Friday, January 24, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

[Pssst!  Hold onto your sandals!  Special Rivendell promo for readers of this blog, click on their new ad over there in the right hand margin!]

It's snowy and cold outside and the riding totally blows, but I am super duper psyched and stoked and pumped about the new Specialized Super Expert Evo Crux Crux Evo Crux Red Di2 Super Disc Expert Evo!


As the popularity of gravel racing increases, so too does the number of companies introducing gravel road bikes or, as is the case with Specialized, creating gravel versions of an existing cyclocross bike. The latest gravel-centric bike from Specialized is the US$7,000 CruX Expert EVO Di2 (UK pricing and availability TBA.)

That's right, for only $7,000, the company that loves to sue the fuck out of people for no reason has managed to deliver a bicycle that can be ridden on gravel surfaces, which were heretofore totally un-navigable by bicycle.

So what makes this cyclocross bike not a cyclocross bike but a gravel-specific bike?  Well, it has one more set of water bottle bosses than a cyclocross bike (or it has three more if your cyclocross bike is so cool that it doesn't have any):

The new CruX Expert EVO Di2 builds on the general concept of a gravel racer through the addition of a third set of water bottle bosses underneath the downtube and a build kit focused on longer rides over roads less traveled.

Oh, and it also has a gravel-specific build kit, which means basically this thing:


And also also, it was designed with input from the successful gravel racer who says that cyclocross bikes and gravel bikes are basically the same thing:


In other words, we've reached a point in the over-refinement of the bicycle at which the only discernible difference between them is the amount of tiny holes they have in their frames--so basically, choosing a bicycle is now like sexing a kitten.

By the way, that little plastic gas canister hutch is called the "SWAT," so expect Specialized to start suing law enforcement agencies all over the country:


As well as various manufacturers of analog household pest control devices:


(The makers of this S-Works Roubaix Fly Swatter are in big, big trouble.)

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, STUDY the item, THINK, and then CLICK on your answer.  (But don't forget to TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK.)  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see a cyclist hitting a badger.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and bunny-hop those badgers.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) Fill In The Blank:

"This past week the region was buffeted by Winter Storm _____."

--Janus
--Janice
--Anus
--Scranus






(You'd think it would be the doping, but you'd be wrong.)

2) Professional cycling isn't more popular in the United States because Americans are very uncomfortable with:

--Bicycles
--Guttural tongues
--Men sensually rubbing other men to gentle flute accompaniment
--All of the above






(Danilo Di Luca after a post-race massage.)

3) Banned cyclist Danilo Di Luca says which percentage of riders in the Giro D'Italia were doping?

--10%
--90%
--100%
--110%





(Hey, he's walking here.)

4) New York City Mayor Bill Di Blasio set his long-awaited "Vision Zero" program in motion with a:

--Lavish ceremony featuring guest speaker David Byrne, who does not own a car
--Push in Albany for congestion pricing
--Commitment to lower the citywide speed limit to 20mph
--Pedestrian ticket blitz and beatdown







(Fugu too, Assos.)

5) How much for these Assos "fuguSocks?"

--$16.95
--$26.95
--$43.95
--$61.95






(Paul Budnitz: the real-life Karl Farbman.)

6) Old Man Budnitz is hawking a fat bike now.

--True
--False







7) Robs Fords's transition from politics to stand-up comedy appears to be right on track.

--True
--False




***Special You-Know-You-Want-This-Jan-Ullrich-Lego-Set-Themed Video***




81 comments:

Serial Retrogrouch said...

yes!

jayteepee said...

podium?

mikeweb said...

Cold.

BoaB said...

Podium?

DB said...

Here.

BoaB said...

Nope

flyover bc said...

top ten

babble on said...

Happy Friiiiiiiday!!

Anonymous said...

TOP TEN IN YOUR BUTTHOLE

Marcel Da Chump said...

Podium crux.

DB said...

That's one good looking podium.

dancesonpedals said...

URETHRA!

(That's so 1/23)

DB said...

Snob:
Watched a YouTube of a Rutgers prof talking about the polar vortex dropping into our neighborhoods and how it's going to continue to happen due to the warming of the arctic waters.
Time for enclosed snow bikes with heaters and SiriusXM and cup holders.

ken e. said...

missed out on the magic 13...

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Sexting a kitten??? Is that what you call it?

Bicycle Cycling Eckspurt said...

Wow. $62 dollars for a pair of socks. Do they cum with a Swiss-made pocket pussy that you can secret away in your Kuku Penthouse. Because I usually like to get a little something in return if I am going to spend that kind of money on something stupid.


itystep new

Spokey said...

100%

Yep. First time I've gotten a perfect quiz score. Wahoo speed!

A great compensation for wacking off the driver's mirror this morning backing out of the garage.

My '02 comotion has 3 water cages. I'm crying at the realization that I've wasted a dozen years that I could have been riding on gravel.

Oh, and the Jan Ullrich video is an obvious fake. Everyone knows a pink bike must have a basket on front and multi-colored streamers coming out from the handlebar grips.



half ivitytq

Bryan said...

@ DB: He had that! Just a few mods (fatter tires, perhaps) and this would be ready for snow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0DRgEvRnDE
Could probably even throw a small engine in there....

Chad said...

I was really expecting to badger to attack from the darkness...

babble on said...

I nearly hit a mama raccoon yesterday when I was rubber necking at her little baby crossing the road in front of me. I got up close and personal with a coyote, too. Big day for critters yesterday, but that's why I ride at stoooopid o'clock. Rather encounter critters than cars...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I finished 30 minutes ahead of Dan Hughes in the Dirty Kanza last year on my Surly Cross-Check. Big deal? Yes it was. Of course I only road the 110 mile half-pint, and he road the full 203 miles.

Billy said...

I'm in awe of the guy who can talk about a lego set that small for 5 minutes.

JLRB said...

FUGU! If I wanna spend $62 on socks I will - now get back int eh kitchen and cook me my chicken pot pie

JLRB said...

Babble - Was the coyote carrying an Acme bag?

McFly said...

I'm sorry the correct answer is Moops. The MOOPS invaded Spain in the 8th century.

JLRB said...

'cause Acme

RB1 said...

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin badgers.

crosspalms said...

For $7000 they should call it a grovel bike.

Flyover bc said...

That's not an analog pest control device. It's an analog switch switch to reach binary states (dead, not dead).

Yeah Cleveland! said...

I want to know what's the "special place" the Lego guy is putting his dark pink bicycle and rider in.

Herschel Raney said...

While stopped in traffic this morning my vehicle thermometer read 9 degrees Merican. I tapped on it. And then looked left to see a cyclist go by me wearing shorts and nothing on his head. Not even a panty hose. I thought, "I am just a pussy." But no, I came to my senses. That guy was batshit.

Happy winter riding.

thegock said...

COLD ANUS

Comment deleted said...

People (and I include myself in this category because I are one) make the funniest noises when they realize that they are about to kiss the pavement.

Wooouulllarrgh!

Matt said...

How is the $7,000 Budnitz a cantilever frame? It looks like triangles to me. I wonder if he went with belt drive hoping to minimize the creaks and squeaks.

mikeweb said...

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

babble on said...

JLRB - no sign of a bag, but man it was some kind of scruffy.

Mr Raney - what do you mean, not even a panty hose? Am I missing something important when it comes to winter weather warming of the head?

God knows I do miss things... happens all of the time cause I'm definitely a dope.

Roille Figners said...

I'm not saying I got a wrong answer on the quiz or anything but once you hit the badger and it scampers off, the fucking video's over. Edit that shit!

Call Paul's Boutique, axe for (J)anus. That's Paul's Boutique out there in Brooklyn.


The best Serbian cyclist is

pipa cksksu

RoadQueen said...

Congrats and podio kisses to S. Grouch, jayteepee and mikeweb!

babble on said...

Wow. Blogger is seriously buggy today.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...Mr. Raney, I walked out of the house today, and not a min later, icicles starting forming on my beard (i don't own a car that tells me the exterior temps), i look up, and there's a guy on a road bike without gloves, with loafers and no socks, and nothing on his head, not even a thong. i thought i was a wuss, but no, he was just batshit.

...Ms. Queen, thank you.

...Ms. Babbs, so buggy that i podioed. hey, btw, do you always wear a helment when you are sending a biscuit?

Anonymous said...

Friend of mine hit a deer once. Said it was like running into a fur covered brick wall.

Dooth said...

So thoughtful of Specialized to provide a whip-its stash.

Herschel Raney said...

Serial: I think beards only form icicles if you are prone to drooling or your camelback is leaking.

Babbs: Indeed, mikeweb knew that only in Cohen Brothers world do men wear panties on their heads and leave diapers in the street.

I once had a deer run along side me while on my bike in a confused panic. The deer not me. Otherwise I have missed Raccoons, Opossums, and feral cats.

mikeweb said...

Walked out of my house today and right after feeling my own exhaled breath form ice on my mustache, I saw a cyclist in a tri-dork speedo and crop-top. He also had no socks and had a personal size A/C unit strapped to his back with the output blasting cold air at his bare face.

I thought to myself how wimpy I am, but then decided that rider was cray-cray.

Buffalo Bill said...

Pink bikes are what red bikes look like when they approach warp won.

mikeweb said...

I find it amusing that there are two very different bike-cycles mentioned in today's post, each of which is idiotic in it's own way, yet they both cost $7k.

That must be the exact figure, derived through extensive economic research, at which fools can be seperated from their money in the largest aggregate number.

Buffalo Bill said...

Just missed a porcupine once in similar conditions. Overall, I think I'd probably prefer the badger.

JB said...

Speaking of sexing a kitten, have you seen this?
The Angry Singlespeeder: The Paradox of Choice

JB said...

Anon @ 1:12 = comment of the day.

Spokey said...

mikeweb;

no, the actuaries figure out the highest profit. That may not be the largest number. Say 1,000 freds will part with $7001 but 100,000 will part with $7000. So Specialized prices at $7,000.

I hear Old Man Budnitz uses the same data and is pricing his at $7,002.

McFly said...

Yo Babs I read an article today that said hot women in their 40s are the only ones that can pull off wearing fire engine red lipstick.

So you got that going for you. Which is nice.

mikeweb said...

Spokey,

That's sort of what I was getting at: price x number of units.

Great minds...

Dianne Gilleece said...

Don't even get me started on Assos! Surprised there wasn't a topless woman "modelling" those socks.

Euro Spondee said...

Yeah Cleveland! said...Sexting a kitten??? Is that what you call it?

That's got to be what was causing all the problems on Blogger (and Gmail too): sexting kittens on Youtoob - could it get any more squeee?
---
I went out on my bike yesterday, with shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. But it was 65 degrees out here in sunny Cali, so not at all crazy.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sorry I'm late. Was at the store stocking up on steaks and beer for the blizzard coming.

Nice quiz Wildcat. Thanks.


Grouch on the podio -Congrats!

"Time for enclosed snow bikes with heaters and SiriusXM and cup holders." -Make mine recumbent please.

GOOOOOAAAAALL!!! BABBLE SCORES!

Fugu too, Assos.

crosspalms said...

Thanks for the heads-up, Snob. I'll stock up on those crabon forks...

JLRB said...

McFly - I never figured you for a glam mag reader? (not that there's anything wrong ...)

Babs - What herb kicked your butt? Glad you are back spinning your wheels

Rivendell and crabon? If you can catch a fork you can catch a fancy ass hatchet

Andy Danger said...

Oops! I think that what I really need to add to the stable of n+1 bikes is an ADJENTURE bike. nosrsly, sometimes I want to ride my bike to a bar three towns away, but it might involve fording a stream, but most of it will be on roads, but not all gravel roads. I need the Raleigh Tampaxland2.

babble on said...

rct - :D

mcfly - cheers!

kisses galore to a charming trio on the podio... you were hot off the start today, gentlemen

rue. I rue the day I drank rue tea

hey! I topped 90 km/hr on yesterday's ride... sweet! that qualifies as woo hoo :D

Roille Figners said...

I went out in a shorts & t-shirt this morning and all these bundled-up people were like, looking at me funny. WHAT?

babble on said...

LOL! It's ok, honey. They're just staring cause you're cray cray.

McFly said...

It was a link on the facing book by Andy Roony posted by a HAWT 40 year old. I commented by saying WOULDN'T ANDY ROONY DATING A 40 YEAR OLD BE LIKE ME DATING AN 18 YEAR OLD?

Anonymous said...

my Speshulized features TWAT technology:

TubeWaterAirTools

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 5:20

What a pussy

Roille Figners said...

Today it was so shitty out, I had to wear my Water Or Overhead Shower Inhibiting Exoskeleton (W.O.O.S.I.E.)


LaKwanda won't, but

tonetta may

Gripsgirl said...

I'm getting better at the quizzes bitches! I LOVE this blog :)

Make that a double said...

Babble, Babble, raccoons, coyotes, tea, bike crashes and Rob Ford is a Canadian. It's Friday, how about just staying in the abode and kicking back with a rum.

Meat said...

There is nothing cuter than a temporary red lipstick kiss tattoo. Around the base of my shank.

CycloXdresser said...

Waaait a minute McFly. I've been told that I can pull off wearing fire engine red lipstick to.

CycloXdresser said...

Ummm. I mean pull off as in being able to wear it.

Gay Dar said...

Hmmm... It seems that Meat has met CycoX and was lapped by him a few times before finally being beaten.

DB said...

Okay.
Quick Draw is the funniest show on TV.
Cold night, pizza and hulu.

A boy named Sue said...

Thanks Specialized, for fucking the Sue out of me.

McFly said...

Gunna be 55 of the Murkan degrees in old money tomorrow and this guy is hitting the dirt trails that ramble along the creeks of LBL for some much needed therapy. Been too cold too long dammit.

leroy said...

Stay warm all!

DB said...

End of Times weather.
Watching Season One of Sherlock with wine and pizza.
Mikeweb: my daughter loves the jewelry. You have a talented lady friend. See you in July. Pint at the Biergarten.

McFly said...

Mother Earth she was-a-thawin' and there was an unmanageable layer of slime on the trail. So we hit the gravel path ON REGULAR MTB's AND IT WAS A RISKY MOVE BUT WE SOMEHOW SURVIVED AND ACTUALLY HAD FUN. Day 48, Now we must prepare for another Polar Blast.......I have still yet to unhinge the "trainer".....

mikeweb said...

DB,

Glad to hear it! And yes you are correct.

That's a definite on the beer.

JLRB said...

Hold on to your sundials ... It is still cold and I am still a pussy

Does Anybody Know What Time It is said...

12:13 on a moanday and no post. Talk about Banker's Hours.

Anonymous said...


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