Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Indignity of Sharing A Bicycle: Saddle-Borne Scabies (Just Kidding!)

In the comments section of yesterday's post, a reader said the following:

Anonymous said...

No mention of Dave Matthews riding SWORKS. BOO

July 16, 2013 at 2:57 AM

Sorry, but I have no interest in Dave Matthews or in Specialized bicycles, both of which make me think of fraternities, ratty baseball hats worn backwards, and plaid shorts with flip-flops worn right up through October.  Therefore, when you put them both together the repellent effect is synergistic and I run screaming the other way.

Actually, that's not entirely true.  My kid rides a Specialized, but it's just a gap bike for when his Vanilla is ready in 20 years.  Sacha White's team of clairvoyant artisan bike-fitters use foraged herbs, sooth-saying, and lasers to accurately predict a child's adult proportions.  Unfortunately, they can't predict future bottom bracket interfaces, so by the time the bike's finished it will already be obsolete.

Speaking of people who listen to Dave Matthews, check out this duder using the Citi Bike as his personal office and receiving a "high five" for doing so from his erstwhile fraternity bro:


("Duuude, that's aaah-some!"--Sneaker-Blazer Guy)

Yes, Citi Bike has profoundly altered the face of New York City cycling, telecommuting, and duder high-fives, though the system is not without its growing pains.  (I mean the bike share system.  As far as I know there's not a system for duder high-fives, though maybe they do find each-other via some "duder app" so they can slap hands during rush hour.  I wouldn't know, I was never in a fraternity.)  See, here's what the Citi Bike app looks like on your handheld smart phone device.  I'm the blue dot, and I'm standing right at the station:


See how the bike share station balloons are two shades of blue?  That's supposed to indicate how full or empty they are.  So when I headed to the station to which the green arrow is pointing, I naturally assumed it was half-empty.  (Yes, half-empty.  I'm a pessimist.  If I were the kind of optimistic hand-slapper who through things were half-full I'd be listening to Dave Matthews and spinning on a docked Citi Bike right now, waiting for high-fives.)  However, as it turns out, it wasn't half-empty or half-full.  It was totally empty, save for one bike with the seat turned around, which means that shit was broke:


Also, as I approached the station, I witnessed a woman checking out the very last working Citi Bike, and here she is salmoning away as she cradles her cellphone to her shoulder:


My first instinct was to give chase and insist she surrender the Citi Bike on the grounds that her behavior was highly illegal and if she didn't I'd turn her in to the NYPD.  My second was to un-dock the broken Citi Bike anyway, since as far as I could tell all that was wrong with it was that it had a flat tire.  So why not just "rim" the fucker to the next station and swap it out for a better bike?  It's not like it's my bike, so who cares if I trash the wheel?

But then I realized that was silly, since there's a Citi Bike station roughly every four feet, so I might as well just walk to the next one.  Here's me heading downtown to another dock:


("15 bikes my scranus!")

This station was also far emptier than the app indicated, but there were two working bikes:


However, when I approached, this guy told me the station wasn't working:


"Who the hell is this guy and what does he know?," I thought to myself as I inserted my key and discovered that he was exactly right.

By this time I'd inadvertently walked halfway to my destination, and a reasonable person would have simply said "Fuck it" and continued to do so.  I, however, am not reasonable, and at this point I wanted a Cit Bike out of spite.  In fact, I was prepared to continue walking past my destination if necessary, stopping only at the first Citi Bike station with a working bike in it, or at the Staten Island Ferry, whichever came first.

Fortunately, at the next station, I spied a bike waaay in the distance:


Actually, there were two bikes, and a guy in a green shirt was staring at one of them as if willing it to un-dock itself:


I was ready to fight him if necessary, but it wasn't, and I finally checked out a bike and rode it a mere ten blocks to my extremely important recreational beer-drinking appointment.

As far as I know, the guy in the green shirt is still there.

By the way, there have been a lot of complaints about Citi Bike, but how come nobody is outraged by the wanton seductresses who parade their wares at each station?


I assume they loiter there in order to take advantage of the sorts of rubes who think things are half-full.  "Hey there, tiger.  My Citi Bike key isn't working.  Could you check out a bike for me?  I don't want to be late for my waxing appointment.  If you wait here for me I'll let you inspect it."  Then they ride off into the sunset, never to return.

Actually, maybe that's what happened to green shirt guy.

At any rate, once I had my Citi Bike, I joined what in New York City these days is actually shaping up to be something like a bicycle rush hour:


Though as soon as the light changes, the attacks begin--and not the Cat 6 attacks, either.  No, I mean the "dooring" attacks, visible in the distance:


Note the silver car parked in the buffer, and how the passenger flings his door open and leaves it there like it's trawling for tuna:


Note also the New York State plaque indicating the driver is a judge or something (I didn't actually stop to look at it and my shitty photography renders it unreadable) and thus part of a vast anti-cycling conspiracy:


I also attempted to get a shot of the shitty passenger responsible for the dooring attempt:


Sadly I failed, but I did at least get a shot of the numbnuts in the passenger seat:


Honestly, I don't really care if these guys want to sit around in the middle of traffic rubbing their schlongs because they're in the government mafia, but could you at least just close the fucking door please?

Fuck you very much, I appreciate it.

Next come the attacks from the pedestrians:


I suspect that at least 75% of the people who complain about sidewalk cyclists have no idea that they're actually walking in the fucking bike lane:


("Loving these new green sidewalks!")

I also suspect that the guy in the business casual attire is schlepping a duffel bag full of body parts:


As for this guy, clearly he found himself on the wrong side of the scaffolding, didn't want to walk over the grates lest he fall through and join the C.H.U.D.s, and so now he's making his phobia your problem:


He'll be penning an angry anti-cyclist screed to the New York Post as soon as he gets home.

Meanwhile, in more Fredly news, James Huang is now taking on tubelessness in his "Yeah, I Just Went There" column:


(James Huang likes tubeless.  Yeah, he just went there.)

Inner tubes are notably rare on other high-performance vehicles, so why are we still using them on bicycles? While they're not always the easiest to set up, I can't think of many good reasons why most riders shouldn't go tubeless.

I dunno, belt drives are rare on high-performance motorcycles but that doesn't stop the bicycle tech geeks from "foffing off" all over them.  Also, other high-performance vehicles go 100mph and have tires that weigh more than my entire bike; meanwhile, I can fold up a bicycle tire and stick it in my jersey pocket.  So maybe we're still using inner tubes on bicycles because they work and you can repair them like a million times, and also this:

The biggest obstacle to widespread acceptance of tubeless, however, continues to be convenience. While you can easily swap a tubed tire in less than five minutes, stubborn tubeless tires can take far longer and sometimes require a compressor to properly seat the bead. Then there's the messiness of sealant — especially if you blow a tire off the rim.

Sounds really fucking annoying.  It's remarkable how inconvenient the cycling industry wants the bicycle to be.  Plus, I don't think any of those high-performance vehicles (whose owners never repair their own flats anyway) require ejaculating sealant into the tires on a regular basis.  I certainly don't squirt Stan's into my car tires, and I didn't do it when I had a motorcycle, either--though my motorcycle did use inner tubes.  

Sure, I do like the tubelessness on my mountain bicycling cycle so I can keep my tires all mushy, but on a Fred bike it just seems like a pain in the scranus.

Nevertheless, clearly it's only a matter of time before every Fred bike has electronic shifting, hydrolic dick breaks, a gigantic pain-in-the-ass press-in bottom bracket, and impossible-to-mount tires brimming with spermy sealant, so when it breaks you'll have to bring it in to the local dealership for a "diagnostic" and have your tires mounted and spin-balanced with a machine.

I totally plan to do a helicopter conversion on my Fred bike though:


Now that's how you avoid a pinch flat.

116 comments:

Blog Drafter said...

Bike Throw!

Anonymous said...

El Diablo looks like a fukin chicken this year.

- Dancing on the pedals in SF

ChamoisJuice said...

meh

Anonymous said...

hey SF is gettin some identical citibikes soon. coast to coast anybody?

BamaPhred said...

Top ten?

dannyray said...

Whitesnake!

Yarpo said...

Teep Tern! Scranoculous!

El Bonkistador said...

Begrimin' the streets

Yarpo said...

Way To Go Blog Drafter! Git Some!

Off to work, where I won't be able to finish reading today's blog entry BECAUSE MY EMPLOYERS BLOCK IT IN ORDER TO PROTECT ME FROM MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

There should be a statue of Stalin in the lobby. You can find them all over eastern Europe, just lying on the ground. Surely they won't miss one...

Pedal, pedal, pedal!

Anonymous said...

STAN SPERM

I hada rental boingy boingy mtn bike, scratch that, 29er, and I got a puncture in the rear, whilst descending, and it went spsssschhht and sprayed my hairy legs with some uber goo, and it dried, and it looked like I had foffed off in the shower for a few days afterwards. So I did.

babble on said...

Good day, peeps!
got a hot date with a great bike... back in a bit!

Flyover bike commuter said...

I would have made the top ten except I had to toss the cat off the computer and finish eating a hearty brunch.

Mr Plow said...

Is there a citi heli bike share? I'd like to try it out

Comment deleted said...

Nobody uses Citibike anymore. They're too popular.

Anonymous said...

pedestrians in the bike lanes is the reason I strapped a 400 lb church bell to the front of my bike.

Anonymous said...

"It's remarkable how inconvenient the cycling industry wants the bicycle to be"


Amen brother

top teens?????

Marcel Da Chump said...

Citi Bike seduction.

Freddy Murcks said...

I can think of at least four good reasons for not going tubeless on the road: (1) Have to buy special wheels, (2) have to by special tires, (3) mounting and inflating tubeless tires is often a pain in the ass, and (4) standard tires and tubes work pretty well about 99.9% of the time.

I would happily go tubeless I were to buy a new road bike and it came with too-blay tires and wheels, But I am not going to rush out and buy expensive new wheels and tires for my fred sled just because James Huang and Lennard Zinn choose to prattle on about the joys of tubelessness.

242 otionMy

francis davis said...

those citi-bikes should have power steering on them so you don't have to muscle your way around a door-trap you can see from a block away.
life is so hard there in canada's grease tray.

JB said...

The "go tubeless, you idiot" article pretty much explains why one would logically not go tubeless. Which you pretty much wrote in your blog, and then I summed up in a blog comment.

Matt said...

It looks like bike-copter guy is on a fixie. It's Zen-like, it's like you're one with the machine, the purest form of cycling, er, flying.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

"duder app"
Shudder...

Highasakite said...

That flying-bike duder ain't wearing no helmet!

bros_before_hos said...

WTH! Name the blue bikes BailoutBikes.

The banking industry has already gotten enough of my tax dollars rebuilding their balance sheets.

You know that asset repurchase tactic being used by the Fed? Okay, you don't, but they have one and they are using 'meriku's tax dollars to do it.

This is Canada's scranus after all, so corporate fellatio is.... awesome! I wrote this in my fraternity house wearing plaid shorts and flip-flops.

Robot stack failure

The King of Park Slope said...

High 5s necessitate friends.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks for the continued bikeshare coverage. Nice to see the empty racks.

I use old innertubes for rubber bands, strapping and lashing, gasket material and various other McGyver apps. I'll stick with tubed tires for all my two-wheelers.

Anonymous said...

I guess by dreaming big, you end up with a really big bicycle helicopter.

Onespeed said...

Methinks I've seen a UFO. {Unidentified Fredly Object}

Anonymous said...

Mid-pack fodder Top. XXX

RoadQueen said...

Nice Helicopter!

When they figure out how to make it functional at about one tenth of its current size - I WANT ONE.

situTb 5300

balls™ said...

Discussions of tubeless tires filled with goo could head south quickly, but I'll leave it up to my internal 11-year-old and spare my fellow commenters.

I guess to a Fred, money is thrown at anything that promises to make you ride the slightest bit faster. But,I am old enough to know the bike isn't why I'm slow.

scranus?

Legitimate Golf said...

Mmm, I love wantons!

Anonymous said...

Handle bar tape on the bike-copter is wrapped wrong!

thegock said...

AUTO BUSS

thegock said...

AUTO BUSS

Anonymous said...

Canabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers Attack!!

db said...

"No mention of Rip Torn riding BUDNITZ. BOO"

Anonymous said...

justhat bike-copter looks about as unwieldy as a recumbent.

Anonymous said...

WCRM, isn't your plastic bike a specialized?

crosspalms said...

We could always go back to sew-ups.

DerZoots said...

Hey wow awesome!
Nice.
Good.
Cool.

Thought I would try a positive post for once.

Donesn't feel right though. It might fit better later.
I'll come back.

after robot tractor beam: nmatedn1219

JB said...

This just in:

"Dave Matthews Got Flat, Not Riding Tubeless Yet"

"Dave Matthews Did Not Bring Spare Tube and Pump"

"Dave Matthews Didn't Know What Spare Tube and Pump Was For, Either Does Doe-eyed Fan"

"Dave Matthews: My Bike-cycle Broke"

"Dave Matthews: We Need Some Publicity"

Roille Figners said...

"...stubborn tubeless tires can take far longer and sometimes require a compressor to properly seat the bead."

Ha! I can't tell, is James Wang Chung trying to talk me INTO tubeless or OUT of it? It's like those TV ads for drugs that list a long litany of what can happen to you if you're stupid enough to take them. "Risks of Scranusib include heart palpitations and possible death. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience dizziness, erectile dysfunction, explosive diarrhea or painful sores while taking Scranusib. Those with shingles or heart problems, such as having no heart, should avoid Scranusib" etc.

Anonymous said...

San Francisco apparently has a bike share program in the works.

When it rolls out I plan to bombard you with annoying comments on its superiority to the Citibike.

You know, just being a smug, elitist little shit.

I guess the more people actually use the bike lanes for, you know, biking, is when people will give them proper respect.

DB said...

My Madrone came with Hutchinson tubeless tires and while you can ride them a little under inflated for comfort if you wish, they are a pain in the ass to change out due to a flat. And, they are 88$.
My next bike will have Mavic rims, 800 spokes triple crossed and tubes.

JB said...

Try to pedal one of those beasts up a hill in SF. They will all "flow" downhill to the stations by the water. For the return trip, uphill, the riders will hop on a rice-a-roni trolley.

Matt said...

Those San Francisco bikes will be great for going downhill.

Anonymous said...

Hey DB, don't forget the brass nipples!

babble on said...

OMG!! I have those very important recreational beer drinking appointments, too!

Er... cool cyclechopper, but you've got to wonder how it would do in any kind of wind.

Anonymous said...

so toobless is: heavier, has higher rolling resistance, sometimes requires sealant (which, btw, MORE rolling resistance), needs a compressor to seat properly (& maybe some soapy water), costs more and there are limited choices?

why am i still living here in the past???

babble on said...

I had a tough week last week, but a ride up to Wreck beach turned my frown upside down:)

P. Bateman said...

anyone else really, really, really want that helicopter? i know i do.

you know what is WAY hotter than dave mathews? this shit right her straight out of the ATL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94MK2JQIgFs

RoadQueen said...

"Anonymous said...
justhat bike-copter looks about as unwieldy as a recumbent."

JULY 16, 2013 AT 2:08 PM

Have you ever ridden with someone on a racing style, short-wheelbase recumbent?

Those things are BAD ASS. The duders that ride that type tend to be SUPER-FUCK-A-LICIOUS, in my opinion.

Yummy...

Makes me want to - tryToro 206

grog said...


Scranusib cured my wrenched nipple!
HOWY DOON
RTMS SNOB

ChamoisJuice said...

Bikesnob, SRSLY, it's time to take inventory of what this blog is all about. It's called bike snob for Lob's sake, and here you have people taking about how badass recumbents are, and how sexy their riders are once you look past the socks and sandals.

JB said...

This blog is terrible! And the commenters are simply ponderous!

RoadQueen said...

CJ...

What's with the 'tude? Has your Chamois not been Juiced lately?

I know I get cranky when I haven't gotten laid in a while.

:)

P. Bateman said...

i thought this blog was about music? specifically DAve Mathews and Young Dro? FDB ...FDB.

Buffalo Bill said...

So, do I get a garmin jersey with my new flying cervelo?

51smustit

ChamoisJuice said...

TRUEFRED

^^^This is a Fred

This dooder below deserves ridicule for his choice in bicycle and attire, but Fred is not accurate.

FATR OADI

The Lake sandals will probably become my winter sandals because I think that protective lip on the front will cut down on the wind chill on my toes.

RoadQueen said...

*hee-hee*!

Chubby guy's jersey says Jelly Belly on his jelly belly.

TOO CUTE! Love his mustache...it's pretty epic.

(I think the bee sting I suffered last night whilst mowing my yard may be affecting my mental state...)

BENA DRYL

BamaPhred said...

Pinche tubeless. Just what I need, some sperm-a-goo to baste myself in while I'm rolling around on the ground trying to wrestle my tube and tire back on the rim. Sealant has been known to cause Scranusid, btw.

Dave said...

Finally! One intelligent, discriminating person acknowledges the supreme awesomeness of the SWB and of course the irresistible musk of those cool enough to ride same. Thanks, RQ.

I forget, can robots steal in the Asimov scheme of robot morality?

thefthe 44

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Save it, putz.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

DerZoots said...

UUUUGGGHHHHHH

A fucking Colnago Master Mapei edition with a goddamned wired computer.
Shoot that man NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes are hurting me.

102eWsLib

Case sensitive I beeeeeee sting!.

RoadQueen said...

Mmmm...I'm craving me some 'bent right now.

It is thirsty in here, or is it just me?

ChamoisJuice said...

huh, and here I thought WIWM is the only one obsessed with my sex life.

21 year old is addicted to the schmeckle. 50% of the time we ride with anger, 25% of the time we smoke hella dank herbs, the other 25% she talks incessantly and drives me to the brink. I'm not sure how much more I can take. Almost not worth it, almost..

Also, she is truely terrifying behind the wheel of a car.

28 year old artist moved to Portland. She is already selling work. I am going to go visit her soon. I really like her, though am not as sexually attracted to her. I generally find I am more attracted to women that I have no interest in talking to... sometimes I wish I could have four women, each optimized for one of the four types of love....
four Greek words for love: affection, friendship, eros, and charity

My ex came at visited me recently. I don't think I will ever get over her... the rare hot redhead... I think she can tell when I am almost going to forget about her. I am powerless to resist her.

Comment deleted said...

I have some important thoughts to share about tubeless tires and the decay of moral fiber in this great country. Just the other day, I was saying to my trained aardvark...

Wait, Babble went back to Wreck Beach? Fuck it. Use whatever tire you want. I'm out of here.

JB said...

Weekend warrior with pro kit, matching gloves, Italian bike = FRED

RoadQueen said...

CJ, I hate to tell you this buddy, but your posts seem to be cut and paste here lately.

Same words, different post times.

You sound bored.

Anonymous said...

I'm already over Citibike. In the morning no bikes. In the evening, no slots.

I feel like I'm cheating on my Brompton and my mistress is treating me badly.

-- Bromptoneer

Euro Spondee said...

Snob's story sounds just like the last time I was in London, and couldn't find a working bike for love nor money one morning. When the system works, it's great, but don't rely on it for getting you somewhere on time...

Leftwing said...

chamois juice is getting more pathetic with each overshare of his sex life comments.

VOR said...

Wasn't the Dave Matthews story about a motorist assisting a bicycling in his (in this case) time of need. Gotta give credit where credit is due. Just saying.

Dooth said...

I'm happy to the point of tears over the success of our bike share program. Really...sniff, sniff.

VOR said...

Wasn't the Dave Matthews story about a motorist assisting a bicycling cyclist in his (in this case) time of need. Gotta give credit where credit is due. Just saying.

ETF said...

Greeting Dooth, Speaking of Citi Bikes, Wikipedia reports that there are 535 bike-sharing programmes around the world comprising of and estimated 517,000bicycles. Except for NYC, that's a good thing, right? P.S. "The countries with the most systems are Spain(132), Italy (104), and China (79)." It is definitely a Cat 6 world.

JB said...

VOR: The motorist happened to have a bike rack on their car. They were "a friend of ours."

ChamoisJuice said...

I think my emotional problems stem from that fact that I own and operate both a car and a bicycle.

I am locked in an epic us vs. them battle to the death with myself....

RoadQueen said...

Just for the record, I like Dave Matthews more.

He was riding his bike to his own concert? Who DOES that?!

Dave "Muthafuckin" Matthews, THAT'S WHO!

VOR said...

Howdy JB, As you are no doubt aware, there are a few very vocal anti-car bicycle cyclists out there who believe no motorist is a friend and will condemn any motorist, bike rack or no bike rack. "THERE ARE NO GOOD CARS" You know what I mean.

the Commentariat said...

CJ, we want you gone, not dead, but do not offer us such a chance to change our minds...

Comment deleted said...

Hey Road Queen, nice blog. Just discovered it. Boy, you'll put just about anything between your legs, won't you?

Hmm, that didn't come out right...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Hey CJ, can I send you a book on how a gentleman is discreet about his conquests?

ChamoisJuice said...

That's ok, I already own that one.

That's where I learned the "put your dick on the table" trick.... surprisingly effective

ETF said...


ChamoisJuice 4:46 PM said...
Well said. Being a motorist and a bicyclist is kind of like being German-French or French-German: Schizoid. True self love/hate. Self flagellating.


Frilly Chick said...

Ha CJ you must have really done the redhead wrong cuz that is exactly how I torture my ex-boyfriend. At about the right time I text him a picture of my kitty. Drives him wild because he loved my kitty & misses her something awful. Approx. 5 minutes later he calls on both the cell and office phone. I ignore all calls and let them go to voice mail. Precisely three days later I call him back with a casual, "What's going on?" Repeat every two and 1/2 months. And it never gets old, so you might as well get used to it.

Anonymous said...

Hey Frilly, could you alternate between the two pictures for the full "Bombshell" effect. Thanks.

Frilly Chick said...

I would Anon 6:42, however the Google police didn't appreciate the picture of the girls. At least not as a profile pic.

the Commentariat said...

God, Frilly, just when I thought I couldn't fall more in love with you...

the Commentariat said...

...and by kitty you didn't mean an actual cat, right?

Frilly Chick said...

Peut-etre. Qu'est-ce que tu penses?

And I'll never tell. You have to go through a year and a half of my kind of crazy to find out.

*smirk*

RoadQueen said...

CD:

Hey thanks! Yeah...I like to ride all kinds of things. ;-)

Cheers!

the Commentariat said...

For those of you who are not fluent in French, Frilly said that Kafka's The Metamorphosis was an enjoyable read for her.

Anonymous said...

Frilly, CJ is making all that up. Please ignore him.

Six Jasper 66 said...

That's no helicopter - that's a HELLA copter!

6 Jasper Six6 said...

Rare hot redhead? WTF?

Anonymous said...

I wrote the DM comment. Not a fan, but he does ride a bike. not a fan of Lebron's gullom impression "my precious" but he too rides a bike. Much better than Dorothy Rabinowitch ever could do.

leroy said...

Sorry I'm late.

Been waiting for my dog to return the Citibike he borrowed from me.

Hope he can find me.

It's getting dark.

98...

ken e. said...

woot!

ken e. said...

and zoom a zoom do!

Frilly Chick said...

The Google Goon Squad strikes again.

Yep, that's exactly what I said Commentariat.

Anonymous said...

So why is the Citibike app so inaccurate? Latency issues? There can't be that much activity to empty half the stable in such a short time. Why the heck can't they display an actual number instead of just shading the icon? Also, maybe those wealthy people who don't like the program are willing to just check bikes out and keep them out and just pay the rent. Kind of a stretch, I know, and leaves the begriming racks themselves, but if people encounter unavailability and uncertainty for just a few weeks they may swear off it altogether.

Anonymous said...

Is this good enough for the winy blog readers that post asking for the "old" BSNYC back? It sure reads like it! I loving reading whatever BSNYC writes in this blog. Be thankful before it goes BYE BYE. NIGHT, NIGHT TOFRUMTMUE...

Anonymous said...

"Blogger JB said...

Weekend warrior with pro kit, matching gloves, Italian bike = FRED"

I'm sorry but I don't see how a weekend warrior with a nice bike and gear is automatically a fred. Fred (to me) are the guys that are always "training" for something.

Dude's Jelly Belly kit is embarassing, but that's just the American in him. Most American fashion is fucking embarassing.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 3:58am

Or maybe, he guy genuinely has a sense of humor and is able to not only see the irony of his get up, but chuckle at himself as well.

I chuckle at myself all the time. Sometimes it's my admittedly challenged sense of fashion, sometimes it's a dunder-head move of epic proportions that I knew was a bad idea going in.

Either way, I laugh, and I'm a happier person for it.

Life's too short to take yourself too seriously.

Merican tourister said...

They gots loaner bikes in Paris and Lyon. Great for tourists- except- you gots to have a credit card with a microchip for them to work. Oops- that means us 'Mericans are just shit outta luck. Sorry. They didn't do it on purpose.

CommieCanuck said...

Thank God Google doesn't have any issue with Sir Abe Vigoda.

Anonymous said...

My office building has a long stretch of Citi Bikes on its corner. I've seen a Citi Bike repair van empty the racks of bikes with mechanical issues.

JB said...

It looks like there are about 25 to 35 docks at each Citi Bike station. Of those, what would be the acceptable number of bikes that are out of order?

I would say it should kept to less than 1. More than that just looks bad.

babble on said...

YEOWWWWWZA! Frilly! Sweet cheeks and the girls? You ARE the full meal deal.

Yum.

Thanks for sharing.

:)

Comment deleted said...

Hey Abe, show us the "girls"!

ChamoisJuice said...

6 Jasper Six6 said...
Rare hot redhead? WTF?

Redheads make up 2% of the USA's population. 1 in 50.
Of that, 50% are women. 1 in 100.
Of that 30% are hot, or 8, 9 or 10's.

Statistically, hot redheads are 1 out of 333 people.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid to click on the link to the "Diminutive Frenchman Unit" being at work and all.

Anonymous said...

this is shit. check out the Czech flying helibike. http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2013-06/watch-insane-helicopter-bike-fly-around

Alicia Browder said...

You did have a very great experience. I do not actually bike everyday but, there are just times when I'd love to bike to go to work. The person on insensitively open his door was not really right. He could have hit the person. I hope that those people who are also driving cars should respect cyclist. -www.naturasil.com