Friday, November 30, 2012

BSNYC Friday Seventeen Minute Drum Solo!

Believe it or not, being a semi-professional bike blogger isn't as glamorous as you might think.  The truth is that I put my pants on one leg at a time--when I do wear pants, which I usually don't, which is one of the more glamorous aspects of this job.  Otherwise, I have worldly concerns just like the rest of you people.  I have to polish the marble Cipollini statues here at the Wildcat Rock Machine mansion.  I have to skim the surface of the indoor pool for used prophylactics.  I have to launder the togas so tomorrow evening's guests at least have the illusion of cleanliness.

Once in a great while though I do manage to slip away for a short lunchtime ride.  Back when I lived in Brooklyn, that usually meant going to Prospect Park:


I absolutely love Prospect Park.  It has a zoo.  I've seen hawks picking apart dead animals there.  It's a great place to have a wine-soaked white people picnic.

However, riding in it is something else.  Between racing and just plain riding I've probably circled the Prospect Park loop a thousand million hundred times.  About ten years ago I reached the point that I could barely complete a lap without falling asleep, and since then the only way I've been able to get around the damn thing is by slapping myself repeatedly in the face.  To this day, as I fall asleep my legs twitch and spin in exactly the rhythm and cadence it takes to propel a bike around Prospect Park.  This will probably be my death spasm.  And the most interesting aspect of the park from a cycling perspective is this tiny bit of an incline, where people like these shout "Hold your line!" at you for no apparent reason:


(They actually shouted "Hold your line!" at me even though my line was being held securely by me.)

Well, yesterday a window opened for a lunchtime ride, and because I don't live in Brooklyn anymore I didn't go to Prospect Park.  Instead, I went here, which is close to where I live now:


It was a lot more fun than Prospect Park.  The possibility of a lunchtime mountain bicycle cycling ride has been my dream for many years, and it's finally become a reality.  Granted, it was a pretty long lunch, but whatever.  I lubed my chain with tears of joy.  The only problem is that a lifetime spent living and cycling on a giant sandy glacial deposit has made me an utter wussbag when it comes to riding over rocks:


(If it's so easy then you go over it.)

I actually caught myself wishing I had a full suspension bike, and then I blanched at the realization that I have now been transformed into a person who covets both a folding bike and a full suspension bike.  I mean really, there's clearly no hope for me now, I should have just buried myself alive in those woods.  But instead, I fashioned a switch with a sapling branch and whipped myself repeatedly in the thigh until I came to grips with the fact that buying your way out of a fear of riding over rocks is the coward's way out, and that I need to hike up my breeches and work with what I've got.  (Which is a perfectly good bike with a suspension fork and a bad case of sucking at riding bikes.)

I did, however, determine that wider handlebars would be a worthwhile upgrade, since the ones I was using on that bike were narrow vestiges of a time when bikes had 26-inch wheels and I fancied myself fast, and I also really like the wide handlebars on my Engin, which I was not riding at the time because I felt like being able to shift.  So after the ride I went to a bike shop and bought some wider handlebars, and wouldn't you know it, they had folding bikes!  In particular, they had Terns:



(Wine-soaked white person in mid-flight.)

I took one out for a ride and it actually felt pretty darned good, though I'm not sure it folds up small enough for my taste.  Call me paranoid, but you never know when you're going to have to secret a bicycle in your own rectum, and when it comes down to that every fraction of a cubic centimeter counts, believe you me.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then HOLY FUCKING CRAP!!!, and if you're wrong then you'll see cycling.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and Lob bless.


--Wildcat Rock Machine






1) Why does this Hyundai have only one teal wheel?

--Because it's faster
--Because it's supposed to look like a fixie
--Because David Byrne wanted it that way
--Because someone stole the hub caps







2) The artist who created this claims that the paint actually contains a small amount of Mario Cipollini's semen.

--True
--False






3) A Swedish woman was recently struck by which body part while cycling?

--A male member
--A female breast
--A posterior
--A uvula








4) "GFOAT" stands for:

--Greatest Freds of All Time
--George Found Obvious Advantages from Testosterone
--Good Food On A Table
--Goat Foot On A Testicle









5) Torono Mayors Robs Fords will fight their removal from office:

--"To the death"
--"Tooth and nail"
--"Tongue and scranus"
--"Ham and cheese"







(Spotted by a reader.)

6) With this seat cushion, you can travel through time.

--True
--False








7) What kind of bars are these?

--"Mustache bars"
--"Speed bars"
--"Kra-zee bars"
--"Wide stance bars"





***Special Bonus Travel Video That Doesn't Really Make Me Want To Visit That Place***




206 comments:

1 – 200 of 206   Newer›   Newest»
McFly said...

YO

McFly said...

Mama

RB1 said...

zoom

McFly said...

is so fat...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

laid back

Anonymous said...

Was first

3G said...

What quiz?

RB1 said...

sorry, guy - i interrupted your joke.

Anonymous said...

Rode that mustache all the way to the front of the pack.

Anonymous said...

balls balls balls balls balls balls balls.....................................

Anonymous said...

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

Anonymous said...

Actually kind of cool to be the first outside top ten. (ZOD)

fuck rapha said...

Fuck rapha

Anonymous said...

Top ten is kind of trying too hard, huh? Especially on a Friday. (ZOD)

McFly said...

....that everytime she puts on her Malcolm X-way T-Shirt a Medi-Vac Helicopter tries to land on her.


That Australian Touring-by-bike porn was awesome until the dude came in with a disembodied voice and stood his ground on the turkeys.

g-roc said...

...

J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J said...

Yes! In with a folder for top 20!

Considering a Tern, Snob?

crosspalms said...

Mmm, eucalyptus-y

Comment deleted said...

Is it better to secret a bike in your rectum or to secrete a bike from your rectum?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Lunch time mtb ride, togas. You lucky sob.

RANTWICK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MaxBenign said...

Does it count as acing the quiz if I clicked the right answer by accident? They really SHOULD be called "Kra-zee bars."

Four and a half minute doom metal drum solo. Like doom, it's kind of boring, kind of dumb, and pretty damn sweet, though YMMV.

Comment deleted said...

It'll behoove ya
To care for your uvula!

RANTWICK said...

Hey, even I make a more exciting youtube video than "Cycling"...

http://youtu.be/S8BnSgShm2k

Marcel Da Chump said...

Oh cry me a river view.

Buffalo Bill said...

I understand Robs Fords likes to use a wide stance.

babble on said...

till he's bouncing off the football pitch

theEel said...

damn...


weed.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Rantwick you're truly disturbed.

Anonymous said...

ON YOUR LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McFly said...

Blog Drafter dug deep into his make-up bag full of excuses yesterday and really turned himself inside-out so it's no surprise he is off the pace.

Comment deleted said...

Rantwick = hood ornament for Peterbilt.

vantage said...

yeah, a wide stance for a unique forward thrust.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Secret secret, I've got a secret

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin

I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see,
I've come to help you with your problems so we can be free

Invisible Man said...

I really like the Albania video for a particular personal reason.

I spent a month in Albania in 1999 reporting on the Kosovo war. It is, frankly, a fairly miserable place. But the thing that stuck with me was how terrible the roads were. The main road from one end of the country to the other was like the "old road" they show in the video. There were memorials everywhere to people who'd died when their vehicles plunged down hillsides.

I am delighted for Albania that it now has proper roads.

However, I'm still not sure I'd recommend it for a vacation, nor would I be that keen on cycling anywhere in the Balkans. The drivers make New York City's lot seem like Copenhageners.

Invisible.

McFly said...

Here's what you do:
1)Get a folding bike.

2)Ride it on your awesome dream trail until you get to the boulder.

3)Get off, fold it up.

4)Throw it off the deepest gully you can find.

5)Run home like a nancy boy.

JB said...

Hardtail mountaining bike? That's a new one (to me).

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

NANC YBOY

babble on said...

Very exciting, Rantwick... that woke me up. Cheers.

I stayed up late on a RANT of my own.

Anonymous said...

You spelled that wrong. I think you meant to use the word, FAP.




balls™

Anonymous said...

Aussie chicks' kinda hot.

DerZoots said...

I was disappointed to see improper helment starp adjustmelnt on the man's helment in the bonus cycling about video.
I was very pleased to see the woman was riding a Rohloff equipped bicycle.

All is well.

paulb said...

Yeah, I tried two of NYCeWHEELS' Terns at one of those summer Sundays Park Ave shutdowns. Majorly, majorly nicer ride than my '07 Dahon. And folded up I think a Tern MIGHT fit in an Ikea bag. I gave my wallet to a disinterested grownup to hold until I recovered my self-control. Still riding the '07. It's terrific. It really is. Really.

Johan Bruyneel said...

http://stevetilford.com/?attachment_id=22991

paulb said...

Yeah, I tried two of NYCeWHEELS' Terns at one of those summer Sundays Park Ave shutdowns. Majorly, majorly nicer ride than my '07 Dahon. And folded up I think a Tern MIGHT fit in an Ikea bag. I gave my wallet to a disinterested grownup to hold until I recovered my self-control. Still riding the '07. It's terrific. It really is. Really.

Telegram Sam said...

Glad the Aussies showed us their whole climb up the mountain instead of... other stuff. And that the guy called the people who saved his girl from being eaten by wild dogs "hillbillies."

Anonymous said...

Larry Craig liked a wide stance.
(Teal wheel - such spondee).

leroy said...

My dog insists that BSNYC moved to an earlier time zone.

My dog also insists if he can't be on the podium, he'll pee on the poduium.

But I think that's the beer talking.

He'll fall over if he tries to lift his leg that high.

Ride safe all!

Anonymous said...

That's Taylor Phinney! America's new hope.

Anonymous said...

Wow. A mansion, a Cippolini statue and nearby trails in the woods. All as a semi-professional blogger. Good on you! Any semi-pro tips (other than white bar tape, of course)?

Larry Craig said...

I like a wide stance bar...

Billy said...

That Murray bike had speed lines coming off the back. I call foul on that question. Any answer was acceptable.

Got the rest of the quiz.

Rollie Fingers said...

You're in fucking Connecticut?!?!?!

Blog Drafter said...

(giggles) Ah, a drum solo...right!

Burt Reynolds 531 said...

That was a really nice video that Rantwick posted. Too bad it has that speech by Robs Fords wedged in there. Oh well, Rantwick you are a wild man!

Yarpo said...

The Wrong Answer Video did torture me with too many still shots of Fred's white bicycle cycling shoes. This contrasts with Babble's blog showing no less than three not-so-boring examples of footwear from her cavernous warehouse shoe/boot collection. Those wellies can work for dominatrix-ing in a pinch or three. By the way, shouldn't that one photo caption read, "me feeling good after seeing A fred?"

How did Rantwick ride between London, England, Wellington, New Zealand, and Adelaide, Australia in 58 fucking seconds while narrowly avoiding death-by-Peterbilt? Now that's a quiz question for you.

Aussie Girl: Hot.
Albanian Commie-made Playgrounds: Not.

Damn, this coffee is waking me the fuck up. Oh yeah, another podio top spot for McFly. Congrats!

The King of Park Slope said...

You could lip to see what?

Anonymous said...

That folding bike looks a lot like a raleigh twenty, minus the $42,000,000 for upgrades.

cycle

babble on said...

Concurring... she is super sweet. Hot girls aren't a draw for you snobbers? How come?

McFly said...

This shit JUST happened.
A lady riding pal picked up a Trek 720 Hybrid at an estate sale and left it on my back porch at her lunch today for me to do some TLC on.
My buddy down the street was on patrol saw some asshole leaving my house with it and called me and described it and I confirmed it and he ARRESTED HIS SORRY ASS ON THE SPOT!!!

Way to go Jordan. I thought we lived in a nice neighborhood.

I may need to move into Corrugation Estates like Snob down by the river.

ONLY THE FUCKING BRAIN DEAD said...

ride Prospect laps when they're not racing or-- hah hah-- doing "winter" "intervals."

though I'm happy to leave the knuckleheads and their-- hah hah-- "climb" be so that other Brooklyn roads are less crowded with two wheeled dipshits...

tho' the jackoffs and their electric bikes all need to die die die (I have no sympathy for them and neither should ya'll).

Jimboner said...

Toronto Mayors Robs Fords will fight their removal from office with goat foot on a testicle.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Albania is known as the poorhouse of Europe for a reason.

Comment deleted said...

Yarpo, it's about time your fuck-up woke.

Anonymous said...

Oh, noes, babble's an anti-vaxxer.

And here I thought I was in love!

mikeweb said...

It's been mentioned that the Murray Mark 3 wide stance bars also have 'forward thrust'. And Rantwick was run over by a Peterbilt.

That is all.

Alan S (Helment Fascist) said...

Top 100

Get a Foldie with a shoulder stap, Wildcat RAWK Machine.

(has a Schwinn Hide-a-bike)

Bromptoneer said...


You've never folded till you've folded a Brompton. They're genius: all the dirty bits on the inside, hangs together neatly, fits in a luggage rack, handy bags. I could go on.

Oh, god, I'm so .... middle aged.

mikeweb said...

Oh, and congrats to McFly - for the podio and the thwarted Trek pinch.

I guessed Inwood Hill park for the mt. bikecycling photos, but the high tension line towers in photo #2 are befuddling me. I don't being fuddled.

smarticus said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cfyC6NJqt2o#!
presented without comment. !!!

swan swan ste said...

Try a MEZZO they ride nice and will help you get rid of a pile of dosh.

babble on said...

Shoes are like bikes... you can never have too many of em, and you really do want the right one for the occasion. They both inspire creative storage solutions, too...

That's whatcha call a win/win.

babble on said...

Oh dear...

Robba the Fords were cleared to run in the next by-election.

Dear Toronto, Please don't make the same mistake twice. Please.

Comment deleted said...

From what I understand, Papillon escaped Devil's Island by secreting a Brompton motorboat in his rectum.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Babble, I'm really digging that animal print scarf. Damn girl you accessorize like its nobody's business.

Anonymous said...

Origin 8 are the coolest of foldie's...which is still dorky looking. Just less so.

Anonymous said...

Highbridge?

oh, by the way

YOUZ SUCK
ATBI KING

McFly said...

Damn Babs it looks like you stuck your feets in 2 dead raccoons. Me likey.

....."no no....keep them....on..."

Anonymous said...

still waiting for an update on how un-gentrified "your" new neighborhood is...

mikeweb said...

Being babble's chiropractor has got to be just about the best job in the whole world.

Anonymous said...

HOLD YOUR LINE!

JB said...

Oh yeah. You mention the hardtail mountain cycling bicycle and don't include some throbbing bottom bracket or juicy rear hub/brake/cassette porn?

Dooth said...

Get a load of Freddie "White Shoes" Johnson in that video.

yogisurf said...

Damn, so close to 100...but failed again. The lady in the video was NOT HOLDING HER LINE!!

JB said...

Chiropractor? I'm rethinking my entire life after imagining Babble with a male OB. I stopped thinking, however, when I realized that Whoopi Goldberg likely has an OB too.

Wanderer said...

Those woods: looks like Fieldston, in the, the, the...

babble on said...

The boss wanted to know if I needed a license to shoot these boots...

babble on said...

RCT- thanks, me, too! It was a gift from the man's ex.

Cipo Brand Ejaculation, accept no substitute said...

Mmm, eucalyptus-y she said after receiving something in the dark from Cipo.

Anonymous said...

so you did move to Inwood / Washington Heights you sneaky son of a bitch. Nice place, but i don't undertand why you need a folding bike there? unless you actually moved to bronx and were mountain bikecycling in van cortlandt park. I would guess the former.

Fiscal Cliff Richard said...

Yo.

Anonymous said...

Tern is made up of a bunch of former Dahon employees, namely Dahon founder Dave Hon's son and wife. Dave Hon is still with Dahon, and I think he's suing them or something. It's crazy.

Dahon Vitesse D7HG. Mine's a 5-year daily rider, thing is perfect in every way.

http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2011/06/tern-folding-bike-company-breaks-away-from-dahon/

bikesgonewild said...

...how many fucking times does google need / expect me to re-sign in ???...

...see that, i'm doing my own quiz...

ce said...

I see Mr Roboto hasn't been banned yet and I can hear g-rock breathing. I'm going out for some air.

Wiki CutnPlay said...

Robbs Ford is the disgraced Mayor of Toronto. Noted Bike critic Wildcat Rock Machine gives Robbs the "award for most disgusting Mayor."

Authors Tom and Dick write that Ford's body is a "miasmic mass" of flesh that shakes as he laughs. He emits an unmistakable smell: "The Ford's lardaceous body seemed to periodically release a greasy discharge, sending fresh waves of rotten stench" into the air. His swollen tongue drips with saliva as he feeds on creatures that resemble frogs and maggots. Ford's appetite is insatiable and he is not discriminatory about his diet. For example, his jester, must make him laugh once a day, every day, or Ford will eat him.

mikeweb said...

I just noticed that someone else who rides to work in my building has a Tern - locked to the rack downstairs. It looks like a nice folding bike though.

ce said...

...eucalyptussy air.

bikesgonewild said...

...mcfly sez "....."no no....keep them....on..."...

...uhhh, i believe sex with ANY woman were she to be wearing just those fuzzy mukluks would still be considered bestiality in all of the 48 contigous states...

...certainly acceptable in alaska & they wouldn't be allowed in the hawaiian islands...

...of course, the great white north has it's own laws...

bikesgonewild said...

...re: the hyundai - "We were inspired by the proverb 'A rolling stone gathers no moss,'" said Chris Chapman"...

...i'd suggest they were inspired by the market researchers who extrapolated that a certain percentage of the 'fixed gear hipster' population would soon be coming into their trust funds & therefor have disposable cash at hand...

bikesgonewild said...

...ooops...spelled 'contigouos' wrong...

...& re: wrong answer 'gu-ey' video music...i thought we went through this before & we ascertained that the phrase "...eye of the tiger..." referred to a butthole in gay circles...

...'not that there's anything wrong with that'...

...just sayin'...

Dooth said...

There's something very deep about 'a butthole in gay circles'...I hope there's nothing wrong with that.

Great weekend everyone!

McFly said...

HEADED TO TRASHVILLE FOR THE WEEKEND BEECHES! Who's got 2 thumbs and is most definately having hotel sex? THIS GUY! (Double thumb points at self)

HOTE LSEX

MOTE LSEX

SOIL DBED

why yes, i have it right here said...

bloggers can afford mansions in greenwich connektikut with miles long mountainous single track now.

just. fuck. me.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Found a picture of BSNYC test-driving the Tern at his LBS:

http://www.who2.com/blog/2010/09/prince-charles-on-a-little-tiny-bicycle-photos

Anonymous said...

if i catch that inbred muthafucka smashing that huge nasty inbred nose on my unsold cheese again i swear ima killim.


Found a picture of BSNYC test-driving the Tern at his LBS:

http://www.who2.com/blog/2010/09/prince-charles-on-a-little-tiny-bicycle-photos

bikesgonewild said...

...don't forget the mukluks, mcfly...

...& have a great time but don't get arrested for bestiality either...

Florence Hon said...

Tern's bicycles are just a mich higher quality bike.

It's recently come to light I've heard that some Dahon's have been made with radioactive steel and aluminum tubing, sourced from a factory near Chernoble.

Go to Tern's website at http://www.ternbicycles.com/us/ and see the incredible lineup of high quality, non-radioactive bicycles.

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...btw...i WOULD listen to a 17 minute buddy rich drum solo...

...that's all i'm sayin' about that...

...i'd also like to mention that i didn't cheat on today's quiz...

...i did lousy but i didn't cheat...

babble on said...

cheat? you can cheat on these quizzes?

Anonymous said...

Max Roach was the joint, too.

Anonymous said...

Max Roach was the joint, too.

Anonymous said...

no rear suspension on your MB wildcat? I had a feeling you liked it rough.

Brokeback Mountain Biking

bikesgonewild said...

...i used to consider it simply 'research' to supply the most fully informed answer but others resented my looking over their shoulders...

Anonymous said...

And Art Blakey...

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

buddy rich was a doooosh.

listening to drum solos...

this thought just makes laugh.

and laugh.

Anonymous said...

The first five finishers today make me want to write a song with:

"YO- Mama Zoom is so fat and laid back"

in the chorus.

g-roc said...

ce, I guess that makes me your personal trainer. I hope you managed to hit your lactate threshold and burned off some of that bitterness. I know I'd be bitter if I had to deal with that warm eucalyptusy air and annoying sunshine. Don't hate me because I get to splash through chilly puddles and get showered with near freezing rain. Your bill's in the mail. SPRINT! 100% 90 SECONDS! GO!

yankees suck said...

ah - now I know where snobby lives. yes - he still lives in NYC. nice area.

Scott said...

LOB on high! Snob, saw this & thought you would be interested in Mecca...

http://instagram.com/p/Sq4akWDyRA/

Anonymous said...

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Red Sox Stink said...

Snobby Bombing hills.

Anonymous said...

Bikes Gone Wild --

The Black Page.

Followed by the easy, teenage New York version. Get down with your bad self!

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Heavy Handed Gent said...

I've been hang'in in Mayfair of late. Have I ever mentioned the period of time when I ran amok in Kent?

Warren Z. Bomb said...

Aaaaooooo, underwear wolves of fucking London, alright? Excitable boy.

Angie Kritenbrink said...

OMFG
BIKE SNOB NYC MOVED TO PORTLAND

Flammer said...

Get a look at A-merica 2025 in Albania today. When the pawn brokers knock back your bonds. When China and Russia are sick of you begging for more time to pay. Roads start to crumble, schools have sheets of plastic to patch windows, hospitals turn away the poor and bicycles become a matter of necessity rather than bourgeois faddishness. But I'm sure your government will still see the wisdom in tax cuts for the wealthy and subsidizing conversion of food into car fuel.

Pay your debts, you fucking freeloaders. Except for the money you owe Swiss banks. Tyey're all cunts.

Couldn't resist a vintage jersey on Fleabay - a now defunct Luxembourg bank logo.

Justin Chan said...

Wow,
what an awesome post.
really informative.
Giant bikes toowoomba

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 9:01pm...right, right - forgot about the black page...

...first interpreted & then performed by local legend terry bozzio along with frank z...
...(never met t-bozz but he went to high school a mile from my house & then college of marin)...

...no denying his creativity & technically, while bozzio was/is highly proficient on the kit (a massive kit that he's personally developed over the years), other than his work with his band missing persons, he wasn't a big favorite of mine...

...i was blessed to watch / hear / feel the music of my favorite jazz fusion drummer, mr billy cobham as i basically stood next to him onstage at a gig, nicely hidden behind the amps...(thank you, howard)...

...this, after having had dinner with the band after sound check...

...what a way to experience someone THAT fucking good...i don't even know how to describe it other than to say it was a delightfully fantastic experience...

ce said...

g-roc, if it is any consolation, the air wasn't warm, it was hot and the only eucalyptussy was eucalyptussy smoke, and there was no riding of bikes, just winching out of helicopters. Actually, I really shouldn't be bitter, I love that shit.

It was a bit like this video featuring a 9 minute drum solo that I see someone has uploaded to YouTube. What is with their music selection? It's like the daggy arse provincial equivalent to a narcissistic hipster's sweet fixie edit. Oh well, at least it keeps the bass solo away.

Sonoma face lift said...

this is great to read. A well informative to share to others.

Anonymous said...

mafucka lives in long island

Anonymous said...

BGW -- Black Pager here. Also old friend of Jacquie and Charlie's, btw.

Saw Cobham with Mahavishnu a bunch of times back in the 70s. As them kids today say, OMG!

I also got to see Zakir Hussein up close & personal a couple years ago. He's pretty good, I think.

bikesgonewild said...

...ohhh, & btw...fuck you with the bass solo jokes...

...frank zappas favorite bass player, the classically trained scott thunes is a friend of mine...

...dude is on it...

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 10:11...that fuck you wasn't for you, btw...

...think i've mentioned this but i live literally a block & a half from our pals...

...my present avatar foto was shot next door to their house...before they even lived there...

...i'm out...

ce said...

Bass solo

ce said...

That wasn't a solo! Billy Bass had both instrumental and vocal accompaniment. Now he's in for it

yankees suck said...

if snob is where I think he is - that park used to be completely filled with garbage 20 years ago. There are also regular mountain bike races there during the summer.

man - just thinking about some of the restaurants in that neighborhood is making me hungry.

...and now the folder makes sense.

C. said...

Ahhh must be Highbridge. Quite a bit of history there. When the CLIMB folk were prepping it for trails, a cannonball was found. That's quite a leap, from laps around Prospect Park to Highbridge. Good luck and don't forget your antibiotics!!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Q: What is the difference between a bass player and a savings bond?

A: Eventually the savings bond matures and begins earning money...

Dyslexic Jimi said...

IF9 WAS 6

Cunt'tree Cipo said...

Monster Truck rollovers ...

poon-tang ...

pootie-tang ...

Flaming NASCAR wrecks involving death ...

Upon awakening from a 'Bud/Crank induced Black-out I discover 'four dead humans*' in my house ...

and the 'merican flag!



*mother-in-law, wife and two unidentified illegal aliens

babble on said...

They say everyone has a special talent, and I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what mine is.

Turns out I am really very good at being a wine-soaked white person.

bikesgonewild said...

...miz babble...some people simply 'do' & some people excell...

...i sense you're an excell-orater...

...red, white or just "...yes, please..." ???...

Mark Maidique said...

IT'S A SCHOOL PROJECT!

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Anonymous said...

More bass jokes or imafuckinkillya.

McFly said...

No Hotel sex. Came down with a violent head cold and kept everyone up snoring.

There was a full mirror on the closet door OPPOSITE the bathroom exit.

It "looked" like it led you back to your bed.(When you are drowsy from meds things are confusing)

I walked straight into that S.O.B.

Red Sox Stink said...

Wildcat mountain bike prowling.

McFly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I live around here, said...

… and the thing is, there are no cycling trails in Inwood Hill or Fort Tryon Parks, or, as far as I know, in Van Cortlandt.

Some commenters refer to Highbridge. Does that mean the Bronx neighborhood, or the bluffs on the Manhattan side? Is there mountain biking there?

If he has moved around here, I've assumed the mountain biking he is referring to is somewhere nearby, but outside city limits.

I went mountain biking for the first time this summer, in Vermont, had fun, and would like to know where near here I can do it.

I live around here, said...

A brief foray on a popular search engine shows me that there is indeed mountain biking in Highbridge Park.

That's fantastic! Never knew that. Definitely a slight upgrade for Highbridge from just being a place to abandon cars.

John 'White Album' Lennon said...

"and would like to know where near here I can do it" ...


You can do 'IT' in the road!

Sly 'Narcolepsy' Stoned said...

Boom Chakkah Lakkah Lakkah Boom Chakkah Lakkah zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

McFly said...

Best SEC Championship game ever.

Best college football game ever.

Best football game ever?

Shades of the great Herschel Walker.

Anonymous said...

You beat me to it McFly...college football at its best. Too bad college cycling ZZZzzzzzz...

babble on said...

Wine is a really nice accessory, you see. Mutards like me ought never pair red with white clothes of any description, for example, for obvious reasons. I drink much less of it in the summer months.

I like red with tuna for some reason. But I don't wear the tuna. I eat it.

Chef J. Dahmer II said...

Colas with red meat ...

7UP/Ginger Ale with fish, white meats & human.

Bud W. Iser said...

Lanterne Rouge

bikesgonewild said...

...chef dahmer...what, no canada dry ???...


smug bostonian said...

in bike commuting related news - bike traffic within the city of Boston increased something like 35-40% between 2010 and 2012. At the current rate Boston's bike mode share could actually be around 10% by the end of the decade (within the city proper - this is not including Cambridge, currently 8%, and Somerville, currently 5%).

If you haven't been to Boston within the past year, you have no idea just how much ridership has exploded. I'm wondering if this is true in other cities...

McFly said...

http://nashville.craigslist.org/bik/3445903566.html

Ever since the 6th century B.C., when their homeland was conquered, Jewish people have created thriving communities around the planet.

Today, more than 26 countries have a Jewish population of over 10,000.

Wildcats purchase of a folding bike is just another step in the, dare I say it, evolution, of their people and the will they have to continue on looking like complete dorks.

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Butt-Head said...

Woke up with a 'MONSTER' in me jammies this fine morning I did!

Mr. Smug Ironic Douche' said...

Hey Boston person. Just kill yourself. That will be much easier that attempting to pilot a two wheeler around downtown Bosstowne.

Ray Sexlightr said...

PERVERT Seventeen Minute Cum Solo Sunday!

(I got to stay off Babble's Blog, it's basically soft-porn with a healthy lifestyle backdrop)

D. Loggins said...

Please come to Boston for the springtime.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Thank you.

Just one wee thing. I like the whole ...porn nomenclature thing, as in bikeporn, or shoeporn or whateverporn, and I sometimes use use a ...porn prhase cause it furthers my message, but in my experience, porn always involves an element of violence. Sometimes it's as simple as an attitude, but it's always there.

I'm all about the love, baby, and that's erotica, not pornographica. Fifty shades of loving discipline is hot. A kiss embeded with love is hot, even just a look, a gesture, a single, poingnant touch.

Porn? Meh. Not so much.

babble on said...

But I thought the fifty shades book was kindov dull, cause I've lived a few seasons now, and have a great imagination, too...

Anonymous said...

"Lycra Lout" unkind term in U.K. for "Fred." Good article on a U.K. elederly woman who was hit on two separate occassions by "Lycra Louts." Just google it, if you dare; the brits are not pleased.

Frilly said...

Kisses for McFly! Awesome podio!

Rantwick--Glad you survived.

Wine soaked white people. In the words of the Three Stooges, "I resemble that remark."

ce said...

Babble on, some time ago I expressed my suspicion that you were a bloke pretending to be a woman. I would like to apologise, I was wrong.

Anon 7:34, is it true that in the UK "Normal Chap" is the term you would use to describe this guy?

McFly said...

Thanks Frill. It was one of those "Hey it's breaktime let's see what Snob has to say well I be damned NO COMMENTS"....(I always have comments)


Yeah ce I have this reoccuring nightmare where Babble is some 312 pound welfare-dependant skank that lives in Akron, Ohio with a bunch of cats.

Anonymous said...

I had a similar aversion to rocks. Just take your time, walk over it at first, get used to mountain biking in general, and the eventual accretion of skills will have you over that pretty quick. The line is there, you just need the confidence to see it.

Skidmark Dave said...

Accretion is nice until it turns into excretion.

Anonymous said...

"bosstown?" how old are you? people haven't used that term since the 70s.

yeah - I don't think snobby hasn't been to Boston in a while - things have changed pretty significantly just within the past year. (and I think the NYC bike share will have a similar effect there).

ps - if the bike share actually happens next spring - be prepared for some even more ramped up crazy anti-cyclist shit. unfortunately I don't think those super heavy under-geared bikes are going to make it up to snobby's new digs fast enough to convince him not to get a folder.

I apologize for hijacking the genital and boob-related comments to share my excitement over the recent numbers. never mind me - carry on.

babble on said...

Let's talk about BOOBS, baby.

Sensitive Cipo said...

After I sex down podia girls they receive a complimentary gift basket and a life size cast of 'The fully aroused Cipo man-salami plus a copy of my best seller 'Career Paths for Unwed Mothers.'

babble on said...

Cheers, CE. The hormone therapy worked wonders. I feel like a real woman now.

bikesgonewild said...

...hmmm...i guess if the advice in that video, that "...guys, bigger is better..." is true, then i'd better break out the encyclopedia, start studying & ahhh, bulk up my brain...

bikesgonewild said...

...the organ that counts can never be too big, ya ???...

...remember marilyn monroe's fascination with albert einstein ???...

...it's a fact that they met & i'm betting she was wily enough to initiate an assignation despite their disparate backgrounds & i'm betting he was a smart enough man to indulge & enjoy the consumation...

...now...where was i, oh ya - Aaa to Zzz...back to pumping up my brain...

McFly said...

Dang Babble I have resorted to all manner of counter-measure to keep from impregnating the opposite sex but that Ostrich did the equivalent of running from the room with root-oil still spewing forth from his member.

Never waste a money-shot.

Especially when the target has moisture resistant feathers.

Although...he does not have opposing thumbs so I guess he could make his case........

babble on said...

The whole bigger is better argument is what leads to breast augmentation, too, but the film was too much fun not to share...

bikesgonewild said...

`...hey now...i don't need to augment my brain size but i do need to expand it's utilization capacity...

...just sayin'...

babble on said...

Ever considered a career in the graphic arts, McFly? You seem to have something of a gift...

Randy Arton said...

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