Tuesday, March 20, 2012

This Just In: Gone Until Friday!

The time has come for me to start flogging my new book in person.  In fact, as you read this, I am making my way down to Washington, DC with my hobo bindle over my shoulder and my mangiest dog for companionship.  Here is an obligatory picture of the Washington Monument:


Here's the Lincoln Memorial:


And here's the White House:


I get misty-eyed every time I see it, though that could be the second-hand tear gas.

Anyway, this evening I'll be visiting the National Bike Summit.  Here, I'll be defacing books with my signature at a "Leauge Member meeting," where I pray to the Almighty Lobster on High there will be free alcoholic drinks for me.  Then it's off to find a suitable overpass beneath which to sleep.

On Wednesday, things get really ugly.  At 12:00 in the noontime, I'll be bloviating and defacing more books for the general non-Bike Summit-attending public in the following location:


Barnes & Noble
4801 Bethesda Avenue
Bethesda, MD 20814

Sure, it's the wrong city and state, but I'm assured it's at least in the general vicinity of Washington, DC.  Then, finally, at 6:00 in the PM, there will be a ride starting here:


1019 7th Street North West
Washington, DC 20001



This is not a Fredly Lycra-and-yak-leather-shoe ride; rather it is a sociable wear-regular-clothes-and-go-sightseeing ride.  I have never ridden a bicycle in Washington, DC before, so I'm very much looking forward to this outing.  I'm also looking forward to getting totally wasted at the Lincoln Memorial while blasting "The End," which I understand from the "Lonely Planet" guidebook is de rigeur behavior when visiting.

In any case, additional details are here.  Also, should anything urgent arise in my absence I will "Tweat" it here.  In the meantime, I hope to meet at least some of you in the coming days, and I'll resume my blog-"curation" duties on Friday, March 23rd.


--Wildcat Rock Machine


118 comments:

Anonymous said...

Early bird gets the podium!!

Anonymous said...

second

Anonymous said...

Turd

Anonymous said...

DFL

Ian Large said...

Not quite on the podium but happy to be here in the top 5! :-)

Enjoy your tours, Mr. Snob.

singlespeedwaster said...

early, but not turdy enough

McFly said...

Early goat gets the ferret.

Amy said...

Top 10!

Anonymous said...

yay I'm awake no not really too happy about that though

Billy said...

Early post! Top 10!

Billy said...

I didn't know Snob was capable of getting up this early! Amazing. Is he in Europe or something?

Billy said...

Have a great trip! I'm looking forward to hearing your take on D.C. cycling. My wife and I are considering moving there from Boston.

Also, you're there just in time for the cherry blossom festival that starts today!

PS - Happy Ostara / first day of Spring!

Dave Loggins said...

Please come to Boston for the springtime.

dcdouglas said...

I'm looking forward to riding with you tomorrow night, WRM.

I'll be the guy on the blue "smugness floatilla". Don't worry, there's plenty of room in the pockets for things to get you hammered on the ride.

Also, I think it's customary to hit up the old "Wednesday weed" at the Lincoln Memorial.

Buffalo Bill said...

Have a nice trip.

Tara said...

Not only is Bethesda near Washington, DC, but you could even bike there using the Capital Crescent Trail -- there is a trailhead (with bike parking!) basically across the street from that Barnes & Noble.

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DerZoots said...

Sigh.

petrus said...

Top XX!!

and looking forward to a BRA in DC proper next time!

Snobbed.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ride and Imbibe safely!

hillier99 said...

Pre-BRA Scranus

hillier99 said...

Pre-BRA Scranus

misster-PISSTA said...

snob-
if you go near falls church check out the bicycle pro shop (mel pinto)on annadale..

any DC tour should take in -dupont circle, rock creek park, and one or another famous punk spots of historical note don't forget your sharpie...

Anonymous said...

Bah. Why are we to suffer while the 1percenters in D.C. have more of all the fun?

What's next for the Snob blog job expansion prog?

Bike infrastructure consultancy with an ironic nod to cynicism seasoned by child-like innocence and wonder?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

WCRM,
Don't forget that when in DC, one must wear khaki shorts. It's mandated by Law.
enjoy your ride, and don't even think of running red lights, DC's finest are extremely vigilant!

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your BRAs Snobby.

cycle

crosspalms said...

"Happy sales to you,
until we meet again.
Happy sales to you,
keep smiling until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
Happy sales to you, till we meet again."

Just a little tune to burrow into your brain till you come back...

Quilled and Lugged said...

How are we on the left coast supposed to keep up with this posting schedule? Not fair...

Quilled and Lugged said...

How are we on the left coast supposed to keep up with this posting schedule? Not fair...

le Correcteur said...

Wow, early! And I'm just pack fodder today. I need more Spanish steak.

Anonymous said...

! Vive Bike Snob NYC !

Marcel Da Chump said...

Take that summit.

JB said...

Oh yeah, like you couldn't blogoviate while traveling. Oh yeah, I get it, a break from following the eat:sleep schedule of the kid. Lay on the hotel bed, read, watch PPV recumbabe shorts, and eat whenever you want. Enjoy!

domotion2011 said...

It's thoughtful to bring your mangy dog along to DC. Where else would it feel more at home than our flea bitten capital?

zoomer said...

Huh, what time is it?
yawn, Scranus!

Oh, and Weed panties.

grog said...

Have a lovely working vacation.
Remember, if you don't share pix, then it just didn't happen.
Scranus happens.

bob said...

What did Tara say?,...

bikesgonewild said...

...i'll claim one of 'quilled & lugged''s double comments so that i don't have to take the time to comment myself...

...just sayin'...

Jimbo said...

Ford's Theater

mikeweb said...

40 something-th from the west coast which equals podium from the east coast.

It's true.

Anonymous said...

Jimbo,Ford's Theater?

"Other than that, Mr. President, how did you enjoy the play?"

Luscious Dick Tacoma said...

$5 says this that's the only picture of Arkansas to appear on BSNYC.

And will remain so.

bikesgonewild said...

...so, i'm getting the sense that this 'mikeweb' guy is nearby...hmmm, wonder what that's all about ???...

bikesgonewild said...

...@ anon 1:08pm...the joke goes "...other than that, mrs lincoln, how did you enjoy the play ???"...

...the implication being...ohhh, never mind...

Quilled and lugged said...

...don't know what happened, my first double fault...

Anonymous said...

WEAK WEEK

Sir Reginald Douche'* said...

*Douche' pronounced Due-Shay



*** ANNOUNCING ***

- Gran Fondue Two Ohh One Two -

Gran Fondue Planet Earth*. World Wide over 100,000 Olympic Sized Pools filled with a blend of 9 organic goat cheeseseses. Do laps on your bike or just buzzz.

*GFPE

**Pee-Pee detectors are enabled.

Bikepath Country said...

Have a great trip. We look forward to reading your updates from the National Bike Summit!

hillbilly said...

Have the fun!!

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

Quickly, because I know you will be here in less than 24 hours:

1) Yes, Bethesda is in the neighborhood of DC. More precisely, it is the generic term for any piece of Maryland adjacent to DC that is rich, east of Rock Creek and not named after one of the Not-ready-for-primetime players.

2) As noted, yes, you can take the Capital Crescent Trail to DC and your next speaking gig. It is basically all down hill. Just bring a battery-powered angle grinder, and you can have your pick of any number of sweet crabon framed hybrids.

3) There will be a lot of bikes flying around on the roads near B&N. and lots of good photo opps to see some of the most fredtastic cyclists you are ever going to see.

4) B&N has been heavily promoting your event there. NOT. Hopefully word-of-blog has been strong enough to get you a decent crowd. Otherwise, I would just appeal to your audience's superior wealth and just tell them all they must buy multiple copies of your book. It might help if you let slip that you are an alumnus of every ivy league school and would be predisposed to say something favorable about the children of your overclass patrons.

5) My bike is the dark green awesome sauce Kona tourer. It had better still be locked to the rack after you have defaced my book.

pebes said...

Lobspeed

bikesgonewild said...

..."...This Just In: Gone Until Friday!!!..."...

...ya, sure...& then you're prob'ly gonna spring another quiz on us...

...bsnyc/rtms/wcrm is fast becoming like one of those 'grade school' teachers that none of us ever liked...

...he could have made this a 'field trip' & we all could have gone but NO-O-O...we all have to stay behind & then we'll be expected to get all the answers right on the friday 'fun facts' quiz...

Peta Todd said...

I WANT to RIDE my BICYCLE racer...
I WANT to RIDE my BIKE....
BIIIIcycle, BIIIIcycle.....racer

Quilled and Lugged said...

@bgw - and some of the questions are going to be about DC and Bethesda to boot. Like we are going to know anything about the swamp that is the East Coast

The King of Park Slope said...

I, myself, have visited that very Washington Memorial.

They have fencing and full time guards to stop you from having sex while ODing on the memorial.

I enjoyed it anyways.

Anonymous said...

"disassembling, flushing, greasing, and re-packing " I hope your new book deals more with greasing and re-packing than with disassembling and flushing as most often occurs in your blog. A bit of g&r advice; use "set your own" combination locks instead of key locks on your bike locking device. That way when it is wrapped around your waist there is no key to loose down the gutter when yu ride.

bikesgonewild said...

...quilled n' lugged...like "did george washington do such a great job as president that they shoulda left the town named after him ???...or should it maybe be named after each president (going forward)...district of columbia stays constant...

...'carter town dc, reaganville dc', bush city 1 dc, clinton acres dc, bush city 2 dc, obamaville dc...'...

...just a thought...

Fla Fla Flohi said...

Bosth? Another Vacation?

McFly said...

The KPS,
One should never "fence" and engage in coitus simultaneously. The results could be devistating, just ask Inigo Montoya. "You killed my penis, prepare to die."

leroy said...

Hobo bindle -- check.

Mangy dog -- check.

Harmonica -- harmonica? Dang, I knew I was missing something.

Oh well, I guess I don't have what it takes to get to Congress.

Honestly, nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

She said...

No, but you come home to me.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

Glad to have the filth prophylactics over both wheels today.

JDH said...

7 o'clock in the freaking morning?! Elbowed out and boxed in.

Quilled and Lugged said...

I subscribe the notion that if the Basques et al had come across the west coast first, nobody would have bothered trying to populate the east coast - or much of the rest of the country come to that.

don the cyclist said...

Just woke up what happen? ?

don the cyclist said...

Just woke up what happen? ?

Anonymous said...

Thank Lob for satire, hobo wine, overpasses and Wednesday weed.

Anonymous said...

Don,
You published your comment twice, that's what happened.

Reg said...

*** ATTENTION ***

All Gran Fondue Planet Earth participants. Nepal and Kathmandu will be featuring 14 non-kosher Yak cheeses.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Bethesda sucks.

Anonymous said...

Not true. You can run reds in front of dc cops, park police, Capitol police, those FBI cars. They don't ticket or stop you

Anonymous said...

Only if they were all lazy cocksuckers.

Anonymous said...

To put this in New York terms, Betheada is to DC as Yonkers is to New York Citay. Have fun with the dentists on serrotas.

Anonymous said...

"the end" the band, or one of the songs? have fun dude.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh.... spring, sun, mtb, beer, weed...
Life´s great!

straverse said...

Looking forward to the ride tonight. Just an FYI, here in DC we only ride in lycra and on TT/ tri bikes.

JB said...

Anon @ 2:42am: "The End" at the Lincoln Memorial, which in this blog post is actually a photo of Jim Morrison's "grave." This leads me to infer that "The End" is a the song by Ze Doors. It's pretty abstract, I know.

JB said...

Also, we need a report of the bikes that Snobby uses for these book tour rides. Hopefully, something like an aluminum Trek comfort hybrid.

skink said...

weed-dium!

Anonymous said...

He's goin to DC to piss everyone in the capitol off and thus bicycle ban will ensue. My future obese, steroidal children will not thank ye!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

First Takes on BikeSnobNYC's Bethesda BRA

I only have eleven minutes of approved leave left, so this will have to be quick. Bike Snob gave a very entertaining talk, outside of the surprisingly insistent proselytizing for Lobsterism. The "crowd", which I estimate at 40-50 people, was a pretty listless and unimaginative bunch that asked mostly pretty boring questions, so got relatively boring answers, although the author put in a bit of effort to make things more interesting. Crowd was likely more fredly than they let on; the guy two spaces behind me in line owns 21 bikes and races cyclocross. 'Nuff said.

Signing experience was quite good; efficient progress through the line and a signature cleverly combining legible and illegible components.

Some audience members also had copies of Bike Snob's first book to sign, which somewhat flummoxed the author since the artsy design precluded any nice blank pages early in the tome for signing. The result is an illegible signature on a psychedelic front cover page that my heirs will find impossible to get validated by the dude on Pawn Stars 30 years from now.

Overall, however, a cool event and you didn't get to be there.

Billy said...

Thanks for the report, Throwaway_Bicycling. However, I'm not sad I missed this, and it will be way cooler to get my book signed underneath the Fixie Terrordrome at the New Am bike show anyway.

Dooth said...

Throwaway_Bicycling, good work. Any Wednesday weed shout-outs?

cheva said...

Shark jumper

CommieCanuck said...

Bethesda? too close to DC for comfort, 3:1 odds you'll be fredboarded in a basement in Quantico by Friday afternoon.

While in Bethesada, check out the stunning night life! (behind the Taco Bell, bring your own huffing bag).

Anonymous said...

Throwaway,
You cannot really act surprised that he is averse to human interaction because he clearly documents throughout the blog that people do not like him and so therefore he does not care for them either and will be just fine and dandy communicating via the twitter and other various electronic medium thank you very much.

cycle bro said...

Someone, please yell out Panties!
at the next BRA.

Buzzz Bonghitzmeister said...

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz etc., etc.

Book buying pubic said...

No Sickers!


I mean WTF!

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

@Anonymous 5:03 PM:

I did not actually detect any aversion to human interaction. But...I might not be the optimal detector for that.

heart rate monitors said...

Have a happy trip to D.C.I am consider moving there too with my bicycle and I am gonna give a try to a bicycle ride there too.heart rate monitors

McFly said...

I swear if I hear one more Versus Commentator yell out Piccolo Principe!!! and then tell me "That's Little Prince in italian" I am going to go out of my freakin mind. Right after that they usually start going on about Cunego did not reach his potential and he is mercurial. I get it, you can say little prince in italian, I see what you did there. Now go win Lombardia 3 times or the Giro once or shut the f--k up.

CommieCanuck said...

McFly, Cunego did reach his potential, when he was snorting an assload of cocaine with SAECO in 02.

Versus Commentator said...

Abbiamo Piccoli peni!!

grog said...

Excellent Throwaway Report!
Hey kids, NYT has two entertaining articles today (Thursday).
Bicycle Habitat run by Mr. McCorkell is written in the style of RTMS, including pix and name-dropping people in heels, people who don't own cars, and people we know from MrRogers Neighborhood.
Another article about Bike-share program at NYU providing possible formula for a city program.
But alas, no Recumbabe, and no Scranus. You're Welcome.

lONE Wolf said...

The 'social illiteratti' sez ... NO STICKERS!

McFly said...

CC,
He could have used a line last year in that TT that Leiphiemer put it on him in. I forget how much time he lost, like 2 min. Oh great now they got me slammin' him. ILL PICCIDELLI PRINCIPALITYIO!!!

SteadyFreddy said...

Century Mark! See you in Boulder El Snoberino.

Billy said...

Thursday podium!

Actually just 101. Mr heart rate monitor got the first post of the day.

PS - If you need a heart rate monitor while cycling in DC, you must be a Fred. Slow down and change into some less ridiculous clothes, please.

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

Billy wrote:

PS - If you need a heart rate monitor while cycling in DC, you must be a Fred. Slow down and change into some less ridiculous clothes, please.

Almost nobody needs a heart rate monitor, ever, as far as I can tell. But there are some places in the DC area that would get pretty much everybody's heart rate up. The hill up from the Rock Creek Trail/Beach Drive to Seminary (Forsythe Rd.) being a prominent example.

Anonymous said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/22/garden/how-to-turn-abandoned-bicycles-into-hanging-lamps.html?_r=1#

see what happens when you leave the city!

Brother Scott of Beth Esda said...

And it came to pass on the twenty first day of the third month that The Snob did make his way along the fertile Crescent Trail to the settlement at Beth Esda, where he did drink of the cool [bottled] water they did have there.

And he did address the crowd assembled there saying, "Behold, I bring you news. Lob is the Way [to improved cycling infrastructure] and only through the sacred crustacean shall you attain enlightenment." And The Snob did pronounce the Commandments of Lob. "Thou shalt not shoal. Thou shalt not salman. Thou shalt not race others who race you not. Thou shalt feel free to pleasure yourself, but c’mon, enough with the bike porn already."

And the people there did hear the Woid and did receive the book, and they knew that it was good. Really, it was quite good. You should pick up a copy.

Praise be to Lob

Anonymous said...

And all Lob's children said........A-meh.

Julia Whitmore said...

Good luck with the book flog. Thanks for the irreverence. Honorable mention: http://holdouts.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/best-blogs/

bikesgonewild said...

..."...ohhh, ya, i remember it well...i'd been around that site from pretty early on & certainly before it gained the popularity & notoriety it got in the end..."...

..."...please tell us about it, bikesgonewild..."...

..."...hey, no problem, kids...you young hipsters need to know the real truth...

..."...now, bsnyc/rtms/wcrm, the bikesnob or simply 'snob', as the newbie acolytes were want to call him & which some of us felt was a little disrespectful, wrote that first book, which received some nice reviews & so at that point in time, everything was on the up n' up...

..."...it was almost 'family like' on the site & ya, like any family, there were a few squabbles here n' there but all n' all, it was a pretty supportive group..."
...

..."where did it all go wrong, bgw ???"...

..."...as i recall, it was about the time of the release of bsnyc/rtms/wcrm's 2nd book when things began to turn...to us seasoned 'snoberliterati', it was just another great & funny read, something to share with others in the cycling community & that was pretty much it..."...

..."...but what ???..."...

..."...easy there, kids...be patient...anyway, the newbs were certainly not lacking in enthusiasm but a select number were reading a bit much into everything spoken & written by bsnyc/rtms/wcrm...

..."...ohhh, sure, they'd pass it off as 'praise to the lobster god' but it was clear to see they were caught up in a fever pitch...

..."...then it happened...the crucifixion & it was all too late, there was no turning back..."
...

...", here, bikesgonewild...here's a hanky..."...

..."...thank, hipster kids...i'll be alright...just give me a moment to compose myself..."...

McFly said...

Ellipses AND italics? I think my face just melted. The same thing happens when Liz Hatch unzips her jersey about 3/4.

Anonymous said...

LizHatch‑567x377.jpg



blog.bikeridr.com


567 × 377 - ... the women's cycling has the momentum to take some sporting limelight…












Similar ‑ More sizes

Quilled and Lugged said...

@bgw, did your hipster audience shed even an ironic tear?

Anonymous said...

Ok. It's Friday. Break over, Mr. Snob.
Let's get the Quiz on the interwebs asap.

Coffee cools
as I type.
And
To be quizzed while cooling coffee sits.
Is Not
good.
And microwaved coffee is neither good.
Nor coffee.

paulb said...

You have an S&S couplers bike too? My apartment building's bike room is so full of junk bikes it's no wonder the bikes never see daylight. BikeSnob Towers, the bike room must be like Aladdin's Cave.

Jack Olivia said...

Good Posting, Every one can learn something. Best Regards,CEO of Make Making Money

Bike Locks said...

I pray to the Almighty Lobster on High there will be free alcoholic drinks for me.

Robert said...

Glad to see 'Murrica made a better obelisk.

Samantha said...

Sometimes it is tough to differ between Lincoln memorial and the royal square in Paris.

Sam@http://ejaculationtrainer101.org

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