Friday, February 15, 2013

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (Now with 20% more gender and cultural bias!)

Whew, thank Lob it's nearly the weekend!  I'll tell you what, running a blog just doesn't get any easier.  First there's the typing of the words, then there's the clicking of the "Post" button, and then there's the not really having to do anything after that...unless I get an email, at which point the entire day is shot.  Here's an example of the sorts of emails I receive, just so you know what I'm dealing with:


Anyway, they're giving me $10,000 in travel expenses, so in the end it actually worked out pretty well and I'm looking forward to the trip--though hopefully I don't get hit by a meteor like that one that blew up over Siberia:

Russian experts believe the blast was caused by a 10-ton meteor known as a bolide, which created a powerful shock wave when it reached the Earth’s atmosphere, the Russian Academy of Sciences said in a statement. Scientists believe the bolide exploded and evaporated at a height of about 20 to 30 miles above the Earth’s surface, but that small fragments — meteorites — may have reached the ground, the statement said.

Could be, but they shouldn't rule out the possibility it was simply a Russian driver:



Frighteningly, many of these drivers immigrate to Brooklyn, which explains about two-thirds of the collisions you read about on Streetsblog.

Speaking of cars, if you enjoy product review feuds as much as I do (that's pretty much the only reason I accepted that Budnitz), you may be amused by the recent skirmish between Tesla Motors and a New York Times reviewer:


Basically the New York Times guy tried to take a Telsa electric car on a road trip and got stranded when the car ran out of juice.  He says it was because the Tesla sucks and their technicians gave him bad advice, whereas the Tesla guy says he's full of crap and that the reviewer drove the car around in circles to sabotage the test.  Either way, I found it entertaining reading, and perhaps Tesla should start shipping their cars with folding bikes in the trunk.  (In an electric car future, folding bikes will be the new jumper cables in that everyone will have them in their trunk but almost nobody will know how to use them.)

Lastly, commenter "CommieCanuk" sent me this interview from mainstream American television:



The sorts of people who comment in Cyclingnews forums will no doubt be compelled to point out inaccuracies, but if you're not among the terminally retentive (which is very unlikely if you're a cycling fan) you should find it humorous.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see a flying recumbent.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for meteors.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




(Zabriskie attempts to accentuate his individuality by wearing lip hair.)


1) "Do you want to stand out in the peloton? Accentuate your individuality? Enhance the shape of your muscles?"  If so, be sure to:

--Get a tattoo
--Wear a muscle skinsuit
--Ride naked
--Take EPO







2) Sea slugs have disposable _______:

--Eye stalks
--Brains
--Penises
--Heroes of hiphoprisy







3) Watch out Portland!  Brooklyn's getting a:

--"Delight rail"
--"Funderpass"
--"Wonderwall"
--"Sewage Treatment Plant of Awesomeness"







("It's very important that people look at me.")

4) In Portland, this week apparently marks the start of:

--Mini Bike Winter
--Cargo Bike Month
--Unicycle Appreciation Week
--Supersmug Bigmuff Pedalpalooza Bikestock Velofest 2013







(Those shorts don't help either.)

5) Going fixed and brakeless cancels out the inherent dorkiness of riding a folding bike.

--True
--False





(Put an INTEGRATED on it.)

6) Holy crap!  It's:

--INTEGRATED!
--$550!!
--...uh, INTEGRATED!!!
--All of the above!!!  I'll take six!!!!!







7) Reverse steering is the new brakelessness.

--True
--False



***Special No Bonus Question-Themed Bonus Beratement!***

There's no bonus question because sometimes life doesn't give you bonuses.  You know, back in my day there was no "Kindling," and a fathering magazine just meant when daddy beat you with a rolled-up copy of "Newsweek."  Granted that never happened to me, though I did once get a pretty nasty paper cut from a copy of "BMX Plus!"  But that's not the point.  The point is there's no bonus question.  However, feel free to watch a Dutch person ride to the dentist:


You're welcome.

104 comments:

wishiwasmerckx said...

First!

Anonymous said...

POOO DEEM

McFly said...

Is trudi the one with all the shit in her face?

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen my disposable vagina?
Last seen at a red light at the corner of Smith St and Atlantic in the possession of a man with a Sealing Wax Emporium bag in his bike basket.

babble on said...

Happy Friday!!

Stephen Taylor said...

boosh!

Bender said...

Bite my shiny metal ass!

Stephen Taylor said...

Right behind babble on...

CommieCanuck said...

DAMMIT...so close

mander said...

Squeeking into the Top Ten

Fritz said...

Space Rock Friday WooHoo

theEel said...

weed.

Anonymous said...

Top XV and read it too!

Anonymous said...

I'm an 11 wetchie!

CommieCanuck said...

There should be a law where only interesting people like the guy the the Dos Equis ads should be allowed to buy GoPro cameras. I bet his trip to the dentist involved at least three 'splosions and one meteor.


(..and Lance Armstrong raised exactly $0 for cancer research, I couldn't let that go)

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well that was some kind of Valentines Day!

The special lady in my life made Beef Wellington for dinner, but she served it with "a Jew sauce" on the side.

Had no idea she was such an anti-Semite. No choice but to kick her to the curb.

Yarpo said...

Jumping Scranus Nipples!

Is Babble the new Pope yet? Came out of the mountains just in time to see that Pope What-His-Face the XVII$&Yhteenth is calling it quits. Immediately thought of Babble and her Papal Thigh Boots.

Still catching up on the posts...any Cipo news of late? AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Oh yeah, the ice axes strapped to the bike wheels didn't work so well; was forced to use arms and legs, plus lots of pointy shit, to get up those frozen icefalls. Who knew?

Good Job, WIWM!

Anonymous said...

In Russia, hay drive car!

Anonymous said...

8000 editeud

Just couldn't waste that one.

Anonymous said...

Reddit much?

thegock said...

SLUG DICK

Perry said...

I am pretty certain that "Supersmug Bigmuff Pedalpalooza Bikestock Velofest 2013" is a Seattle thing. This year's special hosts will be Mark Arm and Matt Lukin.

streepo said...

scranus

DB said...

Hey! I'm late!
Been on Babble's blog all morning. Got distracted.

Lance said...

No McFly, Trudi is my wife.

DB said...

Snob:
Do you know when your book tour begins? I assume you'll be in Madison and Chicago, not that I'm stalking or anything. Just wondering, making plans, ya know.
I imagine you'll be traveling by private jet but if that doesn't work out I see that Bret Michels and Queensryche are touring this spring, maybe you can ride on the rock star bus.

babble on said...

Jezus. If I had to commute in Russia, I'd have a mickey of vodka for breakfast, too...

The King of Park Slope's junior high guidance counsellor said...

Wrist cancer is bad, m'kay.

crosspalms said...

That Russian video makes me want to spend the rest of the day hiding in the basement. Yikes.

McFly said...

FUN FACT FRIDAY!!!

Did you know:
"Rosanna" by Toto and "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel were both written about Rosanna Arquette?

This deduces only one thing, she has smokin' hot voodoo lovin'.

DB said...

Last comment for awhile.
The Mrs. and I had a nice time at the supper club last night. They had those little plastic swords in primary colors for food spears.
Attention to detail is what makes a quality experience.

Comment deleted said...

I was very disappointed in the Netherlands dentist ride -- there was a glaring lack of jack-knifing big rigs in it.

g. said...

McFly, "In Your Eyes" is "Rosanna" is not.

The song was written by David Paich, who has said that the song is about several girls he had known


Interview with the band in their 80's mulleted glory here.

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd

Spent a few days in NYC during the snow; could that Russian video be in fact Hudson Street? Jeepers...angry driving clueless fookers, and those were just the salmon. Many coppers parked in the bike lanes; you weren't kidding! And to take them out (the lanes) - what a mistake that'd be.

I gave my drooling smile to everyone I passed and only a few people talked about my mother.

babble on said...

Crosspalms - it's alright. The big one is passing us by right about now, and it's not likely to drop in, but if you do see a bright light outside, don't run to the windows to see what it was.

grog said...

Yeah, he's right.
Turn in your yacht, Snobby!
*just kidding*

babble on said...

Forget random acts of kindness, random acts of kissing are the only thing that can save us now.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, the reason there are so many dashboard-camera videos of the bolide is that Russians want to document the various road-rage incidents, insurance scam crashes, and so on, just to defend themselves in court.

Comment deleted said...

Babs, thanks for the encouragement -- I'm about to re-enter the online dating milieu after a long (discouraged) lay-off.

Hmm. That's a pun.

Plus, you are as smoking hot as a Russian meteor.

CommieCanuck said...

oh, those wacky Russians.
Of course, with 30,000 a year dying on US roads, the only difference is that Russians have more dash cams.

CommieCanuck said...

"forget random acts of kindness, random acts of kissing are the only thing that can save us now."

That's what they said before the Great Cooties Outbreak of 1910.

McFly said...

"In Your Eyes" is a song about a real relationship. Peter wrote it during his long romance with actress Rosanna Arquette*. It was a relationship that was difficult, complicated, heartfelt and passionate. The way Peter sums up the complex emotions involved in a serious adult relationship are nothing short of poetic. In just those four lines, he sums up the modern man's struggle to put aside the conventions that men need to be strong and reserved, which conflicts with their desire to show true emotions to the women they love. At sixteen, I knew I couldn't do this yet, but the song made me want to. That's the great power of music - it can inspire us to do more, be more.

Boom. Roasted.

McFly said...

Dammit, Foot in Mouth. I only confirmed your confirmation.

Anonymous said...

For the record I would still Meat Her All The Way.


Pun intended.


1443sicfac

Anonymous said...

Russian driving, what to say? Wonder what COCKSUCKER! sounds like in Russian? And did one guy actually pull a gun?

crosspalms said...

Babble On,
Too late. I ran to the window to see what the bright light was, and it turned out to be another bunch of Russian cars getting struck by lightning, or power lines, or each other, or something. Just stay away from my commute, that's all I ask...

babble on said...

CD - Thank you! I can be a real blast, too...

Please let me know how your re-entry into the dating scene goes for you. I hope you find someone who makes you tingle with excitement anticipation.

leroy said...

My dog asked to borrow my credit card so he can order muscle patterned leg warmers from MuscleSkinSuit.com.

He says he needs five.

Wonder what that's about.

Oh well, he promises me he'll pay me back from his proposed YouTube sequel to today's "no bonus" video. He just needs airfare to Holland for his "Diederick After Dentist" video project.

Ride safe all!

Marcel Da Chump said...

Bonus dentist.

Frilly Chick said...

Comment Deleted--I feel your pain. I gave up trying on-line dating when those idiots at eHarmony tried to match me with a Mennonite.

Seriously! Can you even imagine?!?

I should say he was an ex-Mennonite cuz apparently he got tossed from the community when the divorce was finalized, but still.

National Vodka Council said...

After watching that russian dept. of motor vehicle driving instruction video I'd say TWO mickey of vodka for breakfast before leaving the house must be the law there.

Must have been David Byrne driving the haystack in order to be incognito.

Love the guy driving with the gas station hose still in, you'll never run out of gas that way.

"Midgets who want to fuck their postman's boy friend" Can it get any better....

Went all romanic and got my wife a small ceramic cat that you can put jewelry or oyster crackers in. Dust busters don't come in red.

Pope Babble the I: Wait until the Cardinals set their eyes on her, she'll be a "shoe in".

Professors of Tongue Tied French said...

"Wait until the Cardinals set their eyes on her, she'll be a "shoe in"."

It's the "College of Cardinals". Back in the day the professors were always eye "balling" the co-eds. "Want an "A" on that paper Babble? Snort, snort."

Anonymous said...

That Russian driving video was fucking scary. I sat here with my mouth open alternately sobbing from the fear, scathing from the stupidity and more or less yelling "holy fuck" the whole time. Thankfully it is Long Weekend Friday Afternoon up here in America's Muscletard and the office is empty so no one was around to hear my shame.

crosspalms said...

Thanks to meteor, scranus of steel is now joined by anus of concrete.

crosspalms said...

oops

Frilly Chick said...

Okay, so I tried to watch the Russia driving video. 55 seconds into it I realize I need to wait or take a chance on being fired. Laughing so hard I'm crying!

Comment deleted said...

Frilly, it was probably just bad auto-correct from where you had written "I like a man-a-night".

Just guessing...

crosspalms said...

OK, maybe this time...

babble on said...

Anus of concrete is what happens when you've had so much vodka for breakfast that it's physically impossible to scare the shit out of you.

babble on said...

CD - mennonite... a man a night.. heh heh

Frilly Chick said...

That is funny, CD. My dating life has always been kind of feast or famine & I guess this was during a prolonged period of famine. After that experience, I decided to chill the fuck out and let things unfold on their own.

Anonymous said...

That "Driving in Russia" video brought me back to my high school days when I started driving. Utterly terrifying. Paris Lob I survived!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sorry I'm late I was out in the garage working on my recumbent aeroplane and got a crabon fiber splinter in my finger.

8082 Beateri

Comment deleted said...

Leroy, that disturbs me in a rapey-prehensile-wanged-dolphins kind of way.

Lumpen fredetariat said...

"The sorts of people who comment in Cyclingnews forums"... well I am just a junior member, as trawling the CN forums has been only mildly less painful than being on OKCupid in terms of being overhwelmed by sociopaths with an inflated sense of ego-worthiness and limited tolerance for deviation of opinion...
Frilly, I find it hard to believe you need to resort to online dating, but perhaps you are trying the BSNYC comments board as an alternative.

Dooth said...

The last time I was in Brooklyn I got chased out by an angry mob of bearded, girl jeans-wearing, faux lumberjacks...because I asked, "pardon me, who moved my artisanal cheese"?

DB said...

With the way things have been going for NYC, I wouldn't have been surprised if that meteor had landed there.
Crosspalms: regarding your cologne mishap in high school, my wife teaches at a high school here and says global warming is caused by Axe spray cologne.
Little chilly out, safe ride home.

babble on said...

Apparently some kid died of AXE cologne in the UK a few years ago.

babble on said...

From wiki: On January 12, 2008 12 year old Daniel Hurley from Derbyshire, England died in a hospital five days after collapsing at his home. The medical coroner ruled that he had suffered from cardiac arrhythmia and died from heart failure as a result of spraying large amounts of Axe in a confined space.[37][38] Videos on social networking sites depicted teens lighting themselves on fire. The trend resulted in multiple injuries.[39] In response to the possible safety concerns,[citation needed] the company created two ads, one against the use of Axe as an inhalant, and the other warning of its flammability.[40]

DB said...

Whoa, Babble.
Thanks for the update.
I don't recall any deaths or serious injuries from Hai Karate or English Leather.

3G said...

WHY DO PEOPLE DO STUFF LIKE PUT THE BARS TO GO ONE WAY WHEN THEY"RE SUPPOSED TO GO THE OTHER WAY I DON'T GET IT. AND ALSO

ahhh fuck it. we're doomed

babble on said...

The European Union has tabled legislation to ban certain ingredients in perfumes because they are volatile compounds. Many of the established perfumeries are complaining that they will be out of business. And Channel No 5 will be no more.

babble on said...

3G... yeah, probably.

crosspalms said...

Right Guard was pretty flammable, too (another high school discovery).

Anonymous said...

In the future, can you just show russian traffic videos?
Those crazy drunks are a lot of fun.

bikesgonewild said...

...i used 'royall lyme', made from actual limes, whilst a young man...my parents brought it back from bermuda at a time when royall lyme was a tiny little company...

...that aside...if you can't breath in your partners natural pheromones 'cuz they're masked in artifical scents & chemicals, how do either of you find each others real essence ???...

...& no, i'm not a 'stinky body' kinda guy...

...i'm just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Meteorite, ha!!

Lance was out segment hunting.

DB said...

Anon, 5:53:
More Dirndl's too, please.

Anonymous said...

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS MY HEART AND MY PASSION. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER LOVE?

Roille Figners said...

LOL at the Disp. H. of Hiphoprisy, but then following it up with Supersmug Bigmuff? Gold, Snobby! GOLD! -Banya

Hey Frilly - was he an Old Order Mennonite, or a New Order Mennonite?

rwaiee feenyay

Grump said...

Your imaginary video from "Dutchland" had to have been with CGI. Whoever made this up, left out all the "reality events" that happen to cyclists. I never once saw a car trying do drive in the bike lane. Not one cyclist got doused with "mystery liquid" from a passing car. And the cyclist themselves....Not once did I see a rider curse out a pedestrian (or better yet, run one down. The worst mistake was that nobody yelled "ON YOUR LEFT" when passing.
.

Anonymous said...

@ comment deleted 2:42

'Plus, you are as smoking hot as a Russian meteor.'

those things enter the atmosphere at about 0 kelvin and despite being blazed for a little bit, they can be ice cold to the touch.

McFly said...

In Mother Russia oncoming traffic have right-of-way. Also, if tree fall in Russia and no one there to get crushed by it duz it still make noise?

Comment deleted said...

Anon @ 8:51, while I am intrigued to learn this, I posit that you must be a great deal of fun at parties.

Putin on the Ritz said...

Boris & Natasha were in the car that almost hit Bullwinkle.

Wi-Fi in an Igloo said...

"can be ice cold to the touch." She lives in Canada where the winters are ice cold, so she's going to be cold to the touch.

Dr. Zhivago said...

The drivers run on alcohol and so do the cars. Is good for environment, no?

Anonymous said...

I desire to construct an artisanal bicycle made of poo

Poo!

Poo!

Anonymous said...

WCRM hits home run with Russian driving video link. Gotta open a Moscow chapter of BSNYC. Maybe BSMOSCOW? If car drivers are getting pelted with no regard just think of a cyclist out there.

ge said...

Geez, 2 seconds into that flying recumbent video, I thought I got rickrolled.

Steve Timmons said...

I couldnt have been more shocked by that Dutch video if it had been dead bodies piled along side the road there by which must have been a trainstation? Unvelieveable! And the thumbs down for the disorientated pedestrians and wrongway Uncle Sammies! Hilarious: best bonus since the triathalon smash up derby: ) (i dididnt see one incident with a car?)

Anonymous said...

@comment deleted

its funny you mention that. the thing is, I am a huge gas at parties, all the kids love it when I emerge from my 70s saab and make balloon animals for them.

183 marywoo

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

My nose gets cold sometimes, but not as icy as the inside of a meteor. And it's sooo cold up here in the American ice box that we have to find ways to stay warm just to stay alive.

I am very creative.

Just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...sooo, how cold is it ???...

...& how creative are you ???...

...just askin'...

babble on said...

Exceptionally.

bikesgonewild said...

...'exceptional' answer...

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Yarpo said...

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Take yer Sunny Forex Pasting Porn Jobs and GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE... unless you can solve Anon 1:31PMs mystery and find their disposable vagina which, at last report, was last seen at the corner of Smith St. and Atlantic in the possession of a man with a Sealing Wax Emporium bag in his bike basket. Find that vagina and you will be WELCOME here...sorta.

Oh yeah, call your local Cardinal and tell him to vote for Babble For Pope-stress. NOW GET AFTER IT!

yankees suck said...

hey snobbypants - did you decamp from brooklyn with all the other aging hipsters?