bike smit?
that would never happen, would it?

JLRB said...

Ah yes, artistic license - changing the sequence of things to make them more interesting. First I quoted the stupid rule about bidons, and the citation indicated "the Rules" are stupid
"Stupid Rule Number 26"
After which Anon noted that, although compliant with the no Vice President's part of the rule, your photo otherwise disregarded the teachings of "the Rules"

What's my point again?

Flyover BC said...

Here's an important safety tip to keep in mind during your visit to Colorado. Don't take the challenge for easy to intermediate mountain bike ride.

It may well consist of a 3000 ft climb, some of it steep, with a a descent that's describe das easy. And you will take it easy, rather than risk falling off the cliff, choosing between crashing into the house sized boulder or the pine tree, and getting washed off the bine in a creek.

But Colorado standards, it'll be easy to intermediate.

But, at Steamboat, you can probably ride to the top on the chair lift.

dancesonpedals said...

WHIRLED SMUT

JLRB said...

If anyone takes them seriously (and Lob I hope not) "The Rules" are Frediculous - riding in foul weather makes you a badass? Or maybe just a humble commuter...

And the one about never leaving the big ring? I guess it would make it easier to never screw up the one about taking photos in the big ring ...

AND don't tell me what to wear when I ride - I ride in baggies on a road bike with socks that don't match my "kit" or my wheels or whatever.


But #5 does ring true.

Scranus

JLRB said...

Another safety tip for Colorado - beware the gummy bears

Fred of the Sea said...

All of the stupid rules are stupidly true (except the one about never getting out of the big ring, which is just stupidly stupid) and stupidly reminiscent of my years as a hopelessly slow and stupid, but immaculately shaven, land Fred. As the immortal Sid Perelman wrote, "Nunquam iterum, Carolus."

Roille Figners said...

If I was looking for an excuse to tune out, and the phrase "old school" hadn't appeared yet, something like "Accepted practices are include" would probably do the trick.

Speaking of tuning out, Kickstarter videos should always demo the product first, THEN show the two talking heads who are in love with each other.

Aircraft-grade aluminum reminds me of facial-quality bathroom tissue. ("Excuse me, where do you keep the anal-quality bathroom tissue?")

Anywhoo the fact that multiple devices have been invented to turn clitless pedals to platforms, but not the other way around, should tell you all you need to know.

Salty and Sore said...

Fixed-Gear Mountain Bikefeits!!!

All other beiks are for pussies!

The Robot Engineer said...

"anal-quality bathroom tissue"

I'd love to see that on some packaging.

babble on said...

You have da best job! And you're DA BEST at it, too. The bike in its natural habitat?! HA!! OMG yer so funny. That was fucking brilliant. I will forever look at my bike differently now. Thank you for that, Snobberdood.

But trackstanded? Really? And riding a bike is like sex in some ways. You should really do both everyday for health and happiness. And it's important to push yourself to be better in every way every single day, so you know I hit the stupidly small compact big ring every day, as hard and fast as I can.

As a girl who just rode 80 km and climbed 1800 m I am here to testify that each and every part of me is sweaty and kindov stinky in a way, my vagina no more no less than any other. (And mmmm vagina. Thank you for mentioning one of my favourite things, Snobbums.) But I do appreciate your point, WIWM. Thank you for being switched-on enough to notice the phenomenon. Um, and master bateman? With all due respect sir, fuck right off. Right after you LMPC.

JLRB - I loved the rules cause they made me laugh at how often they nailed me. Everyone is always amazed and in awe to see how easily a bike can fit into a professional lifestyle year round, aren't they? Aaaaaand after a lifetime as a humble commuter I am definitely hard-assed, if not quite badass! Literally. Function creates form, n'all that. But I still want to know two things:
What is a half-wheel? And what does it mean to sprint from the hoods?


Buffalo Bill said...

CD - warm weather? Since I got the bike last fall, I haven't seen much of that.

Jam Master Cray said...

Kickstarter vid: got it, all of it, within the first minute. Seriously, edit that sh*t. We got it. Clipless to platform. Done.

And yes, it seems like a good idea.

CommieCanuck said...

The number of bib shorts guy photos lately is TOO DAMNED HIGH.

CommieCanuck said...

The "rules" of cycling are really derived from the Belgians, who are a truly bizarre people. For example. while training to race, eating cheese is ok, but not melted cheese, and grown men talk about the shapes of each other's asses. It's as awkward as I imagine a real life conversation with Babble.

DB said...

I just reread the Rules.
I thought you were supposed to fold up the elastic band of your bike shorts so the Pearl Isumi was visible.
You mean I've been doing this for thirty years because I thought it was a rule and it isn't?

CommieCanuck said...

Snob, custom NY license idea for you:

WRD SLT

Flyover BC said...

I too was focusing on no pants.

I'm color blind, so after awhile assumed she had on something, but when they changed the camera angle I was still trying to decide, pants or not.

Then, I started wondering the older woman was going to get pants less.

I didn't listen to audio so I was using my imagination to provide the dialogue.

Anonymous said...

Wildcat Rock Machine 2:53,

I do keep my spare cleats, but only because I'm a hoarder. My spare cleats are worn out and maybe when using them with the FlyPedals the whole platform could fall off. It might be possible to torque the platform in such a way that that would happen?

I guess I need to wait for Stevil's opinion on this.

Fred of the Sea said...

Babble,

Half-wheeling is consistently leading some gink, with whom you're ostensibly having a nice social ride, by half a wheel, and thereby incrementally increasing the pace until he's hanging on for dear life.

Sprinting from the hoods is failing to get into the drops for a sprint on flat ground. Classically wussic.

My ring is definitely more sensitive and easily abraded than my face.

The Robot Engineer said...

That's exactly what happens with my Winwood Decksters using Egg Beater cleats. If I twist my foot too much when mounting or dismounting, it unclips and falls to the ground. That's why I was an early adopter of the Pub Pedal. Unfortunately, their downfall was no restraint from sliding laterally off the pedals except friction. Let's just say it wasn't enough.

P. Bateman said...

@babble - those shades of grey books sold a lot of copies. just sayin'

Anonymous said...

I like the fly pedal. gave them some money. the problem solver looks like it is for 2 bolt cleats only.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Not to pick nits, but half-wheeling is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of eyes glued to the leading bike's rear hub where they belong, the trailing rider's rear wheel overlaps the front rider's rear wheel.

Why is this a problem? It leaves no room for error. Should either rider deviate from a straight line due to road hazards, a moment's inattention, or whatever, now there is contact and a crash which wouldn't have happened had the trailing rider been the proper distance behind the leading rider's rear wheel. It also messes up a proper draft and disrupts the paceline.

It really has nothing to do with increasing the pace. If you wish to increase the pace, just jump around the guy and attack.

As for sprinting on the hoods, this refers to the brake levers. You get more power and are more balanced and aerodynamic sprinting with hands firmly affixed to the lower portion of the bars rather than the hoods.

Why is sprinting on the hoods a cardinal sin? Well, I'm glad that you asked. If your hands are on the hoods, you are within easy reach of the brake levers. Not so with hands on the drops during an all-out sprint. In other words, sprinting while grasping the brake levers is less than fully committed, and thus entirely unacceptable among hard men.

the commentariat said...

We waited all day for Babble to comment on her vagina. Didn't get a damn thing accomplished at the office today, the anticipation was so thick.

R. Jeremy said...

"sprinting from the hoods" is a classic, yet little known, cunnilingus technique.

Comment deleted said...

BB - keep an ear on 'em, and let me know how they behave once you get the inevitable anus-of-hell temperatures that surely await.

Fred of the Sea said...

WIWM, with all due respect and in a spirit of friendliness, a quick Google shows what half wheeling is.

ken e. said...

@fred,
wiwm has proffered the correct definition. anything else is probably derived from that. like everything on the innernets, there's a billion opinions, but somewhat less facts.

WEEL OVER
LAPD FACT

Anonymous said...

Is this like a massive practical joke those kickshitter guys, Snobby and the entire Snobbysphere commentariate are playing on me?

Have you all ganged up and gone to all that trouble just to vex me!?

What the fuck is wrong with you all!?!?!?

~ Double sided pedals.

~ Cleated on one side, flat on the other.

~ Both options available at all times.

~ No farting about fitting those things on pedals in the unlikely event you haven't actually lost them already.

~ Carrying those things around is no less inelegant than carrying around normal shoes.

~ And how easy would it be to steal them, just BTW?

Fuck me dead, what is wrong with you all!?


========================


In happier news, I'm pretty sure that WRLD SMUT video is the beginning of a porn film.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Fred, I have no appetite for a flame war, but remember the words of our great President Lincoln:

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet."

JLRB said...

Half Wheeeeeeling - the internets provide at lest two uses of the term so both of you can feel right

WISMRX yours appears here

FOS Steve Tilford agrees with you

And this chat agrees with you both

So, the lesson is, you really can believe everything you read on the internet.

JLRB said...

Anon @ 6:12 -

I have a pair of the two faced pedals on one bike. Only problems: (1)they are kinda clunky (but so is the fly); and (2) riding without cleats changes effective saddle height by enough to be a bit of an issue for a ride of any length. I s'pose that the slight difference in height is less significant if its just a quick errand (aka Pub) run.

Solution = n+1 - a dedicated non-Fred bike with non-Fred pedals. Just don't go riding it on gravel, or incidenti, lesioni fisiche o morte

wishiwasmerckx said...

Keep up the spirited debate, for we are winding it up for the 100th comment sprint, and etiquette rather demands that you not half-wheel and that you not sprint with hands on the hoods...

Comment deleted said...

I only half-wheel when I'm going half-fast.

ouabacher said...

Have had a pair of Winwood Decksters for probably nine years. Those Colorado guys are high. Is a cursory glance thru the webs that difficult?

BamaPhred said...

Sprinting from the "hoods" means something completely different here, and I'm also sure it applies were you live, Not sprinting from the hoods would invite some Deliverance style action.

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

babble on said...

WIWM - your half-wheel explaination is the one I experienced the why-for-ish-ness of last Thanksgiving Monday when I woke up in hospital after my front wheel crossed paths with Lido's rear wheel.

Anon @ 6:12 said...

Grazi, JLRB.

You sound like a competenze meccaniche experienced with those double sided pedals and their uso designato.

I take your point about the alterizato of the effectivo saddle height, but this wouldn't be a problemo exclusivamente to the pedals. Those fly things would also alter the effective saddle and probably by more than pedals.

In any event, any scanally accomplished biciclettist could surely easily accommodate the few millimetres difference?

May you always find yourself in un luogo sicuro.

Anonymous said...

I made one of those clipless platforms years ago. Yeeeears ago.

Anonymous said...

How does Moses make his coffee?

HEBREWS IT!

Anonymous said...

Why did Stevie Wonder fuck yo hairy-ass mama?

Cuz he could Nazi

ge said...

Snob, this is what happens when, after 6 years of consistently mediocre (or worse) photography, and I use that term lightly, you posted maybe 2 good pictures in the last year. Now people have unreasonable expectations of you. No turning back.

Your analysis of TED talks is spot on & hilarious.

Holy Roller said...

Now that you mention Moses, I think that Wildcat should come up with the 10 Commandments of cycling and have Eric carve them into a saddle, then WC can descend from the Mount of the Shopping Mall where he sometimes rides to and drinks coffee, and with great fanfare, bestow them unto the unwashed masses.

Anonymous said...

Where can I get urethral flowers? What a wonderful way to show your sentiments to that special someone.

McFly said...

Dammit. I was half-commenting and missed the selection and I sprinted from the smart phone. Did anyone catch the diminutive Italian give the other 4 riders in the break the bird as he crossed the line? They played cat and mouse and he got the cheese.

leroy said...

Got doored on Second Avenue on the way home tonight.

Good thing I was riding a Citibike and not my own bike.

Even better luck: I cushioned the impact with my face.

Driver couldn't have been more apologetic. She's a cyclist.

Funny thing: I was wearing only a BSNYC safety hair net cap and yet somehow lived to tell the tale.

One downside: My dog won't stop the "missed connection" and "Dear Penthouse -- I never thought this could happen to me" jokes.

He's just grumpy because I told him he can be replaced now that our vision zero mayor has lifted the city ban on pet ferrets.

Herschel Raney said...

Damn you for making me think about buying one of those Brooks saddles.

Extra cleats? Hmm they are all attached to my extra shoes.

I like the pedal guys but I don't think you can patent that. I think all the pedal makers can just fire off some of their own.

And damn-- that Quintana on the mountains in the snow and rain. I was impressed.

DB said...

Leroy!
Hope you're okay.

Nacnud said...

The Platform Pedals(TM)look like a solution to a first world problem:

Q: How many pedals do we need?

A: n+2 apparently...

I guess it's indicative of the human condition that people choose a silent, efficient and (somewhat) inexpensive form of avoiding walking but have to wear special shoes to do it...

Anonymous said...

Even the unanimous circle jerk around rule #5 "the V" is horse plop. You don't need to HTFU to do bikes right. "Have fun" where's that rule? "Don't be a bummer" where's that rule? Those are the rules of my group ride, also I don't need a group to ride a two-wheeler thankyouverymuch. Also, commuters are the enlightened ones, the real "hard men and bad ass ladies." (Not the goody-goody ones or the "look at meee save the planet" ones) The real heroes are the salt-of-the-earth, slightly-schvitzy, invisible-to-hip ones, who are neither conformist enough to be respected by norms, nor trying hard enough to be granted street cred. Yet they ride on, despite the unprovoked derision and disgust, treated like shrubby, second class citizens on their own streets.

Anonymous said...

Poop n shits. In my chamois. There, I said it. It was a light brown skid mark. Sweat watered down the intensity of the shit stain. Some fecal matter was absorbed inside, like a sponge would do. I didn't dare wring it out, but letting the stain sit and dry could be a mistake leading to a permanent brown spot.

I put laundry soap directly on the discoloured area, then washed.

Situation resolved. I sniffed them out of the washer to make sure.


McFly said...

Is that the bottom corner of a white lunch bag hangin' out of the right glove of the diminuitve Columbian's roading glove? Naaaaaaaaaaaa

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Glad you seem no worse for your trouble Leroy.

BamaPhred said...

Leroy, as bad as I feel for your situation, I could not help but laugh at "cushioned the impact with my face." What a great outlook.

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ce said...

No thanks, I'm just browsing

ce said...

McFly 6:23, I didn't notice, I was too distracted by the trypophobia inducing helment.

JLRB said...

Anyone else get hit by a shovel loaded with dirt on the way to work today?

It turns out cars aren't the only ones that "don't see you" - it includes people shoveling out storm drains also don't see you (despite hi viz, headlamp, squeeling brakes, and me verbally stating that I was passing behind him).

Pretty funny once I realized I wasn't harmed

Oh yea, it drizzled on me as I rode in - didn't feel very badass - just damp.

(Leroy - glad you bounced OK)

Anonymous said...

DB!

Spokey said...

I've got spare cleats all over the place. I used to buy a set when I saw them cheap on ebuy and another set will come with pedals (also stocked up those from ebuy). I only stopped buying them because I figure I'm going to die before I use them all.

OTOH I've never had a problem walking around with my SPD shoes. Some of those others look like they are a big problem but sometimes I'd walk around the office all day without changing shoes.

But if I intended to ride occasionally on street shoes why wouldn't I just use one of those SPD one side & platform the other side peddlers? An A530 set are $55 from Amazonia and are probably competitive with what the retail price of those clip things are going to be.


robot sez there are 2322286 595 reasons to not buy the stupid adapters.

babble on said...

Ouch, Leroy! And sorry, but LOL!! Heh heh - it's good to see that you've not lost your sense of humour. xo

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Solution = n+1 - a dedicated non-Fred bike with non-Fred pedals."

-Thank you JLRB.

I would have loved to see the look on Leroy's dog's face right after the ferret threat.

The Robot Engineer said...

I pity the fool that only has the space for n=1.

Anonymous said...

fly pedals? why not...Pedal pad? or pedal-->PEDAL! major problem with this arrangement. Can a person keep their foot from twisting and releasing the fly pedal? how does one keep the pad on the pedal if it becomes unclipped?

The Robot Engineer said...

Exactly. Reference my previous comment:
"hat's exactly what happens with my Winwood Decksters using Egg Beater cleats. If I twist my foot too much when mounting or dismounting, it unclips and falls to the ground. That's why I was an early adopter of the Pub Pedal. Unfortunately, their downfall was no restraint from sliding laterally off the pedals except friction. Let's just say it wasn't enough."

bogiesan said...

Did anyone say thanks for the Jim Morrison-ism?

Freds scattered on dawn's highway bleeding.
Salmon crowd the bike lanes' fragile buffered line.

Philip said...

you can make your own clipless decks pretty easily.

I've made about a dozen pair for people. I stopped riding with them when I went to all flat pedals all the time.

Anonymous said...

Nice, they should call them flat-dapters.

Anonymous said...

Hey snobby, check this out:
http://www.startribune.com/local/north/261543101.html