Wednesday, September 11, 2013

This Just In: I'm Off AGAIN What Kind Of Lousy Blog Is This!?!

See this date?


Sorry, let me try that again.

See this date?


Goddamn it!  Piece of crap Apple computer.  Yeah, I got your "keynote" right here.  [Indicates "KuKu Pentouse."]

Okay, see this date?


Probably not, but it's Monday, September 23rd, 2013.  This date is important because, after this post, I'm not posting again until then.  Why?  Because I can't.  Why can't I?  Because none of your business.  Isn't it a ripoff that I'm taking off after just having taken off to go to Australia?  No, the blog's free, you schnorrer, so how can that be a ripoff?  Anyway, according to the blogging thingy I use this is my 1,504th post, and at something like a thousand words a post that's over a million and a half words already (or closer to half a million if you don't count the word "scranus" or its derivatives) so you have plenty of free bullshit to read in my absence.

So yeah, I'll see you again on the 23rd.

In the meantime, yesterday we had a primary erection in New York City, and the big winner was mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio--who, as it happens, was pretty much the only candidate who was unequivocally pro-bike lane and anti-people-getting-run-over.  (Even though at first he really wasn't.)  I guess that's a good thing, though I guess we'll find out if he's really able or inclined to do anything about it if he ultimately gets elected, which we don't know if he will, since there may still be a "runoff" before the general erection, and erection runoff can be extremely unpredictable.   

And the big loser, of course, was Anthony "I'm Going To Have a Bunch of Ribbon-Cuttings Tearing Out Your Fucking Bike Lanes" Weiner, who concluded his campaign by giving everyone the finger:


That guy is going to snap very soon and in a big way, and to be honest it really scares me.

Anyway, for now it's just more of the same as far as bikes are concerned:

The driver rolled down his window and called her a, “Stupid bitch!” My friend, who was understandably angry, responded by smearing some of her blood on his windshield. The driver then stormed of out his car and punched her in the face. Not once, but twice.

His license plate number was GRC1130, and it was handed over to the police.

But that was more than a week ago, and the NYPD still hasn’t done anything. And that’s the reason why I’m posting this…

Disgusting.  Whatever happened to decency?  When I run over a cyclist and he or she smears blood on my windshield in protest I just give it a spritz with the wipers and get on with my life.  

Maybe the driver was out of washer fluid.



Between Byrne's nonsensical phrases and KAWS's ditzy shapes and colors, visiting Brooklyn is increasingly like entering the bedroom of a five year-old:


(No sleep 'til Brooklyn bedtime!)

I guess that would explain those new signs:


Speaking of Brooklyn, in its ongoing quest to emulate Portland in all things it played host to a handmade bike show recently.  Here's Gizmodo's coverage, which provides compelling insight into how stupid most people are about bikes:


Mark

Wow, this is a perfect example of why my gizmodo reading time has declined steadily over the past year. My apologies to "Nick Stango", but your knowledge of bicycles and what makes them special or unique is non-existent. I am so sick and tired of single speed bicycle owners claiming that they know something about the sport, it's equipment, etc. Your comments on "GEARED" bicycles reveal that you are not a cyclist, and never will be even if you slept on your "fixie", period. Your comments on the frame with the ISP are also mis-informed and the design of the seatmast in question is a bad one. I'll be frank here: your bike is most likely a piece of crap. Most fixies are. Here is a picture of a real bike (mine):



Note the German-A fork, Extralite crank, stem and brake levers. This MTB weighs well under 20lbs. Also, my apologies to the craftsmen of the show being reported on, it's not their fault Gizmodo sent a non-subject matter expert to cover your show.

Yesterday 8:40am

Hilarious.  I daresay Mark would make the most irritating riding partner in the world--more so even than this guy (via Stevil Kinevil of All Hail The Black Market) who actually needs to pay people to ride with him:


Portland Road Racer looking for ride guide - $20 (honey run & table mtn)

I am a Cat 3 roadie from Portland, and I will be passing through Chico this coming weekend. On Saturday, I would like to connect the honey run and table mountain rides, and would like some company in the form of someone who is fit and knows this route WELL, and can ride a steady, 180-200w pace for 80ish miles. I will throw $20 bucks your way and buy you a beer at the end.

There's nothing sadder than an amateur bike racer scrounging around on Craigslist for his wattage fix like a crackhead checking the cushions for loose change.  He also provides a picture of his bike so you know it's cool enough to 69 with yours outside the cafĂ©:


Anyway, if you live in the area, are able to tolerate both Cat 3s and people from Portland (yikes), and you want to make $20 the Fredly way be sure to drop him a line.

And with that, I'm disappearing until Monday, September 23rd.  Thank you for reading, ride safe, and may the six-fingered lobster eternally bless you.  Amen.

XOXO,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


353 comments:

1 – 200 of 353   Newer›   Newest»
streepo said...

Remember the panties!

englishstu said...

PODIO

Anonymous said...

podio!

BamaPhred said...

2nd loser podio?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

off again... what kind of blog is this?

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st! Top 10! and I read it!

BamaPhred said...

Agggh captcha failure

Serial Retrogrouch said...

streepo...
how in hell did you leave the last comment on the yesterday's post, then podium with the same comment??? genius

Comment deleted said...

We were just starting to creep back to the century mark in the daily comments tally, and now WCRM leaves us again.

I'm totally going to switch over to Bike Snob Pyongyang.

wishiwasmerckx said...

And rounding out the top ten...

grog said...

Eleven on Nine Eleven.
Scranus.

DB said...

Snob:
Good luck, best wishes, I'm sorry and congrats.
Choose the appropriate term for whatever you have planned for the break.
Thanks for the million and a half words, I hope you have many more to share.

Anonymous said...

Keep Calm And LOSE YOUR FUCKING MIND!!

McFly said...

Day 6. The panties still think I am one of them and have not picked up on my creepy involuntary lip licking.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

you're right... something is really disturbing about the weiner... he will snap and it wont be pretty.. kinda like his face.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Wiener fingered.

babble on said...

We'll miss you, snob... have fun!

wishiwasmerckx said...

I thought that when Mormons like BSNYC went on a mission, it was for two years duration, not 12 days.

wishiwasmerckx said...

And besides, it is a little late in the season to go to Jew summer camp.

JB said...

Schwanzig?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

wait wait wait... is it possible that this furlough is maternity... i mean paternity... leave?

Anonymous said...

Hey, the German a-fork is an AMP Research fork rediscovered!

Don't tell anybody though. This is the bike business. Everything is new.

Anonymous said...

Actually 79 different words used multiple times in many random combinations. Panties biek disgruntled scranus Wiener.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Serial Retrogrouch,

No.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

George W. Bush said...

thanks for the panties.

Bod said...

It's a free one!

DerZoots said...

Enjoy your no blog time activities Mr. Snob.
THnaks for all the wordsmithing.

Bye now.



KuKu RoboHouse: nionRev 10

ken e. said...

who can resist panties?!

mikeweb said...

I bet that crazy Lobster could give the finger too if it wanted.

Praise Lob.

ge said...

Seriously? Again? I don't know when I started reading this blog, but it must have been after Aug 2008 - my (Snob's on Aussie) vacation reading. When I catch up, I'm going to have to get a life. Here's hoping your blog isn't memorable enough for me to realize I've caught up.

RoadQueen said...

Hope you're at least not miserable, whatever you're up to, Snob.

Hey streepo, way to be in it to win it! XO

englishstu...we haven't met, but here are your kisses on the cheek!

Ron said...

Have fun at Interbike!

Anonymous said...

Weiner or no Weiner, they're all basically dicks.

BikeSnobNYC said...

RoadQueen,

Thank you, it will be far from miserable!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Does BS reimbuse Rip Torn for the use of his likeness on his "APPROVE" logo? Bob Patterson

Sean Lynch said...

Thanks snobby.

I noticed that in your link to candidate Bill de Basio, he states that he wants to reduce death and injury by auto accident to zero. He also points to my city as an example:

"In Chicago, City officials have set a goal to eliminate all pedestrian, bicyclist and motorist traffic fatalities within ten years. In New York, we can do the same. "

What I don't think he knows is exactly how Chicago is achieving this result. We've recently changed our laws to allow Chicagoans to start carrying guns. Legally carrying that is. As most of the world knows, we in Chicago spend our idle time shooting at each other for no particular reason whatever.

We hope to have the streets clear of hope to have the streets clear of pedestrians, cyclists and drivers in about 10 years or so. Once there are no people left, the number of accidental death and injury due to autos should be just about zero.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Whatever the case have fun, recharge the batteries and bring us back more free words.

CommieCanuck said...

In Gizmodo's defence, their target demographic is those chubby guys in thin "beards" who crawl out of their mom's basements to line up at the Apple Store every fall.

Anonymous said...

Tilford hurt his thumb again.

McFly said...

Marks MTB looks like it has never actually been ridden. Through the woods, anyway. My Intense Uzzi SL looks like it has had the living fuck beat out of it. People see it and think "Man he must be badass", when really all I am is bad at securing it on the rack.

CommieCanuck said...

"Fucking idiots will buy anything"
-S. Jobs, 2008

CommieCanuck said...

Hey, I found mobile computing's answer to Bib shorts guy.

RoadQueen said...

Commie C, your d00d looks like he could use some more space in his 'penthouse'.

looks like he's trying to house an elephant in a kiddie pool.

Yeesh.

RoadQueen said...

Actually on the second and third contemplative peeks, he looks like the human equivalent of a can of Pillsbury Biscuits.

The wrapper is under pressure.

16 ryedslR

El Bonkistador said...

Again with the leaving Wildcat... you're becoming the 'crazy ex-girlfriend' of bike bloggers. A small niche indeed...

I thought New York had 'street people' that handled windshield cleaning... why else is the city giving away newspapers and bottles half full of piss and windex? How much is THAT costing? Ask those fat cats in the capital, right?

So, Mark... or 'frank'... whatev's, dig it, sorry you are sick AND tired because it sucks when it all piles on.Also, I looked at the picture of your bike and while it may, in fact, weigh "well under 20lbs" it clearly weighs OVER 19lbs or else you'd have said as much.

Now that I have finally commented on a comment someone made on a Gizmodo board it can only mean one thing... again with the doping and this time my ride will be to recover some liquor!

ALLEZ!

DB said...

Snob:
If you are going to Interbike, try to get Bret's autograph.

RoadQueen said...

Snob,

Far from miserable? All RIGHT! Now we're getting somewhere! :D

Wait, is it far from miserable as in:

"I have to be here, but I don't want to gouge my eyes out so it isn't that bad, plus there's some wine"

Or:

"THIS IS SO FUCKING AWESOME BEER AND GRINS ALL AROUND AND GENERAL MERRY MAKING!!!!!"

Just clarifying, 'cause, ya know. I try to never assume anything.

CommieCanuck said...

your d00d looks like he could use some more space in his 'penthouse'.

It's all Kuku down there, you know you want him. Like the phones, smaller than average and unreliable with directions.

Shark Bite in the Scranus said...

9/23 my scranus, shark jumping time for Snob. Wait sharks can't get into bike lanes can they? Wait, on SNL there used to be a shark who would knock on doors and some babe in panties would let the shark in, every single time. Whatever!

Going to Vancouver Maybe? said...

If your leaving for Wreck Beach you don't have to bring swimming trucks. You don't want your luggage weight to go over 50 pounds.

Anonymous said...

The only thing wrong with wieners are the pricks they're attached to.

Ku Ku Klan said...

Heading for Wreck right now. Hoping for a Babble sighting.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that was Antonio Weiner's middle finger poking up behind the car window

yothzi

BamaPhred said...

Enjoy the lovely weather and splendid accommodations in Noneofyourfuckingbusinessistan. We have the southern version, Nunyafuckinbidnessistan.
CC, that wretched vision is burned into my retinas. May camel spiders infest your scranus. Seriously, coffee snorted through my nose it was so funny.

Anonymous said...

Here you go Queenie....get your stare on.

Angie Kritenbrink said...

Panties, Portland and paternity rumors. Have a great break.

babble on said...

anon @ 3:13 THAT is fake. C'mon. I post f'real pictures. Ante up.

Bamaphred - I'm sure that there are plenty of peeps who can also run screaming at 30 mph once they discover one of those nasty arachnids is after them.

babble on said...

er... I meant @ 3:12

Roille Figners said...

The blog is free because it's not the product. My eyeballs are the product, the blogger is the merchant, and the advertisers are the customers.

Or sometimes a book is the product, I'm the customer, the blogger is both merchant and advertiser, and the blog is the ad.

babble on said...

Snobbers- please DO come to Vancouver. Wreck beach is AWESOME this week...!

Roille Figners said...

In either case, whether used as bait in the first case, or as an ad in the second, the correct and appropriate price is: free.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 3:12

Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. His KuKu can't even pass airport security???

I pity the poor woman that tries to stuff that sausage in her bun.

Vegas said...

Everyone knows Snob is going on his annual Field Training Exercise. "One weekend a month and 2 weeks a year" in the Army Reserve.

Freddy Murcks said...

Well, at least the kuku penthouse was "lawnched" before you took off on vacation. It would have been absolutely fucking tragic to have missed your take on that.

I hope that wherever you are going in noneofyourfuckingbusinessistan has better biking and fewer hives outbreaks than the Hamptowns.

Kisses,
Freddy

17 dedpctf

balls™ said...

Snob,

It's just a little snip and a couple days of ice in the kuku penthouse and your breeding days will be over. Seventeen is enough.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, a puggle calendar. My puggle rides in a bike trailer and barks contemptuously at the doggie-peons who merely WALK through our fair city. ('course being in the trailer means he can't pee on anything, so his doggie dominance is put into question. He is actually the bib shorts Fred of the doggie world, but don't tell him.)

Hope you have a fruitful time off, Snobby.

Comment deleted said...

Serial Retrogrouch (way up at 11:15): I've done that before. It's called "going so slow that you win tomorrow's race".

ge said...

On the off Chance you're heading to Lonewolfistan, say hi to Ben.

Anon 1:10, you've got 2 weeks to study the archives and report back.

mikeweb said...

Irrefutable proof that there's still some coolness left in Brooklyn.

Comment deleted said...

Mikeweb: that guy can really make executing doing a poppa wheelie.

What does the wrench button mean? "I fucked up your bike, sorry"?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

mikeweb,

that's just irrefutable proof that if you listen to reggae, you can wheelie anything and hop any curb on anything... got to smoke up before, though.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

cd,

then it's going to be a friggin loooong race until the next post... i wonder if we can even stay on a bicycle going that slow.

David said...

Hey BSNYC — Here in Australia - "date" can be a colloquial term for one's butthole...something I'm sure you picked up while over here. The term, not someone's actual "date".

Anonymous said...

"Secret Bloggers' Business"; an ancient ceremonial retreat for bloggers. Led by Grand Master Mario Cipollini, the age-old observance involves bizarre scranus rejuvenating rituals and debauched feasting on endangered six-clawed-lobsters.

That's what Snobby's doing.

He'll be back refreshed and will resume his quest for world domination with an even greater vigour than before.

All hail the Snob...

McFly said...

Yo Babs that pic is real. That guys name is Jonah Falcon.

White bar tape and a white saddle DO make you faster. I know what you are saying cause isaid the same thing. My wife even opened the shop door and said "Who the fuck are you talking to? Did you stop takin your meds again?"

Nevermind that. I think the white reflects the suns heat instead of absorbing it like black. Therefore, it lowers the temp of the frame and residually lowers my core temp 2 degrees and allows me to produce .0000032 watts extra over the course of a 2 hour ride which results in me getting home 18 feet quicker.

The Rook said...

Oh Ms. baaaaabble? Perhaps, just perhaps, the lovely and vivacious babble could post some pantie pics whilst the BSNYC is off?

Jonah Falcon said...

Kerry Kerry Kerry...don't you remember me? It was really late and you were really drunk. You kept putting those cock rings on me until it looked manageable. I think you went with 4. Then got brave and shucked off 2. You even pulled those off but only when you were doing reverse cowgirl because you had depth control.

Grump said...

Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!

I demand a refund.

At least you could have your helper monkey post some of your old "Classic" Blogs.
.
.

McFly said...

Snob ain't foolin me. He's headed to Austin.

Anonymous said...

Admit it Snobs, you're going to get a custom handcrafted Kuku sack from a Portland artisan. Of course crafted from the finest free range, vegetarian feed, BGH free water buffalo pelt.

Or is it to film your own new kickstarter campaign for the above mentioned Kuku yak sack.

Notsosanta Klaus said...

Jonah Falcon @ 8:26
With all those spacers did you noticed any adverse tiller effect?

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

Snob... Go.. Just fucking go already..


Kindly deputize McFly to run the show in your stead when you take these extended sojourns.

We will take care of CJ while you are gone so you have plausible deniability.

perusca 37A

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

McFly @ 8:30PM

Your such a dope.. didn't you go to grade school?

Crookes Radiometer--your welcome

If you use black tape instead of white it results in a pushing force.. Assuming that the average biker either rides in the morning or the evening, when the incident of light is greatest in relationship to the bars, and also assuming that either 50% of the time the light will be either shining to you or against you then the net gain will be a stopping force with black tape (because your body will block the sunlight coming from behind, negating the pushing effect while traveling in that direction.

So, yes.. you are right, the white tape makes you go faster, but for completely different reasons..

The dumbing down of America is complete..

Jonah "The Bone-uh" Falcon said...

No, all I remember is waking up at something called Wreck Beach on a big blanket in the Spoon Position. She had draped my shank over her hip and coiled the rest up and put it in her straw hat. She awoke and stumbled up the steps mumblin' something about "Enough snake charmin' for one night and watch what you wish for......" and was out of my life forever.

I kept the hat.

McFly said...

Does NashBar stock a handlebar mount for the Crookes Radiometer? I could route my rides in relation to the RPM's the vanes are turning at. Plus it would be a really cool way to strike up convo with ladies. I can just hear her now....."Oh that's just like the one in our science lab at school, we can't play with it until we are in the 12th grade..."

CommieCanuck said...

Nevermind that. I think the white reflects the suns heat instead of absorbing it like black. Therefore, it lowers the temp of the frame and residually lowers my core temp 2 degrees and allows me to produce .0000032 watts extra over the course of a 2 hour ride which results in me getting home 18 feet quicker.

Which is why I have aluminum foil on my helmet, which over a 4 hour ride nets me 11.004 inches. Plus, its keeps the NSA from reading my mind, which, trust me, would land me in Gitmo for 30 years with twice daily waterboarding (is that like surfing?).

CommieCanuck said...

If you use black tape instead of white it results in a pushing force.. Assuming that the average biker either rides in the morning or the evening, when the incident of light is greatest in relationship to the bars, and also assuming that either 50% of the time the light will be either shining to you or against you then the net gain will be a stopping force with black tape (because your body will block the sunlight coming from behind, negating the pushing effect while traveling in that direction.

This is so true, once I only had time to replace half of my tape with black, while the other half was left white, and in an hour ride, I had done 2,314 circles. We should start a wikipedia page.

CommieCanuck said...


The dumbing down of America is complete.


Nah, it could get a whole lot dumber.

JP said...

http://youtu.be/WAHT8rs2AZ0

babble on said...

mmmm snake charming... :)

Sorry. I still don't believe it's real. Pictures, Jonah, or it didn't happen.... and that's all I have to say about that.

Now let's talk about panty pictures. Yes. I will happily post as many panties as you like. Just send those chamois knickers this way...

babble on said...

Fuck. ANOTHER cyclist down. Two out of three dead from the other day... bad week on Vancouver roads.

englishstu said...

englishstu...we haven't met, but here are your kisses on the cheek!

Cheers RQ - thats really rather decent of you! Reciprocated x!

RoadQueen said...

CC: Those "iPhone 5S Reviewers" must be a special brand of stupid. WTF.

But I now feel like a rocket scientist, so thanks?

XO

Anonymous said...

Gee Babble On if you can admittedly tame 2 average Joe's in the course of one rendez-vous then why shouldn't you be able to tame 1 1/2 with relative ease? My seat post is like 10 or 12 inches but I only need 6 or 7 of it for a good fit.

balls™ said...

Babble,

You are an amazingly good sport. Some of the anonymous creeping around here would scare me off if it were directed against me. Your answer is to promise more panties.

You truly have a pair of brass
ovaries.

Comment deleted said...

balls(TM) -- I was thinking the same thing. Babs is a helluva gal, that's for sure.

DB said...

I'm thinking that Snob went back to Melbourne to refund Sheree her 40$.

BamaPhred said...

No Snob. Scranus.

CommieCanuck said...

Fuck. ANOTHER cyclist down. Two out of three dead from the other day... bad week on Vancouver roads.

News tip: Vancouver is for wealthy entitled people who can run down anyone, because they have good suspension, and lawyers on retainer.

CommieCanuck said...

Those "iPhone 5S Reviewers" must be a special brand of stupid. WTF.

No, for really, really stupid, you need to Crowdsauce.

McFly said...

Kewl CC. How did they know I always get lost in the OPEN DESERT? Moreover is it compatable with my Crookes Radiometer Handlebar Mount?

leroy said...

Forget the new iPhone.

My just dog waited in line overnight to get us the latest in race radio technology.

It's the epitome of Apple minimalism and simplicity: a couple of tin cans and string.

I'm just sorry my poor dog had to be out all night with my $200 to get it.

He seems tired.

DB said...

Leroy:
I think your dog is tired because he's been running with the models from Fashion Week.
Tell him to stay away from Molly. There's a bad batch in your neighborhood.
I bought more Apple stock yesterday. I think this company has a future.

McFly said...

The Vulva a Espanka seems to be pretty awesome. Sometimes I have channel 402 and sometimes I do not and its very frustrating. I guess Chris Horners big chrome head is reflecting off that sunlight situation we were discussing earlier and keeping his core temp down.

DB said...

McFly:
I haven't paid any attention to the Vulva de Espanka this year but I'm reading on the Twitter that it is a good one. I may have to start watching.
I'm a little dubious with the cycling media as Cycle Sport proclaimed this years TdF one of the greatest and I thought it was a total snoozefest.

DB said...

Where are Crosspalms, Frilly and Nina?

Comment deleted said...

DB, Crosspalms has taken over a small European principality and installed himself as Benevolent Dictator For Life.

Frilly recently purchased the St. Louis Blues and has been searching for an answer to their lackluster scoring depth at center and penalty-killing.

Nina currently runs a sleeper cell for Al-Qaeda in Iowa.

DB said...

Thanks for the update, CD!
I'm glad somebody around here is living up to their potential.

CommieCanuck said...

It's the epitome of Apple minimalism and simplicity: a couple of tin cans and string.

I'm waiting for tin cans and string "S".

DB said...

CC: the "C" version comes in colours.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

BamaPhred said...

Did someone mention Pro Tour Cykleen? Rolling Stone says he whose name shall not be mentioned has anger issues. Duh? Where has Rip Van WinkleStone been for the last 20 years?

babble on said...

Wow! Thank you kindly, gentlemen! :D

I don't go out of my way to hide my identity, so it doesn't exactly take a genius to figure out my name... and plus I had a stalker already...hey don't scare me anymore. That's what the police are for. I have opinions which much of the world doesn't share, and so it never surprises me when some people don't like me. I don't care.

Haters gonna hate. I choose love.

I do care about my mission, however, and that's to make the world a better place than I found it, and that takes a changing of the guard, a new approach to things, and if it means more panty shots, so be it. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

And right now I have a date with my favourite ride. Where ARE my special padded panties? Hmmmmm?

babble on said...

They. They don't scare me, not hey don't scare me. Hey doesn't scare me, either.

The Rook said...

Just kidding about the panty pics, Babs. Anyway, sad to hear of the cycling deaths, and to add to it, I had a chance to explain the laws concerning passing a cyclist in Illinois, to an obvious octogenarian, right after she lost her passenger side mirror to my left elbow at 40 mph. I'm sure it did little good.

leroy said...

Note to self: do not trust dog when he says that the heavy rain is not coming down for another hour. Don't ask me how I know this.

BamaPhred said...

Don't trust The Dog, like I don't trust The Cat. It is laying here eyes shut, purring away. What it is really doing is thinking, "If this old fool will look away, I'll go scratch the $@&? out of that new ottoman." Then convince The Warden it was my fault.

McFly said...

Babble you seem like you would be hard to stalk what with all the crashing and such. Plus you got that Serena Williams lower unit which intimidates me. And intrigues me. Brass ovaries sounds different. Must be aftermarket.

Dental Crown said...

Your post has an excellent and motivating content. We are just happy with your current posting Dental Crown

McFly said...

Renee, The angle of your saddle is atrocious.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford is concerned about his hand situation but is optimistic about a "good release" for Katie Erikson.

Anonymous said...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/dmusic/marketing/CloudPlayerLaunchPage/182-3377518-6906730?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

riding in the cloud with headphones and a not bad azz

Anonymous said...

babble - you should upgrade to ceramic ovaries and enjoy a 0.001314% wattage output increase vs brass

JB said...

Love* the Tilford blog updates, btw.

*seriously

Comment deleted said...

JB - but does reading his blog cause a goofy Tilford effect?

DB said...

Steve Tildord's security questions are hard!
What is 14+15?

McFly said...

Well son of a.....SPOILER ALERT!!

Mega-Dome his ownself Chris Horner has climbed his way into redness by 3 seconds at this years Vulva.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well I'm cutting out of work early and going for a ride. Probably Fred out on the rail trail instead of the roads today being the 13th and all.

Have a nice weekend and good rides everyone.

McFly said...

I am with you RCT. I am lookin at a 1:30 departure if there are no derailments. I got a buddy just getting into it and we are on the cusp of a 15 mph average over the course of 30 miles which sounds fine to me cause I suck.

WHTE TAPE

WHTE SEAT

STIL SUCK

babble on said...

Just a few things to do today and I'm on two wheels, too... here's to the fredly need for speed, and to keeping the rubber side down!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update!

Anonymous said...

F00K Y0U

0SSH0LE


"392 Lickbut"


BamaPhred said...

Could it be
After all this heat
A hint of Fall in the air
Scranus the 13th!
It's ridin' time

Get your hands off me
You damned dirty robot
Sngsmen 213

leroy said...

FAUX FRIDAY FUN QUIZ (Abbreviated Edition)

1. My dog's reaction to CJ's rambling efforts to hijack the comments section the last time BSNYC took a powder was:

A. "Cool story, bro. Tell it again. But with spell check."

B. "Opening should have been: 'This one time, at band camp....'"

C. "Opening should have been: Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me....'"

D. "Opening should have been: 'Dear Iowa Writers' Workshop, I can has cheezburger....'"

E. "Didn't read it. Allergic."

Ride joyfully all!

(You too CJ. If it keeps you away from the computer.)

Stein Totin' said...

HORNER!!

Thanks for pointing that out, McFly.


dood's been in my garage! Horner that is.

Keuw Keuw Nuts said...

We are as sheep without a shepherd, waxing poetic the nonsensical. Please give us a post Babs to return some focus to the proceedings.

leroy said...

Transportation Alternatives' blog is reporting that if you drive your SUV in Queens on the sidewalk and hit 5 kids on their way to school, you get no summonses.

If you ride your bike on the sidewalk and hit Nicole Kidman, you get 3 summonses.

You can't make this stuff up

Everytime you think you've seen the ultimate WTF moment in the NYPD's traffic enforcement priorities, they manage to outdo themselves.

Maybe the SUV driver can hold a press conference outside the kids' school and blame a cyclist.

It's worked for cab drivers who maim out-of-towners.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

leroy,

it's best sometime to stick our heads in the ground... and wait until the coast is clear.

we'll lose our heads anyways, might as well hide it well.

it's not the NYPD's fault alone... everyone is implicated.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

even robot says: daraMyo
read it fast it says, damn you

babble on said...

Keuw Keuw Nuts- Done.

Here's my account of this year's Grand Fondle

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McFly said...

Great recap Babs! Nice pics. Especially image #3. Anyone ever told ya you got a butt like a soccer ball? I bet they haven't.

We like to write our names on ours. So we know who it belongs to and if someone else starts playing with it we jack them up.

BamaPhred said...

Le Bonk
I wondered how many cyclists Kidmans limo driver ran over so I searched.
Didn't find any, and didn't look very hard.
But I did find an old news story about her little Manhattan getaway flat and it's limo parking .
Isn't that special!

DB said...

Hey, New Yorkers:
Anyone go to the Shinola NYC Block Party?

Anonymous said...

Nice pie plate BO. Pfffffftch

babble on said...

Cheers. Do you like it?

McFly, um no. Not till now, I suppose. I like certain names upon my bottom though never my own....never seen Channel there, but that would be nice. :)

McFly said...

Yes. Yes I do. My buddy that just got into cycling finally broke though the Lycra barrier and went on a group ride this weekend. We agreed that 98% of female cyclists have something in common. Nice round junk buckets.

Did you get a new ownership name for it yet? Too bad the names are not always permanent.

McFly said...

Oh dang did you mean the pie plate? I apologize if I went the wrong (d)erection.

ChamoisJuice said...

Homie doing poppa wheelies on the citibike is Rone, owner of "Dah Shop".

BSNYC made a few jokes about "Dah Shop" is the past....
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/05/indignity-of-commuting-by-bicycle-bike.html
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/05/this-just-in-nuts-to-soup.html

Funny, Yelp seems to think the shop is approachable, non elitist, honest, and reasonable.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/dah-shop-new-york

Skip the first bit about tricks on kids bikes, and this is not a bad read.
http://animalbikes.com/shop-spotlight-dah-shop-nyc/

And here is some T&A related to topic at hand...
Big Toys X Animal promo

McFly said...

Well Chris "Little Jack" Horner went and won the Tour De Spanish. Which is essentially the red-headed step child of the grand tours. It's like the 2nd package on the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. That man has a cranium like


MEGA MIND

Devlin McGrabbin said...

Need more panties.

babble on said...

I'm happy you like it, and I didn't know there was such a thing as a wrong erection, but what about that pie plate, hmmm? C'mon. Was that a good idea, or what? Plus then there's all that beer to dispose of, right?

BamaPhred said...

Little Jack Horner ducking the drug test? Who would have thought. One tends to observe that riding clean is almost as big a joke as professional wrestling clean.

McFly said...

According to the Crookes Radiometer Owners Manual (PDF 3.62Mb) a Pie Plate will emit a diode flux variable which probably negated the transmissions of your timing chip.

Lets just say you did swell. I did a Gland Fondle last year around the Cumberland plateau. That Plateau is fookin' high. It was so gnarly they did not even offer a 100 option.

mikeweb said...

This weekend I'm planning to do a very dumb thing, or at least that's may start dawning on me at about 10 a.m. on Sunday.

Saturday:

Escape New York century ('bout 120 miles after I ride to/ from the start-finish).

Sunday:

Hillier than thou century. 12,000+ feet of climbing.

Pray to Lob for me.

BamaPhred said...

Does a Crookes Radiometer come with a handlebar mount?
Or do you wear it like a Go-Pro?
I suppose you could ride with the sun at your back and pick up wattage.
I always seem to find the headwind, so I guess it doesn't matter.

BamaPhred said...

Back to Back centuries!
Brave indeed!
May The six fingers of Lob be with you!
Enjoy

McFly said...

No Bama you can't wear it like a GoPro. It will tear a gash in your Anti-NSA Aluminum Foil Hat.

WTF? said...

I just finished Bike Snob: Realigning Etc. Great book, laughed out loud a lot. Looks like your blog is of the same wacky but insightful mode. Maybe you can clue me in. I am a cyclist from California. Last summer I was riding on a Rails to Trails path near Croton Falls.
There was a guy about 30 ish, with a girlfriend/wife/whatever on their bikes stopped at an interpretive sign. I pull up, said "Hello". We were about a yard apart, so he could have in no way not heard me. Without a word, he got on his bike and pedalled off like I did not exist.

Where I come from, when someone says hi the person normally responds with a smile and "hi". Especially among cyclists who tend to stick together this is the way we roll.

I was appalled at this guy behaving as if I were a space alien. Is this a NY thing? Did I happen the really truly NYC Bike Snob? Did I invade his bubble?
Please advise!

McFly said...

Unfortunately if he was a Cat 1 or 2 rider then that's typical behavior. Cat 5s are terrified which can be mistaken for snobbish, but they are just scared to death. 4s are the nicest and even some 3s are still pretty decent as long as no 1s or 2s are around.

It's not that he doesn't like you. He is just way better than you and not ALLOWED to like or be kind to you. I would have talked to the woman instead. She is probably tired of that asshole.

Dooth said...

WTF? Sorry, that was I (I'm actually 50)...I thought you said "hell no".

Blog Drafter said...

WTF @ 4:10:

It goes with the territory. There's a cool homeowner on the top of a local (very rural) hill that puts out a five gallon water container or two every day for the constant parade of riders that pass his house. It's a regular stopping point for a lot of local riders. One day I stopped and there were already three riders there, two women and a guy with a "B Leader" sign on the seat post. It was a blazing hot day, so I pulled out my standard joke when meeting people I don't know on blazing hot days..."well, at least it's not hot!" The two girls laugh loudly and spontaneously and the "B Leader", who was staring intently at his Cervelo aerobike, looked up without the slightest trace of expression and snapped to the women "let's go". It was pretty funny. I think he was probably a little bit insecure.

Anonymous said...

It's pretty easy to steal women from Super Serious Guy. Super Serious Guy does not toss salads.

Dave said...

mikeweb: You Magnificent Bastard!

If you don't survive, we'll send you off of a pyramid of burning one-inch tires. With your harem, slaves and horses, of course.

babble on said...

Have a fabulous weekend, Mikeweb - That sounds like fun!

leroy said...

jeez, mikeweb, i would have loved to ride one of those routes this weekend. Unfortunately, I will be out of town and in the land of early bird specials.

Someone really should remind those folks what the early bird catches for its meals.

Have great rides!

McFly said...

Easy Dave. Let's not do anything rash with the harem. Unless of course the harem gives us a rash. I am sure MW would want it that way after he expires from a Double-Century. You go boy. I call dibs on the quiet nerdy one. Trust me.

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babble on said...

How do you cope with pain? I use Killer Painkillers

Anonymous said...

snob can catholics live in riverdale?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Detective Wishiwasmerckx is on the mission.

BSNYC writes "I'm not posting until [September 23]...Why?...Because none of your business..."

BabbleOn writes "Showing Vancouver to a friend of mine...a professional bike blogger and a man on a mission I admire..."

YOU connect the dots. Just don't tell Mrs. Snob, ok?

babble on said...

I WISH! Mrs Snob would be more than welcome if Snobber Doodle Doo were to visit Vancouver. Nah, this guy used to work with Mr Weiss many moons ago, but he writes for a blog in Arizona.

McFly said...

.........I dont' know.........it seems like er'time you go on a beikcyclin adventure with someone either your knees or your back takes alot of abuse.

Could one person crash that much?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

.....suspect......

the Commentariat said...

Unconvincing denial.

mikeweb said...

Thanks for the well wishes everyone.

leroy: steer clear of the all you can eat sushi. No matter what your dog says, just because you can see the ocean from the buffet doesn't mean that it doesn't go bad.

McFly, she also wear glasses and is in the CBBC (covert big boob club).

McFly said...

Is that a subsidiary of Incognito Big-Ass Knockers? I don't think she is. I have been wrong before, though.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:23pm,

Only if they like living among Catholic schools and colleges and other Catholics.

--Wildcatholic Rock Machine

wishiwasmerckx said...

She's still not eligible for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

babble on said...

Well, to be fair, I do go an a few adventures without crashing, but it illustrates my point, doesn't it? The truth is any helmet of mine always serves its intended purpose sooner or later.

Is there a club for girls who wanna be in the cbbc?

babble on said...

Ah, yes of course. The ibtc sigh... it's just not as much bouncy, jiggly fun.

babble on said...

Dearest Wildcatholic Rock Machine,

When you're ready to confess, I'm all ears for you. Pope Babbles at your service...

babble on said...

Tell me how you sin.

DB said...

Wildcat RM is checking in on us to see if we're behaving.
Much better than last time, Snob.

RoadQueen said...

He's lying in wait, just in case he needs to tell CJ to fuck off again. Again.

Rock out with your cock out, WCRM! Hope you're having a ton of fun!

Comment deleted said...

I can't help feeling like I belong to a cargo cult, the way I get all excited because RTMS showed up.

Happy whatever-it-is-you're-enjoying, Snobby.

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Greg Herbold said...

Stupid lookin' bike

Anonymous said...

That'd be CJ right there.

Dooth said...

As a Catholic high school boy I did most of my teenage drinking in Riverdale (18 the legal age back then) at a few bars no longer there ...The Green Leaf was one...another one called Off Broadway ...can't recall the others.

McFly said...

The comment thread is trickling along on 1/2 an amp. We are no longer volleying the beach ball around the stadium. The beach ball is flat. And ever so often someone will stop and take a leak on it.

stone said...

Have fun at Interbike!

ChamoisJuice said...

Well, I found out how much a goat costs.
$2.75 a pound. Goats are typically 80 lbs.

So around $225.

I almost had a good story happen last weekend, but then I went and did the right thing, so it's really not worth telling. She was a 22 year old model. Her husband was in the navy. The end.

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

McFly Said:

According to the Crookes Radiometer Owners Manual (PDF 3.62Mb) a Pie Plate will emit a diode flux variable which probably negated the transmissions of your timing chip."

So gratifying to see a little education can go such a long way..

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

Roadqueen Said:

"Rock out with your cock out".

Have not heard that in a LONG time. Reminds me of a story.. since this miserable group has not yet reached the 200 mark, let me regale you..

Back in 1992-ish I was in Tokyo for a Guns-N-Roses concert at the Tokyo Dome..Japanese concerts are fun, but very subdued.. They sit in their seats for the most part and wave their little glow sticks. My friend and I did the literal "rock out with your cock out" bit.. (unzipped jeans, hung junk out, rocked out) much to the horror/delight of the people around us.. All that trolling paid off that my friend and I scored an amazing couple of ladies and had one hell of an after concert party that lasted well into the morning..

All good clean/dirty fun, and we still all stay in contact to this day.. well, not that type of contact..but you get the point..

Ah.. the uniting power of Rock and Roll!

that is all...

BamaPhred said...

In addition to the diode flux variable being introduced, the built in 2BRegretter function kicks in after making decision to ride sick.

RoadQueen said...

Mario's Albino Tadpole, I love that expression. Almost as much as I love saying to the ladies, "Jam out with your Clam out!"

Long live Rock 'N Roll! \m/

BamaPhred said...

So does anyone know the first use of Rock Out with your Cock Out? Sounds like something the Stones or Zeppelin would have used, but I don't remember.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

200!

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