Friday, December 21, 2012

This Just In: It's The Holidays And I'll Recess If I Want To!

So how about that Apocalypse?  Sure, it wasn't total devastation like some were predicting, but nevertheless it was a real inconvenience.  At the very least, I'm going to have to go out and buy new underpants.

Speaking of underpants, that's something you sometimes find under the Christmas tree (either as a gift, or else crumpled up in a heap if you over-nogged it on Christmas Eve), and with the holidays upon us please note that after today's post I will be on a peanut-butter-and-chocolately-delicious Holiday Reese's until Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013, at which point I will return with regular updates.  Until that time, you can bask in the virtual warmth of this holiday yule log:



Or, if you're a Wisconsin drunk, you can gather around the burning Obama instead:


Whatever your party affiliation, that's just disturbing.

In any case, I'll also point out that I had hoped to bore you with a longer end-of-the-year blogular posting, but believe it or not I am a parent (parenting is like riding a bike in that they'll let pretty much any idiot do it), and as it happens I have to strap on my daddy helment this morning and take care of some important parental business.  Nevertheless, I will take the time to direct your attention to this article and video about Jerry Seinfeld:


Not only is it interesting, but it also turns out he rides a Pinarello road bike around the city:

A sleek Pinarello racing bicycle, which Seinfeld rides around town, stood against a wall. “It’s very addictive, that feeling of gliding through the city,” he said.

I had no idea he was a closet Fred, but I guess it goes with the Porsche fixation.

Also, here's video of Jerry Seinfeld "getting rad" on that very Pinarello:



Just kidding.  That wasn't really Jerry Seinfeld.  Also, I bet you never, ever saw that video before, nor are you completely tired of it.  I know I'm not.


Lastly, before we all vanish into our own personal psychedelic tinsel-tastic holiday nightmares, I'll once again remind you that if you're looking for last minute gifts for people you don't like that much you should a) Buy My Books; and b) Patronize Our Sponsors, as seen in the right-hand margin.  For example, not only are Knog lights useful for your bike, but they're also great as beacons so that make-believe planes don't accidentally fly into your make-believe George Washington Bridge:


Yes, that's the George Washington Bridge, because the East River crossings are sooo last decade.  Plus, Knog lights are waterproof so they make great tub toys.  By the way, if you think it's my kid who's playing with Knog lights then you're mistaken.  The block architecture and the tub play is all me, and he knows if he gets anywhere near my toys I'll take away his box cutter.

And with that, I turn you over to the holidays and all the joy, depression, and general ennui that comes with them.  Hopefully you only experience the joy part.  Once again, please excuse my hasty departure, and I look forward to returning on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2013 (holy crap, it's the future!) with regular updates.  (Or even earlier, which is highly unlikely, but not impossible.)

Most of all, thank you very much for reading this crap every day, it makes me very happy to type it.



279 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 279 of 279
Anonymous said...

Nodium.

bikesgonewild said...

...202nd & just think...if all those self serving linked posts formulated in gibberishly written english were eliminated, we'd actually be at like 58 posts...

...just observin'......

wishiwasmerckx said...

Hey, is the third step on the second podium still available?

Guess I will lay claim to it.

Nogocyclist said...

Someone should create a quiz for Friday. Guess I would myself, but that sounds like too much work.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Bunny said...

You can watch for $500

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...

...i think we get like one rose each instead of a bouquet & a bottle of asti spimante rather than champagne but hey, we still get a kiss from a (second tier) podium girl...

...can't look a gift horse in the mouth, ya ???...

babble on said...

Plus you get to watch Bunny for a mere five bills...
What more could you ask for?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey bgw let's make a babble sandwich to go with the asti.

Good Lob it's slow going around here. I've been so bored I've resorted to reading Snob's old articles at Bicycling.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, that's a painful reminder of my real life:

"I have a trophy wife, just not first place."

Yarpo said...

Watching Bunny for five bills?
Uh, I gotta go to the ATM now...

GhostOfTyrone said...

Hey Flammer:

I've noticed that the last 3 letters of your moniker spell out as "Alf" if read backwards.

This reminds me of an idea I can never shake from my head: How is it that an "Alf" spin-off called "Robo Alf" never occurred? Think about it. Keep thinking. If you're going to say "it's because of the failed "Miami Vice spin off featuring a cyborg Tubbs, and the robo-backlash that caused" - well, think about "Small Wonder" and suck on it, Flammer.

My point is, we're living in a world where "Robo Alf" exists, and is being kept from us. My question is: why? My leading theory is that James Cameron is keeping it from us, as Robo Alf's tag line is (obviously) "no problemo" - as all cyborgs from 1991 deliver their tag lines en Espanol.

Anyway, interested to get your thoughts, Flammer.
- GOT

babble on said...

YOU have a healthy, active imagination, mr ghost...

Anonymous said...

Babble sandwiches are OK but you just cannot beat a pink canoe.

La Cos Nostradamus said...

And the answers to today's quiz are;

1. Scranus

2. lob

3. Helment Police

4. Taint

5. Hipster irony

6. Scraqnus tatts

7. Snob drives a Bently not a Rolls.

8. Ironic Irony

9. Cipo's immense man meat

10.Rapha crothless spandex bibs

bone-us question answer

d. bynes's human remains powered unicycle

La Cos Nostradamus said...

And the answers to today's quiz are;

1. Scranus

2. lob

3. Helment Police

4. Taint

5. Hipster irony

6. Scraqnus tatts

7. Snob drives a Bently not a Rolls.

8. Ironic Irony

9. Cipo's immense man meat

10.Rapha crothless spandex bibs

bone-us question answer

d. bynes's human remains powered unicycle

La CosaNostradamus said...

Snob

Can you update your GUI to a post 2000 version so my posts will not double post?

Thank you in advance for your compliance in this matter.

Yarpo said...

Wow! I aced the quiz!
Crothless(the bibs, not me)!

bikesgonewild said...

...okay, bunny...i'll watch for $500 bucks but i have two criteria...

...(1)- you gotta be good &/or at least show a lotta enthusiasm...the sexiest thing about a woman is her attitude...

...(2)- i'd like the $500.00 in one hundred dollar bills, please...

...with that in mind, i guarantee you, i'll be a good audience...

The Hunchback of Nostradomis said...

Apparently a large proportion of BSnyc blog commenterqatti are to hung over to participate in the ongoing borderline psychotic blather.

Alchol Pfreds one and all!

babble on said...

uuuuuuuuuh yup

hic

'nother event tonight, too...

sigh

I can do this

I am not a quitter.

bikesgonewild said...

...deep breath in through the nose, slowly...expell out hard through the mouth...3X...

...eyes on what's to be done...

...damn, girl - you're halfway there already...

...just sayin'...

Yarpo said...

Playing the Willie Colon album,"Asalto Navideno" makes the rum swilling a lot easier, especially if you preceded it with the leftover pernil and arroz con gandules from Christmas dinner.

Burrrrrrrrrp! I LOVE Puerto
Rican Christmas music. It's all about food, fiesta-nating, and the 3 Kings.

Feliz Everything!

order cheap kamagra online said...

Better to do well than to say well

His Wiggoness said...

That's Sir Stanley Wiggins to you from now on.

Anonymous said...

Or SIR Cuntly Wigginton to my friend(s), plebs.

babble on said...

You can call me late for dinner but whatever you do, don't call me Sir Brad...

Yarpo said...

Where's my coffee? I had a rum-botomy and I...oof, who put the wall there?

I *****ed kamagra side effects and I don't want extra headaches and flushing combined with dizziness.

Better to be well than well be...oh fuck, whateverz, man.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Stanley!

Just Another Mouse said...

I don't have any copies of Puerto Rican Christmas Music.

Is this close enough? Song from the Islands

The Dude said...

Is it 420 yet?

Did I miss it again?

babble on said...

Note to self...

Try, try as you might, you will never, ever teach a smartphone to swim.

Give it up already.

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bikesgonewild said...

...note to self - "...no need to reiterate babble on's research...her results seem to be satisfactorily conclusive...a 'smart phone' is just not smart enough for certain 'applications'..."...

...hmmm - bet they could be skipped like a rock, which is a theory i'm tempted to prove with mine on occasion...

babble on said...

They respond well to cursing. This is a trait common to most computers and electronic devices.

The phone went for a swim and then wouldn't even turn off, of all things. The camera is compromised. It still works, but the photos are all cloudy now.

They are getting smarter. The last one had to dry off for a few days, and then it had a very limited life-span. Mind you, the last one soaked in a glass of water overnight, whereas I jumped as soon as I heard this one go ker-plop... that sickening splash...

It sank like a rock, though. Not a swimmer...

bikesgonewild said...

..."...The camera is compromised. It still works, but the photos are all cloudy now..."...

...two words, luv - "...art prints..."...or "...soft porn..."...

...actually, we're so dependant on these damn things, i'm sure initially there was some real anguish involved, ya ???...

...good luck & waiting to see if it all works once it dries internally...

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bikesgonewild said...

...& btw - "...They respond well to cursing. This is a trait common to most computers and electronic devices..."...

...that's true...

...i sweet-talk my bicycles & car through various problematic situations - "...c'mon baby, we can do this...it's you n' me, let's get this together...work with me..."...

...but phones, computers n' such are different creatures - "...goddamit...you piece of shit...right when i needed you most...grrr...i honestly wish i didn't need this fucking thing !!!..."...


...just, you know, sayin'...

The Reverend Charles Manson said...

All this bicycle talk makes me want to make my death zombies harm some completely innocent people, peoples.

babble on said...

Be the change you want to see. (Gandhi)

I'm riding across a bridge today. Burrard St. Back later around False Creek, or maybe Cambie. In a bit.

As I am wont to do.

And you?

bikesgonewild said...

...to be honest, i'm under the weather, even though the weather is lovely...

...i shan't say more as regards that, here...

bikesgonewild said...

...but i do hope your ride is a most excellent adventure...

babble on said...

Yes, it sure was - as ever and always on a clear and bright night like tonight... it is absolutely gorgeous out there!

Sorry to hear you're not well. may you find the where-with-all to go for a ride soon - it's really good for boosting the immune system. (Lots of Vitamin D during the winter months is a very good idea, too.)

bikesgonewild said...

...you have such a beautiful appreciation for life...

...& you're 100% right 2X...

...(smily face thingy)...(i refuse to do 'actual' computer smily face thingys)...

Nogocyclist said...

39 minutes to another year.

What we need is a year end quiz.

Nogocyclist said...

And if your answer is wrong, you get to watch some guys getting some fast food (actually water) at the drive thru.

Biff Tannin said...

Have you noticed that McFly is AWOL ...

I killed him so I could steal his wife and force her to get plastic teats. AWESOME!

Nogocyclist said...

As I ride my bicycle into this New Year called Twenty Thirteen I sure hope the future holds pleasant surprises of all who read this blog.

Is that sappy enough for my first post of the new year?

If not, or even if it is,
Scranus!

Nogocyclist said...

In a New York minute.
Blogger is slow according to Time.gov.

Nogocyclist said...

The New Year's resolution for this blog in 2013 is no podium races this year.

Yea, right. I got first place for the podium for the first post in the New Year. Of course I am in a different time zone than the blog, so it doesn't count for me for another 56 minutes.

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babble on said...

WOOOOOOT! Happy New Year, Peeps!

I'm extra happy today, cause I just realised I'm three years younger than I thought I was. Yep. That's right. On my last birthday my booze addled brain skipped ahead three years and it wasn't until last night that I realised my mistake.

New Year's Resolution 2013:

I will improve my maths skills.

annonymoose said...

The boys in our club have decided our New Years resolution is to stop having a circle jerk as we read babbles' posts. The girls say fat chance. Well, we're gonna give it the old college try.

Frilly said...

Happy New Year everybody! xxoo!

bgw--still waiting cheri (toe tapping).

McFly--I sincerely hope you got more than a loap of coal for Christmas.

Babbs--thanks for the tip. Santa baby brought me a new phone among other things.

Frilly said...

oops...meant lump of coal.

I need a nap something awful.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Babble on, as they say in the car business, it ain't the years, it's the mileage...

babble on said...

I expect the years would be kinder than the miles.

babble on said...

Frilly - isn't Santa Baby the best?

Nonnymoose - if you've got live girls in the room, skip the circle jerk. Girls are waaaaaaaaay more fun.

bgw - yes, initially, when it went ker-plunk and hit the bottom of that porcelain bowl, it was definitely a moment of absolute anguish. I didn't believe it was possible for people to love inanimate objects until I met my first i-phone. Yes, I know it's sad, but I own my pathos.

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bikesgonewild said...

...a belated happy new year, all...

...frilly - what ???...no lob n' bubbly on your doorstep ???...damn - the u.s. postal service has never been the same since that bike racer guy worked for them...

...what ever happened to him anyway ???...

...babble on...were you, uhhh, when did, ahhh, ohhh never mind...i'll just use my imagination...
...photos still cloudy ???...

..."...& you wear it well -
a little old fashioned but that's all right..."
...

babble on said...

Let's just say that your back pocket is not a good place to keep your phone.

The camera dried out and cleared up, and it's working fine. The phone didn't even turn off, it just carried on as if it hadn't gone for a dunk at all.

I've had enough experience with drowned phones to know that this is very unusual.

I am not complaining.

babble on said...

Maybe that bike racer guy works for Canada Post now. Apparently they broke some kind of delivery records the week before last...

they had to be doping.

leroy said...

My dog got me new year's subscription to a news site for Bollywood gossip. Wonder where he got that idea. I'm still not letting him borrow my credit card to go clubbing.

Cycologist said...

The Secret Race.

Read it.

You do not have to believe it.

But it's very compelling.

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