BSNYC Friday Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune!

(Going off half-cocked, spotted by a reader)

As you may have heard, a tornado or tornado-like weather event hit Brooklyn and Queens yesterday evening. I'm very fortunate to be able to report that my home and its contents have emerged from the storm intact. However, they have been relocated to Cleveland by the twister, so I look forward to greeting you as BikeSnobCLE come Monday.

Like the best climbers in cycling, tornados are skinny, spin fast, and strike quickly, and since I was not in the direct path of this so-called "elephant trunk skid of God" I had no idea it was happening and simply dismissed it as a simple thunderstorm. Once the storm passed, I then emerged from my hidey-hole to jiggle my legs a bit in Prospect Park, where I encountered this:

At which point I kicked myself for not "palping" my Metrofiets wood-chipper bike. (In Portland, wood-chipper bikes are the new cargo bikes, which were the new "fixies," which were the new Rollerblades.) Still, despite the damage I didn't realize that we had actually been ravaged by an alleged tornado until I returned to my hidey-hole. In fact, as of this morning the National Weather Forecast still would not say that it was a tornado, citing the need for additional evidence despite the nature of the damage and the existence of amateur video. Interestingly, this is pretty much the same way that New York City responds to vehicular hit-and-run.

Of course, any discussion of tornados and bicycles invites gratuitous "Wizard of Oz" references, and it just so happens that earlier this week I received the following photograph taken by a reader in Central Park:

Apparently the reader noticed something fuzzy in the vicinity of the top tube, and so he zoomed in for a closer look:

It's Toto's nonplussed modern-day time-trialling equivalent.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see a real "epic."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and on behalf of myself and the nonplussed TT chihuahua I wish you a pleasant and storm-free weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Second-placed rider at the Vuelta a España, Ezequiel Mosquera, has been benefitting from which performance-enhancing tool?

--Power meters

--Financial incentives

--EPO

--Insults

2) Which is not an explanation for the "wing" pictured above?

--"each 'wing' makes a cyclist 200% more visible on the road. higher visibility of cyclist enhances their safety. the perceived number of cyclists in seoul can be tripled overnight by the 'wing'. there is safety in numbers!"

--"the air cleaning function of 'wing' turns cycling into an air-cleaning act. it helps to earn cyclists the respect from drivers. due to their contribution to a cleaner environment, cyclists earn the right to use the road, even though they may not be paying road tax or other related charges."

--"the 'wing' is intended to be a part of seoul’s city-wide effort to improve its design brand and image. it will contribute to establishing a healthier cycling culture through enhanced cyclist safety and social status."

--"a small gust of wind is sufficient to lift the cyclist into the sky so he or she can rain death upon the fleeing populace like a raging Mothra of smugness"

3) Fill in the blank: "Sure Signs Of ________"

--Practicality
--Progress
--Smugness
--A budding romance

4) This messenger bag is:

--"Fully Wicked Sick"

--"Mind-Bendingly Gnar"

--"Taint-Tinglingly Delightful"

--"Capacious and Outrageous"

(Minimalists visiting a design website.)

5) Cars are "minimalist."

--True

--False

(Really "feeling" the New Douchery.)

6) Sharpen your designer axes! Artisanal urban moonshine is the new PBR.

--True

--False

7) Nobody botches a bicycle remount quite like a:

--Cyclocross racer

--Hipster

--Triathlete

--Roadie

***Special Techno-Cockie-Themed Bonus Question***

What is this?

--A dedicated street-mapping bike

--A dedicated porn-watching bike

--Performance Bicycle's customer service center

--My own personal blogging bike