Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wednesday Is A Day Just Like Any Other, Except I'm Wearing a Chicken Suit

Oh, hi, I didn't hear you come in.  I can assure you there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this pink silk robe, and for why I'm eating Froot Loops out of the toilet.  Please, have a seat.  Make yourself comfortable.  Take off your flip-flops and your keffiyeh.  I've got some "Ellen" reruns on the DVR.  Would you like to watch?  And would you care for some Froot Loops?  I haven't flushed yet.

Also, if you don't have any plans this weekend, why not come to sunny Philadelphia for the 2012 Philadelphia Bike Expo, sponsored by Rabobank:


(Breaking news, Rabobank just pulled out like a Catholic during ovulation.)

In particular, on Saturday the 27th at 11:00am, why not hear me talk for like 45 minutes?


I promise I'll have you out in plenty of time to catch "Yoga for Cyclists."  However, I don't promise not to use the 45 minutes to read from a Shimano Hollowtech II instruction manual in all six languages.  Look, I'm not going to insult you by saying my talk will be the greatest thing you'll ever hear, but I also won't accept any excuses that you have something better to do, since obviously if you're in Philadelphia that's an out-and-out-lie.  At best it should be just like a cyclocross race for me, in that I'll be doing a bunch of driving just to get jeered at and humiliated for three-quarters of an hour.

Hope to see you there, though I suspect the feeling isn't mutual on your end.

Speaking of liars, some people in France have just announced the official route for The 100th Annual Running of the Cheats:


Despite the recent shitstorm, optimism is running high in the cycling press that we have entered into a new age of honesty and cleanliness in cyclesport, and journalists are already calling this the "Tour of Renewal."  Oh wait, no they're not--that was the 1999 Tour de France after the Festina scandal.  By the way, if you're wondering who won the 1999 Tour de France, the latest answer is "nobody:"

The 1999 Tour de France was the 86th Tour de France, taking place from July 3 to July 25, 1999. Having been stripped of the win owing to his use of banned substances, Lance Armstrong's 1999 win, his first of 7 consecutive wins and the most in Tour history, no longer applies; therefore there was no official winner of the 1999 Tour De France.

Well that makes sense.  After all, it's only been 13 years.  No reason they can't pick a winner out of this scrupulous cast of characters:

(I always wanted to trust Zülle because of his glasses.)

It seems fairly obvious to me what needs to happen now, which is that they need to go back and award the overall win for every Tour ever to that year's lanterne rouge.  Sure, even he was probably doping, but it's not like you can accuse him of having an unfair advantage over anybody.  At this point, failure is the only thing we can trust.  

Frankly though, I'm not sure it's worth it.  Maybe they need to stick a spork in the Tour de France already, call it overcooked, and just feed it to the dog.  Do we even need it anymore?  I mean, what's the likelihood that this rolling debacle is going to attract any new fans?  Even before Shitstorm 2012 it was incredibly annoying to turn your friends and family on to it.  First, you have to explain to them why cycling is a team sport, even though they don't pass a ball back and forth.  Then, you have to explain why the guy who won the stage isn't winning the entire race.  Then, you have to explain the various points classifications.  And if all that wasn't bad enough, now you also have to explain that we don't really know who actually won any Tour de France since like 1990.  The payoff is supposed to be finding out who gets the yellow jersey, but ultimately nobody even gets a yellow jersey, and all the cycling fan gets is a pair of blue balls.  Basically, you'd have to be an idiot to want follow a sporting event like that--which is saying a lot given the general level of idiocy among sports fans.

Then again, fans are only as smart as the riders:


“Even now I believe in his innocence. He has always respected all the regulations … He has won all the cases he’s had,” said Indurain, who won the Tour de France five times consecutively, from 1991 to 1995.

Indurain then went on to accuse Joe Pesci of sleeping with his wife:


Meanwhile, remember the carousel Kickstarter I mentioned yesterday?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?  Eff me?  Well that wasn't very nice.  Anyway, the "curator" of that Kickstarter has apparently added a new pledge level in my honor:

I'm honored, though at the same time I'm disappointed.  Who cares about a painting of the tape?  What she really needs to paint is a triptych depicting how the tape wound up where it did.

Also entering into a new era of honesty is Budnitz Bicycles.  Previously The Budnitz used to make outrageous claims about how you need to spend well over $5,000 to get a decent city bike, but in this video that was forwarded to me by a reader it appears he's finally ready to tell the truth about his product:


Budnitz: Le Grand Tour from Budnitz Bicycles on Vimeo.

First, we meet a typical Budnitz owner, as played by forgotten electronic musician and noted vegan Moby:


Who really nails the character by wearing short pants and no socks:


Every man in Gentrified Brooklyn currently sports the highwater pants/no socks look.  I'm not sure where it came from, but I suspect there are two main sources, which are: 1) a deep-rooted desire to look like Audrey Hepburn; and 2) the fact that the trendy neighborhoods of Brooklyn are mostly located in flood zones.  Also, the look seems to have spread all over the country, and it's entertaining to consider that people everywere are walking around like this mostly because Gowanus has become fashionable.

Anyway, like a typical Budnitz owner, Moby neglects to lock up his bike when he steps into the café for his douchespresso, at which point a flat-brim doofus who's mad because Moby priced him out of the trendiest neighborhood and into the adjacent second-trendiest neighborhood takes his revenge by stealing the Budnitz:


He then rides around on sidewalk:


Where he does a bunch of half-assed tricks:


But then he notices that maddening, Edgar Allan Poe-ian creaking:


He tries another stupid whip-skid, thinking that will cure it:


And then he tries some more sidewalk riding:


He even tries to pinpoint where the creaking is coming from by isolating each wheel as he rides:



But still, creaks, creaks, creaks--in the clamor and the clangor of the Budnitz!


Even the frantic accordion music can't drown it out.

So finally he's like, "Fuck it," and he just gives the bike back to Moby:


Who is none the wiser:


Because he's none the wiser about anything.  He has no idea his bike is overpriced.  He has no idea it's just a 29er without the frame clearance.  He doesn't know a bike is not supposed to creak constantly.  He doesn't know he's paying a Budnitz a month to live in a one-bedroom apartment on top of an oil spill.  He's just a sockless interloper, doing his part to make the city unlivable by moving the decimal point on every price tag one place to the right.

Speaking of bike thieves, watch out for James (forwarded by another reader):



Don't buy a road bike or abound from James - $1 (central austin)
Date: 2012-10-23, 6:27PM CDT]

James stools me a 1967 Schwinn, and it was n jot only stolen but was not a67. Dint waste your time buy new or from someone trusted on Ebay,idk just don't but from him, he will tell you he's in law , and is not from Austin, all lies. Be aware craiglisters!!! 

Guy seems pretty sharp, I can't believe James managed to fool him.

137 comments:

le Correcteur said...

podium!

le Correcteur said...

Podium plus one!

Anonymous said...

last

le Correcteur said...

Podium plus 2!

le Correcteur said...

Now to read the damn post.

Anonymous said...

Oh...whatever.

Anonymous Coward said...

FRTLOOPS

Top Ten

Kenny said...

A LAW I TELL YOU!

Anonymous said...

oh, well

Marcel Da Chump said...

A load of Raging Bull.

singlespeedwaster said...

Flavouring my weed with cheese, and grating it

P. Bateman said...

top anything? top 30? damn this race is sooooo hard. you know what else is hard? my erection after i blast my penis with injections of EPO. which is Extreme Penis O'Longer juice.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Snobby,

I have a devout jewish friend who told me that it's ok for a jew to pull out in order to avoid conception so long as he puts his spunk in another orifice belonging to his partner - mouth, nose, ear, what-have-you. Is this consistent with what you learned at the synagogue?

Anonymous said...

Just outside, still feel free to KNLB FRZD. (ZOD)

Comment deleted said...

Philadelphia certainly looks beautiful in that poster. Tempting...

theEel said...

weed.

babble on said...

Wednesday isn't quite like any other... it is hump day, after all.

Buffalo Bill said...

James sold me a budnitz. Unfortunately it was a number two, but at that price anyone can afford them.

J said...

Hey, I still listen to Moby! Creaking does grate on the nerves, fortunately mine was just the pedal.

Brother Marquis said...

Weed isn't an afterthought.

Anonymous said...

Gentrified Brooklyn Moby is actually filmed Gentrified Downtown LA

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm so ready for next years tour. I love Paul and Phil's commentary on the castle ruins and chateaux of the French countryside.

Could you hear any noise from the belt drive over the incessant creaking on the budnizt?

leroy said...

Obscure apropos poetry quote Craiglister meant to reference:

So get a job, son.
Keep your nose clean.
Don't get in our games.
You're bound to lose
If you don't choose
A different road from James.

Guy Colwell, Inner City Romance Comix No. 2, Radical Rock (1972).

Google it.

leroy said...

Anon 12:15 --

Another Onan reference?

But to answer your question:

In point of fact, that sounds like something one might learn in the backseat of one's first car in a parking lot behind a synagogue.

Or an Arby's.

babble on said...

Blue Balls are bad. Very, very bad. A good triptych of how your cassette tape wound up where it did might assist a few uncomfortable fans. Good thinking, Snob.

babble on said...

Leroy - Pretty sure it doesn't qualify as Onan when it involves another person's orifices.

But it IS another good way to help out a frustrated and blue fan of bikecyclesporting events.

leroy said...

Babble -- not to belabor the point, but onanism, especially in teh biblical sense, encompasses coitus interruptus which requires well, you know.

For those travelling to Philadelphia this weekend -- coitus interruptus is the highway through Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

McFly said...

............kneeling

Anonymous said...

speaking of stupid sights;

spotted 29er built for 5'2" lady.

looked like....a toe removal contrapshun

OVER LAP!

Comment deleted said...

I think "spilling of seed" (whoops!) is what pissed off JWH1 so much. So, IANAR (I am not a rabbi), but I think carefully putting it in an ear or nostril is kosher, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

I think they should credit the tour win to the first Frenchman on the list for all seven years. Allez!

Kenny Banya said...

"At this point, failure is the only thing we can trust."

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

babble on said...

Thank you, Leroy, for clarifying that fact for me. In future, please remember that I am not the brightest penny in the purse, and include photos.

mikeweb said...

I have a deep rooted desire to look like the Lone Wolf.

yacknees skunk said...

high water pant and no socks look comes direct from the new england ivy-league yacht club set. people have been sporting that look for years in the Boston area (or more specifically, the pretentious rich parts - which is pretty much everywhere now except a few hold-outs). Brooklyn is the current playground for these interloafers until their parents in Hingham die and leave them their second home on the neck in Marblehead.

Olle Nilsson said...

I'm reading this so it's pretty obvious I have nothing better to do. I'm just geographically challenged, so in lieu of the Philly Bike Expo, perhaps I'll go to the La Conner Bone Shaker Bike Festival in La Conner Washington. It may not have the cache of a Philly Bike Expo, and it will involve more bike riding than strolling. Also, there will be nothing sunny about it.

grog said...

Yes, parts of Philly are beautiful, and you can ride along the river, enjoy a cheesesteak, and sit on a bench reading your new snobby enlightenment book.

Tom said...

Stools!

Anonymous said...

"Failure is the only thing we can trust"

Is this an endorsement for one of our presidential candidates?

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure Amgen would like to pick up any vacated sponsorship spots on the TdF.

It is the tour of renewal, after all.

Anonymous said...

good one today. I like Indurain's contrarian view on Lance. It really is just a bunch of hearsay, from like 15 different people, but hearsay nonetheless. On that subject will Trek and Nike be paying back all of the profits they made off of the back of Lance? I can answer that, no fucking well in hell. Why is that doofus doing whip skids on a free wheel bike with hand brakes. that fucking budnitz looks big slow and unwieldy all that for just $5600. I guess they need to pay for that amazing marketing campaign. live strong wildcat.

Provincial bike commuter said...

I have question for ya'll urbane folks.

Can a sockless dude in highwaters be hip, despite being bald and having a bad haircut?

Shouldn't he have a thicker beard?

Is it the expensive coffee that makes a dude hip, or the neighborhood?

On the other hand, scumbag bikes thieves have that same look, all across the country.

thief said...

I draw the line at scumbags.

Anonymous said...

@Anon@12:15 You are annoying the adults. Please, go and play with the other children.

Anonymous said...

There are adults here?

TJ Eckleburg said...

Indurain played by Kramer. Not Deniro.

paulb said...

If everyone was doping, I don't get nullifying the race results. Even if the playing field was a few feet above sea level, it was still level. (Someone help me with this metaphor, please.)

Dooth said...

Punch me...come on, punch me...PUNCH ME!

Captain Hardbread said...

more chicken suit or immagonnakillu

Dooth said...

Punch me...come on, punch me...PUNCH ME!

Provincial bike commuter said...



Do you draw the line a stealing bikes with condoms-on-the-grips as theft prophylactics, or do you ignore bikes that belong to scumbags?




crosspalms said...

I'd like to come to Philly for your talk, but Google Maps says it'd take me 82 hours to ride there from Chicago (faster on drugs, of course, but Google doesn't offer that as an option yet). Anyway, will you be an Artisan, Activist or Alternative?

David G said...

First time a stage will be in Corsica, right?

Anonymous said...


@anon 2:21

Hearsay is when you say something that you heard from someone else, not something that you witnessed or had direct experience with yourself.

The witness testimony in the USADA report is therefore not hearsay. I'm not taking sides, just hate it when everyone starts using that word like it invalids all witness evidence.


IMO (which is worthless), LA's biggest problem is he was asked so many times "did you dope" that it makes it really hard to come clean now. Everyone else it seems either "comes clean" after they were caught, or after they have retired for a while and then say "yeah, I used to do that but cleaned up my act back in 20xx and raced my last N years clean before retiring" bullshit. But they weren't asked a gazillion times whether they doped so they don't look as much like liars. But if they had been asked they would have lied just the same, so I don't see the difference.

I dunno, heros? scumbags? I don't really care... I think LA is a liar and a cheater and I still respect him and believe on a clean level playing field he would have kicked ass just as much as he did on a dirty level playing field.

Olle Nilsson said...

Provincial bike commuter - "bald with a bad haircut" that's the most awesome thing I've heard all week. Stealing that.

Anonymous said...

WCRM - the team sport thing is non-obvious and I don't think its because there is no balls involved.

The winner is an individual, so that gets people confused with it as a team sport... to the casual observer it looks like the team mates are just stooges.

I can't think of another sport with this dynamic... of course if it isn't hockey, I'm not really interested.

dummystique said...

Stooges win stages.

Tara said...

PaulB: (Assuming you were asking a sincere question)--the problem is that (1) not everyone was doping, (2) people were pressured into doping who didn't want to dope and (3) not everybody who dopes has the same results. To use your analogy, some riders might ride 5 feet above sea level with EPO, while others might only ride 2 feet above sea level with EPO. So it's not the "a rising tide lifts all ships" sort of deal.

Also, I sometimes play a lawyer on TV. Hearsay is, in many instances, admissible evidence in federal courts and I would assume that the USADA proceedings also let in hearsay under their rules of evidence. If Betsy Andrieu testifies that, in her presence, Lance Armstrong told his doctor in 1996 that he took EPO, that's hearsay, but it's also admissible. If Tyler Hamilton testifies that he heard from Betsy Andrieu the same thing, that's double hearsay and generally not admissible.

Anonymous said...

Anon3:41,
I believe it's still called heresay, but it may be admissible in court if the witness actually perceived the event and/or the statement was collected under oath.

Provincial bike commuter said...


"Bald with a bad haircut" isn't an unusual observation. Just look around.

But just I noticed a smudge on the monitor that makes that guy's haircut look worse than it really is.

Anyway, when will the horror end. I mean fat assed bald dudes wearing hip huggers.

Oh, the horror, the horror.

OMG said...

For chrissakes people, learn the difference between hearsay and eyewitness testimony! The latter can put you on Death Row, while the former is inadmissible in any court of law that I know of. Duh.

Synonymous said...

Hey OMG,

did you hear that somewhere or did you see it first hand?

Anonymous said...

Hearsay Exceptions: Availability of Declarant Immaterial

Present Sense Impression. "A statement describing or explaining an event or condition made while the declarant was perceiving the event or condition, or immediately thereafter," is admissible hearsay (Fed. R. Evid. 803(1)). An example is the statement "That green pickup truck is going to run that red light."

Sex Seed said...

The opening credits to Budnitz: Le Grand Tour--Partizan in association with Budnitz--made me snicker. Anything associated with Budnitz provokes a snicker...The Dalai Lama in association with Budnitz... NASA scientists in association with Budnitz...The Salvation Army in association with Budnitz.

Bo Wade said...

Yes sir Mr. Budnutz...whatever you say Mr. Budnutz...no problem Mr. Budnutz...I am even douchier in real life Mr. Budnutz.

Bo Wade said...

Yes sir Mr. Budnutz...whatever you say Mr. Budnutz...no problem Mr. Budnutz...I am even douchier in real life Mr. Budnutz.

mikeweb said...

anon 3:41,

Thanks for clarifying hearsay and I mostly agree with your other points. I would add though, that lance went a lot farther than cheating and then perpetually lying about it for years. If a lot of the first person testimony is to be believed, he also bullied, bribed, coerced and yes, snitched in addition to the cheating and lying. He in effect cheated at cheating.

On a level clean playing field, he may have won 7 TdFs in a row, but probably not. Floyd knows first hand that lance dropped the dime on Tyler to the UCI when he felt he was a threat after moving to CSC. How many other contenders did he also snitch on? So he likely even broke the 'omerta' when it suited him!

And then the $125K (that we know of) in 'donations' from lance and Livestrong to the UCI for 'anti-doping research'? How much would a Meth dealer need to pay NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly for him to look the other way? IMHO (which doesn't matter much either) Pein McBruggen need to be thrown in jail. They are and were completely complicit in what was going on.

And sex.

r/evolving circus said...

Sure I will paint the triptych if you provide a video re-enactment of the incident so I can reproduce the necessary pathos.

Anonymous said...

Lance's story gace pro bike racing the human interest story it needed for mass (marketing) appeal in at least the U.S., if not the rest of the world.

I doubt the UCI gives a shit what the riders do, as long as it makes money, and doesn't draw any negative attention to the peloton, or sport as a whole.

Dennis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

r/evolving circus,
Well played. Well played indeed.
Give me about 2 hours and an unfiltered google account and I will have your pathos in spades.

McFly said...

Bring me back a cheese steak. And a hooker.

McFly said...

Where do my seeds go after a vasectomy? My nose seems to run a lot.

paulb said...

I'm sure no one with any self-respect would pay less than $5,600 for a commuting bike, because Buying Budnitz is a privilege, not a right, and laws become bills, but $749 gets you a Vanmoof (Vanmoof?) with built in lights. The guy riding a silver one on the Manhattan Bridge last night seemed to like his. No squeaks, from bike or rider.

Tara: I hear you.

leroy said...

Honestly, where's that guy who used to comment as "Bad Lawyer" when you need him?

Not to be a pedantic butthead (oops too late), but hearsay is an out of court statement offered for its truth. If the person making the statement isn't in court to be cross-examined, it's hearsay. It doesn't matter if the person making the statement has personal knowledge or secondhand knowledge.

Yup, the hearsay rule has more holes than swiss cheese in that there are a lot of exceptions to the hearsay rule. For example, you could offer an old telephone book to establish someone's address and phone number. An "excited utterance" and a "dying declaration" are also admissible hearsay because someone decided long ago that excited folks and dying folks aren't prone to lying.

And yup, some quasi-judicial tribunals are perfectly okay with relying on hearsay.

But the bottom line is that an affidavit and other out-of-court statements are hearsay. They are admissible hearsay -- and presumed reliable -- only if they satisfy one of the hearsay exceptions.

My dog once explained it to me like this: If you can reasonably say "hey, no fair relying on that statement because I'm not getting a chance to test the accuracy and credibility of the person who made it," it's probably inadmissible hearsay.

I should know better than to trust my dog, but I've bailed him out of the pound a whole bunch of times and the charges never seem to stick.

wishiwasmerckx said...

There are dozens of exceptions to the hearsay rule, but if you read the actual affidavits, they said things like "I roomed with rider X, who told me that Bruyneel said Y..."

That sort if stuff never comes into evidence in a real court.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ce n'est pas une pipe...err, i mean a mixtape.

Anonymous said...

Good thing the courts and all their silly Rules don't come into play here.

wishiwasmerckx said...

In the literal sense, Onan was struck down because he spilled his "seed" on the ground. I do not think that means dropping your load in some poor girl's ear pussy gets you off the hook.

I'm not a Rabbi, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:05, the point exactly. Those that professed disbelief that the Feds didn't proceed, or re-open the case after the USADA decision, have no understanding of such things as statutes of limitations and rules of evidence.

The "Reasoned Decision" was a hatchet job.

mikeweb said...

So it seems from a legal tactical standpoint that it made sense for both Lance and the UCI to not fight USADAs findings, since if they did there would've been actual hearings with actual cross examinations(?) and actual evidence in the form of financial statements, phone records, re-tested sample findings, etc. etc. submitted(?) Nolo contendere is a safer bet than possibly hearing 'guilty as charged' it seems.

Players gotta play I guess.

Comment deleted said...

Y'see, that's just the problem; when Jehovah1 gets in a smiting mood, we aren't privy to his motives. Is it the spilling or the ground that gets his omnipotent goat?

Of course, the real "problem" is religion's discomfort with having sex for fun rather than for making new members of said religion.

All that said, I'll rescind my non-rabinnical advocacy of aural sex (and nasal sex, for that matter).

Anonymous said...

Is "ground" a literal thing or just any non-vaginal, not intending fertilization kind of thing. I mean, if we get loopholes for just not hitting the dirt, I got a cool trick for everyone involving a locked bathroom door, a bar of soap and a nice warm shower.

Comment deleted said...

P.S. "ear pussy" made me snort out loud. And I'm trying really hard not to figure out what the Holiday Inn has to do with Onanism.

Olle Nilsson said...

Balding with a bad haircut - everywhere. Bald with a bad haircut, impossible.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Dear r/evolving circus @4:36 --

The difference between an artist and a craftsperson is that only the latter needs a video recreation.

Use your imagination.

If Doug Adams can create a five part triology of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, your mind's eye should be able to see three or more panels devoted to the fast forwarding and auto rewind of an old cassette.

Did Michelangelo say "Yo, God can I get a video re-enactment of that thing with your finger and Adam for my interior decoration gig"?


leroy said...

mike --

I'm not suggesting that the affidavits don't have the ring of truth. I'm just suggesting they're hearsay and only one side of a story. Whether the other side of the story is worth belief or forgiveness is a whole 'nother matter.

Riding Friday?

Anonymous said...

Legal eagles
and biblical scholars
are making me thirsty.

OMG said...

Well I didn't want to get left out of the fun, with so many people offering up "legal opinions."

Saying Usada's case is "all hearsay" is just moronic. There is a lot more to it than that. I'll let the resident legal scholars parse the finer points of evidence. Deniers gotta deny, however, so they won't stop.

Anonymous said...

That's what I like about worshiping Almighty Lob, not a peep about hitting the ground because the shit just floats off in a cloud, and besides, who cares, really.

(P.S. G#d doesn't care either, the morons who made it all up 5,000 years ago cared is all.)

Anonymous said...

There's never a lawyer around when I need one.

babble on said...

Leroy - I would trust your dog before I'd trust a lot of the lawyers out there.

Anon@5:47 - me, too! Thirsty work, this. That's why I enjoyed a glass of wine with the meeting at lunch today... :)

wiwm - I nearly choked when I read ear pussy. Nice. Thank you.

Sure glad you guys all paid attention in bible (torah?) class. I was probably out back making out with the boy next door.

McFly said...

I don't get ear pussy. Explain. I normally get stuff. Especially sex stuff. All this legalese is makin brain hurt and angry. Sex.

Comment deleted said...

Only a privileged few get ear pussy. Although for a price, I'm sure it's available to anybody.

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to that Bad Lawyer guy anyway? Did he get sent to the Big House or something? I'd like to hear his opinion on this ear pussy issue.

Cipo said...

eating pussy

annonymoose said...

AAAAAK! It's bad for Catholickers to pull out? Man, I'm doing some serious time in the purgatorium.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to le Correcteur for a near sweep of the podium. So close. I'm sure he/she was NOT cheating.

annonymoose said...

Bettah ta waste it on a ho, than ta waste it on da flo. Konichiwa, bitches!

Cipolini said...

Eating ear.

McFly said...

Is ear pussy a mouth? I'm at something like a 75% bj ratio during epic sexytimes but I never do the business in there. Like Tony soprano said, she kisses my kids with that mouth. Babbles however......,

ken e. said...

enjoy the flip-flop between legalese and smutties

the igster's had it in the ear before...

Anonymous said...

McFly, the king of over-sharers.

"Dear Penthouse letters:"

Isis at Bilenky said...

Hey, I drew that poster! Seeing on the blog made me go SQUEEEE! See you at the expo, and thanks for putting it up!
-Isis at Bilenky

McFly said...

I don't remember eating corn....

McFly said...

If KOM gets the Polkadot Jersey does King of Over Share(KOS) get the Pecker Track Jersey? I will have to wrestle it off of Babble..

Olle Nilsson said...

I think you're ahead McFly. Sex.

Bad catholic racer said...

I never pull out, except at bike races.

Anonymous said...

Joe Pesci fucked Indurain's wife?!

Anonymous said...



and he was doping when he did it

(imagine)

Hearsay said...

Joe Pesci fucked Sheryl Crow.

Sardonic Samo said...

Art pooped out in the Budnitz video...Banksy?

Union Cycliste Internationale said...

We have carried Lance Armstrong since 1999. We have had enough! Plus he is out of ca$h.

NEXT!

Anonymous said...

I just returned home from a local tavern where i drank 2 for one wine, listetened to live country western music, and watched a a chubby Giant BB player hit three home runs in the first game of the world series. The point, no one would do the same with the TDF because it really doesn't matter. The World Series does. In the immortal words of Tim Allen in the movie "For Richer or Poorer" in which he says to the obstinate horse "just let it go, let it go." Really let it go. Let's get back to making fun of "Freds."

Anonymous said...

P.S. I rarely watch baseball; the World Series Matters and that is why i watched it.

Anonymous said...

Ear pussy??? Really?

I feel like I'm back in grade school eavesdropping on the boys at recess. *shakes head*

Hey, I like that Moby/Gwen Stefani song. So what if he's a bit of a tool.

Takashi said...

At 0:46 in that Budnitz vimeo, they tell you that even a thief can be hit by a truck if he/she doesn't wear helment.
Such an informative video!

mikeweb said...

leroy,

Just riding to work and home on Friday. Saturday and/ or Sunday are different matters...

McFly said...

Here we are now floodin' on the West side,

I roll up my pants as I go for a ride,

Ride all day and ride all night,

Budnitz is creakin' cause the crank is too tight....

Anonymous said...

Badnights

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Gwen Stefani has a nice ear pussy.

McFly said...

Gavin Rossdale plays in bush most nights.

Rocky said...

Duuuhhh, Philly has a coast line near the ocean?

Unknown said...

Finally, after years of development, a multi-tool kit pump that is fully bicycle cycling compatible! http://tinyurl.com/9vkweet

James Stools said...

Me a 1967 Schwinn! And you?

babble on said...

oh dear oh dear oh dear...

Liquid-improved lunch turned into a very long, late night.

It's not a good thing to show up to work drunk from the night before, is it?

On the plus side, there is a new open mic comedy night in Kits which is well worth checking out. Corduroy... :)

Frilly... it's much more fun snickering with the boys on the playground when you join us.

McFly? I'll wrestle you for it, but only in pool full of jello.

singlespeedwaster said...

Late at night is by far the best time to enjoy a lunch that's been improved - perhaps by the addition of a modicum of food, though only of the thirst-provoking kind. Enough to make me consider adopting the name of James Stools more permanently. UCI proctologist James Stools. I'm starting to like it.

leroy said...

Mike -- I'm planning on playing hookey on Friday because work has made me miss too much of our last decent weather. For reasons I can't fathom, family insists they see me Saturday. But maybe riding on Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Oh Leroy I'm taking off tomorrow too. Its a shame about the several hundred miles separation.

Alan S (Helment Fascist) said...

Moby moved to LA, he got sick of the hipsters and BSNYC making fun of him.

(listens to Moby anyway)

JJ said...

Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
All my friends ride Budnitz, I must make amends...

EP Oh said...

99 TDF, give it to the first French finisher, in this case Richard Virenque. No wait, he was in the middle of a drug scandal in 1998. Maybe crowning him isn't such a good idea after all.

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