Wednesday, February 20, 2013

It's Wednesday, and the air is thick with stupidity and grilled meats.

Do you get off on idiot porn?  Do you get hot and bothered watching two complete idiots moron-humping each other?  If so, you're going to make a big mess in your pants watching these two double-digit IQ numbskulls going at it:



("Gonna give you every inch of my dumb.")

Here's the filthy video, as forwarded to me by a reader, though I'm warning you it's not safe for work--assuming you work in an environment where people have brains and are offended by stupid idiots:



If you weren't able to watch, the subject of the video is "The Wimpification of America."  Evidently awhile back President Obama said, "I'm a big football fan, but I have to tell you if I had a son, I'd have to think long and hard before I let him play football."  Clearly this is a problem, because he's the President of America, and everybody American knows that thinking long and hard about anything is for pussies.  Then the douchetard with the creepy dyed Andy Warhol hair goes on to say the following:


"He's talking about if he had a son he'd think long and hard about football.  Uh, parents in terms of immediate risks to their children might want to think more long and hard about, uh, bicycling, which the President, I know, seems to enjoy, uh, on his vacations.  I mean, in terms of people getting killed that seems to be the greater threat than football and yet we don't really talk about that."

As this idiotic mental pre-cum oozes from his mouth, we see this image of Obama bicycling wildly and irresponsibly:


(Obama rides almost as often as he shoots skeet.)

Of course, if you're one of those pussified Americans who thinks, it probably occurred to you that the leading cause of death among American teenagers isn't bicycling or football.  It's actually driving.  Here's something I read on an insurance company's website, so I know it's true:


The Epidemic


  • Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among American teenagers, killing between 5,000 and 6,000 teenagers every year.
  • No other kind of hazard comes close to claiming as many teenage lives, including homicides (13 percent) and suicides (11 percent). (2002 figures)

Of course, we're not allowed to acknowledge this in America, because if kids can't drive then how are they supposed to get to football practice?

Next, things start getting really steamy when the other idiot gives us a wide open beaver shot of the inside of her vacuous skull:



"Football is such a part of the American culture and I'm not talking about the European kind of football where they score like, what, one goal a game."

Wait, is she talking about that weird foreign sport that we call "soccer?"  The one that pretty much every single kid in America plays?  And since when do they score lots of goals in American football?  In the last Superbowl each team scored a total of four goals.  (I had to look it up because I'm not a real American.)  I think she's confusing "goals" with "points."  Actually, FIFA should take note, because apparently if they make each goal worth 1,000 points then they'll have the most popular game in America.

Then she adds:

"What does it say about our society if the President comes out and says 'I don't know about that sport?'"

Well, let's see, he's a lawyer and he would have reservations about letting his son play football.  Holy shit, I know what it says!  It says he's Jewish!  A Jewish President?!?  Talk about the wimpification of America!

After the shocking revelation that our President is a nebbish, Warhol Hair starts stroking his massive stupidity cock into a state of florid, purple hyper-arousal by saying that football is important to "character building"--unlike riding bikes, which somehow makes you reckless and a pussy at the same time.  This gets the other idiot so wildly hot that she jumps on his pulsing moron dick and says:

"I'm not sure that you would really turn to a bicyclist and say 'I want you to be the guy in the trenches with me.'"

He agrees at the laughable notion that a cyclist could make a good soldier:

"You wouldn't say, 'I need a cyclist,' right!"

And together they collapse in a sticky, sweaty, moronic heap.

So to recap:

1) We should discourage children from riding bikes;
2) Football builds character in a way that riding bikes does not;
3) Nobody would want to fight alongside a cyclist.  Gays?  Begrudgingly.  Women?  If we have to.  But cyclists?  Fuck that.

Impressively reasoned.

Now, I should stress that I have nothing against kids playing football--even though I too would actually (gasp!) think about it if my own kid wanted to play.  However, if we really want to become a nation of wimps, I can think of no better way than discouraging kids from riding bikes.  As it is, our inability to get around without driving is turning us into a nation of flabby, impotent diabetics, so why not do away with those precious few years that kids are actually able to get around under our own power?  Instead, they can all be lumbering mounds of obesity who slowly crash into each other on football fields.  This will build character--the sort of character that compels you to fly into LaGuardia with a loaded gun:

(He's protecting our Second Amendment rights, unlike those craven cyclists.)

Anyway, if I were Warhol Hair, I'd worry about the fact that the only thing Americans are able to do anymore is invent iPhone apps--and now that the Chinese are hacking the shit out of us to steal them we won't even have that anymore.  Maybe we can challenge them to a great big game of football, because if Obama had any sense he'd base all his policies on the movie "The Longest Yard."

Of course, the only thing Americans love as much as football is grilling meats, and a number of readers have alerted me to the Backbrat, which should cause people like Walhol Hair to experience a considerable amount of cognitive dissonance:



Longtime cycling fans will recall Jan Ullrich used a similar device to win the 1997 Tour de France.

Lastly, speaking of real Americans, Klaus of Cycling Inquisition forwarded me this:


Note the Star of People Who Have Reservations About Letting Their Children Play Contact Sports on the aerodynamic headtube.

Now that's character.

132 comments:

Yarpo said...

Podium?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

winner

Anonymous said...

POOO DUMM

Yarpo said...

HOLY SCRANUS NIPPLES!!!!

This is Meh-tastic!

Roille Figners said...

Have I breached the toop teen?

rwaiee feenyay

Marcel Da Chump said...

Scranus character building.

Anonymous said...

Top TEEN!

Yarpo said...

Okay. Now to read the post, then find that gawddamn slow leak in the rear tire of the commute bici, patch the fuck outta it, then pedal, pedal, pedal to work.

I NEED COFFEE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE ARE THE PODIUM GIRLZZZZZ?

WANTS KISSES ON ME FACE-CHEEKS!!!!

Oh yeah, congrats to EstComDaddoOne and Anon 11:38. Proud to share the podium with all y'all.

Anonymous said...

Top 10 for ME!!!!

babble on said...

Comment jumping...

Anonymous said...

I heard the leading cause of death is life.

Thickerer said...

Air is think?
I'm SO confused!

le Correcteur said...

Top twenty and read; 107 hosplym. I'm back!

Roille Figners said...

I dunno, I'd say facing down distracted overpowered morons and DEATH ITSELF on a daily basis builds plenty of courage & character. More so than say, hauling your overpaid ass to a TV studio and talking shit for 3 minutes because there's nothing else to say. Wouldn't make a good soldier? I can stab and shoot motherfuckers just fine. Believe me, you want me on your side, not the other side. MOTHERFUCKER.

rwaiee feenyay

Fritz said...

The Pres won't let his son...which by the way does not exist... play Football, BUT he will send your son or daughter into a Combat zone in Defense of the Massive US Mil Industrial Complex in a New York nanosecond.

Its like that and that's the way it is

le Correcteur said...

Wow, I never realized that I needed a barbecue on my bike until I looked at the Backbrat.

But I'm waiting for the dual purpose hiking version, which I can cheat by using on a bike, too!

Yarpo said...

Uh Snob....ixnay on the ink-thay on the itle-tay. Replace with ic-thay?

Warhol Hair? Looks like a toupee to me, or pressed roadkill. Deserves a boot to the nut-sack, swiftly applied.

McFly said...

Prom Night. 1991. Best Western Hotel. Murray, KY.

She had the same look on her face as the woman in Image #5.

DB said...

Rupert Murdoch=Wall Street Journal=Fox News=idiots

The Cyclists Wife said...

I think Warhol Hair is actually wearing a toupee. I can't believe this garbage get's classified as "news". Horrid, yet amusing.

McFly said...

Lil Man was on a "rec" soccer team late last summer. They won their first game 22 to 1. It was reoccuring theme throughout the season.

It was awesome.

babble on said...

Ah fuck. There's no hope for the human race.

Nice writing, though, Snob. You could work for Hustler.

Velocodger said...

Really great post, and I haven't even finished reading it!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Holy shit! What an exquisite piece of social commentary. Well done sir. I didn't even watch the idiot porn. I'll do that while I eat lunch and reflect further.

Why don't you run for president or pope at least Wildcat?

onferate 105

Thickerer said...

Whoa... Wednesday afternoon and all of a sudden I have found clarity!

Comment deleted said...

Lone Wolf and a stupidity orgy all in one beautiful post! It dudn't git any better'n this.

DB said...

Everybody I know who played football in high school are having their knees surgically repaired while us swimmers, cross-country runners and cyclists are still in great shape.

Anonymous said...

mid-pack fodder, but GOLD SNOBBY GOLD:

"Actually, FIFA should take note, because apparently if they make each goal worth 1,000 points then they'll have the most popular game in America."

Buffalo Bill said...

As dumfuk explains: '...and a lot of energy leads to hard work...'

what he fails to realize is that by thinking a little you might be able to get better results without all the work.

The lone wolf is sporting quite the aerobelly in that shot, or is that his jewish doppleganger?

9108 eaterrir?

crosspalms said...

Me Tarzan. You Jane. We Wall Street Journal editorial page.

theEel said...

weed1st!

mikeweb said...

At 1:55 of the idiot porn movie:

"...that, uh, hard work comes from a lot of effort..."

The fact that someone pays these people actual money to open their mouths and let these words come out and be recorded for other people to hear is amazing to me.

Oh wait, they're paid by Ruppert Murdoch? I'm no longer amazed.

Blog Drafter said...

The people I ride with smile when they ride. I do too. Riding a bike is moving meditation...you can't think about it, you just have to do it. The result of that mind state is happiness. People driving cars aren't necessarily evil but driving a car is a much more disassociated activity, which leads to lots of thinking and, many times, hostility towards themselves and others.

Cars don't kill people, people kill people.

Also, Scranus.

Anonymous said...

Some paratroopers jump out of a perfectly good plane with a folding Montague mountain bike. I've never seen a paratrooper jump out with a football though.

mikeweb said...

Drafter,

I agree with your profound existential ideas.

Especially the very last line.

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd!

football...darwin...superdome goes dark...talking toupees...the end is nigh, and I oughta know? What happened to give peas a choice? or summat?

1641 diefast

(that's surprising)

crosspalms said...

"The joy of cycling, now with brat and beer." Tempting. And I like the graphic that shows the different sizes of German sausages.

Anonymous said...

Watching that videeeeo inspired a feeling that I should get alarmingly drunk very early today.

For your pleasure, a corpse reviver:
2 parts cognac
1 part apple brandy or Calvados
1 part sweet vermouth

mikeweb said...

crosspalms,

Some people say that it's not the size of the Brat that matters, it's how you grill it.

Anonymous said...

I guarantee that warhol hair never played a single down of football. I'd love to see him return a punt in the NFL and see if that changes his opinion.

Etherhuffer said...

And imagine what they think about synchronized swimming.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford is turning into a real pillhead. He could do worse.

Kenny Banya said...

Now that's a combover you can set your watch to.


2548 itsdayn

Anonymous said...

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANIES!!!

[FYI Tiffanies is in Babbles panties]

crosspalms said...

The female half of Dumb and Dumber also asked if they were trying to get rid of the dangerous helmets in football. It's like watching one of those Russian dash-cam videos, only with WSJ types instead of cars and trucks. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Ah, football... A great game that helped decide the course of my life as I was granted admittance to a decent dating service called college through my play. That said, I too would think long and hard before pushing a son to play. I can't count the concussions, but I can count the cat scans. The research coming out on head injury is frightening and I identify with some of the symptoms. That said, the best thing I ever did was quit and buy a new mtn bike. The coaches don't let you smoke doobies mid game and cycling is way harder than any football practice or game. Oh, and was I a woosie for riding a bmx in full pads to practice? No, just confused.

Anonymous said...

this could have been a multiple choice question:
"What does it say about our society if the President comes out and says 'I don't know about ...'"
1. economics
2. telling the truth
3. benghazi
4. anything except good speechifying and golfing


Anonymous said...

Geez, tried to comment but can only rant, so I will say great job Snob and leave the commentariat to the professionals.

erikbeng said...

I don't think the WSJ actually expected people to watch that video...horsemeat!

Anonymous said...

OOOOH Just can't resist. Get me an West Point football player yah, 2-10, I want some of that to send out on a mission. I know, unfair, just sayin'

Anonymous said...

bicycling is dangerous - I purposely buzzed one of those wimps this morning to "teach them a lesson." it was a mom with a kid in a carrier and they were riding down a quiet residential street - sure I was going twice the speed limit but this is america and bicycles aren't anywhere in the constitution. our founding fathers didn't ride bicycles!

ken e. said...

EXST ENTL
SOUR KRQT
LNCH TIME

DB said...

Hey, Folks, off-topic, but my daughter is getting married in a few months in Queens at Studio Square. Anyone been there? Is it a good venue? Anything we should know?
Thanks.

Anonymous said...

DEAR LANCE.....THEY CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR TITLES, YOUR JERSEYS, YOUR LIONS..........BUT THEY CANT TAKE AWAY OUR LOVE

Bret Bretty McBretski said...

Was there ever some back story to Lone Wolf, or does he just show up from time to time?

I would gander he either owns or owned some mom and pa bike shop or is some kind of gym coach or possibly a karate instructor.

crosspalms said...

On the other hand, if the President came out and said "Don't know much about history, don't know much biology," it would mean he was channeling Sam Cooke, which would be great for our society. Rock on.

dwatts said...

You're killing it Snob! Gonna go play in some traffic now.

1792 efewsb

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I have solved the problem of war....
...no more football.

Ta-Da!


ufuker 36


Anonymous said...

Looks like Lone Wolf has finished his bedazzle project. Just not the same seeing only a picture of his bike without all of him in the shot.

babble on said...

mmm brandy... is it lunch time yet?

Anonymous said...

Hey DB,

I'm with you Bro. All the ex-football players I work with whine about wrecked knees and ankles and are generally 30 to 40 pounds overweight.

Football teaches what again?

jno62 said...

Snobby, you OK?

Someone scratch your smugness flotilla?

I understand grouchy, but you are on a roll.

Hope you feel better

Cognitive Dissonance said...

Sometimes, when I need to run an errand somewhere that's far enough away that I don't want to walk, but not quite far enough away to justify a subway ride, I'll get there by playing a quick game of flag football.

Anonymous said...

Crosspalms, 2:00, nice Sam Cooke reference.

Today I learned that I was among the dumbest 25% of teenage drivers, a larger bucket of stupid than I originally thought.

I never played football and instead surfed all through high school and rode bikes in college.

Nowadays, I notice a lot of management is made up of ex football guys. Perhaps my recreational hobbies are to blame for my stalled career path?

Anonymous said...

So no Cipobrat? Not that I really want to know. Just load the grill and fixins in the bakfiet, go to the social cycling event, and have a smugfest.

Cognitive Dissonance said...

Anonymous 1:46 - Yes. Instead of carting her freeloading little crumbsnatcher around on her commie-cycle, she should be teaching him how to return a punt! (Unless her kid was a girl--she might turn into one of those real-life lesbians who play sports.)

PS Does anyone know of any bbq specific cycling clothing manufacturers?

McFly said...

Lil man did a tri in Nashville back in Aught 10. Blaine Bishop, a former safety/cornerback for the Tennessee Titans was there and did the same course. Lil man, who was 10, beat him by 2 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Well, toupee-head is right about not wanting cyclists in the trenches. When NFL-er Pat Tillman, who rode his bicycle to practice, quit the NFL to join the Army Rangers, he was posted to Afghanistan where our own troops shot and killed him. To their credit, they did feel bad about it, so covered it up.

Anonymous said...

I also expect that toupee-head prefers not to think too hard how the North Vietnamese eventually defeated us in part by running their supply lines down the Ho Chi Minh trail on bicycles.

DB said...

Cog Dis:
I think Rapha makes a Paul Smith inspired BBQ apron in black with pink piping. It comes with a silk headscarf in Team Sky logos.
Anons and Crosspalms: you guys are on fire today.
Nice post today Wildcat.

Wolf Man Jack said...

"purple hyper-arousal". Was there just the other day looking at a picture of Babble in a bikini on her blog.

Anonymous said...

There's plenty of ex-teamsport(fball, Bkball, bball, etc) in rec cycling. Always wondered about elite/pro cycling. Size of athlete? The elite cyclists that I know/know of are not built like linebackers. I just guessed, probably wrong, that an elite athlete, like a Herschel Walker, could do pretty much what they wanted to do.

Anonymous said...

.................everybody American knows that thinking long and hard about anything is for pussies.

I think long and hard when I read Babbles Blog.

bikesgonewild said...

...well...i've certainly heard of "...the jewel in the lotus..." (om mani padme hum-job) but the lone wolf may have single handedly kept swarovski crystal in profit this year with his bedazzled "jewels ON the lotus" bike...

...start with an old olympian project time trial bike designed to weigh approximately 14 lbs, add 35 lbs of cut glass crystal & a gallon of superglue & what do you end up with ???...

...an overweight, sparkly wonderbike you don't wanna crash on or the 'family jewels' might get shredded in the process...

...'member how lone wolf used to carry a six-pack of small water bottles up on his stem/bar mount ???...bet he's carryin' extra crystals n' glue in that bejewelled bento box nowadays...

...no "six-pack" in site...

...just sayin'...

DNK said...

Ah, football. Builds character. I'd rather send a football player on an Army suicide mission than a bicycle rider. (Did those WSJ idiots really say that? I think they did).

On the note of "character building," anyone read about the fracas in Steubenville, Ohio? Last summer, high school football stars gang rape a girl who passed out at a party: not only that, they "tweet" about it and send out photos. What's the problem, you ask? Seems that All-American football is so popular that the school principle and the football coach don't seem to have any problem with it. And then, of course, the inevitable threats against the victim's family. Who apparently corrupted the morals of the towns football stars by having a daughter. Who then got gang-raped....

New York Times article here:
http://tinyurl.com/bo4uokz

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:53,

Nice point.

Glock Industries said...

So Mr. Bowers ARRIVED in NY with his Dirty Harry sized artillery piece. I wonder if the employees of Osama Bin Inc. took notice.

"After a full and fair investigation of the facts and circumstances regarding this registered firearm Mr. Bowers will be fully exonerated'' Bowers's attorney said.

Translation for Main Street USA: Mr. Bowers is a professional athlete and is therefore by default a member of the celebrity class and so can do whatever the fuck he wants to do".

Vegas said...

Wow. Just wow.

Oh, also I couldn't find the "Buy It Now" for the backbrat. Anyone? The beach is exactly a brat-cooking distance ride away from my house!

Thirdlystly, doesn't anybody else think that 5.9 lbs (not kilometres?) per year is not very much sausages for a german to consume? I mean, don't Uhmehricans each that much just during Oktoberfest?

Kevin said...

Both WSJ commentators were just pissed because cyclists can get the same helmet of hair they both have without hours at the stylist.

Lumpen fredetariat said...

@DB "I think Rapha makes a Paul Smith inspired BBQ apron in black with pink piping. It comes with a silk headscarf in Team Sky logos" - biggest laugh of a laugh-filled day, and I haven't even been on the weed or the cognac. Yet.
Now this isn't going to be my probem as I am one of those pussy cyclists who is vegetarian (there may be a tautology in there somewhere), but how are you supposed to keep your bike upright enough to be grilling on the back rack? Put it on the kickstand if your bike is built like that = glowing charcoal on your Sidis. Maybe we need bike cribs after all.

Dooth said...

The WSJ has a point... Warhol Head DOES resemble Wimpy.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does Lotus-riding nebbish-star guy have a beer and mashed potatoes gut that would make an NFL nose tackle green with envy?

Billy said...

WHO STOLE THE LONE WOLF'S BIKE?!

Those were not the regulation white sneakers!

Thank you for watching the stupidity porn so that the rest of us can be amused and angered without suffering brain damage.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw...yarpo, props on the podd...

...a scrantastic achievement...

Anonymous said...

Don't know much about this Kickstarter thing, but should I be concerned if I see a deal that features buy a backbrat, get horsewurst for free? It's hard finding good horse these days, damn Europeans

Anonymous said...

I hate it when I have to look up a crucial word to totally understand a blogpost, but I was extremely satisfied with all the meanings of wimp in German: Niete Schlappschwanz Feigling Schwächling Warmduscher Waschlappen Weichei Knalltüte Schlaffi Nulpe Schwachmat Schmachtlappen. Tomorrows workday will leave my colleagues in awe. I will have a nice name for everyone of them. As for cyclsts for soldiers:

http://www.20min.ch/schweiz/zuerich/story/15561223

MAGgoT a.k.a middle aged German tourist

bikesgonewild said...

...given his known modus operandi regarding other facets of his life, there's certainly nothing shocking in this but just in case you missed it, here 'tis...

..."During his long campaign to clear his name from allegations of doping, Lance Armstrong hired a Washington lobbying firm, the Ben Barnes Group, in 2010 to raise concerns about Jeff Novitzky, the agent leading a federal criminal investigation into his former cycling team, according to an official at the firm...

...While there is no evidence the effort played a role in a U.S. attorney's 2012 decision to close that investigation, the effort shows how far the disgraced former cyclist and his advisers went to try to frustrate efforts to probe Mr. Armstrong's past..."
...

...whether you're tired or not of 'the lance chronicles', it's always nice to get the full scoop...



Jimboner said...

Holy Shit!

Comment deleted said...

Now I am going to be ever-so-eagerly waiting for an opportunity to call someone a "Schlappschwanz". Thanks, MAGgoT.

crosspalms said...

Lumpen Fred't
I think you take the backbrat off the bike before using it to avoid the dreaded flaming picnic. Probably comes with a warning not to ride bike while grilling, too. But for other non-brat-eaters, looks like it'd be perfect for grilling zucchini and (small) eggplant, maybe a red onion. Too bad it's 20 degrees here...

Aaron Allsop said...

Why does somebody with a haircut like that have a chance to talk out loud?

-Aaron who recently watched leadville race

bikesgonewild said...

...basically, short of actually having people whacked, as the nomenclature goes in certain circles, armstrong & his cronies were willing to explore any means whatsoever to achieve their goals...

...whether people found solace in this fraud or not when there were better alternatives is a shame...

...other organizations might have accomplished more in offering comfort with the same funding...

...if armstrong had simply used his fame to direct folks to organizations of their own choice, i might view it differently but his campaign of self aggrandizment & particularly how he benefited from it is despicable...

...absolutely fucking despicable...

Comment deleted said...

BGW, I'm with you -- L.A. is a Schlappschwantz.

Damn, I've got no patience.

Fritz said...

Das stimmt

Anonymous said...

short but very sweet today, Snob

P. Bateman said...

has anyone had any luck with "online dating?" i'm mortified but also looking to for some pretty quick turnaround in the bounce back dept.

oh, and more specific to today's post - snobby, you are getting pretty darn good at this social commentary/idiot busting business. great post.

i love football, but dear god about all that sport churns out is women beating violent criminals. All that whacking of heads is liable to mess you up.

Comment deleted said...

P. Bateman, despite my recent whining about it, I had a pretty great experience with online dating. Lots of hell, too.

Sounds a bit like life, only more so, no?

P.S. Though I'm probably more yankee-pussy than you'd like, I'd totally hit you up if I lived closer.

babble on said...

Here's my take on online dating... in case you missed it last week...

Dirty Hippie said...

U.S. only making apps? I thought they only exported munitions ...

Anonymous said...

Obama is a sporty Grandma

6'1 and 215 lb rider said...

Even as a kid I saw that football was a joke of a sport;
What do you mean the players don't play the whole game!
( special players for offense and different ones for defense!?)
What do you mean that they start leaving while there is still time on the clock!?

What a circle jerk of a joke!

wishiwasmerckx said...

100th, bitches!turrna

Crosspalms said...

APPS AMMO

Anonymous said...

More people are hurt snowboarding than any other outdoor activity, accounting for a quarter of emergency room visits, according to the first national study to estimate recreational injuries.
Trailing snowboarding are sledding and hiking, researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report in the journal Wilderness and Environmental Medicine.
The researchers looked at data on nonfatal injuries from outdoor activities treated at 63 hospitals in 2004 and 2005. They calculated that almost 213,000 people annually were treated for such injuries nationwide.
Nearly 26 percent of the injuries were from snowboarding followed by sledding (11 percent); hiking (6 percent); mountain biking, personal watercraft, water skiing or tubing (4 percent); fishing (3 percent) and swimming (2 percent).
Injuries from gun-related accidents, football and other contact sports were too small a percentage to register in the study.

Flyover bike commuter said...

WCRM,
If you'll look back to an earlier blog, you'll see the blue, six- pointed star on the Lone Wolf's sequined (or is rinestoned) best- lotus-in-the-world.

P.S. you'll need to edit your first book, now that the lone wolf no longer favors white shoes.

Flyover Bike commuter said...

I'd never look to the WSJ for sports commentary, or anywhere for that matter.

And in any case, those WSJ folks, like talking heads anywhere in the world, no virtually nothing about a vast variety of topics. Thye sound like typical New York (transplants) that hate bikes for whatever reason non-biking New Yorkers hate bikes.

They are your neighbors, you teach them otherwise.

I guess they got tired of pointing out that BHO's favored economic policies have proven repeatedly to be failures around the world.

Flyover Bike Commuter said...


Hey Bikes Gone Wild,

From the last two photos of the Lone Wolf, it looks like he'a packing a keg instead of six pack.

The extra weight on the bike is the least of it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

True mixed feelings about the Star if David on the Lotus. I suppose we Jews are obligated to welcome the Lone Wolf as a member of our tribe, but I was kinda thinking we might trade him to the Christians for, say, Tim Tebow?

Vegas said...

Anon 8:35
Do you have the link to the study? From what I have found on the interwebs it is pretty clear that football (and such) injuries weren't "too small" as you say, they were not included in the study at all because they are *sports*, and the study was on "outdoor activities" or "recreation" in the "wilderness."

Elsevier "Most Cited Wilderness Articles

Scopus - Abstract

About - How Safe is Climbing

babble on said...

What. A day.

Thanks for that vivid little interlude, snobbums- it made the day a little sweeter, somehow. xo

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Frilly Chick said...

Kisses for Yarpo!

P. Bateman--see my post the other day regarding eHarmony. 'Nuf said.

Babbs-Loved the bangs on your POF profile. Adorbs! And keep your eye on Peter Swellinger.

And, ahem, RCT, so you're single?

Anonymous said...

GO ON THE YARPO. (ZOD)

ce said...

In my town the only people I see commuting to work by bicycle are those heading to the nearby School of Infantry and Special Forces Training Centre.

Although, they could be POAGs, not real operators who operate on operations.

ce said...

Or officers.

Anonymous said...

a lot of outrage for one post, and rightfully so

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

@frilly

Yep.

Anonymous said...

GWB rode his bike all over his ranch and Fox, WSJ didn't question his courage...what does that say about our society?

babble on said...

Thank you, Sweet Cheeks! And with pleasure - there's nothing I like more than watching a Peter Swelling... er.

McFly said...

Seriously though that name sounds......made up....

Anonymous said...

Just days after shoulder surgery Tilford is back to shoveling snow and working on his van.

db said...

"...and the air is thick with stupidity and grilled meats."

Welcome to Texas!

Socks said...

http://www.usmilitarycycling.com/

laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
laura said...

that shit isn't convincing anyone of anything. the morons who see that and aren't horribly offended by how stupid it is are the ones already yelling or throwing shit at me when i'm riding to work. i pay my damn taxes, sidewalks are for walking and i couldn't play football because i'm a WOMAN and they don't let you even join the team if you want to. really? so every female is already a wimp according to this.

assholes.

Anonymous said...

I finally watched the wimpification vid. I think the point about avoiding "helment contact" was very salient. Fnarr fnarr...

kdt said...

Some recent statistics prove this to be false (I found these somewhere on the Internet so I know they're true facts):

- Nearly 275,000 children ages five to 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for bicycle-related injuries.

- Almost 194,000 children ages five to 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for football-related injuries.

It is a safe assumption that the number of football players is a fraction of the number of cyclists (it's an organized sport requiring significant investment, and very, very few girls participate). It is therefore a safe conclusion that football is the more dangerous of the two activities.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 10:45 - it says it's Republican as fuck.

Anonymous said...

Snob is late This goes in his file.

cycle

Anonymous said...

Ugh! I feel so dirty now.

Matthew Johnson said...

Every once in a while I need to remind myself of why I stopped reading the WSJ. Thanks.