Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Today's Wednesday Is Made From 100% Reclaimed Water Tower Wood

Yesterday I tried that Fly6 camera again, and on the way home I figured I'd try it on the front of the bike for a change:


I had to put it upside-down in order to account for the fork angle, and I wouldn't use it at night because few things annoy me more than "light salmon" (people who use red lights up front or vice-versa), but otherwise it worked fine, because why wouldn't it?

One or two commenters yesterday expressed a wish to see actual moving footage, and once I've wrapped my tiny mind around how to edit and upload short videos maybe I'll do that, but in the meantime I can assure you that you're not missing anything.  For example, the most exciting thing that happened to me on my return trip was that I dropped a bag of chips:


They fell out of the pocket of my Inspector Gadget jacket, forcing me to turn around and rescue them from the wheels of an approaching Subaru.

Then, when I got home, the cat used the Fly6 to take a "selfie:"


Coincidentally, this is also the very first thing I see every morning, which is why I'm slowly unraveling.

By the way, what with the Internet age and the global appropriation of "messenger culture," "urban cycling," and all the rest of it, there is only one (1) remaining style of bicycle that is (at least as far as I know) unique to New York City, and that is the food delivery bike:


New York City food delivery bikes tend to be mountain bikes or hybrids, and the GT "triple triangle" frame is especially coveted.  The extra-high "cat in heat" fender and taped frame are typical hallmarks, but this particular bike had a couple of interesting features.  Firstly, it had a side-pull brake conversion in the rear:


And no front brake at all in the front:


I may sound like I'm being catty (again with the cats?) but I'm totally not, because again I think these bikes are probably the last remaining bit of cycling uniqueness in New York City.  Even our bike share bikes are the same as everyone else's (apart from the sponsor):


(Same bike, different bank.)

There was a time when a bike with super-narrow handlebars and a front Aerospoke was a uniquely New York bike, but that was many years ago, and the style has since gone global and is now pretty much completely out of style--though you do still see it in barf-worthy promotional videos:


Patagonia Bowery Surf Shop NYC from Indoek on Vimeo.

Look at those bars!  I've written with pens longer than that.  Seriously, what year is this?!?


Though I guess you need bars that narrow to clear those bollards at the foot of the Williamsburg Bridge:


Couldn't be more than five feet, after all.

Still, if your handlebars are shorter than your brake lever, get longer handlebars:


Wait, why am I even saying this?  Nobody does this anymore except for him.  Take his friend, John the Baptist, for example:


He rides a skateboard:


And what about his other friend, Jason Schwartzman?


He also rides a skateboard--but it's a tiny skateboard, which has a secondary use as a doorstop:


And together, they all work at the Patagonia store, which is what this video is promoting:


I'm old, so this is incredibly fucking depressing.  See the black awning currently shielding the John Vulvanus store?  Well, that was once CBGBs, which makes the Patagonia store what was, in my day, the "CBGB Record Canteen:"


(I could not for the life of me find a photo of the CBGB Record Canteen, so here's an older picture without it.)

Look, I know things can't stay the same, and admittedly the Record Canteen was a poor business model.  See, it was foolish to buy a record before a show, since if you brought it inside it would get smashed.  And while theoretically you could always buy a record after the show, the fact is that when your ears are ringing that loudly it's hard to think about buying records.  It's kind of like shopping for wine with a hangover, or browsing the Nashbar closeouts after a 140-mile "epic."  Sure, if you're really far gone you may be up for it, but most people just wanna go to bed.

Now, though, you can go to that same storefront and buy a surfboard from "reclaimed water tower wood:"


And they'll put your surfwax made by a husband-and-wife team in Red Hook in an artisanal reusable shopping bag:


Then after work they'll go surfing:


And camp out on a rooftop:




Yeah, seriously:


No wonder Spike Lee is so angry.

Speaking of the globalization of pretty much everything, the New York Times is onto fat bikes now, which means random people at work are going to start asking you about them:


Where trails are too soft for regular mountain bikes, or too sparse to protect skiers from subsurface obstacles, fat bikes are filling a gap. Riders do well on mixed terrain, including on trails where the snow is too thin for skiing and on south-facing pitches where dirt is exposed during a low-snow winter. “It’s opening a new way to be outdoors,” Chris Estrem, a Ketchum physical therapist, backcountry skier and world bicycle traveler, said. “It’s made me a better mountain biker. I want to ride it all the time. I love it.”

Apparently, they're taking off in Idaho because there hasn't been enough snow to ski.  Meanwhile, here in New York we need them this winter because there's too much snow, which means the fat bike is now the official bike of climate change, and thus the final harbinger of the apocalypse.

Who'd 'a thunk it...

97 comments:

Anonymous said...

doper for the win

Anonymous said...

Detroit Mac

Anonymous said...

Portland is for lovers.

Anonymous said...

podium

Anonymous said...

Poo-dium?

mander said...

Toppity Tennitty

McFly said...

Whats the vice-versa of people that use red lights up front? Red lights that use people up front?

Interesting.....

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten on a late post.

Anonymous said...

Top teh N'

ken e. said...

if i procrastinate just enough...

Anonymous said...

Procrastinadium !!

vsk

samh said...

Patiently awaiting the BSNYC/RTMS/WCRM Youtube channel.

ken e. said...

the call went out "12, 12, 12!"

Anonymous said...

15th!? Shark seat doesn't work.

ken e. said...

and get spike lee to edit!

le Correcteur said...

Top twenty; thought I'd be in the forties; what's with the low turnout and the late postings, Snob?

64382968 11

DB said...

John the Baptist.
Good one.

Blog Drafter said...

Leipheimerish podium.

daryl said...

climate changes 4 times a year. but i can't afford 4 fattys

jay said...

a fucking 1600 dollar American jacket and the pocket won't hold a bag o' chips?

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgKtuUwp6FE

Putting the "spurt" in eckspurt said...

My bike shorts are equipped with a Swiss-made, bicycle-powered pocket pussy so that I can pleasure myself while I ride. Maybe the NYT will write an article about them. They're way better than a fat bike, or a fat bottomed girl (if you're into that sort of thing).

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Now I admit I'm not the brightest bulb in the lighting display isle but I don't get "extra-high "cat in heat" fender"

I don't have a cat.

Can you explain that to me?

balls™ said...

Thanks for that picture of your pussy, Snob!

Anonymous said...

SF Bay area: We are so spoiled. Today - 3rd rain since September. And not even cold. Washed Apple's demolition dirt off Pruneridge Ave. I'm tired of the REI rain jacket shedding it's white waterproofing. Time to go full bike poncho?

Anonymous said...

I'm reaching my phat bike endorsement limit. Yet another reason why I can't wait for this snow to go away. But then again, folks keep telling me that they ride em all year round. Good for you, I tell them.

Roille Figners said...

Forgot to tell you: So I wake up yesterday, warsh my face, get dressed, and walk toward the living room where Hunny Bunny is already up, watching the Today show, and as I round the corner and see the screen, the first face I see that day is ROB FORD, being "checked-in-with" by Matt Lauer. Apparently everything's going great and is better than ever now that Fords are going to the gym, stopped doing the crack they "experimented with just that one time" and quit drinking to excess. In response to repeated skeptical hounding he finally says "You might be perfect, Matt, but I'm not" and in this way, Matt Lauer wins.

Regular guy said...

Most barf-worthy was having to watch John the Baptist/skater wake up. Nasty.

Then he just puts on a shirt and skates to work. Again, nasty.

Chicken Little said...

Anon @ 1:43 - Spoiled? You are about to run out of water. Use that poncho to capture every drop that falls from the sky.

Spoke Lee said...

Gotta love cycles, even if they are unridable real estate cycles "but wait long enough and you too may get to experience falling rents and street crime!"

Buffalo Bill said...

I'd ride a fat bike, I totally would. But here in the chinook warmed wilds of americas off kilter toupe, we get ice. Lots and lots of ice.

I mean it's icy man, and I'm too chicken to ride on it without studded tires. I hear you can get studded fat tires, but they weigh more than the bike.

Anonymous said...

Let the dachshunds sleep on the bed, and the cats'll leave you alone, unless the cats have trained the dogs to stay clear.

Regular guy said...

Fly6 front-cam experiment proves nothing interesting happens in front of you while riding.

Also makes me wonder how much stuff I've lost out of my pockets. The Fly6 (rear facing)would definitely help in locating lost pocket contents.

lebutri even!

mikeweb said...

I go pee-pee in my teepee.

Well appointed cyclist said...

Google glasses for the front, brake light thing for the rear. Shark fin thing for the other rear.

Anonymous said...

Fat bikes ruin ski trails. Ban them!

dnk said...

Speaking of bollards in front of the Williamsburg Bridge bike path, has anyone noticed that they have shrunk? Like 2 feet high. I noticed this the other day. Then I forgot to notice it again today. I wonder if they're still like that. Maybe they are adjustable? Maybe I am a moron for asking an inconsequential question for which I do not have sufficient details.

I ride my bike in the snow aren't I cool said...

AnD the media is jealous of Rob Ford and Matty

Anonymous said...

Suck my shark fin.

CommentorBot9000 said...

"...people who use red lights up front or vice-versa..."

Vice-versa what? Using fronts up red lights? Does not compute.

Funny though.

DB said...

Anon 1:43 -
Here in the frozen since Halloween Midwest and East, we have been given a special cabin fever get out of jail pass if we go insane and happen to murder someone we've been cooped up with.
Need to get one of those Fly6 cameras to see if the Mrs is behind me with a knife.

JLRB said...

"...people who use red lights up front or vice-versa..."

Means white lights in the rear, err, .. rear facing white lights.

McFly said...

Forget the Big Dummy you Big Dummy. THe past is the future of you and Jr. cycling.

Roille Figners said...

Speaking of rear-facing, what's up with Jen Selter's ass? It's everywhere. "Girl put yo ass away!"

Roille Figners said...

As they said about Spinal Tap, and to paraphrase the Grey Old Fat Lady, fat bikes continue to fill a much-needed gap.

BamaPhred said...

Why does Retro Motorcycle Guy remind me of Eric Von Zipper? And why did I even think of Eric Von Zipper?

Roman Gladheateher said...

I thought John the Baptist had his head chopped off and dished up on a plate for someones birthday.

Zoo said...

Hey Wildkattenstein: those unconventional "conversions" you see on food delivery bikes are because the dudes steal parts from other bikes whenever something breaks.

ge© said...

Ugh. Random people at work. Here we go ...

Billy the Joel said...

and you call me schmaltzy?

Anonymous said...

The New York hipster is alive and well and getting a beard transplant.

cycle

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/02/26/new-yorkers-paying-thousands-for-beard-transplants/?intcmp=features

Daniel said...

Does anyone else remember when the Alpaca was the harbinger of the apocalypse? Ahhh, the good old days.

Dooth said...

Bowery Surf Shop!? Bowery Surf Shop!? Really? It's not some ironic hipster shit?

Roille Figners said...

Ha ha: "Beards are an important male identifier."

He's right! When I see someone with a beard I'm like 98% sure it's a male.

crosspalms said...

I'd have been here sooner, but after striking out at 2 grocery stores in the past couple of days trying to buy oyster crackers (having leftover chili tonight), I decided to walk almost mile to another grocery at lunch. Success! Picked up a sandwich on the way back, ate it at my desk and looked for the latest post. So that's why I'm 60th or so. Sorry to have wasted everybody's time on my cracker madness but as long as I don't drop them in the street on the way home, I'll have crackers on my chili tonight.

Roille Figners said...

It's cute, the young men want fuller beards so they can look older. In 15 years they'll be re-transplanting those same follicles to the tops of their heads to look younger.

TOTAL BADASS comes from within, guys.

DB said...

Crosspalms:
I hope you haven't stored the oyster crackers in the Brooks Inspector gadget jacket as it appears the bag may fall out.

BamaPhred said...

$8500 Murican dollars for a beard transplant? So you can express your individuality by looking like everyone else? Not to mention the vast amount of $$ for all that ink. And still live in gentrified Brooklyn? Sheesh. I'm working at the wrong job.

Crackers, not Crack said...

It is unclear where the term oyster crackers originally comes from. However, it is believed that they are called oyster crackers because they are shaped like an oyster in its shell and are typically served with oyster stew and other dishes made from oysters. There are at least two rival claims for the invention of oyster crackers. However, Adam Exton, the baker of Trenton, New Jersey is typically credited for their creation. Exton, and his brother in law opened a cake and cracker bakery in 1846.

crosspalms said...

DB
Alas I have no Inspector Gadget jacket, so I must portage my own crackers (in a plastic Jewel bag). If I did sport an IG jacket, I'd have the grocery deliver the crackers to my house. Can't spoil the line of the jacket by jamming stuff in the pockets. Just not done. Besides, that's what my other clothes are for.

JLRB said...

Water tower wood is full of nice chemicals and rot

Great idea, surfing on the stuff

crosspalms said...

New Jersey, eh? I bet they called them erster crackers. I asked the Google and was rewarded with this headline, which is the sort of thing I imagine McFly smacking deep into the centerfield stands.

Blitherer said...

Dear RCT at 1:41...

I think the Cat in Heat references the arc a cat's body makes when it's in heat. Hence the similarity to the shape of the fender.

Get it?

Jim Morrison said...

What have they done to out fair sister?

So, Patagonia comes to the Bowery and CBGB&OMFUG is a vulvanus. Yeah, you could pay me to move back there: 1.7 mil a year after taxes, you could pay me.

RoadQueen said...

I miss the ass references, but that's just my opinion and you know what that's worth.

I wish I could see some o' them moving pictures - that would be swell.

Nice pussy. :)

RCT - Cat in heat = ass up in the air, tail straight up to give some lucky Tom full access, yowling like a cat-chee about wanting to get a piece.

Kinda like me, now that I think about it... Awww. :(

McFly said...

Cats like it doggystyle, too? Hmmmmm....that's weird.

Anonymous said...

snobbers the "China Bike"....i.e. black motorized delivery vehicle is a new york original....at least its ubiquity...i think?....i've never left manhattan.....

p.s. cats are scary

ge© said...

Some people really need twitter accounts

#oystercrackers oh, and #bewaretheflamingalpacalips

Anonymous said...

"...people who use red lights up front or vice-versa..."

... front lights up Red. Which explains the noise Red made.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks for the clarification RQ and Blitherer.

Tom said...

Using a fender to stop your bike from spraying makes me think more along the lines of a male cat rather than female.

crosspalms said...

ge,
Yeah, and I was only talking about crackers. If it had been those little rubber adapters in pumps that are supposed to make them work on both Schrader and Presta valves I'd be yammering for -- well, I'll just stop now.

Nacnud said...

My town has a big car race this weekend (The Clipsal 500, I think its called).

Parts of the city, including my daily commute, which passes through the actual race track are closed to traffic.

There is a graded dirt path I could take that skirts the race track, but I would be risking my life to use it because I DON"T HAVE A DEDICATED GRAVEL BIKE!

Apart from that, I got nuthin'

Robot says sicsac reach - yuck!

Canem Town said...

Vice versa , versa vice, we all know what he meant. Get thy head out of thy posterior. Humanum est errare don't you know.

Ps. John the Baptist can carve some sweet turns

McFly said...

Vice-versaGate will always be emblazoned in my memory. It happened the same day I went to the park and did 3 miles on the rape trail and almost puked because I swore off trianers for a winter.

Anonymous said...

I like the wheels on the delivery bike. The same ones came stock on my road bike. They feature low spoke count which is a bike shop mechanics dream cause they wont stay true. Then the rim cracks at all of the nipples because you have been tweaking the spoke tension so much.

dick hertz said...

I think that's funny cuz u said nippkes

Anonymous said...

I guess this anti gentrification attitude explains why Spike Lee was such a jerk when ripped off work was used to promote his remake of Oldboy? Graphic designers are the rabbis of the hipster movement.

rover215 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rover215 said...

I got to minute 2:02 and hadda stop.

hoboken said...

Hi
Nice one! I like the outfit of the characters. Wish i could do the same thing too but im not that techie.i like the outfit of “from farmer to warden”.. really interesting.dave burke

Sk8 said...

Hey you @ 7:21. 'Dog Town'. Yeah, I get it.

VeloSportingGoods said...

Nice video~

McFly said...

Prreeeeeeeeeettyyyy suuurreee that's K.D.'s Langs' daughter(son?) working at the Patagonia Bowery NYC Surf Shoppe.

McFly said...

People vs. Winter

semi serious cyclist said...

snowbikes as the harbinger of the climate apocalypse. love it.

Dooth said...

I just had to see it to believe it, so I went down to the Bowery Surf Shop...there they all were, the folks from the video, the only ones in the store. I walked further down the Bowery and passed by the Bowery Mission, where homeless guys have dinner.

Anonymous said...

The description above makes me sad.

Privileged kids camp on a rooftop with $2000 of gear, while less fortunate people camp every night on the streets of the city.

Come join our urban surf safari, downtown hipsters.

Anonymous said...

Every day I want to buy shit so I can be cool. It is the path to happiness.

JLRB said...

McFly @ 7:42 Cool vid - winter kicks our ass!

I resembled those videos yesterday - barely recovered from a full on sideways cycling skid on a steep icey hill - all those spinning peeps gotta let go of the brakes (and hope for a dry patch to use them on later).

Comment deleted said...

McFly, great video. Best moment: 2:09, when the skier makes and instant vertical snow angel in a snowbank.

McFly said...

He uber-augered.

JB said...

Frictions; how do they work?

Anonymous said...

Well…we're waiting!

JLRB said...

video editing takes forever

that little bike camera light will result in WCRM being a slave to his video editing software, just so people can see his camera wag like the tail of a mildly pleased shark

insanity will soon follow

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