Friday, August 17, 2012

BSNY Friday Fun I'm In Such A Hurry I Don't Even Have Time To Type The Word "Quiz!"

Whelp, the Vueling of España starts tomorrow, which means two things:

1) Alberto Contador is officially back from the world's shortest two-year suspension;

and

B) Freds everywhere are beginning to prepare for cyclocross season.

Cyclocross varies from region to region, but if you want to try it New York City Fred style here's how:

--Order 19 skinsuits
--Have your coach provide you with a custom-tailored bespoke cyclocross-specific training program
--Get your crabon race bike and your crabon pit bike professionally tuned up, even though you barely touched them last season, and also have the mechanic re-glue the six pairs of tubular race wheels you never used
--Attend a cyclocross clinic at which you determine you now need disc brakes in order to be competitive
--Upgrade or replace bike fleet accordingly (and don't forget that Powertap disc hub!)
--Go to one (1) race, in which you get lapped because "your disc brakes were rubbing"
--Return bikes to co-op bike room and congratulate yourself on yet another successful cyclocross campaign.

As you can see from the above, I've got my work cut out for me, which is why without further a-duh I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know it, and if you're wrong you'll see some sound advice.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and as a wise Fred once said: If you can't open your legs just open your wallet.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) Due to the worsening economic crisis in Spain coupled with a lack of general interest, the duration of the Vuelta a España has been reduced to two weeks.

--True
--False






(Humanoid gastropods Robs Fords, removed from their Escalade shell.)

2) Toronto mayors Robs Fords were recently caught _______ while driving.







(Quantifying smugness.)

3) The bike counter on Portland's Hawthorne Bridge has proven so popular that plans are now in the works for a cargo bike weigh station.

--True






(In situations of extreme danger, vegans have been known to lift entire one pound bags of bulgur wheat to collarbone level.)

4) The ultimate display of vegan strength is:








(Neve)

5) Névé (pronounced ney-vey) is:







(That ain't goin' nowhere.)

6) The Best Made Co. "Stow-Away" smuggler's suppository is knurled so it won't eject while you're fleeing from a bear.

--True







(Safety first.)

7) Confuse your fellow road users with:





***Special Transit-Themed Bonus Question***



If it rains take the:

--Bus

(via a reader)

84 comments:

Blog Drafter said...

Wow, EARLY DOORS, to quote another commentator

Blog Drafter said...

Just read the post, aced the quiz, and still have time for a...

Blog Drafter said...

Sweep!

Blog Drafter said...

Cavorting in a sort-of lonely wasteland here...

Blog Drafter said...

Bad form I know, but...

Blog Drafter said...

6

Blog Drafter said...

7

Blog Drafter said...

8

Blog Drafter said...

9

Blog Drafter said...

Wow, sweeps the top ten!

Blog Drafter said...

I retire b4 the test results come in...

Blog Drafter said...

**sound of crickets**

Blog Drafter said...

Top twenty, should I?

Blog Drafter said...

Let's see, 14

Blog Drafter said...

15

Blog Drafter said...

16 calm comments, anyone can jump in here...

Blog Drafter said...

17 jeweled sequins...

Blog Drafter said...

18 Byzantine crackers...

Blog Drafter said...

Wow, 19 dead cats...

Blog Drafter said...

And 20 Leroy's dogs...goodbye, I'm off for a bike ride!

Blog Drafter said...

OK, one more...21 Frilly's panties!

Anonymous said...

You must be very lonely

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

Third?

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

Ya aint no drafter when yer that far out front.

Jus' sayin'...

Anonymous said...

I just KNEW I should have taken the monorail!

mikeweb said...

Blog drafter is officially relegated. 15 times.

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

IRLY BERD

Anonymous said...

Whoa! It would've taken a Herculean lead out to get me to a podium this early in the day! Way to keep us on our toes Snob. Stanley Wiggins smokes WEED!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Not so bad after all seeing as the top twenty is just one?

mikeweb said...

The one dude fighting in that bus video at the 1:00 mark takes it right in the pants yabbies. Oof!

McFly said...

Geez Blog, Frilly is not even up yet.

McFly said...

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably crap.


HAPPY WEEKEND AND MAY YOU BE SHUFFLED ALONG BY EPIC TAILWINDS THAT ARE GOING 3 MPH FASTER THAN THE RABID MUTTS!

Anonymous said...

Rain bike guy is a Fred among Freds, a king among kings.

Buffalo Bill said...

No smoking on the bus!

Anonymous said...

I heard it's possible, that if one wanted to dip their feet into the proverbial water that is cyclocross, one might just put drop bars on their mtb or run different tires on their road ride???? No?

Paul Bowen said...

Just read yesterday's and realised why Americans think Cornish Pasties is a funny name for a food.

RTMS: that bit about the consequences of triathletes operating mowercycles was some funny shit mate.

Now, the quiz. Nice weekend everyone.

babble on said...

I'm still pouting cause I missed the Frilly link yesterday. Sigh...

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Out for dinner last night, and my friend hands me a pair of sparkly black pasties- imagine my surprise!

Now to figure out how to twirl them in opposite directions...

mikeweb said...

Joe Thursday from yesterday's post makes the big time.

Also a cameo by my buddy Hal.

Jasper said...


Blog Drafter said...

Wow, EARLY DOORS, to quote another commentator

Nice job, sir. We are still wiping the sleep form our eyes on the West Coast. Gobsmacked.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Those cheap-ass fuckers at Best Made.

The brASS suppository does not come with the matches.

Colemanballs said...

"As a wise Fred once said: If you can't open your legs just open your wallet"
Or as a wise man said during the 1976 Olympics: "Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class".

Olle Nilsson said...

Tried a new strategy today. I picked the funniest answers. Didn't work except for the suppository question - they're missing a great marketing opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Blog Drafter = douchenozzle

P.S.
ant1st *still* blows goats

McFly said...

Babble On,
Just click on her handle, then click BS Explanation and go to the 1st post. It's the postest with mostest. You still get the calve award.

Anonymous said...

@anon 10:04
you heard wrong. cyclocrossing is a serious elite echelon only exclusive club shrouded in crabon and disc brakeen mist. if you showed up with that shiddy attitude of yours you would be immediately yelled at. I suggest you go to one of these events first, to spectate and start planning which euroclown you want to emmulate, buy three matching machines, one for pit, one for warm-up laps, and one for race. get an audi quattro or simular and hire a pit crew. oh, and one other thing; never ever ask a fellow competitor what tire pressure they are running.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

I do loves me sum pasties. And by that I mean the Cornish meat pies. The kind strippers wear never turned me on or even made any sense to me.

For those unaware, The meat pie version is pronounced with the short a sound, as in cat.

Jasper said...

Well then how are the stripper kind of pasties pronounced? Now I am confused...

Jasper said...

Now of course an original Cornish pasty would have had meat at one end and fruit at the other, so that the miners could have a complete meal underground without making too much of a mess.

Anonymous said...

Stuffed and Cuffed

Nü-Fred dream car said...

All Crabon fibre and priced just right.

leroy said...

I could have been a contender.

But while Blog Drafter was hogging the podium, I was enjoying a few laps in Prospect Park.

On the way to the park, I passed a helmentless woman of a certain age riding in the bike lane up Union Street.

She called out to me that "you're supposed to say on your left when passing; it's helpful."

I always thought it was a dick move to call out on your left at 10mph when swinging five feet out of the bike lane to pass someone with plenty of room.

But I just smiled and waved.

A few minutes later, I stopped for the red light at Union and Court Streets. The woman caught up with me, pulled across traffic on Union, ran the light and turned left onto Court Street (a one way street on which she went the wrong way).

So much for cycling tips from the cognoscenti.

I love New Yorkers. We're not always right, but we're never in doubt.

My dog takes a different view. He says opinions are like butt cheeks. We all have them. But not all of them should be on public display.

Oh well, ride safe all. And if you share your opinions, here's hoping it's an appreciative audience.

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck would drive that goddamn bus through a lake?
Right thar's yer problem!

mikeweb said...

leroy,

When you passed her on the left, you were obviously blocking her from making a left turn onto the Clinton st. bike lane so she could travel in the correct direction, which I'm sure she always does.

She was probably on her way to Sweet Melissa for a smugness tart.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Best Made promises "piece of mind" from their brass dingleberry gizmo.

Anonymous said...

Go AC! Venga! Venga! Venga!

leroy said...

mikeweb --

Did Sweet Melissa close? I looked for them the other day and didn't see them. It looked like some writing co-op space took over their space. No wonder Marty Amis moved in to the nabe.

Oh well, there's still the lemon ice at the Court Street Bakery.

leroy said...

mikeweb --

And the odd thing about my encounter this morning was that another cyclist was coming down Union Street the wrong way while a car was backing up against one way traffic on Clinton, but I'm the one whom our fellow cyclist decided needed advice.

Heck, she didn't even realize I put myself between her and the dangerous folks.

So much for chivalry.

mikeweb said...

leroy,

As far as I know it's still open.

I received a surprise call today from and old buddy who's thinking of moving to Brooklyn. He asked about cycling to work in Manhattan. I told him as long as he rides the wrong way against traffic half the time he'll fit right in.

Dooth said...

Jelly fish halter tops are trending?

crosspalms said...

Dooth,
The stinging tentacles help keep you awake, and the ability to read by the light of your own clothes comes in very handy.

Dooth said...

crosspalms, hmm, l see. Now, should I wear my LaBoutin stilettos or Blahnik pumps? Oh, I'm such a slave to fashion!

McFly said...

Do I or do I not see boobies in the glow-blouse image? I need to know whether or not to get excited.

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my painting will be on display throughout Brooklyn this weekend.

I'll be marking part of the TA Century route.

McFly -- go ahead and get excited. You're going to see 'em whether they're there or not.

Unknown said...

check it out mate http://whatsnext.blogs.cnn.com/2012/08/17/meet-the-inflatable-invisible-bike-helmet/?hpt=hp_c2

babble on said...

AAAAAAH! Oh yes, I see! Cheers!

Very nice... almost divine. :)

Long ride, beautiful day, quite drunk. Happy girl.

babble on said...

The glow blouse would be much more fun if it were tight. And wet.

As long as it stayed the fuck away from Robba the Fords.

babble on said...

McFly @ 9:32 - :D

Nonny Mouse @ 9:31 - IIIIIIIIII KNOW, right??!

re: the sparkly pasties - they don't patch a tube very well.

night john boy. hic

McFly said...

OK I envisioned the glow-boobies and was getting my Fofonov on when I bumped the mouse and Neve Campbell was on my screen, instant limp biscuit. Where's a good calve pic when you need one?

Latex Salesman said...

Panties!

Panty Salesman said...

Latex!

McFly said...

I was watching the stage 1 TTT of the Vuelta and Euskatel-Euskadi got passed by some hombre on a bakefiets peddaling epic burritos. He got flagged down by some drunk Basque fans and they passed him back.

Handsome American said...

Burritos in the Basque country?
Come on, McFly!
I had hopes for you--breaking the red neck stereotype.
Tapas! It's tapas in the Basque country: A burrito, there, is just a small mule.

McFly said...

Ok, on stage 2 I just spotted a Caja Rural rider with his rear skewer in the 6 o'clock position. Unacceptable.

McFly said...

A true redneck would never spot that infraction.

Handsome American said...

O.k McFly, good reply.

babble on said...

Stanley can't even smoke a joint at Tesco anymore!

sucks to be famous...

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