Wednesday, January 22, 2014

This Just In: A Highly Translucent Excuse!

Here in New York City, crews are working around the clock to plow Winter Storm Anus:


(Winter Storm Anus dumps its load across the region.)

In all, it's really not that big a deal, but nevertheless I'll use it as an excuse by saying that the storm has exacerbated certain scheduling vicissitudes necessitating my offering you today only this highly truncated post, but that tomorrow I will return with a regular update of normal robustness.

In the meantime, contemplate this video about where we're headed:


Pedestrian Safety Tips from Anna Zivarts on Vimeo.

Thanks for reading, please accept my apologies for the abridged update (or don't, I don't really care), and remember: old wheelsets make excellent snowshoes.

Love,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


85 comments:

Bod said...

Anus? Really?

Bod said...

Get those R-Sys' out Snob!

Ian Large said...

Podium! ?

Ian Large said...

And I will be sure to festoon my body with lights whenever I'm out and about, even though I'm thousands of miles from the hell of NYC... :-)

streepo said...

scr-anus

McFly said...

I was washing my Johnson in the hot shower last night when things began to get a bit grippy.

Anonymous said...

Top ten from Japan

Bonzai!

McFly said...

Veronica Corningstone looks like she needs a load dumped across her region.

Anonymous said...

Look up cyclist lodged in windshield in maitowoc wis...ap ran the article...right up your alley cat

Anonymous said...

Another bullshit excuse for giving an abbreviated post..

Snob, not sure if I hate you or envy you for crafting your line of work.

...pretty sure it's just "hate you"

Buffalo Bill said...

I realize radial is lighter and more aero, but I read somewhere on the internet that three cross lacing makes for more compliant snowshoes.

It doesn't matter to me, all the snow around here has turned into ice.

DB said...

Snow day for Snob. Enjoy.

mikeweb said...

More shoveling.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Top Twenty below zero.
Happy wednesday.

Anonymous said...

You're a pussy letting a little snow get in the way of your calling.

Anonymous said...

dear bikesnobnyc i humbly propose that you try to incorporate the following photo into future postings

http://i.imgur.com/SFkKdju.jpg

Anonymous said...

Whoa!

Top XX!!

the soversy

Euro Spondee said...

What do you mean, snow?
Another 65 degree day in the By Area.
Sigh - okay, you can all laugh at us when we are parched and desiccated in the summer

jay said...

Anna gave me wood

Anonymous said...

If ever we needed Wednesday weed, it was today.

cycle

RoadQueen said...

Stupid cold out, and I refuse to light my person properly. I'll take my chances.

Because I'm livin' on the edge.

CommieCanuck said...

That wind is really blowing a foul air into Manhattan from up north in Athol, NY.
We could control all this with some climate control funding from Donald Trump, the high-tech "Trump -Plug™" could be the winter saviour of New York.
A great man, he has offered all the city homeless to curl up and sleep in his hairpiece through the cold night.

CommieCanuck said...

Meanwhile , back in Toronto, the guys have come out and placed a "0" on the sign of "___ number of days without a drunk or stupid Rob Ford Video".
I really thought he was going to crack 80 days.

balls™ said...

But, I paid that nice gentleman from Nigeria $100 to subscribe to your newsletter! What do you mean there's no update?!?!?


Anus even sent its cold ass weather all the way down to tobacco-land; but we didn't even get a snow day. Pointless.

balls™ said...

This one is for you, McFly...

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=1774

DB said...

Hey, Euro:
We take ten minute showers, leave the tap running while we shave and brush teeth. Way too much water here.
Time for you folks out west to start looking for property east of the Mississippi.
And bring us some legal weed.

crosspalms said...

Nice job by Anna Zivarts. Think I'll get some more lights and change my name to Strobe.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Snob,

it's about time you hired liberal arts grads to plow your region around your mansion... if you know what i mean.

BamaPhred said...

Ok, I watched 37 seconds of Anna, then had a seizure.

Hellephant said...

Winter Storm Anus is going to dump a lot of snow.

Comment deleted said...

Anna, please tell me that's a parody.

And that "special move" may keep the cars away, but watch out for taxiing 767s; they will want to follow you.

DB said...

Comment Deleted in early running for COD.

Yarpo said...

Anna...wow...paranoia isn't attractive.

Congrats, Congrats, to Bod, Bod, and Ian, Ian. Going by the oft-mentioned and ephemeral Rule of Double Podio-eeng, Streepo would technically be 3rd, so Congrats Streepo.

Snowshoes for snow, Crampons and an Ice Axe for ice.

Send us your snow, but not from your anus, we're havin' a drought out here and can use it...the snow I mean. California has more than its share of anuses.

the Jimboner said...

Anna Zifarts.

babble on said...

Re: Yer anus. (heh heh, that almost sounds like a title)

You see snobbums, lot of folks depend on you. There are definitely a few folks this side of the comment section who DO leave me in stitches just like you do, but yours are big shoes to fill.

In business they call it a legacy. You need a ghost poster, snobberdoodles.

Just sayin...

Anonymous said...

Abbreviated comment

McFly said...

The stain in drain is done in vain by my vein. I have a Fathead of Babble in my shower with the hot snd cold knobs where her boobs are. I am kidding of course, if I had a Babble Fathead she would be facing the other way.

PHAT BUTT

Dave said...

I don't think that pedestrian light setup is adequate at all. It makes the pedestrian look more like a cyclist to a driver, which increases the danger. Instead I recommend a backpack with a car battery in it, which powers a shoulder-mounted police-car light bar, and also has a standard ambulance siren in it. I want all traffic in a one-block radius frozen to the curb when I cross the road. And a good double-barreled shotgun for backup.

CommieCanuck said...

It's pronounced "Ahh-Noose", it's the worst storm since Asswipe (pronounced Ahss -weep -eh).

dnk said...

CommieCanuck,

Thanks. I didn't know. Rob Ford drunk always brightens my day. Plus I learn that there is a restaurant out there (patronized by drunk robsfords) called "Steak Queen." Bonus.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ian Large, go fuck yourself x 8million...........

Anonymous said...

Anna Zivarts is HOT!!!

dancesonpedals said...

McFly...I haven't heard of anyone washing a Johnson in the shower...maybe an Evinrude or Mercury...but that's just me

aintynt act...sounds like aintaint

Anonymous said...

that video would be funny if it weren't true. Need more videos like that and just outright complaining to get the city to crack down on motorists (not pedestrians) and stop the carnage. Where are our friends at Transportation Alternatives?

dancesonpedals said...

I'm not just type A...I like to think I personify Aye-ness

eingiltv this

Anonymous said...

And remember it's your responsibility to make sure you're not *insert any violent act here*.

Makes no fucking sense.

Arthur Fonzarelli said...

I'm type Aaaaayyyeee...

Anonymous said...

Surprisingly upbeat acoustic music for someone covering themselves in blinky lights and obviously going to a rave.

Roille Figners said...

If it [snows], take the [don't-do-shit-]bus? Pretty woosie. You commute in your undies through a heated dwelling. Whaddya, have "other people" in your life or some shit? That's a definite no-no for an artiste.

Anyway I bypassed the video at first... why didn't you tell me it was such an awesome satire? You got to call that shit out!

I WILL be registering a complaint regarding these issues, and demanding a refund.

Anywhoo that garb (and its magic ability to correct driver shittiness) is now mandatory if you're visiting a Dunkin Donuts.

Spokey said...

anon @ 2:11

The problem is that NYPD IS / HAS cracked down on motorists.

Oh, a belated welcome back to queenie. we was worried bout you.



3818 82455838

RoadQueen said...

Yeah, I was pretty miffed about the video too, until I got to the end and they specified that it was a satire.

The really sad part is, with all of the [cock] 'tips' the NYPD has been handing pedestrians and bicyclists alike, it was totally believable as a public service announcement. Because the real announcements are Just. That. Stupid.

Pokey - Thanks, dear. :) I'm ok, just been busy is all. Nice to know I'm missed when absent. XO

mikeweb said...

Riding a bicycle in New York (or many part of the U.S.) may be bad, but at least we don't have to deal with this.

Dooth said...

Great! Just Great! Now I have to text my stylist to ixnay on all the fashions she just picked out for me at the recent shows in Paris and Milan, and find me anything in day-glo.

McFly said...

Oh sure man. If you have a smaller model its pretty easy and convenient. Just take care not to get any detergent in the exit port.

Anonymous said...

SHT STRM
HVY LOAD
DUMP
Yer'ANUS

Spokey said...

I'd feel safer if I knew that was Leroy's dog in the video. If Leroy's dog approves that get up, I'm in.





3673 38998892

Name said...

Just checked some of Anna vids.

This is epic:

http://vimeo.com/70252378

Roille Figners said...

Any CT readers: Did Winter Storm Anus hit Mianus?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

@mikeweb

For sure. If I ever attempt to circumnavigate the globe you can bet I'll be using my scuba bike. Take my chances with the sharks.

JLRB said...

Snow Daze

JLRB said...

I need to get a fit kit done on my snow shovel.

BACK PAIN

Anonymous said...

Tilford doesn't let a polar vortex keep him from posting a regular installment to his blog.

commentatorbot_9734 said...

Apparently Toronto Mayor Rob Fords is trying to host a Pan-Am games and is failing.

Not only can Fords watch his own money evaporate, he has the gift of doing the same for his constituents, this time it's vanishing into the IOC.

The Olympic ideal really is watching public money disappear into a swirling vortex of corruption.

When does Toronto start burning libraries to heat City Hall?

dancesonpedals said...

Official Song of the Nutmeg State:

I left Mianus in Connecticut

Fred Nifacent said...


Bill Shatner loves the blinking lights...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtlBZx0yV_M

Comment deleted said...

Name @ 2:58, OK Anna is awesome, and I'm ashamed that I ducked as her wonderful satire whooshed over my head.

Mea culpa, Anna. You rock.

Anonymous said...

remember when this blog used to be good?

Roille Figners said...

BIEK SNOB IS GIVES HAVES BALL CANCER THAT'S WHAT I HEARD

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JLRB said...

BIKE SNOB IS A LOOSER

(If his BB is English he's a righty LOOSER on the drive side)

ouabacher said...

Hey, Snobby timed his short post perfectly. Now I have more time to read Zinn's latest report on whether my 11-23 Campymano cassette will work with my SRAM uno-dos II P90X chain!

ken e. said...

remember when seconds after a bullshit comment the poster was ripped to shreds by feral kittens?


CJ does.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:23pm,

Remember when you blew me?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Nacnud said...

32 degrees Communist (about 90 of your American acres) in Adelaide Australia today.
What's 'snow'?

Skidmark said...

Winter storm Anus's big dump is going to cause a brownout on the power grid!

What a Broken Down Podium this is said...

SNOB, Show some cajones. No double dipping on the podium. And that goes for #'s 3 & 4 today because if 1 & 2 were only 1 then 3 would be 2 and 4 would be 3. Think McFly, err, Snob, or do you need a pedestrian flier?

I've been drivin' all night, my hand's wet on the wheel said...

Truncated blog today, must be no heat in the house, so snob is down at a Duncan Donuts waiting for some hot motor vehicle action.

Steve Barner said...

Please tell me Anna Zivarts is just kidding. Please! She can't really be that stupid as to think that it's a pedestrian's responsibility to not get hit by a car, can she?

Anonymous said...

Anna Zivarts is just kidding.

leroy said...

My dog wore a blinky outfit just like Ms. Zivarts' to Electric Zoo last summer. You can't be too careful. So I guess the answer to Mr. Spokey's question is my dog approves.

McFly said...

Anna's artisinal Rapha water bottle detergent is 360 degrees of pure unadulterated awessome.

Anonymous said...

These NYC cops are simple minded. Or one-track minded. To much cars and to much car thinking. The police should go walking and cycling in stead of driving their cars. Makes them meet the people on the street and makes them see the other (non safe) side of traffic.

Anonymous said...

@"I've been drivin' all night, my hand's wet on the wheel"

Yesterday I saw them playing Radar Love live. Golden Earing still rocks!

Curious and horny said...

Anna is pretty hot but she has that really short hair that always makes you wonder if thats what it feels like boning a dude.

jodphoto said...

Hey Snob,

Why do you have pictures of Rip Torn all over your blog?