Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Choking

Further to yesterday's post, a number of commenters expressed disappointment that I included a "spoiler" of the day's Tour de France stage result.  Here is one example of this disappointment:



In my defense, even though I said in that post that I usually observe a "no-spoiler" policy, I've never actually consciously followed such policy--it just seemed like a funny thing to say before including a gratuitous spoiler.  Even if I did follow such a policy, many commenters do not, and I've certainly learned the results to many a stage by reading the comment section of my very own blog.

Furthermore, I'm surprised to learn that, in 2012, what with smarting phones and computers and LCD screens everywhere you look, the concept of the "spoiler" is still even relevant.  It would seem to me that, if your goal is to avoid learning anything about one of the world's biggest sporting events in our modern-day society what with its Orwellian preponderance of screens, your only recourse would be to go live among the Amish for three weeks.  At the very least, it would seem foolhardy to actually visit a bike blog, where it's pretty likely the subject of the Tour is going to come up.  (And yes, this is a bike blog--or at least it has the word "bike" in the name.)  I'd suggest that maybe you'd be safer sticking to the adult websites during Tour time, but even then who's to say you won't log on to "Wet Hot Bunions" and find a salacious pictorial based on the day's stage results?  (I hear Thomas Voeckler has a sexy case of hammer toe.)

Most of all though, I was amused to note that the comment above came in at 11:45pm, something like 14 hours after the race ended.  I mean, just how long are we supposed to keep mum about this thing? Not posting spoilers is one thing, but by dinnertime it's just plain censorship.

At any rate, I acknowledge that there are still people who think it's "bad spondee" to post Tour results, in the same way that I acknowledge that there are still people who prefer the tactile experience of faxing to the strange and mysterious forces of email, and I'll try to avoid doing it again, but I can't promise anything.  And while I'm certainly not happy that some readers were upset, I also don't feel particularly bad about it, so "sorry" isn't the right word for me to use here.  I'm tempted to invent a new word for not being happy that people are upset while simultaneously taking no responsibility for it whatsoever, but unfortunately "spondee" is already taken.  Then again, I suppose there's already a word for what I am, and it's probably "asshole."

Speaking of the Tour de France, I won't spoil today's results (Fofonov!), but I will say that I've really started to warm to Bradley Wiggins, the guy who likes to say "cunt:"


At first I thought he was just some guy with funny hair, but as I get to know him better I started to realize just how badly I want a foul-mouthed Englishman with no tact whatsoever to win the Tour--and go pee-pee all over anyone who asks him an annoying question in the process.  Wiggins makes Cadel Evans look affable, which is a difficult yet immensely entertaining thing to do. Or, as Wiggins himself puts it, "I'm not some shit rider who comes from nowhere."  And as far as the whole "Cuntgate" controversy, Wiggins would like you to know that "I didn't lose my cool. I just said what I mean. If I'd lost my cool, the table here would be on the ground."  Indeed.  I understand he can also tear fruit machines apart with his eyeballs.  In any case, with any luck, at least one table will actually get toppled before this Tour is over, and silverware and cunts will scatter all over the place in a cacophony of British indignance.


I only wish I had Wiggins's gumption when it came to interviews, especially this morning, when I went all the way into the city (sigh) to be on some Canadian TV show.  (Though I suppose that's better than having to go all the way to Canada, where if I were to get hurt someone might be liable to give me medical treatment for free.)  The show was apparently something called "AM Express" on CTV, and because I had completely let myself go since finishing my BRA tour this spring I decided to do the good people of Canada a favor by first getting a haircut.  So I went to a place where they make haircuts happen, and who else should be there having his hair cutted but "A-list" celebrity Sinbad:




That was how I knew I had chosen wisely.


After my Uzbeki barber finished etching the New York City skyline in my hair, I continued up to the studio, where I docked the Scattante with the sort of confidence and swagger that would let any nearby cunts know that, should they attempt to appropriate it, I'd be more than happy to upend a table in their general direction:




Then I went inside to wait:




As I understood it, the subject of the discussion was going to be the sorts of issues raised in this article:


Therefore, I was prepared to take issue with passages like this:


Crashes have ignited controversies in New York, Toronto, and London. In Philadelphia, bicycle/pedestrian collisions killed two pedestrians and left another with a fractured skull in 2009. This spring, a San Francisco biker struck a 71-year old pedestrian as he crossed the street. The man died a few days later.


One fatality is certainly too many, but I can't help reading that and wondering why there's not similar outrage over the thousands of people who are maimed and killed by cars.  I guess by now we just take it for granted as a cost of doing business.  I was also going to express my irritation with this:


Not just because I think it's ridiculous that cyclists should be held accountable for the behavior of their fellow cyclists like a bunch of third graders, but also because the person who actually gave the quote obviously said "worst," not "worse."


Anyway, eventually I was ushered upstairs and put in front of the camera:




At which point a disembodied voice in my ear asked me a bunch of non-questions to which I could only give a bunch of non-answers, and then I got back on my Scattante and headed home.


Of course, it was only then that I had my "Jerkstore" moment and realized that I should have explained to the interviewer that any cycling-related problems they may be experiencing up there in Torontee (he kept mentioning Torontee) are due entirely to that idiot Rob Ford:



(Rob Ford the Hutt, of the Toronto Hutts)


But alas, I choked--or, more accurately, I didn't even get the chance to choke, because I didn't think of it in the first place.  Anyway, as I rode along kicking myself I thought about the conversation I had expected to have but didn't, and I observed the usual range of misbehaviors: the pedestrians standing in the middle of bike lanes; the cyclists salmoning and rolling through busy crosswalks; the drivers speeding through red lights...  As I contemplated it all it was clear that pretty much everybody had an equal disregard for the "law" (such as it is), but between, say, the doofus salmoning in the bike lane and the UPS truck driver who ran a light at 30mph while clutching a paper bag in his teeth and rummaging around underneath his dashboard somewhere, I'd have to say it was the latter who probably poses a bigger danger to the general public.  Oddly though, I have yet to see an article about how UPS drivers flout the law, or read a comment like, "The worst thing for a UPS employee is to see some other UPS employee dangerously blow through a red light.  It's just the worse PR."  Then, as I headed towards Times Square, I watched as a truck driver turned right onto the separated pedestrian/bike path while bypassing the car lanes entirely:




As we both watched, the guy in the red jumpsuit commented wryly, "The cop is sitting right there, too," and sure enough he was: 




Though the cop didn't seem at all concerned, as he was most likely waiting to see if he could ticket me for some imaginary offense, such as adjusting my "pants yabbies" in the summer heat without first donning latex gloves.


Of course, it's true that inattentive or reckless cyclists can be dangerous, but it's also true that it's not always their fault:





Nice tits!- 1st Ave & 6th St. - m4w - 28 (East Village)
Date: 2012-07-12, 1:02AM EDT
Reply to: [deleted]


You were the girl in the see-through shirt and no bra on 1st Ave and 6th St. I was the creep on the bike who almost crashed while staring at your tits. Just wanted to say thank you for making me love this hot summer weather again. 

At least he wasn't staring at her bunions.

123 comments:

Anonymous said...

first

CommieCanuck said...

CUNTS!

Anonymous said...

second

Anonymous said...

Losers who quote podium!

Anonymous said...

<===8 WOOHOO! 8===>

Also, this video is pretty ridiculous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny81vcxTZQk

Kenny Banya said...

doh, just missed

Anonymous said...

podium = cunt

theEel said...

weed.

Anonymous said...

10 TEN HUGGY ACTION

erikbeng said...

ROLLAND!!

Anonymous said...

Top 10!!

Anonymous said...

Top XX !!
Now to read it.

grog said...

No bunions!

In Zeeland we say said...

cjunnte

CommieCanuck said...

Nice pic of Robba-the-Hutt.

Rob's latest fuckup was blasting past the open doors of a streetcar, nearly hitting a passenger.If you are wondering why the suburbs voted for this high school dropout fatass, the answer was that the other option was a gay man. Girth beats fabulous every time.

Rob Ford's campaign slogan was: "I can eat a whole glazed ham in 3 minutes", while his opponent's slogan was similar, ...something about foot-long hotdogs.

Rodney Cuntfield said...

What did the dildo say to the cunt?


"Pardon me while I don my dildo helment."

Anonymous said...

Wankers !

Anonymous said...

Does this GoPro HD go under the strap or over?

grog said...

Nice (nonplussed) mammories!

Terrance and Phillip said...

Shut your fucking face, bunyion Fucka

You're a cock sucking, ass licking bunyion Fucka

You're an bunyion Fucka, yes, it's true Nobody fucks bunyions quite like you

Shut your fucking face, bunyion Fucka

You're the one that fucked your bunyion, bunyion Fucka

You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn You just fuck your bunyion all day long

What's going on here? Fucker, fucker, bunyion Fucka bunyion Fucka, bunyion Fucka

Shut your fucking face, bunyion Fucka You're a boner biting bastard, bunyion Fucka

You're a bunyion Fucka, I must say We fucked your bunyion yesterday?
Bunyion Fucka that's B U N Y I O N Fuck you, bunyion Fucka, get out


Suck my balls

I'll take your advice said...

"At the very least, it would seem foolhardy to actually visit a bike blog, where it's pretty likely the subject of the Tour is going to come up"

Yes, because this blog is clearly the pinnacle of instant stage results. Did you confuse this with your Bicycling mag stage updates from last year?

BSNYC 2012 Tour de France coverage:
Week 1: Vacation
Week 2:
Monday: Bradley Wiggens said cunt
Tuesday: Pointless Hipster bike handles
Wednesday: Reveal of STAGE WINNER and TOP TEN one hour after stage is finished.
Thursday: Who fucking cares! See you in August.

Anonymous said...

I always chuckle when you write, "Further to yesterday's post." So Edwardian.

JAT in Seattle said...

Snob,
I'm nonplussed by the attitude that because smartphones could tell us the stage result that it is unreasonable to be flummoxed by the non-alerted spoiler.

I think some of use would have thought that you, a long time fan of Euro-based cycle racing, would understand that the value of watching sports at all is the watching of the sport and the uncertainty of the outcome - if it weren't for the suitcases of courage we might as well dispense with sports entirely and have NFLCorp just text us all a pair of random numbers and a .gif of Janet Jackson's nipple embellishment.

Apparently you didn't understand that. Disappointing, because the flip-side to the ubiquity of technology is that we can now time-shift and record the day's stage and watch it in glorious HD when we're done with the workday in our respective timezones.

Sure this is a "bike blog" and it's yours and you can be a jerk (rascal? mischievous scamp? what was your mental state? Certainly not oblivious...) if you want to, but I'm surprised you would preface your spoiler with the statement that you generally avoid spoilers.

Reading your blog is a daily indulgence, but one I'm now on notice that I'll have to do without.

Fuck. That sucks.

cadel evans said...

dammit, dropped on the climb. i hate sideburns, also froome-dog, nibbles and vandenbuggles. and bloody europcar.

JB said...

Damn. Big stage win today for Evans.

Anonymous said...

Was that a Performance Bike tractor trailer delivering Scattantes?

I am not a patriot engine said...

It is always nice to see another country as fucked up as America, makes you love Rob the hut and Wiggins.

Anonymous said...

<===8 PUNKED! 8===>

Regarding JAT et al.
Don't listen to these bitches about the spoiler. It was funny. Spectating is not a sport, dickbags.

Anonymous said...

Cunts is as cunts does.

singlespeedwaster said...

Hey, I'm not dignified. Do I win?

JB said...

Refraining from media to keep the suspense of watching a sporting event has been around since the VCR, I suppose.

One would be wise to regulate their media intake to meet or exceed the importance of retaining that suspense. The only person who truly knows that importance level is oneself. Therefore, some readers of this blog may need to tighten their regulations.

mikeweb said...

"The worst thing for a cunt advocate is to see some other cunt blow through a red light district. It's just the worse (sic) PR."

Jed said...

The only thing celebrity about sinbad is the name of the cruise line he performs for. And his goatee looks kinda cunty.

Invisible Man said...

Snob,

I hope you'll forgive me if I don't use any curse words.

I've just moved to New York City from London and started cycling here (as I relate here: http://www.invisiblevisibleman.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/feeling-fear-and-doing-it-in-scaredy.html). I must make the sad confession that I've been watching the riders of any particularly nicely-made artisan bikes to see if they're you, so far unsuccessfully. So imagine my disappointment at discovering we must have been cycling a mere few blocks from each other, I on W54th street to my new place of work, you just downtown of me on your way back from Canadian TV.

Invisible.

Anonymous said...

Tilford doesn't spoil with his tour commentary.

mikeweb said...

Let's see, an Uzbeki barber and a Sinbad sighting? That could only mean that you were are Astor place Hair, Snob.

If that's the case, you really owe it to yourself to upgrade your coiffure options a tad.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. JAT in Seattle --

I feel your pain. My dog filled our water bottles with beer yesyterday. It sounded like a good idea at the time. But today I feel kind of spoiled.

Of course, he says my mistake was not eating the brownies he brought along. But I didn't trust a recipe he claims to have gotten from Alice B. Toklas, whoever that is.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Invisible Man,

1) Welcome to NY!

2) Did you leave a job and an apartment behind in London, and if so may I have them?

3) I'm usually on a crappy bike, and at least until my hair grows back I look a lot like Sinbad.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Marcel Da Chump said...

King of the Bunions.

CommieCanuck said...

Reading your blog is a daily indulgence, but one I'm now on notice that I'll have to do without.

It's a sporting event. Get a life.

Anonymous said...

There is an article on cnn.com today about parents accidently killing their children in hot cars BECAUSE THEY FORGOT about the kids being in the backseat. As far as I know, no children have ever been baked to death in a child carrier on a bicycle while their parents continued along their work day. Thus, shouldn't we ban cars outright? Obviously they KILL children. Shouldn't those parents at least sue the auto industry for making cars so unsafe for children? Isn't negligence always SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT?

CommieCanuck said...

wait..wait..don't tell me how WWII ends, I haven't seen the DVD box set yet.

I'm guessing we lost, which is why douches drive German cars.

Anonymous said...

Spoilers - good or bad?

cycle

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my barber at Astor Place once cut Governor Pataki's hair.

He's got a picture to prove it.

And when it comes right down to it, isn't the real reason we live here to rub elbows with celebrities and their hair stylists?

When next at Astor Place, ask for Luigi. Tell him leroy sent you. And my dog apologizes for the unfortunate incidident with the clippers.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:14pm,

There's a BAKE-feets joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going to make it. I seem to be on thin ice as it is.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

McFly said...

Platform pedals? Seriously? I thought you were really into foot retention.

BikeSnobNYC said...

McFly,

I'm totally over it, unless I am riding in stretchy clothes.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

leroy said...

Spoiler alert:

My dog claims to have elbowed his way into a controversey involving KOM points earlier today. According to him, he convinced Tour officials that leaning at the line is only illegal when accompanied by a lifted leg.

But I don't believe half the stuff he says.

Invisible Man said...

Wildcat Rock Machine,

I am leaving behind a three-bedroom house in sunny Brixton near a good school. The estate agents reckon you can have it for around $4,400 a month, which is around the same as I'll be paying for a three-bedroom loft in Carroll Gardens. I understand it if you want to move to London to avoid New York real estate prices. Hey, and if it's you that's moving in, we'll even leave the pulleys for hanging up the bikes. We had been planning to take them down and ship them to New York. Do we have a deal?

As for the job, they're abolishing my old job with my move to New York (which at least justifies my feeling that the job was under threat). But, if you fancy doing financial reporting about shipping for a modest salary, I can certainly see if my bosses would be ready to reopen the job just for you...

I too am on a crappy-ish bike (my old Marin Muirwoods) until the ship brings the Invisible Visible Family's fleet of Surlys and other fine bicycles across the briny.

Invisible.

Anonymous said...

JB @1:44

You are so right. The way Evans dropped Wiggans on the penultimate climb had me thinking it was game over for the Englishman. But then seeing Bradley boy dig deep and reconnect, ON THE DESCENT no less, only to be dropped again as Evens surged ahead and won the stage? WOW! Just Wow!

Ty said...

I recently inteviewed Bradley, I have the exclusive scoop on both his hair AND his socks: http://www.thefootdown.co.uk/2012/07/12/bradley-wiggins-fred-perry-interview/

Ty

BikeSnobNYC said...

Invisible Man,

I started teetering at $4,400 a month, and then "financial reporting about shipping" had me splayed out on the canvas.

Otherwise the place sounds perfect. How about $500 a month and a job making wisecracks about bike crap?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Blog Drafter said...

At the risk of general opprobrium, being called a wanker and a c-word, let me just say that those Sky riders appear to be doped to the absolute gills.

Anonymous said...

WRM

Quick, check if ShippingSnobLondontown is available. Can't be that far removed from editing Shed Fancy magazine.

Gary Gnu said...

No gnews is good gnews! Thanks for sharing that you basically failed at making any important points about the insurgent pedestrian community's outrage toward bicycling cunts. Also, where's the self-promoting gnu-tube video link?

Steven said...

Real fans (read: the unemployed) like myself watch the tour live, so please continue with including spoilers and sticking it to the working man.

mikeweb said...

leroy,

I believe your dog may have actually worked at Astor place using the name 'Joe' back when I used to go there, correct?

If so, please ask him why he never answered any of my lawyer's letters.

Invisible Man said...

Wildcat Rock Machine,

Thank you so much for that offer.

Obviously, I've been familiarizing myself with how real estate deals work and I know exactly the kind of language to use under these circumstances.

So, hey, let me get back to you on that.

Invisible.

Anonymous said...

I had the pleasure of visiting Toronto.

Visiting relatives in Port Credit, I absconded a bike to ride to the city, ostensibly to drink craft brews, hear music, scope the "scene," drool over women, you know.

Ring on Queen St W was pretty gnarly, and the city some infrastructure for bikes they need to shore up. They have these parks in the city and even bikeways from what I hear.

It has the bike culture like SF/Brooklyn, but smaller in scale. It has a community bike shop.

Tragic Senor Ford is doing such a poor job at representing the populace, and perhaps doing such a poor job as staying even remotely healthy, doing such a poor job as not being a cunt.

yogisurf said...

Looks like the truck was full of bike stuff for that online bicycle retailer.

babble on said...

I love it when you talk dirty.

The BBC says Ford is waging war on cyclists, so that Torontee has gone from Canada's cycling mecca to the most dangerous place to ride. Guess that makes him
Jabba the Super Cunt Ford.
I'd say take him out, except he looks as if he's not long for this world. Another box of donuts and a commute through Torontee's traffic congestion might just do the trick. :D

Gertrude Stein said...

Leroy, your dog is always welcomed at our apartment. He loves staring at the artwork...so cute how the Modigliani makes his tail wag.

Anonymous said...

Thought the spoiler was funny. Fofonov @ 10th is a cause for spoilage.

mikeweb said...

***SPOILER ALERT***

Today's mountain stage of the Tour 'day' France was won by Dmitri Fofonov. A long solo break with an explosively satisfying finish put him 8:42 ahead of the peloton at the end of the stage, launching him into contention for the overall lead.

And yes, I will leave this comment daily until the end of Le Tour. Or not.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

cuntastic!

EmoticonSnobMKE said...

Bradley Wiggins: "I didn't lose my cool. I just said what I mean. If I'd lost my cool, the table here would be on the ground."

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Anonymous said...

Bad boys on bikes! Your drooling over bad boy Wiggin's is giving me flashbacks of the hipster fight video you presented a while back. And you wonder why many view cycling as gay! Give me soccer (I mean futbol) any day. Oh some view that as gay also, with it's fake injuries and shirt swapping. Damn, I'll just keep on watching female mud wrestling. Now that's sport!

Anonymous said...

Bradley Wiggins makes Cadel Evans look like Ghandi and Mark Cavendish look like Fonzie, but above all he makes me HOT for all 3.

Anonymous said...

Now we know where the term "wigging out" came from. One more example that euro bike racing is a working man's sport, and no one can do working class like a Brit, but the Irish are a close second.

PhilboydStunge said...

More spoilers or ima fukin kill you.

bikesgonewild said...

...nanananana...i'm talking loudly with my fingers in my ears so you cunt spoil today's stage for me....

...buncha fucking wankers...

...oh, wait...how ironic...i just realized i already know 'cuz i saw the finish...

...it was that guy, you know the one, that guy on that team from, well, i forget now but ya, it was definitely him...

...imagine my palpable embarrassment...

Dooth said...

Come on, guys, this cunt cuntinue.

frilly said...

Still watching the Tour even though I know the outcome beforehand--note to self, next year don't "LIKE" the TDF while the TDF is actually happening. It doesn't diminish the fun. Especially when they show the Contador's return commercial. (Squeals with joy loudly!)

bikesgonewild said...

...little spanitch cheater boy gets sanctioned for dous years, it get backdated - (backdated ???...how the fuck does it get 'backdated' ???) & we have to put up with that cunt next month, after only 7 months away...

...despite 'some peoples joy', i think that's total bullshit !!!...

...ummm, 'hi', frilly...

Jefe said...

Snob, you do realize when Invisible Man offers you an apartment in Brixton he does mean the prison?

http://www.justice.gov.uk/contacts/prison-finder/brixton

Quilled and Lugged said...

Nice school in Brixton? He's got to be pulling your leg there Snob.

Plus, "cacophony of British indignance" is off the mark. British indignance is most
mellifluous. Just ask Martin Amis.

I was trying read this all before the stage coverage had finished just in case Sean Kelly let slip a spoiler for your post...

frilly said...

Hi BGW!

I confess I've been curious as to how come his ban was so short. I'm sure I could find the answer on the internets but I'm too lazy to look.

Can't wait for the Vuelta & it will be even better if Andy is ready to race again. Fire in the belly!!!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ah Frilly so nice to see you here again. Please disregard all the foul language. The place simply goes to pot when your not around.

frilly said...

RCT--no offense taken. I've been known to drop the F-bomb now & then. Although the C-word, for obvious reasons, is slightly insulting.

Invisible Man said...

Not wanting to get too parochial, I am quite happy to defend the quality of our local school. In fact, here's a link to an inspector's report that found it outstanding in every area: http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/ELS/100584/ As for proximity to the prison, it's up the hill and has far more than three bedrooms, albeit ours are slightly better appointed.

Invisible.

Matt said...

So, just to be clear, this show dredges up 2 dead and a fractured skull from 2009 plus one killed in 2012 from the entire US and it's a big huge deal? Yeah, it sucks big time for the people involved, but in that same time frame motor vehicle crashes have killed roughly 115,000 people.

Salty and Sore said...

[Upends table.]

DAMNITALL!

NOW I HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER BIKLING SITE! THE ONE DAY, I WAS NOT ABLE TO FIND OUT THE WINNER VIA THE LIGGETT-OLOGY!

CUNT-TASTIC!

I love you all.

..except for the cunts that is.

Salty and Sore said...

[Upends table again for emphasis.]

[meanwhile the rest of the room chortles softly at the site of pixie-sized anger.]

Anonymous said...

Pierre Rolland won today.

It was awesome,especially cause I didn't know how it would end!

Anonymous said...

I have always thought the #1 most dangerous thing to a cyclist's safety is a hot pedestrian (or other cyclist)

Mrtn Anus said...

Cnt

ashcroftchops said...

Im an English cunt who hates all non English cunts. But the cunts I hate the most are "anonymous cunts" who piss and moan on here and then hide behind their anonymity! Well here's a spoiler for all you anonymous moaning cunts. Some CUNT is gonna win the tour. Get it!

ashcroftchops said...

I hope its not a French cunt though :-/

Anonymous said...

If it weren't for the French, we would not have a country. Of course a lot of people would be happy about that. And there is a reason the TdF is the most popular bike race in the World. The French know how to entertain. Try visiting Paris; you would understand. I didn't get it until I went there last fall.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, not buying your rationalization of the spoiler yesterday. At best it was inconsiderate & thoughtless, at worst it was a dick move. I'm going to take your advice for the remainder of the tour & skip your blog.

Anonymous said...

Sploiler? I hardly know her.



-balls™

bikesgonewild said...

...so there, bsnyc/rtms/wcrm !!!...anon 7:37pm certainly put you in YOUR place, huh ???...

...personally, i was so stunned by yesterday's outlandish behavior that i sought help regarding the situation & now i'm 'okay' with it...

...that cunt charged me a lotta money though so i'm sending you the bill...

...please pay promptly...

Anonymous said...

2012 the year the tour official dies (R.I.P) in thanks to Bradley "The Wanker If I Was Pissed This Table Would Be On The Ground" Wiggins. Everything does not last forever, the sun must set at some point. It has been a wonderful ride. Spoiler alert?! Watch your TdF coverage BEFORE reading a bike related blog. Waaaaa Waaaaa my diaper needs changing. W.T.F?

The Ghost of Ben Franklin said...

Oh I could tell you stories about how the French can entertain that would make your toes curl!

McFly said...

SPOILER ALERT!!! Your tomatoes have been on the window sill WAYYYYYYYYY too long. A fruit fly told me condo's in the front quadrant on the fridge side are going in the low 30's.

ce said...

Snob spoils everything he writes about.

ce said...

If it's any consolation, Vito spoils everything he writes with.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

But, it's good to see that Snob has at least managed to woo back some female commenters this week with the crude/blunt language they love so much.

leroy said...

Mikeweb --

My dog denies having ever "officially" worked at Astor Place as Joe, he just likes to play with the clippers and hair dye.

And naturally, he is a big fan of any tonsorial parlor whose head practioner uses the moniker "Don Fifi." The name reminds him of a poodle he once knew.

He also reminded me that I have been going to Astor Place for more than 30 years, which makes me really, really old.

But he assures me that I still look as good as I ever did in a purple mohawk.

So I got that going for me, which is nice.

(100)

Anonymous said...

Aced the quiz, oh, wait, umm, no...dead last!

Anonymous said...

Don't ya just LOVE being the token cyclist? I just avoid those shows. If the Merles want to learn, let em come asking. Put a TV host in the mix and it always ends up pathetic.

Skippity Tooth said...

Fit the fourth:
in which Box(cat?) makes an editorial comment

Firstable, box(cat?) has asked me to thank Snobberface (her words, not mine) for the side bumps in the screengrab.

Further, In Re: the screengrab

Please, behoove me whilst I elucidate... (WOW! The colors!)

Here's my thing: "gratuitous and inconsiderate" I love it! That scatology is the shit, if you'll pardon my Belgian.

Gratuitous... gratuity... gratitude.
Inconsiderate... not considerate... farts.

Well played, Cuntwanker

postscript: MOAR SPOILERZ!

bikesgonewild said...

..."...tonsorial parlor..."...

...what ???...wait, they got parlors for that shit now ???...

...i had my tonsils taken out in a hospital, not some nice little oootsy-cutesy parlor...

...ohhh, sure, i got ice cream n' ginger ale for my sore throat but not mixed up nice in a float from some 'tonsorial parlor'...

..."...harden the fuck up, kids..."...that's all i'm sayin'...

McFly said...

Don't hear much about Bianchi Pista's these days. Funny how the cycling tides ebb and flow.

Salty and Sore said...

At BGW-

...hardened and up.

3:30am coverage bitches!

Okay, yes, and loving it.

Can't wait to hear more about the Twittering. So much more interesting when discussed than when actually using it, somehow.

And has anybody heard anything about this Lance Armstrong thing?

Anonymous said...

Wildcat Rock Machine, have you heard about these tacks being strewn along the paths in Central Park?

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/07/12/central-park-bikers-warned-to-keep-eyes-out-for-thumbtacks/

Anonymous said...

Knock Knock.

Who's There?

Cadel.

Cadel Who?

Exactly.

Anonymous said...

I'm Anonymous and I certainly didn't post anything complaining about "spoilers". I'm amazed that you have to stoop so low for comedic effect as to post fake comments on your own posts in order to create controversy.

Anonymous said...

Gratuitous spoiler alert! Spartacus wins yellow jersey in final stage!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

Spot of bother! Job of work!

Anonymous said...

I love cunt! And the way to go about the pseudo-apology with no actual expression of regret has pretty much been perfected by politicians and other useless assholes: You say, "I'm sorry if (insert brief eupemistic description of offensive action here) offended anyone, but clearly anyone who misunderstood my action and fails to see why I should be awarded some sort of Nobel prize for it must clearly be an idiot."

Anonymous said...

These cunts are making me thirsty!

FUCK IT I'M DONE said...

Bottom line, posting a spoiler is a fucking cunt thing to do.
And everyone who thinks reminding someone that posting a spoiler is a fucking cunt thing to do is an even bigger fucking cunt.
Seriously, been reading this blog for years, but now must abandon the BSNYC tour. Anyone need a signed copy of enlighten cyclist?

Summer said...

No, I was the one wearing only a nude heelaway

www.heelaway.com

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

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