Thursday, September 26, 2013

It's not the height of your bottom bracket, it's what you do with it that counts.

Remember on yesterday when I mentioned the United Nations and the kveching?

No?

Remember now?

Well, a reader I'll call Steven Arthur (though his real name is Stephen Arthur) writes in with a story that will tug on your heartstrings, testicle sack, or labia, depending on how you're equipped and where you're most sensitive:

Attempted NYPD confiscation of my bicycle averted by building doormen!

As if I did not have enough bad news to deal with today...

when I walked out of my office after work, my blue Bianchi of over 14.5 years, was missing, and two of my locks were cut laying on the ground.

I froze!

But I figured, that the NYPD cut my bike locks because Vice President Joe Biden was next door speaking, though when I parked my bike just before 9AM that morning, there was no indication of any police or fencing on the street that day.

Fortunately for me, the doormen of the building I had been parking in front of for the last 2.5 years, intercepted the attempted NYPD confiscation of my bicycle, and had it waiting for me in their building, along with a picture they took of the incident.

Here's a video of the police removing the bike, which I assume was taken by the heroic doorman:


I see about a thousand places you could hide something dangerous around there (the planter with the tree in it, hell-ooo!!!) so I'm not sure why they're fixated on the bike.  And what, they can't just have a dog sniff it?  They have to go at it with the saws?  Actually, maybe I've got it all wrong, and perhaps Vice President Joe Biden has a disorder that causes him to ejaculate repeatedly whenever he sees a bicycle so they need to sweep the area free from bikes before he arrives.  You can't have a world leader addressing other world leaders with a rapidly-growing wet spot in his pants, so if that's what all this is about I guess I don't have a problem with it.


And here are the severed locks:


So anyway, the doorman, who recognized the bicycle as belonging to someone he saw every day, convinced the NYPD and the Secret Service to leave it with him instead so he could hold it in trust for the owner.  Steven Arthur (real name: Stephen Arthur) also sent me a video interview with the doorman, but I'm not posting that, because if I were the doorman I wouldn't want my likeness plastered all over the Internet, especially because the NYPD and the Secret Service might come after me looking for revenge and I'd have to go all Jason Bourne.

In any case, the moral of the story is: 1) Joe Biden has an ejaculatory disorder that is triggered by bicycles; and B) Doormen are awesome people and the cornerstones of our neighborhoods, which is why I tip the one I don't have one million imaginary dollars every Christmas.

PS: I hope Steven Arthur (real name: Stephen Arthur) gifts the doorman a nice bottle of wine or a fruit basket or an all-expenses-paid trip to Cleveland (going rate: $75) or something, because he went way out of his way on that one, and if I had seen the police cutting a bike off a pole you can be damn sure I wouldn't have done shit.

In other bikey news, Lucy Burningham (wife of noted framebuilder Tony Pereira) has published a story in "Bicycling" about the bike tour they took with their not-quite-two-year-old son:


Never in a million years did I imagine we’d be subjecting our innocent toddler to imminent dehydration thanks to that promise. It was official: Our adventure was too adventurous. And in that moment, in my mind, it was all Tony’s fault. I tried to stop focusing on the peeling paint on the top tube, which suddenly seemed like a metaphor for our marriage.

Yikes!  This is why the most ambitious family bike tour I've ever taken was loading up the Big Dummy homeless-style and riding like eight miles to the beach:


I realize people don't want to let their kids slow them down, but I have no problem waiting it out until they're ready and willing to pedal the goddamn bike themselves.  (And preferably fix it, too.  If the kid flats then that's his fucking problem.  Amirite?  High five! [Sound of slapping hands.])

By the way, just to be clear, this is not a criticism of Ms. Burningham.  It's merely an acknowledgment that I'm a lazy wussbag.  I wouldn't even do a 500-mile bike tour through the Cascade Mountains by myself.  My criteria for any ride is that I'd better be back in my own home by sundown eating food and drinking alcoholic "recovery" beverages while watching Netflix or I'm not bothering.

No campfires, canned foods, and crotch rot for this wussbag.  [Points to self with thumbs.]  Amirite?  High five!  [Sound of slapping hands.]

Oh, my life's so empty and meaningless.

Oops, did I type that out loud?

Whatever.

I'll tell you what the cure is for ennui, though: Buying Stuff!  How many bikes do you own?  One?  Three?  A millionty-seven?  Well, no matter what the number, it ain't enough unless you have a Dedicated Gravel Bike (DGB)!  Even Wired is up on the trend now (as a reader informs me):



Oh and in case you haven't heard, gravel bikes have become A Big Thing. Everyone is scrambling to introduce a bike that is not a road bike yet not a ‘cross bike and definitely not a skinny-tired mountain bike, but an honest to goodness all-day adventure bike. If you’re struggling to understand just what a "gravel bike" is, the key criteria appear to be a bottom bracket lower than that of a cross bike but higher than a road bike, with a wheelbase a little longer than both. Gravel bikes also have quick handling and plenty of provisions for racks and fenders. I want to give a special shout out to two I liked in particular, the Giant Revolt, the HED Black & Tan, and the Raleigh Tamland.

Okay, I'm still struggling.  My understanding of the "high bottom bracket on a cross bike" thing was that it was left over from when people needed clearance for toe clips, and that most of the cool new race-specific cyclocross bikes had lower bottom brackets now anyway.  And now they have dick breaks too.  Like the gravel bikes.  Also, fenders on a gravel bike doesn't sound like a good idea, and it seems like a bike with racks and fenders and a long wheelbase already exists as a touring bike.  So many permutations!  I'm so confused!!!  I thought the "fixie revolution" was going to end all this, and that embracing the fixed-gear drivetrain and its concomitant "zen simplicity" was a rejection of the ever-increasing number of cogs and fancy gew-gaws.  But now the revolution is over, the same people are buying gravel bikes, and there's more (and more expensive) kinds of bikes than ever.

Incidentally, speaking of dick breaks, do you want to see a dick-compatible rim?  Here you go:


(Deep-section gravel-specific Joe Biden "collabo" dick break rim.)

My favorite, though, is how now everybody's like, "Wait, what?  Gravel bikes are cool?  I invented riding on gravel!  Buy my stuff for it now!":


However; it may surprise you to learn that Steve Hed is a big fan of gravel road riding. “I grew up riding these roads and my uncle was a county maintainer.” The company founder told me. His roots go way back to riding in rural areas and also in touring. “I really am a touring cyclist. That’s where I started. I was attracted to the Iron Man thing initially because I looked at it as an adventure.”, Steve explains, “Later on it became all about racing, and then the aero thing…” Of course, the rest is a well known story.

I'll skip the boutique gravel wheels but I'm looking forward to the upcoming biopic, "Steve Hed: From Mankini to Gravel Weenie."  I've also got eleven (11) words for you which I believe perfectly encapsulate the current cycling zeitgeist:

"Five thousand mile epic gravel-grinding adventure with toddler in tow!"

Throw in a KuKu Penthouse and you're all set.

Also, here's a related question: When do you set your kid up for a Strava account?  I mean, seriously.  Do you wait until he or she is old enough to ride himself, or do their segment times count if they're still sitting in the trailer?

Fuck it, I'm leasing a Hyundai.

108 comments:

samh said...

AYHSMB

le Correcteur said...

second unread 480 ofrefle

le Correcteur said...

And third dgeArti 563

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Laid back in the top ten.

Anonymous said...

Podio? Yeah Cleveland

grog said...

Hooray for Joe Biden.

Anonymous said...

Top 10!

Yarpo said...

Sixthst!

nunHelp 2423

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't have read it first. Yeah Cleveland.

dnk said...

This whole security clampdown on bicycles for the UN General Assembly is idiotic. They are not letting bikes go north of 38th Street on 1st Avenue this week, but they are letting all other non-commercial vehicles go through.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

10?

Matt said...

A few years ago I put some Schwalbe 50mm Big Apples on my Rivendell, which has a low bottom bracket and longer wheelbase and plenty of attachment points for fenders and racks, and rode around the gravel roads by my sister's farm down in Iowa. Am I suddenly cool or something? Do gravel bikes sound kind of a lot like Grant Petersen's Country Bike? Do they come in 650B?

babble on said...

Hey!I'm set. I already have a dick compatible rim!

Anonymous said...

Regarding the NYC bicycle security crackdown:

First, how effing stupid can you be; but then, really, my "normal" self took over:

Well, you know those bike riders are all like anarchists and shit; if they were real respectable people they'd be driving cars!

BikeSnobNYC said...

dnk,

Really? I had no idea, that's ridiculous.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Yarpo said...

I always, always, ALWAYS lose a podium spot if I check the blog first, then go to the bathroom for the morning constitutional if it's not today's. When will I learn to just hold it and wait?

samh wins with Cavendishian ease, le Correcteur doubles it up. Congratulations, Gentlemen.

mikeweb said...

Read it first.

I have the same disorder as Joe Biden, except it's when I see naked women.

RANTWICK said...

Top 20? Does top 20 even matter? Oh, what's the point... Close, RCT, close! WTG samh and french white-out

Fritz said...

Send Biden a bill for the destroyed U-Locks

CommenterBot 9000 said...

re "I want to give a special shout out to two I liked in particular, the Giant Revolt, the HED Black & Tan, and the Raleigh Tamland."

There are 3 types of people in this world; those who can count and those who can't.

3G said...

WEED

Jimboner said...

Jizz'n Joe the Scranton Squirter!

Also please note that Jimboner himself was born in Wilkes-Barre.

Marcel Da Chump said...

The Revolution wil not be gravelized.

crosspalms said...

On my dick bike with gravel brakes, I have a triple instead of a compact crank because I'm a flatlander who believes in having too much stuff. Plus, if I ever meet a hill, I want to be able to get up it.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC you're one step closer to becoming an atheist!!! I'm an atheist,but when I was thirteen I carved [ with a single industrial staple ] into my prepubescent blossoming chest an upsidedown pentagram. When Bunky felt me up [as he fucked my mind out] thought that was an implant scar. He shook them and said I can feel the saline. Yeah right I would spend money on a new wheel set before augmenting my body! Why add extra weight to my self just for a bigger chest?

Freddy Murcks said...

I would point out that it's not Joe Biden's fault. It's the douchebags at the NYPD who probably couldn't even catch a cold much less a dedicated terrorist.

ssniamm 4932

Anonymous said...

So, this is the same NYPD who can't seem to charge leg severing psycho taxi drivers, but get their panties in a bind whenever there is a bike nearby. In another areas, we'd call that crazy and prescribe medication and a few weeks at the local hospital

balls™ said...

We traveled to Europe on the 9/11 after 9/11. With us we brought a tiny wheel take-apart tandem. I was worried it would get the x-ray and we'd spend our vacation in some airport back-room explaining to them what a folding bicycle was for.

Luck for us, the NYPD wasn't involved and we had a great time.

All You Haters Suck My Rim.

abby cus said...

two is the new 3

"... shout out to two I liked in particular, the Giant Revolt, the HED Black & Tan, and the Raleigh Tamland."

Bogan said...

Woo-hoo speed on a gravel bike!
@0:45 on..

http://theteamrobot.blogspot.com/2013/09/what-its-like-to-ride-with-kovarik.html

Also, an excellent example of the primality of the anglo colonists with most isolation and poorest natural resources: Australians.

Yarpo said...

DGB. Dedicated Gravel Bike.

Gravel Bikes are now acronym-ized with DGB!

Douchebag Groveling Bike.

Buy, Spend, Buy, Spend, Buy, Spend...

Why would you trust Wired to report about bicycles?
Good comedic fodder for the blog, anyway.

Time for a bici ride; play outside today, everyone!

Anonymous said...

justa wondrin', where on the totem pole of the NYPD two cops setting up galvanized steel rental barriers might be...

80% of brakeen comes frim the frontal braeks, so if anybody wants some, just get a friggen new fork if you must. stop botherin the rest of us.

MTTA MPON

Lucy Burningham said...

When I wrote the line, "It was the kind of genuine and fresh wonder I’d forgotten existed." I realized I was a horrible mother. It had taken me 21 months to pull my head out of my ass and see how my child has been interacting with the world around him since the day he was born.

RoadQueen said...

samh - podio win! Congrats! XO!

Le Correcteur - nice second and third spot! XO!

I'm really confused about all these different bikes. It seems to me that it would be better to just buy the components that you want and put them on the frame you want. Skip the job-specific hype and bullshit.

But I'm probably wrong, so there ya go.

15 lsaspec

Anonymous said...

Why is the NYPD keeping bikes away from the UN? Think about it:
Nicole Kidman, who played a UN translator in the movie 'The Interpreter', got hit by a bike this week, and the NYPD suddenly stops letting bikes near the UN. Gotta be a connection.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

"I was just as bold and just as daring as I was before I gave birth to Oscar, and Tony was right there beside me. Sure, our lives would never be the same, and neither would our bike tours. From here on out, we’d always have to respect the line between responsibility and freedom instead of dashing heedlessly past it. But in learning to ride that line, we were stronger, hungrier, and wiser."

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

Roille Figners said...

You guys know terrorism, security, and esp. national security, and related terms are ALWAYS code for fuck with you, right?

glelog 420
WOOOO FUCK YEAH BRO

Roille Figners said...

Daddo - I know right? YOU WENT ON A BIKE RIDE WITH A KID. THE END.

Anonymous said...

Two points:

1. Don't think Joe B has had repeated ejaculations since 1974.

2. It seems to me that the trend has always been to pave gravel roads as population density in an area increases hence a reduction in available places to ride ones "gravel grinder". Perhaps that's not important as it's more important to have rather than actually use.

Daddo said...

Rollie,

Yeah - and one that you woulda had a much better time on if you had left at grandma's.

Anonymous said...

RonPaul2012

McFly said...

TRQC UPLG

@RonPaul2012 said...

We, the commenters of YouTube, believe in free speech as strongly as we believe in free videos of animals dressed like other animals. Therefore, we hereby declare: you can make up to 88 dollars an hour working from your house. Click here for one weird tip on how to lose your bellyfat. U R homo. Ron Paul 2012!

Anonymous said...

re "I want to give a special shout out to two I liked in particular, the Giant Revolt, the HED Black & Tan, and the Raleigh Tamland."

Later, He'll throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

Anonymous said...

DNF

McFly said...

Just about every dang time I take my kids on beik ryde they run into each other and turn into a pile of twisted aluminum and childmeat. It usually involves an Abrupt Stop by Babygirl. Bless her heart she almost murdered a baby rabbit once and can't get past it.

leroy said...

I can't be the first to notice a shout out to two gravel bikes the reviewer likes followed by a list of three.

Piffle.

My shout outs go to eleven.

Anonymous said...

Lucy Burningham and Tony Pereira are fucking idiots. Plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

If my brother's dog can rides in a trailer and has a strava account, why not infants and toddlers?
http://www.strava.com/athletes/303609

PTD said...

Can I use my dedicated cobbles bike as a gravel bike?

CommieCanuck said...

I set my car up on a Strava account just to fuck with people who care enough to have a Strava account.

Beth said...

I obviously need a dedicated gravel bike for the Town Lake hike-and-bike trail, whose resurfacing keeps making the skinny tires on my commuter go all squirrelly.

Hooray! for the heroic doorman.

CommieCanuck said...

I was into gravel before it was cool, before it was even called gravel. We called it rock racing. We would throw buckets of small rocks all over alleyways and do our thing.

Then, that dick Michael Ball stole the "Rock racing" moniker to sell douche jeans. After that, the term changed to gravel racing to avoid a trademark infringement.

"Wildcat Rock Machine" was the name of a legendary gravel alleycat racer, who tragically died of too many tattoos.

I moved on to R&D with a French Wheel company to design new rims and ties that can ride on cigarette butts.

CommieCanuck said...

Before I was known as Canada's "Prince of the Cobbles" , I was Canada's "Archduke of Gravel".

leroy said...

With the UN in session, I decided to ride a Citibike to work today instead of my own commuter bicycle cycle.

Mindful of the delays near the UN and the time pressure to set a blistering pace on a Citibike to avoid those sneaky mutli-million dollar overtime fees, I docked in front of Veniero's bakery in the East Village.

I got a macchiatto to go.

Back at the dock, there were no more working Citibikes. Horrors!

I walked a block to the next kiosk (right near where I used to live). There was only one available bike, but I let a woman who arrived just after me take it. She thanked me. Curse you chivalry!

I walked three whole blocks more to Astor Place where there were only a gazillion available bikes, but none with my exact saddle height. I was forced to adjust the saddle. Oh the indignity!

So to recap.

The UN and the Citibike program forced me to add a four block walk to my commute in beautiful weather while sipping a macchiatto after performing a good deed that made someone happy and cost me nothing.

You know, I could get used to problems like these.

(The macchiatto was my dog's idea. Not enough time to drink a full cup of coffee while commuting. I hate to admit it, but sometimes he's right.)

the Jimboner said...

Baby on Board is not a cheerful recount of a carefree adventure, it is a desperate cry for help.

leroy said...

Of course, my dog gave me the wrong spelling of "macchiato" just to mess with me.

Dooth said...

Doormen are indeed awesome people. Back in the day when I lived in a doorman building, they were great at screening lady visitors. The knew to give the hookers preference.

Anonymous said...

Penis pump

mikeweb said...

leroy,

We can tell that you wrote that and that your dog didn't hack into your computer again because when you mentioned gallantly allowing the woman to take the last Citibike, the story didn't veer off into CJ/ Penthouse letters territory.

Though I think that some of us here were secretly hoping it would.

mikeweb said...

Back in the late 70s I would often ride my old Panasonic Villager on a 2 mile long stretch of dirt road that did also have its fair share of gravel. I credit the multiple occasions of close proximity to near death at such a young age with making me the man that I am today.

Additionally, that particular bikecycle had an advanced technology known as the 'front freewheel', so while I may not have been pedaling 100% of the time, the chain was always moving. Perhaps some symbolism there...

anonymoose said...

Podium! What? No? Well, fuck it thwn. Guess I'll go join the circle jerk at the UN. Heard Biden is the pivot man.

Anonymous said...

@Commentbot

Thre are 10 kind of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.

(end of computer geek humor, back to your regularly scheduled bicycle cycling bike humor)

WanneBeTraveler said...

Mr Wildcat,

What tool do you carry to remove/reinstall your pedals? Is it a dedicated pedal wrench, a generic 15mm (even perhaps a road kill tool?) or some sort of multi-tool?

Merci

BikeSnobNYC said...

WannaBeTraveler,

The S&S wrench has a pedal wrench on the other end. I pack that, a multitool, and a spoke wrench in the saddle bag and that about covers all the assembly/disassembly.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Fred Clydesdale said...

i believe that's spelled "woosbag".

ya pootz!

Anonymous said...

WCRM,
do you use some kind of marking system/app/tape measure to insert your seatpost back into the frame where it was before you took it out?

STIL CONF

CommieCanuck said...

Do you take the air out of the tires?
Where do you store the air while flying?

RLLY CONF

CommieCanuck said...

Does rightly-tighty still work in Australia?

RoadQueen said...

4:20 HA!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:00pm,

I use a piece of electrical tape on the post, which I use on all my bikes, and which that idiot ChamoisJuice saw in a picture on another bike once and thought was a seatpost shim.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Roille Figners said...

Next time, be it at your posh high-rise douchecastle or the slumly confines of the dive bar, share a few good words with those gallant Guardians of the Door. "Fine job you're doing sir." They receive few thanks for their work, ensuring safety within and without. Huzzah!

Roille Figners said...

This olden-timey way of talking I find very-much agreeably suited to my waxen barber-shop moustache.

WanneBeTraveler said...

Thanks Wild! (I can call you Wild right? I feel like we're old friends that went to different schools together)

I just got a Ritchey BreakAway and all it requires is a 4 and 5mm hex key, except for the pedals.

The road kill Crescent wrench I found a few years ago may get tossed into the bag as the new special dedicated travel pedal wrench.

McFly said...

If the offending bicycle did indeed have a bomb secreted away in its undergarments I am pretty sure showering it with sparks would be the ideal recourse.

Anonymous said...

REWARD
Missing:
adjuable cressint wench, a few years ago. it has road rash

-remit to Goldie Ensauer DDS
care of Sandy Crotch

Frilly Chick said...

Oh my gosh! How could I have missed the KuKu Penthouse?!?

And is it weird that I find Joe Biden kind of attractive?

Anonymous said...

Snob, I've come to the conclusion that your blog is a convoluted and strangely affected way of saying, "life sucks."

Anonymous said...

NYPD has been doing this forever. I remember seeing cops regularly sawzall-ing bikes on 7th Ave in the 90's whenever Clinton came to the Sheraton.

I'd imagine that post 9/11, they're even bigger hardons about anything within kablooey range of the pre-arranged presidental footpath.

But, ya gotta think... If these bikes were weaponized (see Viet Cong and IRA for a gazillion examples), would taking an angle grinder to them be a Real Smart Idea?

Ask some CRCA old-timers about the time the NYPD and Israeli secret service stopped the entire field during the Mengioni race because Netanyoohoo wanted to go for a little jog in the park.

There were blacked out jeeps and pockmarked guys in black suits with Uzis blocking the road, while all the riders jeered and cursed at them!


Anonymous said...

@Frillychick

Yes.

babble on said...

Frilly? Uh ... maybe just a little, honey, but don't worry. We still love you. xo

the Commentariat said...

"I use a piece of electrical tape on my post."

COCK RING

Anonymous said...

WCRM,

"I use a piece of electrical tape on the post, which I use on all my bikes.."

ok, are you using this same post on all your bikes or just the tape?

STIL CONF

yerdify 310

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:41pm,

I mean yeah, obviously I have one post and saddle I share among my 509 bikes. I'm not made of money.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ouabacher said...

Can you imagine the panic in the hearts of the marketing guys when someone let's them know there are virtually no gravel roads in Ohio? Ive got it. Amish horse poop bike. It WILL have fender mounts.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ouabacher, that reminds me of a poem on that very topic:

In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented

You left your load upon the road and rode away contented.

But after a time the road turned to slime

The stuff had done fermented.

For many a mile it was pushed into a pile

Thus Michigan was invented.



Go Buckeyes!!!

ge said...

ATTENTION DUDERS!

I'm totally rolling out a Kickstarter to develop a gravel bike conversion kit for tour bikes.

One word: STICKERS!

Now, to get the working right. Gravel Master 6000? Gravel Digger? Wildcat Gravel Machine? Oh man, this is harder than I thought.

13 ionMInt - mmm, ion mints

ge said...

CC, yeah, I heard you have to take the air out when flying, but since I've never taken my bike on a plane, it never occurred to me where to store the air. Would it fit in one of those neck pillows? That would be convenient. Maybe people wearing neck pillows are all travelling with bikes.

BYND CONF

xquaryon 254

ouabacher said...

ge, you have single handedly put a complete business department: out of work. That is, the Walmart bandwagon bicycle naming and sticker design dept. (wbbnsd dept.

)
Rdsweeps93 (aah TV of the nineties, FRIENDS)

ouabacher said...

Wishiwasmerckx, unfortunately, I'm a Hoosier so the poem may be modified in (the) future. Though I'm well within riding distance of the Buckeye state, the path from here to there, on both sides, is dotted with many an apple.

Anonymous said...

fucking hate citi bikers...

leroy said...

Mikeweb--

So how was Hillier Than Thou?

leroy said...

My new robot code is "asgreet." I just have to use it.

Dear Mr. Anon 10:56 PM - -

My dog says if you press your ear real close to your monitor screen just after reading this post, you can hear the ocean.

Let him know when you're ready.

He made chili for dinner and says he'd be pleased to asgreet ya.

I don't know what that has to do with the ocean. Or why he wants me to quit typing so he can press his butt against the monitor.

I just don't get him sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Young enough for a Strava account? n teaching PE, I am having my students with smartphones set up a Strava/Nike + account to track their walking/bicycling/running mileage outside of class.

Chris Cole said...

They seriously cut bikes away from bike racks or poles as a "security measure" over there? Holy crap. Presumably there is some clause somewhere that says "Come pick your bike up at the impound, but screw you, we're not paying for the $100 lock we destroyed" ??

Chris Cole said...

And for what it's worth, my CX bike seems to fare admirably well on gravel... not that one would ever expect gravel on a CX course... #WTF ?

McFly said...

Obviously the Premier Gravel Bike.

Anonymous said...

100 here I come

99 said...

Maxwell!

Dráty a niple said...

100

mikeweb said...

leroy,

The HTT was sort of unbelievable. I was joking with other riders that when the road was flat for for than a mile or 2, that I was getting worried we were off course.

On top of that, for some reason they gave me bike tag number 420. When I pointed that out to one of the feed stop volunteers, he thought it meant they wanted me to have a mellow ride. BTW, the last feed stop was in the parking lot of a funeral home.

The names Fiddlers Elbow Rd. and Iron Bridge Rd. will be forever seared in my memory. The only 2 times I've had to do mini-switchbacks across the road in a 39x27 just to stay on the bicycle.

Finally, at mile 103 when we think we're home free, we turn the corner and have yet another mile long 15%+ uphill slog.

But if you're a sicko like me who likes climbing, then this is the ride. 12k feet worth.

babble on said...

You would like it in this neck of the woods... Just let me know when you're coming and I'll see if we can arrange a sucker-hole in the clouds for you...

best leave it till after the weekend, though, cause we've rainfall warnings in effect.

I got up at the crack of fucktarded to get a few hill climbs in before the storm. Filled up on matcha, got the kit on, tires pumped and just as I was putting the gloves on the deluge began...

meh.

babble on said...

Still chuckling, Leroy... :D

mikeweb said...

babble,

I don't even mind rain riding that much, just that the post ride clean up is a chore. Rain + wind is a different story.

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

Snob,

WTF you cunt. I live in Japan and force myself to stay awake so I can possibly get a chance at the podium but you publish to late.

Freakin Americans... American-centric bastards...

May Lob on high smite you down..

That is all...

babble on said...

I don't mind rain, but Ti Baby is uncut at the moment. I haven't neutered it for rain. In the past I always rode out the winter on a city bike with mudflaps et al, but don't want to give up my road rides this winter.

Besides. There's rain and then there's rain. This is El Nino rain, the first pineapple express of the year, where we're literally plastered with water imported from the tropics for days and days on end.

At least the Electra is big and white and very visible, and drivers almost always give me great clearance. It's true everything changes on a road bike, least it sure does in this neck of the woods.

Anonymous said...

Here's the plan. Get a doorman uniform and follow the police around and offer to hold all the bikes they are cutting the locks off of!

Anonymous said...

fucking hate citi bike bikers