Wednesday, December 4, 2013

You've got a little Wednesday on your face. No, no, over there...yeah, you got it.

It's Wednesday!  Ready for a fun fact?  Over a quarter of the pedestrians who get hit by cars in New York City are crossing with the light:


In 2012, 26.9 percent of pedestrian-involved crashes took place when the pedestrian was crossing the street with the signal. 23.6 percent occurred when the pedestrian was crossing with no signal (or on the sidewalk), and 20.4 percent occurred when the pedestrian was crossing against the signal. This is consistent with another set of findings, which show that 36 percent of crashes are caused by driver inattention. The next most common cause is pedestrian error/confusion, though at 21.5 percent, it's a distant second.

This reinforces my increasingly strong belief that it's actually safer to jaywalk.  See, when you're in a crosswalk you're relying on drivers (yes, fine, and cyclists too) to stop at the red light, which they often don't do.  However, when you're jaywalking, at least you know nobody's going to be stopping, and if they do happen to stop for you it's just a bonus.

Basically, trusting these fuckers to do what they're supposed to is only going to get you in trouble.

Yes, making your own rules is the only sensible option for the thinking pedestrian and cyclist, because we live in what back in the '80s used to be called a "bullshit society."  Consider the Metro-North derailment:

It's a terrible tragedy.  Four people are dead, and pretty much every local, state, and federal agency has been brought to bear on it--and rightly so.  They've analyzed data from the train's "black box."  They've obtained the driver's cellphone records.  It's been front page news for days.

All of this is as it should be.

What's not as it should be is that "dazed" drivers traveling at "excessive speed" kill people in this city pretty much every day, and most of them get little more than a ticket.  In fact, a week in which "only" four people get killed by cars in this town is actually pretty good.  So why not black box and cellphone subpoena those fuckers?  Well, it's because your life is important if you're riding a train or a plane, but if you're run down on the sidewalk by some asshole in a hurry to get to a "Black Friday" sale nobody gives a shit--which, incidentally, is also why you're allowed to take a nap in your idling BMW in front of a Citi Bike rack:


But if you ride one of those Citi Bikes on the sidewalk you'll get a criminal court summons.

Okay, enough death.  Let's talk about marketing!  This very morning, I was the recipient of a marketing email for a "hoodie:"


Remember when a "hoodie" was just a sweatshirt with a hood on it?  Not anymore!  Now it's a highly technical piece of apparel only marginally less complicated and expensive than a parachute:

The Zurich
AP Series // Merino Softshell Hoodie

The Zurich soft-shell hoodie combines a 4-way stretch nylon shell with a soft Merino wool lining. The outer-shell layer is constructed using Swiss-made Schoeller®-Dryskin fabric with a durable water repellent treatment. This durable 4-way stretch nylon fabric is engineered to provide breathability and moisture management in addition to wind and water repellency. The soft Merino wool lining naturally regulates body temperature, resists odor, provides moisture management, and stretches with your body.

The Zurich is a utilitarian garment ideal for high activity that features single welt hand-warmer pockets, rear zippered pocket, and a semi-fitted hood.

Made in San Francisco, California.

That's why it boasts a price tag approaching $400:


Look, I don't know.  I probably shouldn't talk.  I have an overly fancy bike or two.  I live in New York City in a $30 million mansion that would only cost $3 million elsewhere.  I've been known to quaff an artisanal cocktail or nine and slurp down some overpriced oysters by the dozen.  But to me, the "hoodie" was always one of those safe havens where you saved money--a sawbuck or three at the Army Navy store and you're set.  Seems to me that if you want a "utilitarian garment" you could easily get one for a tenth of the price.

And who even ever uses the hood on a "hoodie" anyway when they're riding a bike?

Nobody, that's who.

Then again, I'm the asshole in the greasy cotton sweatshirt with the frayed sleeves sucking down gimlets and oysters, so there you go.  But it's only because I live where I do.  If I lived in San Francisco the equation would be reversed, and I could just wear a $400 sweatshirt and look great eating delicious $5 "Epic® Burritos™."

Actually, as I typed that last paragraph, I thought for a moment I'd seized upon some vital understanding of the fundamental difference between the East Coast and the West Coast, but I lost it almost immediately.

Ah, fuck it™.

I think what it really berls down to for me though is that I'm uncomfortable with haute "bike bro" fashion: the ultra high-end hoodie; the shants; the tattoos of stars and slogans in delicate cursive...  These are clothes for people who are into audio and photography equipment, the cycling equivalent of what used to be called "metrosexuals."  (You might call them "techiesexuals.")  I do have a backpack from the aforementioned hoodie company though, and I think it's this one:


They didn't give it to me or anything like that, I walked right into a store and bought it before one of my "BRA" tours.  It's great, too--capacious and durable and all the other stuff a bag is supposed to be--except for the fact it has actual "blind spots" when you look over your shoulder:


I had no idea it was even possible for a bag to have blind spots (or at least I'd never encountered it) but evidently it's a "thing" and my bag has them.  Who knew?

As I typed that last paragraph, I felt like I was on the cusp of some vital understanding of the nature of consumerism and materialism and the quest for freedom from attachments and all that, but I lost it again almost immediately.

Ah, fuck it™.

I guess I need some sort of hip artisanal urbanist utilitarian high-activity helment mirror--or else this:


This is a great tool for the recumbent rider who wants to monitor his beard for lice--and speaking of lice, a reader forwarded me this recently:

OLD, Trek 500, 55cm. Kept by my bed, and it got infested with bed bugs and lice. Even after storing it outside, cannot get rid of them. When I ride, they tend to crawl out of seatpost and right into by rear but crack. Also in the handlebars, and I'm pretty sure in every other tube. Also I have warts, so you'll probably want to change the bar tape.

Honestly, who hasn't been there?  I mean, right?  Right?!?

At least the bed bugs crawled into his rear "but" crack and not the front one.

Speaking of marketing emails, I received an email from Velo Orange offering me the opportunity to try their new "Crazy Bars:"


I declined on the basis that they're simply too crazy for me.  Actually, they make my head hurt--that cockpit looks like a fixie with bullhorns humping a three-speed.  However, they may not be too crazy for you or somebody you know, and if you like to alternate between sitting bolt upright and time-trialling then these should be on the top of your holiday wish list.

Meanwhile, remember how yesterday I mentioned Jan Ullrich is now the embodiment of success?


Well, this was only reaffirmed by the revelation that his erstwhile arch-nemesis has been reduced to cruising for (or being cruised by) triathletes:


“I said ‘I will race you, mate.’ I don’t even care if there are no accolades. No one around. I just want to race you. Just two old blokes. No excuses,’” McCormack said. “Lance has done some horrible things and some amazing things athletically, but he is still a competitor and I have always been inspired by racing competitors.

“He’s a prickly personality and I would love to go around and have a crack at him.”

Why does everything Australians say sound obscene?  Usually if I let someone go around and have a crack at me they've at least bought me a drink first.

A gimlet and a dozen ersters and I'm anybody's.

Lastly, a Tweeterer tweeted me this picture of a Fred on a pennyfarthing towing a penguin in a trailer:


You've got to hand it to G--gle: they know how to use an amusing image to temper the horrifyingly Orwellian degree to which they see absolutely everything you do.

126 comments:

Anonymous said...

PODIUM!

Freddy Murcks said...

Hey, ladies.

Anonymous said...

love it

Anonymous said...

Yes!

Villedo Valle said...

Top Ten!!!!!

RoadQueen said...

Top Ten!!!

babble on said...

Gidday peeps!

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Tep ton, where I belong. Leroy's dog is inspiring us all.

fhfr436 said...

Scranus.

wishiwasmerckx said...

And rounding out the top 10...

One Girl, Two Wheels said...

Outside top 10 again... one day...

trama said...

"However, when you're jaywalking, at least you know nobody's going to be stopping, and if they do happen to stop for you it's just a bonus. "

This is eggsackly what I try to impress upon people far too often. It also explains how the rest of the world gets by. I rode a motorbike around in parts of Asia for a good while and the cows and elephants were just like the truck drivers with red eyes and red teeth; trust no one and you never get burned.

theEel said...

weDNeSdAY!

P. Bateman said...

hell yeah. top 20. man, my training is finally paying off.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Top 20 is fine by me.

RoadQueen said...

Is that a Platypus in the Penguin trailer being pulled by the Penny farthing?!

Ouch. I think I just pulled my P...

Anonymous said...

"really berls down" what a cagger does to you when you jay-walk.

Roille Figners said...

You've got some suppachew on your shoulder.

...

Not much, whatsuppaCHEW?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Find those thoughts!

Oysterswallow said...

Gimlets are like bike wheels, one's too few, three's too many.

BagSnob said...

I bought one of those bags some time ago, but felt something wasn't right. When I set out to ride with it the first time, it only took a half a block for the blind spot alarm to go off. I turned around and stuffed my stuff into my trusty old Dana backpack and set off to work. Returned the blind spot bag.

Roille Figners said...

I blame REI and North Face for bringing "technical clothing" into the mainstream. (As a bullshit marketing concept, not an actual thing.)

douchebagsayswhat

fake_british_accent said...

So, what ur saying snobby is traffic signals in NYC are not a predictor of whether or not a pedestrian gets hit by a car in a designated crosswalk.

The logical conclusion for any patriotic driver is to fund pedestrian tunnels for crossing streets and get rid of crosswalks. Since this is UH-meh-rik-uh you'll have to pay for the privilege to use the pedestrian tunnels.

Pedestrian tunnel revenue will go to making driving on NYC streets faster. Get those average speeds up to 65Kmh like a proper city.

babble on said...

A story broke bright and early Monday morning about the differences between men and women with respect to dangerous driving. Turns out that over here men are by far the worst drivers, racking up most of the speeding, distracted driving, drunk driving and dangerous driving offences, and in fact causing by far the most incidences of bodily harm.

THAT got tongues wagging...

Re: the train driver: it's a driver's habit of speeding which is so dangerous. Still, it sounds as though he had a minor seizure.

Oh snobbersweetiesunshine...? :D

If they just so happen to send you that hoodie, I will take it off your hands, mmmmmkay? Er... and I'm reluctant to admit it, but if I have to look boardroom ready on the other side of the trip, I will tie my hair back, put the helmet on, and pull a hood over the whole thing to keep my hair sleek and shiny. Works a charm.

babble on said...

Lol! I meant in the rain... I sometimes wear a hood over my helmet if it's raining! I speak dork.

Roille Figners said...

This train guy... it's like he fell asleep, WHILE ACCELERATING. At least if a driver falls asleep his foot lets up on the gas and he is eventually slowed to a stop by the energy-absorptive capacity of several soft human bodies and/or vertically-compliant Pegoretti-sniffed frames.

Herschel Raney said...

Not anonymous said:

You know, I have money. But spending 400 bucks on a light jacket of any kind is hives inducing.

I went back to look at Snob's bike pic, the one that stirred up the anonymorons yesterday. And enlarging the downed bike pic I could see the word 'inbred' on the bike. Emblazoned right on there. And my first thought was, holy shit, does mine have that? And does www.on-one.co.uk do DNA testing before they sell them? Of course, at the site I see they actually call their bike an inbred. Those British.

I learn something every blog I guess. And I know for sure I will never ride a bike in NYC. Or London. Hell, after one look from the roadside I swore I would never even drive in London. Kudos to those who do. They have larger balls than I ever will.

3G said...

BUTT LICE

McFly said...

The Zurich....I like that name. I bet Yawn uLLLLLLrick has one.

Anonymous said...

Since this is UH-meh-rik-uh you'll have to pay for the privilege to use the pedestrian tunnels. or cross "for free" on the deadly streets of NYC.

That will teach you not to be a despicable liberul socialist freeloader.

USA! USA! USA! USA!

Robot stack failure

Andrew Rockman said...

I agree 100% with your POV on how the train accident is MAJOR and when a car kills someone it's nothing. I thought the same thing.

The engineer may face criminal charges, will loose his job, and etc and it was a sad mistake by someone with a flawless work record. Not discounting the pain he has caused, I actually feel bad for the guy based on what I've read about him.

The MF cab driver that severed the poor tourist's leg is back to work and it was the result of an intentional act of aggression on the part of someone with numerous prior performance issues.

This does not make any sense.

Ruck James said...

I just caught the dreaded beard lice problem from the lone wolf's mane.

Ah, fuck it.

BikeSnobNYC said...

fake_british_accent,

Subway stations are effectively pedestrian tunnels, I'm guessing it will only be a matter of time before they pass a law requiring us to use them to cross the street.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Andrew Rockman,

Exactly!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Comment deleted said...

Who rides a bike wearing a hoodie? Only every UCD student. But it works well for their type of riding: ears plugged with iBuds, hands off the handlebars (often banging out a text), with an insouciant expression that says "I am way too cool to give a shit."

Y'see, the hoodie doesn't get in the way of shoulder checks that never happen. A shoulder check would, after all, indicate a level of concern for others that is *extremely* uncool.

Anonymous said...

Crumbsuckers? You need a new music supervisor.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks, I already have a beard checker though.

Anonymous said...

400 bucks on a light jacket of any kind is hives inducing.

You'd think, but it's not. There is a group of consumers who would not think twice about it.

"I'm really privileged, but not quite shoving it in your face until I get out of my bullet-proof range rover at Whole Foods with my nanny, child, personal assitant and personal security."

Lots of those people on the West Coast. Lots. They will sell out.

Hegnawed Hertitsov said...

Fortieth™

Yarpo said...

I just played Bullshit Society and now the gawddamn cats won't come out from under the bed, and THEY HAVE CHORES TO DO, Snob!

Yeah. Thanks a heap!

Um, and Scranus Xanthode Twatwaffles.

crosspalms said...

In Chicago news, most drivers speed. And the answer seems to be, let's raise the speed limit. Next: If drivers are going to drive on the sidewalk anyway, maybe....

Herschel Raney said...

I just remember the signs in Oregon that said "DUI forfeits vehicle" meaning in my mind you get in the cop car after blowing in the little thingey and you never see your car again.

"Driving with biker on hood" should at least result in permanent loss of Taxi license, if not citizenship. We start stripping some licenses and citizenships, we might get some attention.

DB said...

I read that, too, Crosspalms.
In my travels to Chicago, the closer you get to the lake, the faster everyone is going.

DB said...

Oh...
Sweet hoodie.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Chicago...
A Tale of Two Cities

Chicago, IL
Houston, TX

Population
2.7 million
2.15 million

Median HH Income
$38,600
$37,000

% African-American
38.9%
24%

% Hispanic
29.9%
44%

% Asian
5.5%
6%

% Non-Hispanic White
28.7%
26%


Pretty similar until you compare the following:

Chicago, IL
Houston, TX

Concealed Carry gun law
no
yes

# of Gun Stores
0
184 - Dedicated gun stores plus 1500 - legal places to buy guns- Walmart, K-mart, sporting goods, etc.

Homicides, 2012
1,806
207

Homicides per 100K
38.4
9.6

Avg. January high temperature (F)
31
63


Conclusion: Cold weather causes murder.


Herschel Raney said...

Crosspalms:

Linked story on that Chicago page showed the dead surgeon and professor who drove around the lights and warning gates on the railroad track to die.

And the question on the tollway is, if you raise the speed to 70 do they all go 81 then?

And fuck that robot test.

mikeweb said...

Midtown people - don't forget to come to 114 W. 47th and donate some blood.

I don't need it, but many sick people do. Well, I AM sick, but not physically so...

balls™ said...

Top-50 reach around.

Roille Figners said...

Problem is, they used the "everybody's doing it anyway" argument for legalizing weed and the being of gay. In other words it's the will of the majority. "Yeah, democracy ain't so fun when it fucks you, huh?” --that guy's dad

McFly said...

Don't be so hard on death Wildcat. It's the poor man's doctor.

Anonymous said...

Does "4-way stretch" mean it also stretches through time?

Roille Figners said...

mikeweb - for you buddy I would, but I'm too far away.

But we'll feel no pain
at the foot of Kane
and snort cocaine
in a big ol' crane
and we'll mispronounce
Motobecane
on the big Rock Candy Mountain

mikeweb said...

Yeah, the reason that I don't personally wear a hood when I ride no matter how cold or rainy it is, is because it makes it almost impossible to see behind you, unless you happen to have rear view mirrors of some kind. And since I have a completely rational fear of being run off the road by large fast running vampire joggers, mirrors are totally useless, of course.

balls™ said...

I tried to go back and read yesterday's very obnoxious comments about WCRM's bike, written by the poorly informed anonymous commentators. Wow. I couldn't make it through them all. What a load of crap.

I do have a question though... why would I want to lower my seat post during a ride? My seat height is pretty dialed in by now, I see no reason to change it during a ride unless my bike doesn't actually fit me. Am I missing something?


scranus.

DB said...

I second that, Mikeweb. Good on you.
If I weren't a thousand miles away from midtown, I'd be there.

Anonymous said...

@ Andrew Rockman 1:25 and BSNYC,

Lets not forget that railroads and airliners are typically multi-billion dollar corporations. Trains and planes are expensive pieces of equipment. These corporations wanna know what happened to their expensive stuff so they can make a proper insurance claim on it, and when youre a multi-billion dollar corporation, you can get all the attention (news media/government organizations, etc) that you want.

This compared to when a petty serf like you or i get taken out by a privately owned suv, well, we hold up traffic while our ambulance loads us up, and beyond the minor inconvenience we just arent worth ($) mentioning...

Mr Plow said...

Those crazy bars would be great if you added some ergon grips.

Herschel Raney said...

I don't ride without a mirror. That is taking your life in your hands out here. Plus I need to see if I am gaining or loosing ground to the death-dealing hounds that are in pursuit.

I do have to occasionally wear one of those balaclava warming hoods in the cold (I know, I know: pussy). My mirror works fine around it. I would be paranoid as shit with no mirror and that thing on my head though.

Robot word: lowsort (top five)

mikeweb said...

RF,

That was outstanding! When someone finally makes a Coen bros. homage film named 'O Rider, Where Art Thou', you can take T-Bone's place.

babble on said...

Have you really tried it? Cause I have to crane my neck a little farther, but I still shoulder check and see what's behind me.

Schisthead said...

Balls: My reasoning is that going downhill and getting crazy is more easily enjoyed with a lot of bumps and hops if you are reasonably certain the saddle will not kick your ass (literally) if you fuck up.

Not sure if Mr. Snob has any Fred "Woo hoo hoo" speed dirt downhills that such an adjustment would be appropriate, if he does he's probably being smart not mentioning it to anyone on here.

Anonymous said...

I once was google street viewing the Portland Brewery district and the Google car had caught some dude trackstanding.

db said...

@balls: Lowering the seat lowers your center of gravity, which can be advantageous during a steep, technical descent.

Most of us don't bother with the seat height, but slow down and ride with a little less abandon.

The rest of us wave our dicks around in blog comment sections.

Dooth said...

So that's what success looks like...a shit-eating grin?
Makes failure much more appealing.

Anonymous said...

re: the dropper post

I determined a few years ago that if I need to lower the saddle on my mountaining bicycle to ride down a "techi-nar-nar drop", I'm getting off the bike and walking.

Yes, I'm a chickenshitcandyass™

Super Mario Cipo said...

That byike from Tuesday's post, the one with like 32/30 gear ratios on the low end and 32/11 on the high end, is really some weak geriatric gear shit.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Schisthead,

I certainly encounter situations now and again in which lowering the saddle would make it easier to get my weight behind it to negotiate a tricky section.

However, while I begrudge no rider his or her techy bits, I personally prefer to keep my bikes simple and adjust my riding style accordingly, and not the other way around. Otherwise, you go crazy with stuff. First it's suspension, then a dropper seatpost, then what? Telescoping bars? Retractable pedals? Wheels that change diameter based on terrain?

So given the 99% of the time my saddle is in the perfect position, I can deal with the 1% of the time when maybe it could be a little lower.

I like a bike that stays the same the whole time you ride it.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Etherhuffer said...

So much complaining about our culture of death. I mean, we also pay public money for stadiums so that rich team owners and rich players can have a place to do their business. Its all cultural. We like death, we like bread and circuses, and we like having no health care.

Americans seem to have settled into preferring not greener grass, but instead just making everyone else have grass as brown as theirs. What is wrong with us?

Anonymous said...

For the love of god wildcat, please tell me it's a gin gimlet and not a vodka gimlet. Vodka is only acceptable for supermodels and as handsome as you may be, you are no supermodel. A better drink to go with your oysters: 2 parts gin, 1/2 part dry vermouth, 1/2 part sweet vermouth. Stir and enjoy either up or on the rocks. Sort of like the bastard child of a Martini and a Martinez, I call it the Riverside but I'm sure it has another name. Trust me on this one wildcat.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:55pm,

I'm not crazy about gin.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

trama said...

@db
re: lowering center of gravity
Retarded.


Try putting a little weight on those pedals and you won't crash so much. You are welcome.

Schisthead said...

For me, if I have my seat at an optimal 'climbing' height, any bumps over a few inches are pretty hard to unweight over without a little more clearance, or as mentioned, to get behind the seat.

If waving my dick in the wind is what I'm doing if I ride the way I want, fine. Ween has the perfect theme song. I'd still be happy to ride/walk with you anytime, DB. ;)

ge said...

Bed Bug Bike is the funniest CL ad I've seen in like forever! Awesome! I'm suddenly concerned about the BBB components on my tour bike though.

Anonymous said...

The good thing about gin is that it makes you crazy for gin and then eventually it just makes you crazy.

Herschel Raney said...

If my best option for going down a mad dick-waving rocky hill ride is to ride behind the seat so my melon sized balls can rattle either side of all those raging mountain bike tire dimples, well, I ain't going.

mikeweb said...

Back when I used to do more Mt-eering type bike cycling, I didn't use a dropper seat, but when doing super steep descent sections, I would do the 'slide way back' method where the nose of the saddle is about where your belly button is. I started feeling guilty that I wasn't taking my saddle out for dinner and a movie before doing that to it though...

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Anon 1:51 --

My dog informs me that:

The 2012 population of Metro Chicago was 9.5 million and there were 532 homicides.

The 2012 population of Metro Houston 2012 was 6.2 million and there were 216 homicides.

He thinks that in populations that size the difference between .0056% and .0035% homicide rates cannot be attrributed to differences in concealed carry laws.

He also notes that your comparison doesn't consider the rate that guns purchased legally in Houston are used to commit homicides elsewhere.

And my dog hasn't factored in that Texas doesn't qualify something as a homicide where the defense is "Your Honor, that boy needed killin'."

I'm just impressed my dog did the math on his paws.

hatch said...

Potatoland blight-mobile.

McFly said...

Good 'ol Babble. She wants to know who's behind her. She is so cute.

Hey balls, I found out about the "Dropper Post" the hard way. I was cruising around the gravel parking lot on a buddies just tryin it out and thought "Hmmmmmm what's this lever dPSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH THUMP SCRANUS SLAM.....son of a......"

I think it's a DH thing. The dude wore Etnies.

When he said it was about time to SEND IT OFF AND HAVE IT REBUILT I knew it was not for me.

ken e. said...

like whoo-hoo speed, the math with seat height and angle the ground is disappearing at is a matter of personal preference and location. there is no right or wrong, only the point at which you fly over the handlebars, hopefully without pedals still attached.

ENDO TIME

Roille Figners said...

Bustin' a rhyme til the endo time

babble on said...

:D silly me...

Maybe the whole hoodie/helmet thing depends on the angle of your head. I wear the hood over the helmet on the Amsterdam, but it's easy to shoulder check with it. On a road bike it might be different, but then I usually wear more fredly clothes on my Ti Baby, and I never care if my hair gets wet cause I'm too busy working up a proper sweat.

crosspalms said...

You can make a dropper seat easily by just not tightening the binder bolt enough. I did that on a century once and wondered why my knees hurt so much the last 20 miles or so. Tape on the post might have clued me in a bit sooner.

4fuxake said...

Anyone else remember the Hite-Rite ?
I used one for a minute back-in-the-day ('80s).
Much prefer the "set it and forget it" approach.

Schisthead said...

WCRM: I can empathize with preferring riding to having to fiddle with stuff.

Droppers might be fun to maintain and all, but as far as techy bits for saddle height go, I'll stick with a QR.

CommieCanuck said...

It's absolutely safer to jaywalk, it's also safer to not ride on roads with bike lanes. Bike lanes are like sticky traps for mice, they seem delicious and you want to ride in them without care, but bam, you're fucked.

CommieCanuck said...

mirrors? Don't these guys know the first rule of Italian driving?

Anonymous 1:51, eating deep dish pizza puts me in a mood to murder.

DEEP DISH

Herschel Raney said...

Commie:

I do recall that fine scene. However what is behind me is frequently faster and heavier, sometimes teenaged and text obsessed. Or in a pickup truck with a bat or an empty bottle. I like a few extra seconds before I go off road on my skinny tires.

Comment deleted said...

Yep, it's a road bike thing, Babs. The hoodie doods at UC like road bikes, esp. single speeds.

grog said...

Wednesday Recumbabe

mikeweb said...

Yes, my hood experience involved what could be called a loose hood, so when I turned my head I was looking at the inside of the hood instead of what was behind. Maybe if the hood was more snug, or cinched closed...(?)

mikeweb said...

Yes, maybe snug is better than loose...

Anonymous said...

That's what she said.

the Jimboner said...

"moisture management", yar dude!

Anonymous said...

@4fuxake

I remember the Hite-rite. For when your saddle absolutely positively has to never be in the same place twice.

dancesonpedals said...

Yo, babble-lady

Is 'shoulder check' a hockey move?

Anonymous said...

I respect your racist right to take offence at the way Australians talk, Snobby, but if you're gonna inflict these crazed bigoted outbursts on us, you could at least ensure your own use of language maintains a certain standard.

Case in point; what's "berls down to" supposed to mean?

If you can't speak proper yourself, don't mock others' use of language, racist.

Dave said...

As for me, I'm kind of contemptible in my cowardice - I use two mirrors and barely have to flick my eyes, much less turn my head. Saved my life multiple times, I am convinced.

But I save money whenever someone asks me to mix them a gin drink, by just substituting paint thinner. They don't know the difference.

Perros De Maiz said...

Thank you Leroy! Give your dog a high five for me.

Vegas said...

Ride what you got. Don't fuckin tell other people what to do with their bikes. Everyone is fuckin weird.

Also, everyone has different fuckin trails.

If you do sustained descents that are either/both steep and/or technical then dropping the seat is pleasurable. If the trail is so steep that it must be hiked when ascending, descending it would require the back of the seat to be wedged into your belly-button or sternum, lowering the seat is joyous. If you don't ride trails like that, it prob don't matter.

We have tons of trails that are all up or all down, and technical. Most guys I know ride full-susp "all-mtn" bikes and have for ages. I have friends who can actually open the qr, lift the seat up, and close the qr, all while still riding. Lately many have moved to dropper posts, esp. those who (like me) never mastered that particular feat of coordination. I've had mine for two years now and have had no probs with it and I love it. It makes me smile every time I use it, knowing that before I woulda had to stop and readjust, but now it's just an ez-pz thumb-shift. www.kssuspension.com
Sure, it may have to be rebuilt at some point, but whatever. Skis havta be re-edged, tennis rackets have to be re-strung, etc. It's part of playing the game, and if it's my idea of fun I'll spend $ on it. If it blew out every two months, that'd be diff, but if yours does you prob bought the wrong one or bought too early in the game.

But...my race bike doesn't have a dropper, and it really only has a qr cuz it's built into the frame. It's a 4" full-susp meant to be an all around "xc" bike. I've taken it on crazy downhills and as was said above, you just have to slow down and pick a better line, or yeah use the qr. But since I now have the AM bike for such bizness, the seat never never moves on that one.

JLRB said...

woo hoo hoo 100

Dazed@thewheel said...

It's all the new rage. Just wait and see. Pennyfarthing, penguin-trailer racing! All the hip kids will want in.

Birdman said...

Yo. Dazed; Anything involving penguins ain't gonna fly.

trama said...

@ Mr Vegas,

After your opener I didn't expect to see so much text.



ysuethe 1902

The Croc said...

Anon 6:59
Lighten the fuck up and throw some shrimp on the barbie, that's not a knife, your toilet swirls the wrong way

What a Croc said...

Anon 6:59
Lighten the fuck up and throw some shrimp on the barbie, that's not a knife, your toilet swirls the wrong way

BamaPhred said...

Concealed carry, open carry, ban guns. whatever. This is the fucktarded reality I deal with every day.
Every. F*****g. Day.
It's got me down. .
Killed in a drunken brawl over who's a bigger Bama fan. It's why I usually ride in black kit. Not team identifiable, but hot as blazes in summer.
But then I just ride shirtless in my Assos padded loin cloth.
How is that for a mental picture.

Anonymous said...

As feared, "Ah, fuck it." has an earlier claimant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qj7shJtutA

Maybe Google will thumb the scale in your favor, Snob.

ge said...

I'd like to counter Vegas's opening statement by saying you all should ride what I ride or you're all fucking 'tards. But I'm not going to tell you what I ride so I can maintain this air of superiority. AYHSMB

NEXT!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Gin is actually vodka with some cigarette ashes stirred in.

Also, I am unsure about this Swiss 4-way stretch foreskin fabric.

Master of the Internet said...

My work is far from done.
Dick Lewis is watching.

Anonymous said...

Stray dogs learn that it's safer to cross the street mid-block than at intersections.

ouabacher said...

Fruntt butt

Anonymous coward said...

@ anon 6:59

Was unaware "Australian" qualified as a race.

ouabacher said...

WIWM Gonna try the vodka to gin secret. Should save me a ton of money....as long as I stay out of NYC for my cig purchases.

Anonymous said...

row bike

Anonymous said...

This thing
would be funny to set up on a wind trainer

McFly said...

Ahhhhhhhh the time between post-Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas(capital "C").....Holiday Taint(Festivus Scranus)...

Anonymous said...

yeah, that's a good one.

Holy Lobster on Low said...

Though sure BS would have equated today's price of an oyster to whatever a Lobster sold for way back in the 80's. That way there would have been an uncountable number of comments posted about the Lob on High, etc, etc.

sTONEdEADLAND said...

Gin makes a man mean...


Everyone booze up and RIOT!!

Casey Jones said...

NY Times this morning on-line. Train had a warning system, except in the cab where the engineer (driver) sits. Oh sure, makes perfect sense to me. I wonder what genus thought up that system.

RoadBeardy said...

That looks like a cheap zipper for a nearly 400 dollar jacket.

Yet another anonymous dweeb said...

Don't know the difference between a race and a country...
...or between a religion and a country?
What do ya expect from folks who ride on the wrong side of the road?

Anonymous said...

Dear Motorist video: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euu2QRIuEPk"

lena chuby said...

good article keep share :)

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