Thursday, July 11, 2013

Riding Roughshod: The Game Is A Foot

Omigod I'm so HILAROUIOUS!  I wrote this funny thing for the magazine "Bicycling," and you can read all about it here:

(I didn't draw that though.)

Oh, the laughter.  Somebody make it stop!  I think I sprained my scranus.

Speaking of HILLARY-ASS-ness, you know what's funny?  When motorists shoot at cyclists!



The above was forwarded to me by a reader who is friends with the cyclist, and I'd like to send that cyclist both a virtual "high-five" and a great big e-Mazel Tov for still being alive.  Also, I was amazed to see that the Sacramento police were actually willing to hang around and search for the bullet.  If it happened here they'd have said "I don't see nothing" and then ticketed the cyclist for not wearing a helment while standing within 15 feet of his bicycle on the sidewalk.

Speaking of sidewalk riding, there was some debate in the comments on yesterday post regarding the egregiousness of engaging in it, and I'll point to Leroy's as being perhaps the most salient among them.

I am staunchly against riding on the sidewalk...however, I'm less staunchly against it the further from the "urban core" you get.  Here's the city in which I live in (in):


For the most part, it's stupid to ride a bike on the sidewalk in a lot of the blue part, where it looks like this:


It's also pretty stupid to ride on the sidewalk in a lot of the the other parts that are fairly close to the blue part, "schluffing" notwithstanding:


However, once you start getting out towards the more suburban edges of the city, where David Byrne and the forces of gentrification fear to tread, and you're dwarfed by multi-lane arteries and speeding cars and there's little if any bike infrastructure, and you don't see other cyclists for several hours at a time, and there are hardly any pedestrians, the situation changes considerably:


Basically, the more car-centric it is, the less I give a fuck about what you want me to do.

Seems fair to me.

[Here's an easy rule of thumb to follow: if you see an Applebee's, a T.G.I. Friday's, an Outback Steakhouse, an Olive Garden, and a Costco within one square mile of each other, feel free to sidewalk away--though sadly and ironically, much of Manhattan now very nearly qualifies.]

And yeah, obviously don't ride on the sidewalk where there are schoolkids, elderly people, invalids, endangered species, frail and brittle Dorothy Rabinowitz-like creatures, and so forth and so on blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, bikes have taken the pages of the New York Times Style section by expensive, color-coordinated storm.  Firstly, it would appear that the city's fashionistas are positively baffled as to what you should wear on your feet while riding a Citi Bike:


Now that bike sharing is sweeping New York, what to wear on your foot? As Ms. Steiber can testify, this is not a trivial question. The correct shoe can make biking more efficient and reduce stress on the knees, shins and feet. The serious bike shoe with cleats that click into the pedals gives cyclists the feeling of being one with their steeds. But the new program’s 45-pound bike is harder to wrangle, and is not made for cleats.

Are you telling me I'm the only person who swaps out the pedals for clipless before un-docking a Citi Bike?  I refuse to believe it.

Some New Yorkers have been channeling junior high, when flip-flops were de rigueur for cycling to the swimming pool or the Dairy Queen. Many have reached for their Converse All-Stars.

I was unable to relate to a single one of those supposedly quintessential junior high experiences.  What the hell's a "Dairy Queen?"  I should add that to my list of establishments that means it's OK to ride on the sidewalk.

But other users of this program are doggedly searching for the ultimate bike shoe, one promising performance as well as versatility to travel from bike to boardroom, cubicle or cocktail party, without making it obvious how you got there. It is bad enough having to carry an extra bag to the office for the switch from walking shoes to work shoes. What woman in her right mind wants to start carrying three bags: one for lipstick, keys, wallet and baby wipes (to pat down after a sweaty bike ride); a second for sneakers; and a third for bike shoes?

Seriously?  It's a Citi Bike, you ride it for like ten minutes.  It requires less effort than walking up the steps from the subway station.  Just take off your shoes, but them in the little basket, and ride it barefoot if you have to.

But things really start getting good when they move on to the men:

Nicolas Cheung, 22, on his way from 47th Street to Fulton Street to visit a friend (“20 minutes,” he boasted), chose high-top sneakers bearing a Lacoste crocodile label. “This bicycle is really hard to ride,” he said, explaining his preference for athletic shoes while wrestling the blue bike. “It works your muscles. It’s really heavy.”

You're not supposed to wrestle the fucking thing, Nicolas, you're supposed to ride it!

And once the bike wrestling starts it's only a matter of time before things got anal.  Artis-anal, that is:

Through word of mouth, some cyclists have found their way to artisanal shoe shops, like Shoe, at 247 Mulberry Street, or No. 6, near the old police building at Centre Market Place. At Shoe, the proprietor, Leila Mae Makdissi, said the Cydwoq brand leather shoes, handmade in California, are designed for walking. But customers have discovered that the steel shank and rubber traction are good for bike riding, too. “Our customer is urban, urban, urban,” Ms. Makdissi said.

Wow, Ms. Makdissi's customers are douches, douches, douches.

Though I suppose the steel shank comes in handy when you stomp the shit out of the Citi Bike after wrestling it to the ground.

I do admit though that the idea a walking shoe might also work for riding a bike totally blew my mind.

Anyway, the whole article is completely moot, since the ideal Citi Bike footwear is obviously a Maxwell Smart shoe phone so you can call your lawyer after they throw you in jail for riding on the sidewalk:


("Would you believe...schluffing?")

And the Style section isn't stopping at the feet.  It's also giving you head, thanks to this bold piece on bicycle helments:


“I like to call it ‘chic cycling,’ where a man or woman dons an edgy helmet to express their personal style,” said Jessica Kaplan, an editor for activewear at Stylesight, a trend-forecasting company. Along with metallic finishes and innovative shapes like those resembling hats or equestrian helmets, she said, “I’m seeing directional prints like polka dots, leopard and tartan that are essentially mimicking runway and streetwear trends.”

Yeah, stop kidding yourself.  They all look stupid, and the slideshow proves it:


That helment looks like Spider-Man's scrotum.

And if all that weren't enough, you can even submit a photo of your "bike style:"

Done, and done:


Notice she had no problem choosing a pair of shoes.

130 comments:

Anonymous said...

Texas scranus

Comment deleted said...

No way!

g. said...

193Podium

Anonymous said...

TOOP TEEN

Anonymous said...

Looka me! I'm on the po...

crap.

Jimboner said...

Yar dude!

Comment deleted said...

Re: Bicycle Helmets as Fashion Statements: that space alien looks much better once her protective goo-layer deploys. She's kind of scary in the first picture.

McFly said...

Top X eating BBQ chicken as I read this. I always feel like I need a shower after I eat BBQ chicken. Like a reader feels like they need one after some of my comments.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Top twenty shoe-in.

Kenny said...

I SEE BRET SPONSORING WORKCYCLES AND PORTAGING LOBSTERS AND A BABY ON TODAY'S POST!

Anonymous said...

Had a Dairy Queen down the street from the bike shop I worked in. We had a DQ bike just for making pick up and delivery of their delicious soft-serve ice milk treats.

I was reprimanded by the teenager manning the window that it was dangerous to ride my bike through the drive-thru.

DB said...

I am first now as I have armed Brifters on my bike and blasted the others off the podium.

babble on said...

WHAT the FUCK is wrong with those peeps? Where are the SAFETY SHOES?

babble on said...

Mmmm nipples... I like the babe's nipples, but she should be wearing six inch safety shoes.

Yarpo said...

Hello CHIEF?...mmMAX here!

Agent 86.

RoadQueen said...

Damn, sucking hind tit again. Congratulations going out to Anon, CD and g. for podium placements!

XO

Comment deleted said...

Mmmmmmm, don't forget the safety sundress, either.

McFly said...

A "Dairy Queen" is a gay guy that works at a milk production facility.

Anonymous said...

Someone give the Makdissi-Bot a wack, it's skipping again.

babble on said...

There's a shoe photo in here that shows how it's MEANT to be done.

Saftey first, after all.

Barton said...

I was hoping you'd pick on the NYT re: the crashbag "helmet." They ripped that article off the Guardian in the UK, who published it over a year ago. NYT: so late to the article-stealing wagon they think no one will notice...

BamaPhred said...

I got one word for those NYC shoe police fashionista wanna-be's, and that word is Babble On.

FRED, how many will opt for "Option 2"? My guess is most will.

Buffalo Bill said...

Got that drug problem licked yet? No?
Maybe you're licking the wrong side, flip her over.

paulb said...

Queens Blvd? Akk. I try to forget its existence.

Flyover Bike Commuter said...

WRM,

You didn't mention the letter to the Bicycling editor, which commented on your monthly column.

That other Flyover guy, doesn't get it. We (meaning all of us provincials who don't live in big cities,thank God) read your column and blog because we are clueless about living and riding in places like NYC (thank God again).

You're our window into the overcrowded world.

Thanks for enlightening us, and putting our very good fortune into perspective.

Sincerely, FBC

Roille Figners said...

SCHL UFFR

Anonymous said...

No one shows better shoe style on a bike than Babble. Especially the boots!

babble on said...

Pick me! Lick me! Dope is for dopes so I'm in like Flynn!
Oh happy day....

And OMG, Snob. What a great idea. You ARE fucking hilarious.

le Correcteur said...

Wow, I used to subscribe to NYT; reading the excerpts in your post make me wonder why.

Has it changed? Or have I gotten choosier in a good way?

crosspalms said...

If you're in DQ country, there probably aren't any sidewalks to ride on anyway.

Anonymous said...

bike snob, I am kissing your delicate fingers for finally writing about the trend of lureing women into the saddle with: fashionable bike fashionistas!

I just puked a little in my mouth after typing that.

However, before I die I want to see some woman somewhere fall off of her fancy girly bike and toatlly eat shit hopefully wearing a high heeled sandal monstrosity, resulting in ruining whatever outfit that would have been painstakingly curated to coordinate with their bike.

bitch*face said...

When ever I see someone wearing flip flops on a bike I think back to when I was 10 and wore flip flops while enjoying a short bike ride with my big brothers. Needless to say the ride ended when the flip flop structure failed miserably causing toe-asphalt contact and mommy had to come get me. It was bad, no shoes for several weeks, no lake swimming, I could not even put my foot into a shoe without becoming a woosie and crying about it.

JB said...

COWC HAOS

crosspalms said...

Thanks for the "schluffing." I didn't know what to call it till now. A couple of years ago I broke my chain on the ride home (god knows how), fixed it twice in the dark, bent the pin on the chain tool, threw the chain away in disgust when the crappy repair broke and "schluffed" the last couple of miles home. It works, in a stupid kind of way.

How much are those green shoes?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Deda straight aero bars about the thickness of a 16 or 12 gauge shotgun shell...hmmm.

Anonymous said...

I'm how popular the Citibike has become, certainly exceeded most peoples expectations including mine. I work at a NY based Dutch company, with a bunch of Dutch expats, and surprisingly I'm the only person who regularly commutes by bike. Now several of my colleagues are doing so on the citibike. Pretty cool, the more (bikes) the merrier. I'm sure Dorothy Rab is turning in her grave at the bikes popularity. Sorry, didn't realize she was still alive.

Roille Figners said...

They found a shoe that's good for walking, AND for bike riding too! I know, right?!?!?! Fuck me, this is going to change the game. This is a game-changer. Before, we were playing checkers, now it's chess. BOOM. You thought you knew the rules, didn't you, you thought we had agreed, but now you're playing catch-up because I just fucking changed the whole GAME on your ass.

Sorry I seem to have digressed into a critique of the shitty fucking phrase "game-changer."

Roille Figners said...

"Dorothy Rab"... hmm...

How about DoRab or D-Rab (kinda like J-Lo or A-Rod).

Example: "D-rab is just hoping not to break a pelvis with all these CitiBike motherschluffers."

I'll have the

Roille Figners said...

unemempe 2b

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

the guy wasn't shooting at a cyclist - he was shooting a skateboardist in the fucking bike lane!!!

Fritz said...

Fashion statement wise I want to see more of the Wilmas in
School Marm Mode

ESTeemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Now that bike sharing is sweeping New York, what to wear on your foot? As Ms. Steiber can testify, this is not a trivial question.

"THIS IS NOT A TRVIAL QUESTION"?????!!!!!!!!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE? - IT IS THE TRIVIAL QUESTION OF THE FUCKING CENTURY!!!
FUCK!!!

I QUIT!!!!

JB said...

Fritz, those are thigh-highs, correct? I need those to be thigh-highs.

THYE HIZE

Freddy Murcks said...

Leave it to the navel gazers at the NYT Style Section to feature people who feel the need to worry about what outfits best go with a Citi Bike. I groaned audibly when I saw that this morning.

However, as I write this, I am realizing that the people featured in that article, who I initially thought were foppish twits, are really no different than the ordinary freds who wear special (lycra) outfits for fredding around. The NYT's foppish twits are just fashion freds. The anti-fashion promoted by the Grant Petersons of the world is slightly less foppish but no less fredly.

In short, I think that we can agree that anyone who thinks that there is any way to look fashionably cool on a bike is an idiot.

16 secutee

Jed said...

Just busted my knuckles changing those citibike pedals out for clipless. Garmin 810 bracket is a bitch to mount too. You can bring a Fred to the city, but make sure his water has skratch in it before he drinks it. Gotta fly...

Fritz said...


THYE HIZE

Ha... that works for me

Matt said...

I've had a local Wells Fargo bank refuse to take a deposit from the drive-through lane because I was on a bicycle and it was, you know, dangerous, because it like, didn't have a motor. This from a company whose logo is a horse-drawn stagecoach. They sent the checks back out in the vacuum thingy. Fuck 'em, I looped around and deposited them in the drive-through ATM.

Sad but true said...

What no inane comment from CJ yet today?

Perhaps the 21 year old he was boning dumped him after she found out he was writing about the whole torrid affair on the internet in Snobbie's comment section!

Comment deleted said...

Freddy Murcks...agree in principle, but Babs.

Anonymous said...

I think Leroy should have felled the beast mentioned in a post earlier this week.
After a visit to the taxidermist he could have been sporting the shell as a new trophy helment.
Wait that's the new fashion trend in like Montana as a collabo of firearms, killing small helpless creatures, and bike safety.

Frilly Chick said...

D-Rab! Ha! Very funny RF.

I feel compelled to say something about the fashionistas, however I'm going to be in full Wilma mode after work & in no position to judge anybody. So, ahem, lovely day we're having today, isn't it?

Etherhuffer said...

Freddy Murcks...go to Amsterdamm! Ladies in dresses with flowing blond hair riding with their umbrellas up! You have to see it...

Comment deleted said...

Etherhuffer, Berlin, too. There ain't much sweeter in life than the parade of skirted and sundressed frauleins cycling the midsummer strassen.

dcee604 said...

Dairy Queen is married to Burger King, and then they had a Jack in the Box!

Anonymous said...

Copenhagen ladies seem to have the longest legs and shortest skirts!

Anonymous said...

What position is the default when in Wilma mode?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Flyover Bike Commuter,

Where was it? I didn't see it...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Etherhuffer said...

@anon 1:59 Yes, I saw that too.

And Berlin. And Paris. And Prague

Being from Seattle, you come home and just want to kill yourself or emmigrate.

Anonymous said...

Snobbie:

You forgot to mention other proof of Viagra usage in your funny Bicycling article (as Robin williams can be credited for in a stand up routine): No kickstand on the bike (this one's for you McFly)!

And today the bucket of urine in FRED's hand has even more poignancy!

Frilly Chick said...

Anon 2:01, Can't speak for others. Pour moi, the default Wilma position is back of the pack desperately hanging on, panting like Leroy's dog chasing some bitch's tail, and questioning my definition of fun. And as ridiculous as it sounds, I can't wait!

janinedm said...

I've always wanted to go to a Dairy Queen. Are they any good?

CommieCanuck said...

Here's an easy rule of thumb to follow: if you see an Applebee's, a T.G.I. Friday's, an Outback Steakhouse, an Olive Garden, and a Costco within one square mile of each other, feel free to sidewalk away...

So...everywhere, except parts of remote Kazahkstan. Ironically, they sell bikes at Costco, but they don't give out taste samples.

CommieCanuck said...

I've always wanted to go to a Dairy Queen. Are they any good?

I find the ice cream is better at Drama Queen, but the waiters throw it in your face and walk away in a huff.

Flyover Bike Commuter said...

WRM,

It's in the in the Letters to the Editor section- or whatever they call it-in the old-fashioned paper version.



ChamoisJuice said...

BLIZ ZARD

Pffft, if you looks stylish off the bike, you look stylish on the bike.

LOLOLOLOL at how uncool the commetariat on this blog is. Yes, let's all take fashion tips from Canadian cougars, desperate for attention. FANTASTIC IDEA.

McFly said...

We had a Dairy Queen but there was some franchise fiasco and now it's a Dairy Delight. We bikecycle to it and eat the ice creams then bikecycle back. It's awesome. It's even incorporates a Sketchy 4-Lane Crossing which is always good times.

Freddy Murcks said...

CommentDeleted, EtherHuffer, and one or more anonymice -

I should clarify: (1) It is definitely possible to look attractive while riding a bike. (2) Even though fred a pejorative term I don't necessarily mean it that way. For instance, I accept that I am a fred and I like myself nonetheless. And (3) Where people go wrong, in my opinion, is in thinking that you can coordinate your outfit to your biking activity and that it is going to somehow make you look cool. Those attractive women that you refer to are attractive because they are attractive, not because their skirts color coordinate with their saddles.

I should stress that all of the foregoing is just my opinion. Even though I love biking with all my heart, I think that there is something inherently dorky about it.

menaryi 338

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

As usual, CJ has proven himself to be a complete fucking idiotic asshole. And CJ, why don't you take fashion tips from King Oedipus and gouge out your fucking eyes with a stick. That'd be a neat trick.

crosspalms said...

Freddy Murcks,
Agreed, but I still like those green shoes. They match the color of my cat Midnight's eyes, and it'd be nice to match something once in a while. If they're artisanal shoes, though, I suspect they're more than $100 a pair, which is the line above which I start to fret.

Roille Figners said...

Matt - should've taken all your money OUT of that shit.

T Tiger said...

I think Canadian cougars are Grrrrreat!!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Flyover Bike Commuter,

So what does it say?

(You're going to have to hold my hand through this one.)

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

"So what does it say?"
- WCRM

"As a general rule, I abstain from reading the reports of attacks upon myself, wishing not to be provoked by that to which I cannot properly offer an answer."
- Abe Lincoln

Flyover BC said...

WRM,

I looked at that letter-to-the-editor again, over at the bike store.

I may have made too much of that guy's comments, except to note that he used the word naivete (you) and flyover (us) in the same sentence.

Flyover Bike commuter said...

To summarize,

he laughed at the (previous month's) column about riding a bike to get to a group ride.

He said you are naive about the realities of biking in flyover country, where you might have to go 20 or even fifty miles to get to group ride. He mentioned riding 21 miles to do 50 mile group ride, and then 21 home again.

I wouldn't make too much of his comments. It's not like we have t.v. or any of those other big city diversions out here. So there's plenty of time to ride.

CommieCanuck said...


It's in the in the Letters to the Editor section- or whatever they call it-in the old-fashioned paper version.


"Retards who can write".

BikeSnobNYC said...

Flyover Bike Country,

I am less naive about that part of the world then I seem, though of course I am obviously NYC-centric.

I have ridden 20 miles to and from group rides, and I have driven 20 miles to and from group rides.

It's all good just as long as you don't incorporate Rollerblades.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...
CJ, why don't you take fashion tips from King Oedipus and gouge out your fucking eyes with a stick. That'd be a neat trick....

Yes, but Oedipus did that because he fucked his mother, and CJ is going in the opposite direction...


Lumpen Fredetariat said...

On a more pleasant note, Frilly, pictures of the Wilma please... I am sure you are not going to look all D-Rab on us

Flyover BC said...

WRM,

It's obvious from your writings that you ride as much and everywhere you can.

As a commuter, my biking experience is limited hundreds or thousands of repetitions of the same 7-30 mile routes.

We flyovers shouldn't take for granted how good we have it. If I lived in a really big city, I probably wouldn't bother with a bike.

But we still think you're a little out of true for
uh... I mean..

we admire your dedication to the grand adventure of living and biking in NYC, and sharing your perspective and experience with us.




Comment deleted said...

The less attention you pay to that micropenis, the less he'll hang around. He's still smarting from Babs' smackdown a few weeks back.

DB said...

Crosspalms:
I liked the Fanner 50 that you probably made your neighborhood safe with when you were a young in'.
I sported the Yancy Derringer model myself, the one that you could hide in your shirtsleeve and ejected when you bent your wrist a bit.
My wife had the Have Gun, Will Travel model.
I believe I've just aged myself.

Comment deleted said...

DB: James Bond 007 spy rifle with grenade launcher and pistol hidden in the grip. That fucker fired real plastic bullets.

Yeah, I'm old, too.

DB said...

CD:
I'm glad we grew up in an age when toys were dangerous.

Flyover BC said...

Dang!! All I had was a Kentucky Rifle my dad Whittled from a piece of lumber. It's really hard to conceal a Kentucky rifle up your sleeve, unless you have long arms.

I had one of those Secret Sam sets too. It broke apart after a few months. But them Kentucky rifles were built to last.

Fritz said...

Toy guns I had an arsenal ...especially my Man From Uncle Napoleon Solo Pistol/rifle

that thing today would get you shot to pieces by the NYC police dept

Comment deleted said...

Yes, Fritz, but to be fair, lying on the ground and presenting your back to the NYPD in a threatening manner will also get you shot to pieces.

DB said...

The tuxedo I rented for my wedding was the James West model from The Wild, Wild West.
I thought I looked pretty sharp.

wishiwasmerckx said...

YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!!!

Fritz said...

Comment Deleted you forgot to add
holding a cell phone like it was a gun, they turned one guy into a colander for that

Matt said...

The real weapon of desire when I was a kid was the Johnny Seven OMA. OMA stood for One Man Army. Man, it was the greatest thing ever and I wanted one with all my heart. Watch this commercial (Johnny 7 OMA) to see why such lust stirred in my gunslinging loins. I didn't even know about the helment! It looks like my current cellphone plan!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Colander, indeed...

If memory serves me right, both Amadou Diallo and Sean Bell collected around 50 bullets...

You know, the fatal first shot plus the 49 "insurance" bullets to make absolutely sure that there was no pesky survivor to dispute the official Police narrative of how it all went down.

Dooth said...

Late! Couldn't decide which shoes to wear.

Fritz said...

wishiwasmerckx

Exactly

Anonymous said...

I had a fashion faux pas today.

My shirt matched my bar tape, and my sweat soaked bandana matched the paint on my 25 year old bike.

I'm color blind and didn't noticed until the folks on the commuter train pointed it out. One of the ladies said it's obvious that I'm color blind, but not today.

d2 said...

The NYT Fashion Squad would die on the spot if they saw what Bellingham-sters wore to a nice restaurant let alone what we wear on our bikes!

Anonymous said...

I had been using stiff-soled jogging shoes with toe clips that worked just great but now have two varieties of clip less. meh!

Anonymous said...

The life expectancy of a Citi-Bike is 3-5 years assuming 10-15 usages per day (pg.4), then what?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Now when I die I don't want no coffin
I thought about it all too often
Just strap me in behind the wheel
And bury me with my CitiBike.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

100

BamaPhred said...

And for cycling footwear, I give you Sheldon Browns' SPD sandals.

McFly said...

I got me a .22 single shot when I was 8 and was allowed to shoot the crap out of it on a daily basis. We were drilled in gun safety to be fair. This IS Tennessee.

Hey me and the fam were thinking about visiting NYC this fall. Does Nashbar or Price Point offer an adapter to fit Profile Design TT BARS to a Citi Bike?

After yesterday's stage we now call them TeeTee Bars.

Anonymous said...

CJ is right.. The Canadian Cougar is desperate for attention... It's sad to watch actually..

babble on said...

Haters always gonna hate. Can't let 'em infect you...
Baby cakes just needs his love cup filled up.

Roille Figners said...

What's not to like about a Canadian cougar?

Mr Plow said...

Sky penis

Anonymous said...

Are you telling me I'm the only person who swaps out the pedals for clipless before un-docking a Citi Bike? I refuse to believe it. *BSNYC you hit me where it makes me giggle every time!

On my commuter bike I opt for a full faced downhill mountain helmet on a GT hybrid (front suspension) with drop bars. On longer roadbike rides I wear my $167 bell helmet.

leroy said...

For Citibike riding I favor a full team kit.

Takes the guesswork out of coordinating an outfit.

Only downside is my dog keeps submitting our photos to "Bitch Stole My Look."

(He's just peeved because he got chased by a turtle instead of a Canadian Cougar.)

Anonymous said...

Oh I always wear SPD or Keo with sidis

Anonymous said...

Hey FBC.....eat a thick one you throwing cats off the top of grain silos, piggly wiggly shopping, hardees eating chromosome smasher...

Satyndra Kumar said...

Nice

Stuart said...

You don't know what a Dairy Queen is??? It's all over the Net: Osama Bin Laden knew what a Dairy Queen was! Owning his own Dairy Queen was number two on his bucket list: 1)Blow up Twin Towers, 2)Open his own Dairy Queen. He was particularly fascinated by the DQ Dilly Bar. He was already dreaming up ad slogans for his very own DQ: "The Dilly Bar in Kandahar!" Please, someone tell me this article at thedailyrash.com is a July Fools joke.

Stuart said...

Okay, my bad. I found out it was satire.

Anonymous said...

I don't think she is looking for attention so much as she is longing for dicktension.

McFly said...

Erine has definately got the right shoes on.

RoadQueen said...

It must be really satisfying for you keyboard thugs to make fun of and trash someone that you don't even know.

Haters gonna hate indeed. What a miserable existence it must be to have so much bile incorporated into your lives. I pity you.

Ever hear of the Golden Rule? Might want to try it out sometime.

RoadQueen said...

McFly,

I'm diggin' the top and skirt, but I'm not a huge fan of the shoes...

RoadQueen said...

HEY RCT! Nice Century snag. :)

McFly said...

I thought the "Golden Rule" was no more than 3 cc of urine per 10k on any given Time Trial?

CommieCanuck said...

I thought the golden rule was about peeing on turtles.

Ok thugs, let's meet up at the usual spot tonight and totally /ctrl+alT+V someone.

MS Werd.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

The golden rule is Don't fling pee unless you like it flung back at you.

Anonymous said...

Dairy Queen is awesome! From the lowly Dilly bar on up. I am particularly pleased when attending a birthday party with the the little sprinter if they serve a DQ cake. I think there's one at the Staten Island Ferry terminal, otherwise it might mean a trip upstate.

Fritz said...

Tour De Remi

McFly said...

RCT I am pretty sure you "fling" poop. One "squirts" pee. Get it right man.

RoadQueen said...

McFly and CC:

I think you're getting The Golden Rule and The Golden Shower mixed up here.

RCT has it right...kinda.

Just to clarify, my Golden Rule comment was directed at CJ and the Anon that were taking cheap shots at Babble.

Boyz got no game...

JB said...

DQ is fine, but those ice cream cakes are horrid.

ChamoisJuice said...

Sad but true:
"What no inane comment from CJ yet today?

Perhaps the 21 year old he was boning dumped him after she found out he was writing about the whole torrid affair on the internet in Snobbie's comment section!"

Au contraire, I was busy at work.

21 year old is addicted to the lingam. 75% of the time, we bang like angry rabbits and smoke hella herbs, and this is good. Roille was right: the youngsters are easy to impress with old tricks, and reward you with puppy dog loyalty.

The other 25% of the time, she really gets on my nerves. Holy shit, once she starts talking, it doesn't stop. I have never got so many text messages in my life. I have been thinking about an exit plan.

The 27 year old artist moved to Portland. She is a really cool girl....I am going to visit her.

My ex came and visited me. God, I am still madly in love with her. She is the rare hot ginger. The stereotypes about redheads are true: fiery in the sack, fiery temper. She is too smart to be with me for real, but she keeps coming back for BONE ZONE.

ChamoisJuice said...

Subdivision based on the size of vagina:

The four orders of women, Padmini, Chitrini, Shankhini and Hastini, may be subdivided into three kinds, according to the depth and extent of the Yoni(vagina). These are the Mrigi, also called Harini, the Deer-woman; the Vadava or Ashvini, Mare-woman; and the Karini, or Elephant-woman.

The Mrigi has a Yoni six fingers deep. Her body is delicate, with girlish aspect, soft and tender. Her head is small and well-proportioned; her bosom stands up well; her stomach is thin and drawn in; her thighs and Mons Veneris are fleshy, and her build below the hips is solid, whilst her arms from the shoulder downwards are large and rounded. Her hair is thick and curly; her eyes are black as the dark lotus-flower; her nostrils are fine; her cheeks and cars are large; her hands, feet, and lower lip are ruddy, and her fingers are straight. Her voice is that of the Kokila bird, and her gait the rolling of the elephant. She eats moderately, but is much addicted to the pleasure of love; she is affectionate but jealous, and she is active in mind when not subdued by her passions. Her Kama-salila has the pleasant perfume of the lotus-flower.

ChamoisJuice said...


Man ponders fleeting beauty; Amy blames the '80s

ce said...

What you browsing my Chromie?

Bust a caps lock IN YO ASS, MO'BOARDFUCKA!

(Wow, I've managed to simultaneously make an idiot of myself in the eyes of both nerds and thugs, and of course, nerdy thugs)