Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Awesomest Generation: The Gnosis Myth

Back in the 1990s (the decade that Kurt Andersen says is indistinguishable from the 1980s or the 2000s, even though it was the only decade during which it was socially acceptable to wear baggy shorts with combat boots and to have a soul patch), there was a situation comedy called "Seinfeld." This show came to define 1990s television in much the same way baggy shorts, combat boots, and soul patches came to define the 1990s "alternative" look. Anyway, in one episode, Jerry offers to deliver Newman's mail for him, and the following exchange ensues:

JERRY: (Bravely) Well, what if I deliver it?
NEWMAN: You?! (Laughs hysterically) You can't deliver mail!
JERRY: Well, why not?
NEWMAN: (Thinks for a moment) I guess you're right. It's just walking around putting it into boxes...


While on the surface this just appears to be typical Seinfeldian repartee, it actually expresses a fundamental truth about life, which is that despite our best attempts to obfuscate it, it's actually boneheadedly simple. Really, life is just walking around putting stuff into boxes. Eighty percent of success really is just showing up, as Soon-Yi Previn/Farrow's husband/father once quipped. Tend your garden, as French writer Cabaret Voltaire once advised. That's it. There's no big secret. Before enlightenment you carry water and sweep the floor. After enlightenment you carry water and sweep the floor. And so forth.

Cycling is really no different, and as much as we like to think it's some rarefied pursuit that transcends everyday life that's really not the case--even when it comes to competitive cycling, which, for all the power meters and coaches and electronic equipment and "weird style diktats," really just comes down to this:



The problem, though, is that it's really hard to market the notion that cycling (or indeed life) is as simple as walking around and putting stuff into boxes. Like Newman, we all need to believe we possess some arcane knowledge or rarefied skill or "gnosis" attainable only by a tiny portion of the human population. If we're selling something, our job is to tempt people with this ineffable "gnosis" by burying it under phrases like "laterally stiff and vertically compliant" or by implying that this year's $2,000 component group lost those three crucial grams that were keeping last year's $2,000 component group from bringing you all the way to having a complete and total Zen-tastic bike-gasm all over your laterally stiff and vertically compliant crabon frame. Or, if we're buying, we need to believe that we're nearly there, and by spending just a little more money we can finally enjoy sweet, explosive release. It's what makes retail prices like these possible:

(Holy crap.)

Yes, marketing is a subtle art. Give consumers too little and they get blueballs and go elsewhere. Give them too much and they climax too soon and start thinking clearly again. The truly gifted marketer can keep you right there in the middle, sometimes for years at a time, sucking the cash from your wallet like a stripper with a Miele.

This illusory "gnosis" concept doesn't just apply to selling stuff, either. It also applies to marketing the idea of ourselves, or our own lifestyles. We all need to believe we're the Navy SEALs in the Girl Scouts of Life, when in reality most of us are the Old Navy fleece pullover in the Wardrobe of Mediocrity. Cyclists--American cyclists in particular--are especially adept at deluding themselves in this manner. Consider this excerpt from a comment in support of daredevil cycling videographer Lucas Brunelle:

Almost every fatality and bad cycling accident in NYC is caused by an inattentive driver and an inexperienced cyclist. The driver is usually at fault but a rider like Lucas would never get hit by an inattentive driver. In my opinion the videos make it look a lot more dangerous than it really is. This is nearly impossible to understand unless you are able to ride at the same level which very few people are able too (or want to). A skilled urban rider's interference with traffic and pedestrians is extremely limited. If you are crossing the street Lucas will pass by you like a gust of wind. You won't even notice his presence until he's passed you and already a block away.

A gust of wind? Seriously? Sure, it's easy to delude yourself into thinking you're insubstantial and spirit-like when you don't stick around to interact with the people you're pissing off. Plus, when was the last time you saw a gust of wind make a documentary about itself? Then again, the "wind" analogy isn't totally off, since blowing through a busy intersection at full speed is a lot like laying a huge fart and then leaving the room.

More stunning though is the notion that "a rider like Lucas would never get hit by an inattentive driver," and that injury and death is somehow the exclusive domain of the hapless "noob." On the self-delusion hierarchy, thinking you're immortal lies on the very top. It's the greatest human folly. This has been true throughout history, from the Egyptian pharaohs and their lavish tombs, to the search for the Fountain of Youth, to people who think they are vampires. (Vampirism is often the next stop after Star Wars roleplaying.)

Of course, if it were actually true that "skilled urban cyclists" were immune from harm then there would be no need for a Bicycle Messenger Emergency Fund, yet someone saw fit to create one. This is because there's usually a sizable gap between reality and the "gnosis myth," which is articulated perfectly in the above comment:

This is nearly impossible to understand unless you are able to ride at the same level which very few people are able too (or want to).

"Impossible to understand," really? This may be true of particle physics, but it's simply not true of riding a bike in a city. I do agree with the Brunelle apologists about one thing, which is that riding a bike in an urban environment--even at high speeds--is simply not all that remarkable. The subjects of Brunelle's videos don't really have skills beyond those of the typical Dutch commuter--or the typical American commuter for that matter. They're just more vain and are thus willing to take more risks in the service of theatrics.

But it won't do to acknowledge the fact that the new bike commuter on the freshly-purchased Public will possess most of these essential "nearly impossible to understand" skills in a matter of weeks, or that the only "gnosis" involved in cycling is the decision to ride a bike in the first place. (Yes, in America you are still "crossing the Rubicon" when you decide to ride a bike, so in that respect you are somewhat remarkable.) This is because cyclists all need to be better than each other. Further to yesterday's post someone on Twitter alerted me to an article in the New York Times about "hipsters," and it contained the following quote:

Taste is not stable and peaceful, but a means of strategy and competition. Those superior in wealth use it to pretend they are superior in spirit. Groups closer in social class who yet draw their status from different sources use taste and its attainments to disdain one another and get a leg up. These conflicts for social dominance through culture are exactly what drive the dynamics within communities whose members are regarded as hipsters.

Just as social classes claim true knowledge of "taste," cycling subcultures claim true possession of "skills" even though they're mostly just doing the same thing in different clothes. Who has better bike-handling skills, the urban cyclist or the amateur racer? Does it really matter? They're all dorks! It's like arguing about who would win in a fight: Batman, or Darth Vader. (Uh, Darth Vader. Duh...) And no matter what you wear, or how unimaginably awesome your skills are, the distinctions become meaningless when someone whacks you in the face with a brick:

...or a golf ball for that matter.

In any case, it's easy to fall into the myth of your own awesomeness, so I find it helpful to remind myself once and awhile that we all suck at riding bikes, and that the one of us who sucks the least wins* the Tour de France. It's really not much more complicated than that. This doesn't preclude our spending a bunch of money on a crabon "halo bike" or an artisanal custom dreamcycle, just so long as we keep in mind that focusing entirely on the bike is like picking a university based on how comfortable the chairs in the lecture hall are. Some companies have done a remarkable job of marketing the equivalent of taking a correspondence course while sitting in an ergonomic chaise lounge.

*(Pending the results of the bloodwork.)

Ultimately, we're all just walking around putting stuff in boxes, though some of us do suck at this more than others:


Bike crash on Brooklyn bridge by 10:30 - m4w - 20 (Brooklyn bridge)
Date: 2011-12-13, 2:55PM EST
Reply to:

I crash when I was on my bike, you were taking photos and just walked in to the path bike i warned you but because of all the traffic noise you did not hear me; and it was late I push my rear brake but you was closely and when I pushed both brakes the front one trow me off of the bike and I I hit you . I'm so sorry about your camera but I'm glad you are ok, you asked me if I was ok you were really nice to me and the people who helped us. I just got some scratches on my legs and my helmet got broken wish I release when I got home.
Email me if you read this I wanna help you get another camera because yours got broken


That never would have happened if he didn't have any brakes.

130 comments:

Anonymous said...

1st?!

Save teh Freds said...

podium!

Surly Bastard said...

Podium?

mikeweb said...

Top 5-ish?

Buy-cycle said...

Top 39? Weed

Jeff N. said...

Top ten! 6ish

Anonymous said...

TOOOOOP TEEEEENNN

Anonymous said...

Top Ten and I didn;t read it.
I'll be back...

Anonymous said...

You're not going to remark on "I release when I got home"?!?!

mikeweb said...

Yes, $18,000 for the MacLaren Venge. How cheeky.

Anonymous said...

"That never would have happened if he didn't have any brakes."

Thank you sir. TOP TWENTY?? [w/ brakes].

Kenny Banya said...

Gold post today Snobby.

Jasper said...

Cabaret Voltaire - now they were definitely 80s (okay, late 70s too) and not 90s.

Anonymous said...

Snubster, you're sounding very retrogrouchy this week.

NTTAWWT.

When people ask me how I got to be sooo fast I tell them the unvarnished simple truth, I just push down harder on the pedals more often more often than they do.

Gawd, I am such a dick.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Miele made some bikes too, back in the day, though I never met one owned by a stripper.

22 Bikes said...

maybe if i take a life insurance policy out on lucASS brunelle i would be able to afford the McLaren one. Just a matter of time.

Kenny said...

Do you know what the street value of that mountain is?


IT'S PURE SNOW!!

theEel said...

wEed.

Sergeant Spellchek said...

There's an extra 'o' in the phrase "same level which very few people are able too."

Just so you know, too.

le Correcteur said...

Top Twenty?

crosspalms said...

Two smart, funny, thoughtful posts in a row. You're going to spring a paywall on us, aren't you...

Udder said...

It's not about bike handling skills, it's about awareness. I recall an old PSA about jaywalking that went: "Stop, Look and Listen." No mad skills required...

Anonymous said...

BRIK FACE

OBA said...

I want my $2 dollars!

Anonymous said...

Tebow

Anonymous said...

Yes, we are a bunch of sucky dorks. At least we have fun. That's all that matters to me.

Devil's advocate said...

There's some truth to the "gust of wind" theory. It's safer to ignore bicycle messengers than to panic and jump out of their way.

But for the riders who would say that their skills will protect them from accidents, well I can't wait to hear their rationalizations after they get knocked down.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Boxed in.

McFly the skeptic said...

did man really go to the moon?

jno62 said...

Brilliant Snobby. What I like to call ,"The Big Lie". Tell it!

g said...

Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

cyclotourist said...

I exchanged my Suitcase of Courage for a Wardrobe of Mediocrity long ago.

cyclotourist said...

If Sting went into marketing, he could be a tantric marketer.

80's Sting =/= 90's Sting.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

JamesKInIA said...

I thought I was totally zen, then a Taxi punted me as I was passing him on the right in crosstown traffic. It's amazing how quickly that happens.

I shrugged that one off as a fluke, then a week later a ninja salmon scooter appeared 10 feet before me in the dark and I went over the bars. Not very zen. Fortunately I had the spatial sense to kick him into a parked car as I was sailing over my bars.

Anonymous said...

Time for another round of Lucas the Asshole bashing, eh? Okay, here goes. The problem with him is that he tries to make his bike as dangerous to himself and others as SUV-driving idiots make their SUVs. And, if we are to believe him (and the asses that support him), he succeeds.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

pebes said...

speak the truth, brother Wildcat!

although, honestly- there are some people with really really bad taste. take for example fans of the band "creed" (or any number of the bands that sound just like em). there are others...

etherhuffer said...

Great post.

But more humor or Ima fkn killya.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Bashing Lucas so I can feel superior is hypocritical in my case, because I'd been there and dunnit. But like in yesterday's Louis C.K clip where he says things are amazing today, urban cycling in observance of traffic laws is today's amazing, Zen level.

Blog Drafter said...

I was going to comment on the lucidity of your comments when I realized that, holy shit, you kind of said that Caesar maybe had a bike! What kind do you think it was? I mean, Caesar could kick ass, WWCR?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

mikeweb said...

Let me know when Lucas is coming to town, so I can stock up on Silca frame pumps.

SPOK JAMM

Buffalo Bill said...

I try to suck less, but every year I keep sucking at least as much as I did before. Maybe I'll get some crabon wheels, that'll help, right?

wishiwasmerckx said...

So is Lucas Brunelle related to Johan Bruyneel?

Does he have white lunch bags?

Inquiring minds want to know...

superficial comment said...

The look Alice in Chains is rocking? Totally derived from mid 80's bike messenger aesthetic.

Some may think Bike Messengers are cool and all, but the blame for the "Cargo Shorts" plague lay squarely in their Zo bags.

television_writer said...

What? Creed is the shinizzle! I've got all their albums on my iPhone with Beats headphones. You probably don't even have any Thomas Kincaid art in your hovel either.

How many Venge lovers pants yabbies would be deflated if they understood it's a $600 Giant?

Back to the grind! Mike Ross' lines don't just appear out of thin air you know.

Anonymous said...

To summarize BSNYC in two sentences - Assholes are proud of being assholes. If they weren't, they wouldn't be assholes.

Anonymous said...

Can I get City College credit for reading the last two posts? I need them to gradewate.

Anonymous said...

HUGE FART
LAID WIND

Grabbing on to a car instead of pedaling is the antithesis of cycling -- motor doping.

Unknown said...

Great post. Reminds me of a lot of research on how people perceive themselves versus a larger group. Somehow, most people believe themselves to be better than average...

The overconfidence syndrome. It's why we end up with a bunch of unqualified turds running for president, a bunch of unqualified turds running and ruining the world's finances and bunch of bike dorks buying expensive race bikes when, really, they'd be better off on a relaxed-geometry piece of steel. Actually, who wouldn't be?

Big Charlie said...

Venge? Nah, Schmenge!

Christmas in Leutonia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqvFYXybtgA

Paul Bowen said...

Once I saw the Cabs and The Stray Cats within a couple of days of each other. Found a £10 note on the ground on the way to the first which enabled me to get drunk at both. Good week that.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I was going to ride today but it rained.

Benny Kanya. said...

Ant2nd!

Terre Haute Karl said...

"Better Off Dead", one of the greatest movies ever. Major Charles Emerson Winchester III, "I want my two dollars", Booger, Japanese Howard Cosell, claymation fast food performing VH...ah, it's been a long time since they made movies of that caliber.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

Your posts make my lunchtime complete. Many thanks!





balls®

A fountain of gnowledge said...

You asshats don'r gnow shit.

xyxax said...

If I lived in Willyburg, would I have hip gnosis?

JDH said...

60rd?? This would never have happened if I didn't have brakes!

pebes said...

yo TV writer! thanks for cluing me to Thomas Kincaid (i never gnew). although it has a certain, ahem, appeal... I can't believe an actual person is willing to put their name on it.

Anonymous said...

once and awhile
the mellow circularity of time
wow
Wednesday

wannabe frame builder said...

Gnosis on my frames.

pebes said...

holy shit!!!!


http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/ron-paul-endorsements.php

look at the second endorsement on this list!!!!!!! i gnew something was up with these wackos!

Anonymous said...

OK, enough with the existential bullshit.
Let's back back to talking about panties.

Anonymous said...

"It's easy to fall into the myth of your own awesomeness..." Snob, you pretty much summed up every single Rapha customer.

mikeweb said...

@pebes,

That is a beautiful list of fine 'Murican organizations.

My favorite: SoCal Objectivist Boardgamers Guild.

"Howard Roark laughed. Then he passed Go and collected $200"

Old Navy fleece pullover in the Wardrobe of Mediocrity said...

ScranusNipple!

urbanknifethrower said...

I suck at the bicycling

pebes said...

i like "grandmothers against steampunk".

Anonymous said...

WHOA, Thanks Snob for pointing me at that interview with Lucas Brunelle. Reading it I was thinking, "ahh to be extremely young and EXTREMELY stupid again", kinda sympathizing with the guy for what he feels he has to do to sell his shitty video...

Then I read the top comment? How is he 40 years old and still 18 dumb? Was he born negative stupid?

His vids are chopped pretty piss poor too, so much better out there.

But SNOB, I would have missed that if not for you. LOL

pebes said...

i wonder if Lucas Brunelle is part of the "Unashamed Public Dogfuckers Alliance".

Anonymous said...

Did biker in bike crash on bridge have his lawful bike bell or horn? or was it all verbal?

Anonymous said...

i farted.

Anonymous said...

Jerry rode a green Klein

messy mess said...

I know where Jerry lives. CPW.

crosspalms said...

I think I might belong to the Mid Atlantic Fedora Society. I'll have to check.

Anonymous said...

Moses supposes his gnosis is roses
but Moses supposes erroneously.

crosspalms said...

And the Tax-Free Raccoon Exchange meets on my back porch whenever I put out food for the feral cats. Small world.

leroy said...

To the editors

Dear sirs or mesdames:

The undersigned wishes to acknowledge that he was wrong two days ago when he boasted that he had a skill that Mr. Brunelle did not.

While it is true that the undersigned has the ability to tell the difference between luck and skill, that ability did not require riding thousands of miles in NYC to develop.

In point of fact, the undersigned determined early on that diving into oncoming traffic at night without lights was not a good idea.

The undersigned nonetheless hopes that this skill will enable him to pursue thousands of more miles on NYC thoroughfares and deeply regrets any confusion his prior post may have caused.

Humbly yours,

leroy

Anonymous said...

Mr. BSNYC- Its been a couple years, but curious, what did you yell at that blond walking the dachshund?

g-roc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
g-roc said...

Snob, your post seemed overly bikey today and only one occurrence of the word garden.

-do not put anything in my flower box

ConArtist said...

This post reminds me about that aero helmet I've been wanting to get. I hate wearing helmets b/c they're gay and everything, but someone said itt'l make me faster and so in other words, "FUCK YA!!!!"

Anonymous said...

Mix Up
Red Mecca
2x45

Brunelle's comments remind of the many times on a busy freeway in a big city that I make space for the crazy guy driving too fast and changing lanes erratically. He thinks that his driving is awesome but really the awareness of others saves his ass and avoids calamity for all of us around him.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Don't know about gnosis but I do have a garden gnome in my back yard. He's got black boots, a blue coat and little red pointy hat. You might have seen him around.

Tucker Doubt said...

WIND GUST

CROP DUST

Jasper said...

@ Paul Bowen - Found a £10 note on the ground on the way to the first which enabled me to get drunk at both. Good week that.

Good old days when you could get drunk twice for a tenner.

Ben Levy said...

"It's easy to fall into the myth of your own awesomeness, so I find it helpful to remind myself once and awhile that we all suck at riding bikes, and that the one of us who sucks the least wins the Tour de France. It's really not much more complicated than that".

May LOB on high grant me such wisdom & clarity, along with lateral stiffness and vertical compliance.

A-Meh

bikesgonewild said...

...lucas brunelle = bwahahaha...guys a fucking joke...a pretentious joke but a fucking joke...

...anon 1:23pm..."...motor doping..."...perfect...

...'gnosis'...i thought those were little italian 'tater dumplings...which reminds me 'bout the time martha stewart (tm) cooked me up a big plate a them gnosis with a delicate sauce...

...thus fortified, i then proceeded to make a special sauce for her little dumplin'...

MMMmmmmmmmmm said...

Gnocchi for dinnah.

HalfStepandtheBilly said...

Where are you Billy?
Ready to hit the southwest corridor for the ride home?

Sandals and wool socks right?

warren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unhappy Drummer said...

Hey where did everybody go, I am here in front of this really ugly house with my drum, and no fucking drum circle! I think I will break into everybodys house and start drumming.

warren said...

reminded me of vonnegut:
"we are here for no purpose, unless we can invent one. of that i am sure. the human condition in an exploding universe would not have been altered one tenth if, rather than live as i have, i had done nothing but carry a rubber ice-cream cone from closet to closet for sixty years."
he overestimated with the one tenth.

Anonymous said...

In the Netherlands the car driver is presumed guilty if involved in a collision with a bike; the court case is to try to prove otherwise.

I found that the greatest dangers when cycling in Amsterdam are other cyclists and tramlines. We don't have trams in Edinburgh.....do we?

hey nonny mouse

Dyslexia said...

Why are trampolines a danger to cyclists?

wishiwasmerckx said...

A gnat gnawed on a gnu.

wishiwasmerckx said...

99th...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th again...

Anonymous said...

But it's th sysmetry of 101 that is teh best!

FuckenTypoMans said...

You saw I spelt it wrong.

Freie Fahrt said...

I think that this is almost the same thing you say every day, just without being arch or ironic. Really nice.

Anonymous said...

Cabaret Voltaire?

RTMS.... you know I want you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tttk_ofeBI&feature=related

Unknown said...

always a pleasure to be pleased by ya Snob............

B Miller said...

I crashed head-on to another biker on the Brooklyn Bridge. The oncoming rider caused it, but then he lay on the ground crying.

Anonymous said...

I went head on to a guy that was half sumo half samoaian on the Golden gate Bridge, he was totaly doing the pedestrian shuffle. we head butted, he got a black eye I got a bent form on a super corsa. His bike was OK .hense I am

mister Pissta..

...did I make the time cut? put me back on my...

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

@Quilled and Lugged 11:54-

I had one of those Miele bikes awhile ago. It was a classic lugged steel road racing-ish model and I liked it quite well. Eventually, from abusive riding on rough roads, the drive side dropout broke, and I didn't feel it was worth fixing. I'd like that decision back...

Please????...

No???...

shit

John Mayer said...

Red wine and ambien, you're talkin shit again.

Heartbroken said...

I bought an orange and red Miele road frame on ebay years ago for a very tall girlfriend. That was a sweet ride.

She left me in a very cold hearted way soon after. Sometime later I thought I saw an interloper riding the bike.

Miele still is a word I don't like to hear. When I see one of those bikes it's like I'm in the shit all over again.

JD from Aust said...

A gust of wind passing by unnoticed? I'm guessing said gust weighs about 80 kilos (I'm from Australia). PLus his bike would be about 10 Kgs. So 90 kgs moving at about 30 kph - that is not a gust. It's a f-wit about to hurt someoneone really badly. I remember reading about driver re-education in South Korea where car drivers who had accidents were forced to take lessons again. One interesting comment from a driver was "I had to stop thinking that the car was an extension of my self. In reality, I was trying to control 2000+ kgs of metal at speed, that could cause untold damage on a human being".

Your NYC "Gust of Wind" is a damn fool.

Anonymous said...

I'd like the last comment, please.

Anonymous said...

I had a pink Miele once. My first road bike!
It was too big for me so I sold it, stopped racing and bought a mountain bike.
That was much better and a lot more fun!

Anonymous said...

I said, I'd like the last comment, PLEASE!

Jay Anderson said...

Beautiful post. Thank you, thank you Sam-I-Am.

Anonymous said...

@plebes

are you sure you want to thank anyone for cluing you in to Thomas Kincaid?? That cult leader hasn't curated an original piece of art since his original stab at it...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Haertbroken - "I bought an orange and red Miele road frame on ebay years ago for a very tall girlfriend. That was a sweet ride."

Were you referring to the girlfriend or the Miele?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 7:42 - "I got a bent form on a super corsa."

Did you get your form straightened? I hate it when my form gets bent.

Did you have tom get a new form? Did you have to wait in line at the DMV to get it?

Anonymous said...

Heartbroken --

"I bought an orange and red Miele road frame on ebay years ago for a very tall girlfriend. That was a sweet ride."

Which one?

Anonymous said...

Last comment!

John G said...

Just putting some words in this box.

Anonymous said...

to whathismerckx @ 11:32

I meant Fork not form but being annon. I cannot edit/..

MR.PISSTA

jachmilli said...

Beach cruiser prices have escalated to an outrageous price these last few years and together the founders realized there had to be a way to make things more affordable.

bike lock

robskiph said...

Best post I can remember reading. Good work Snobbo

Rex H said...

I'll assume there was an implied reference to sex with the "life is just walking around putting stuff into boxes" comment.

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet

open face helmets said...

There's no big secret. Before enlightenment you carry water and sweep the floor. After enlightenment you carry water and sweep the floor.

OMR said...

Lovely shoes ! It's perfect for the summer

http://www.xtraorbit.com/1366.html

PROfessionaL said...

Free porn videos xoporntube watch !

Fixie Bikes said...

"That never would have happened if he didn't have any brakes."

lol